Don’t know about you, but when I think ELITE HOOPS, I think Pacific Northwest (first two semifinalists) and SEC, Pawwwwwwwllllll (3 of today’s 4 sides). Also, congratulations to Brocky’s Hoosiers for making the best coaching hire of the offseason, NC State alumnus Arch Miller. He’s a good man, and a great coach.
#7E South Carolina v. #4E Florida (2:20, CBS)
Both these sides have been, like, scary good this entire tourney. I have no freaking clue where this streak of excellence came from, but here we is. Winner faces Gonzaga, so you will be pulling for them to make the final. Watch it closely and shit.
#2S Kentucky v. #1S U*NC (5:05, CBS)
The stupid Holes look as unstoppable as the P*ts did, which given the way 2016-2017 has gone, I guess is to be expected. CBS got the sploosh matchup they wanted, I will read and have it on mute in the background, just in case Coach Cal shits in the punch bowl and makes Hippo happy.
Kentucky: “Yay! We tied the game! We tied the… Oh, right! Defense!”
Holy cow
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2744e73762e0ccb5a1dcb259460144b4/tumblr_ohz76835gC1snghrzo1_500.jpg
What a fucking ending!!!!
How to determine who gets possession of a loose ball:
Soccer: First person to kick the ball gets possession.
Football: First person to come out of a dog pile with the ball gets possession.
Basketball: Whichever way an arrow is pointing.
Shit this is getting fun and crazy!
In college, I used to bar tend down in the inner harbor, near the Baltimore Convention Center. Not surprisingly, the doc and lawyer conventions were miserable. Those folks tip for shit.
But by far…the single worst week to be working, and no bullshit we would have folks quit rather than do the week, was when the Comic Con would happen in Baltimore.
I hated dealing with the comic con kids.
Did UK suddenly forget how to basketball?
Why does the UNC coach look like he’s trying to pass a kidney stone?
The Golden Grohls might be the best thing I’ve ever seen. Thanks Moose.
they’re closing a diner i spent about 90% of my high school days in, and putting in a starbucks.
fuck the world. seriously. fuck it.
That would require some serious KY
Hospital-grade
No lube. The world doesn’t deserve it.
I’m sure the owners of diners that are stock full of brooding teens drinking endless cups of coffee really want to be working til they die.
That wasn’t me. I was mashing down greasy eggs and bacon and figuring out how to smoke cigarettes with out barfing.
Maybe this will cheer you up:
https://mic.com/articles/171881/white-man-kills-black-man-in-nyc-then-new-york-daily-news-blasts-victim-s-arrest-record?utm_source=policymicTBLR&utm_medium=movement&utm_campaign=social#.3LVOfTTBP
My favorite hole in the wall restaurant just changed owners.
The old place was run by this old Cuban lady. Sweet heart. She would serve run at like 10am if you asked her in terrible Spanish. The food was fantastic and it was like our hidden spot. I would take customers there all the time for lunch and not once did a person not leave there impressed. It honestly felt like you were sitting in Cuba, waiting for a drunk Hemingway to stumble into your table…
She ended up selling to a Honduran family that just came to the states so the menu is all different and the rum and coffee ain’t the same.
Not nearly as bad as your situation. Fucking Starbucks in the worst. For the life of me, I don’t know why people pay extra for burnt coffee and enough sugar and sweeteners to make that drink the same as eating a fucking big Mac.
I love watching an Unnecessary Panic Three Attempt.
Come on Kentucky! Do it Ashley Judd! Do it for the horses! Do it for my bracket!!!
We still have not totally wrecked brackets?
http://www.yashuntafun.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/7110427649_3943a5eaa9_oe.jpg
I really don’t want to touch the thumb button after that…
Fun Facts about Masanobu
– He has at least one two hour jack off training sessions each day while his GF cooks breakfast
– He has a girlfriend
– His girlfriend is fine with has jacking off habits as she herself isn’t too into having sex
– She will happily time him
– He has held the title since 2008
I’d ask what the rules are, but I don’t think I want to know.
Too much “Gotham”
“GO COCKS!!! YEE HAW!!!”
Charles Barkley looks less bad on this live halftime show than those commercials he’s doing with Spike and Samuel L. Shouldn’t the editing process help with the bloated carcass look?
The new movie looks pretty good.
the refs sure are fucking KY in the ass
Can’t wait to see what THAT is going to do to our Google Search results.
You bastard.
Worth noting that fucking in the ass is something that Kentucky residents are familiar with, it’s how they avoid getting their cousins pregnant.
Or their pigs……
With KY involved, shouldn’t that make it easier to take?
Kentucky rebounds like Rick Pitino makes love: sloppy, rushed, and disappointing
This mesmerizes me.
For a second I forgot which team Calipari is coaching, then Kentucky missed a free throw.
“I’ll take my chances.”
– Andy Reid
That ball had no business going in the basket.
I mean, look at how it was dressed.
“I don’t care how it’s dressed, I DON’T WANT IT.”
– Andy Reid, petulantly staring at a salad.
I had something for this….
“Kentucky just needs to manufacture some more baskets.”
Basket manufacturing numbers have gone up in the last two months, highest they’ve ever been. Highest in 8 years I’ve been told. Huge.
Manufacturing baskets sounds more like a North Carolina kind of thing, though their economy hasn’t really specialized in that kind of work since the 1860’s.
Good News/Bad News…
I’m soon going to have more free time to write for DFO!!!
That’s both, btw.
I don’t care; that scene was fucking funny. Thanks for the reminder.
….AND GONE!!!!!!
So… Sexy Wednesday?
Seems redundant.
Most exciting part of this tournament has been seeing if I can mute the streaming player before the commercial officially starts, at which point all player controls are disabled. ALL CITIZENS MUST ATTEND THE TWO MINUTES COMMERCIAL! WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT PEACE WITH COKE! FREEDOM IS SLAVERY!
North Carolina is making a strong argument in favor of me taking a nap.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e4dce740ef757ec362ac4e80425766af/tumblr_olfy65g9Eb1snghrzo1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3f9a43dafafa181580d881726943050e/tumblr_ogyoz9hoIC1urmckio4_1280.png
I think that’s a translation error and it’s supposed to say, “4. Turn your Armenian into a bear chair.”
speaking of bears, what’s Buddy been up to lately??
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7c0d1fca83dea939012fd5098b654782/tumblr_on78qnRoe01va9eqqo1_1280.jpg
Wrong image, but it still works in a weird way.
I get why Trump was elected now…
“I wash myself with a rag on a stick.”
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lize9s0RX31qh59n0o1_400.gif
I can understand the use of a squeegee; a standard washcloth will just get lost.
Summer fashions are hitting Saudi Arabia…
Should be safer than asphalt color…
So Kentucky is going with the controversial “Air Ball” offense.
Let’s see how this works long term…
http://68.media.tumblr.com/adfe4974555bf0a21d2235d3c30d64bb/tumblr_on2v42U3B91tbcweeo1_400.gif
That spread gun from Contra can really do some damage!
Breakfast burritos at 2 p.m.? This is weekending done right.
My bracket (artist’s conception):
So it’s fucked, I take it.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/f0248be1-c108-40c4-a914-edc85a249dc8/gif
Fuck ’em up, feline!
Damage report!
Just some split ends, sir.
Aww!! Such an adorable murder machine!
I dislike both Kentucky and North Carolina so I hope they both lose somehow.
“COCKS ARE IN!!!”
http://2damnfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Flexible-Girl-Limbos-On-a-Funny-Japanese-Game-Show.gif
What’s interesting is that try as I might, I can’t sexualize this performer.
You don’t have to; it’s a game show.
I’ll send you personalized instructions how via email.
Holee molee.
Step by step?
Is Man in the High Castle worth watching on Amazon?
“Nah, man.”
– Josh Gordon
My advice to kids? Find someone who loves you as much as Josh Gordon loves weed.
http://hilounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Captain-Dee.gif
If it’s ok with you, I have chosen a slightly different order to those words…minus “Josh Gordon”.
So far, so good.
Eh. I’m spoiled by the book (yes I’m one of those assholes, shut up) but it’s not bad. It’s a little show in the first season but maintains a good pace through the second.
I’m starting S1, E1 now.
I dunno man. I have a hard time with stories where I need to learn a whole new world.
Eli is holding out hope for a sequel called “The Man in the Bouncy Magic Castle”.
This is as good a coaching job as I’ve ever seen. Loving this Final Four (except the next entrant). So much NEW BLOOD.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f3b618591d3a0b32cd17057c74e48b0c/tumblr_okryvsQHzb1snghrzo1_500.jpg
something something cocks insert themselves something something
OK, NOW I CAN HEAR IT!
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/17-reporter-hit-in-head-with-soccer-ball.gif
Alright, now Kentucky has to come through for this basketball hard-on to last longer than four hours.
oh please oh please
http://hilounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Dee-Carousel.gif
love how they keep defending, instead of giving up the quick, easy bucket. SOOOOOO many coaches should be taking notes from this madman.
http://hilounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Sleeping-Pills.gif