vacations.  As you may or may not know, I am getting on a big plane today which will take me across the Atlantic for a nice week and a half of not-working. Whenever one goes on vacations, there are always…. questions.

1- Am I getting laid on this vacation?

2- Is it weird that married people ask question #1 above?

3- Why is vacation sex such a big deal?

4- Is it because you’re doing it with random strangers that you are never going to see again?

5- Isn’t that just the same as if you were living in Los Angeles or New York?

6- Is your significant other upset that you answered YES to question #4?

7- What is up with those people that are married or in relationships yet decide to vacation separately?

8- If you really don’t like the same things, why the fuck are you married?

9- Is it because of the children?

10- Don’t you think they know already and you’re not fooling anyone?

11- Are you that much of an idiot that you don’t think it’s weird that milk would be home-delivered in this day and age?

12- Or should you be more concerned with delivery men?

13- Then again, they’re on a schedule and most of them look like this guy, don’t they?

14- If you are a delivery man and you see that you have a package delivery from Adam and Eve dot com, are you secretly hoping the lady of the house is hot and home and that she greets you in a see-through negligee and that she invites you in to see if what she ordered works?

15- Have you ever seen a delivery lady?

16- Why is this delivery girl a Dale Jr. fan?

17- Kinda takes the fantasy away, don’t it?

18- How is it possible that a Google Image Search for “UPS girl” gave this as the sixth result?

19- Is that one of Low Commander’s Photoshops?

20- Is that Germany or France?

21- Are you even paying attention to what I’m typing?

22-  I could type out my passport number, social security number, home address and you wouldn’t even notice, right?

23- Wait, where was I?

24- Oh yeah, does it look like this girl is on vacation?

25- You think she might be headed to Spain, like me?