TGISF…aka Your “The Pimp is Too Apathetic to Think of a Theme This Week” Sexy Friday Open Thread

OK, so for the first time in like….wait, how long have I been the Pimp of [DFO] again???? ….  Anyway, I’m too lazy to go check, but let’s call it six months.  Close enough.

But yeah, for the first time in six-ish months, I’ve begun typing out this week’s TGISF without yet having decided on a theme.  And it’s not as if I don’t have themes available.  No shit.  I’ve got a little legal pad here on my desk where I jot notes down so my damaged gray matter doesn’t forget stuff.  One whole page is dedicated to theme ideas to fall back on for TGISF when there aren’t any timely themes to seize upon.  I mean, it is the offseason and summer is coming.  I can’t do baseball every damned week, can I?

No, availability of theme ideas is not the problem.  It’s indecision and apathy.  My own apathy, to be clear.  I frankly just don’t care this week.  When we get to the part of tonight’s program where the sexy is supposed to be….well I guess we’ll see what happens.

Also, let it be known that I still hate Brocky.  Jerk.

Yes, I might be a little bit obsessed.  Shut up.

This Is Why If There is a Hell, I’ll be on the Express Elevator Down

So I was told late last week by a hospice nurse that my paternal grandfather (who just turned 99 in March and is a hateful person in general and also a huge racist) was on his deathbed.  He would not survive 48 hours, she told me.  Well that stupid **** owes me one dead racist.  Dude woke up a day and a half later and started talking (stupid racist shit as usual) and asking for food.  Like no lie, I’m trying to find a legal loophole to sue the hospice people.  SHE PROMISED ME A DEAD RACIST ASSHOLE AND SHE DID NOT DELIVER!!!!

No lie, when I saw him up, conscious, and taking in nourishment, I was totes disappoint.  And I don’t even feel badly, FWIW.  Old hateful fucker needed to die years ago…he just can’t figure out how to takez his moneh’s with him.  Not to mention how to continue being an irritating prick once he’s dead.  But I’m sure he’ll find a way.

So yeah….I’m going to hell (allegedly).

Speaking of irritating pricks…..

I also yelled at one of my other family members this week because she decided to be an irritating prick at the wrong time too.  Don’t walk into my house and start talking your pathetic drivel about the University* of North Carolina’s latest ill gotten national championship.  I really didn’t think she was THAT stupid.  A school which, as I had to remind her….SHE DIDN’T EVEN GET ACCEPTED INTO!!!!!  Jeebus.  And then no fewer than three other family members called me later to bitch me out for being mean to her.  No shit.

Guess what they all got told?  If she’s no smarter than that then she got what was coming to her.  And if the rest of you don’t get it by now, you’ll soon get the same.  I’m done with this family’s dumbass redneck bullshit.  Goodbye.

Easter egg hunt should be interesting next weekend.

Meh…Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

Anybody Give a Shit About Sports This Week?

So, should I shirk my open thread duties for a 3rd straight week, or should we talk about sports?  Yeah, I’m undecided too.  Meh, screw it….

The Masters is in full swing and folks are going down like it’s the US Open.  Danny Willett (he’s the defending Masters Champion btw, you heathens) really fucked up today.  Oh well, so did everybody else.  It won’t get fun again until Sunday.

Baseball is back in case you hadn’t noticed.  2 games in and Baltimore is still perfect.  I love April.  June will suck, though.  Also, Mad Bum did this on opening day….

Giants still lost to the DBacks tho.  So sad….

Friday MLB Schedule

What’s going on in Hockey?  Well lookit that…Caps have clinched #1 seed in the East and another President’s Trophy.  Unfortunately, the Pens are still right on their tail and it’ll probably end the same as last year.  Moving on…..

Friday NHL Schedule  Wow really?  Only one game?  Wow NHL, way to maximize your visibility.

Basketball?  Nah.  But here’s their schedule tonight if you care.

Under A Month to Go

Can’t freaking wait.  But I am getting increasingly irritated that I can’t bring my own board….

GET OFF MY DRUMKIT FLEA!!!!!!!!!

Well fuck you too, dicknose.  But yeah, that deserves a double shot…

Sexy Mexy Update

So I know none of you cares, but if I don’t do these updates/promos for ISoG, ballsofsteelandfury beats me with a garden hose.  Which is actually not terrible, but still.  He does it out of anger and I don’t like that.  His stress levels are too high already.

But later tonight, the final sub-episode of Nogales Week!!!!! goes live.  Remember last week when I told you there were nekkid celebs?  Well that happens tonight.  And if you’re up to date on your reading assignments, you know who it’s gonna be already.  I also get beat up a little more by Leticia, but only after she saves my ass (and balls’ ass too!!).  There’s also a buttload of sex (no, not like that) and Dave ends up with a crisis of his own.  Which leads me to a crisis myself.  It’s…kinda weird.  But hopefully funny.

Next week, after we’ve finally found our way out of Mexico, we begin to leave a wake of destruction in Arizona.  But I can’t tell you too much about that yet.  For now, let’s just say you shouldn’t ever let a Mexican drive in southern Arizona.  ‘Nuff said.  Also….NAWT RAYCESS!!!!!!!

Tonight at Midnight EDT, then Monday at 11am normal time.

Apathetic Sexy

Yeah so, screw themes this week I guess.  I’m just gonna post some random Sexy and you’re gonna deal with it.  I have faith in you….

 

 

I happen to know this photographer personally. Sadly I do not know this model. I smell an email inquiry upcoming!!!!

 

Now this lovely lady I do know. I don’t know her really well, but we’ve spoken. Gemma Atkinson is her name and she’s a British model/actress. She’s very sweet, but my take is she doesn’t like me much. So she’s smart, too.

OK, I guess now I have to look thru my own photos.  WhyTF don’t I take pictures of naked, or even half naked girls?  That seems way more fun, don’t you think?  Instead I take pictures of all this nature crap.  Meh.

Here we go….

– Daffodil Lament –

This song goes with it too….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDGdtukIxUk

So yeah, that’s it I guess.

In spite of my overriding apathy, still love ya’s.  As far as you know.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Captain Freedom should’ve come here.

litre_cola

You told me earlier today that you hated me waiting for my medicinal to arrive.

laserguru

I’m willing to share my medicine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWxqQG4t2Dg

Wakezilla

Good evening

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laserguru

Howdy! Wie gehts?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The best part of Hail, Caesar!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVQ0JFzXMgY

Unsurprised

Hannah Ferguson can’t stop twerking (the gif wouldn’t do it justice and I’m not wasting my time splitting up the clips into discrete gifs). https://gfycat.com/TimelyWebbedChimpanzee

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

The same thing that happens to everything else?

Wakezilla

“notice how the beams didn’t melt?”

–Pete Carroll–

Unsurprised

Has he opined on the I-85 fire and collapse yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

I think it’s funny tWBS writes all this text like anyone reads the TGISF post.

Senor Weaselo

Evening all. I see we’re listening to the soulful sounds of The Cranberries?

Unsurprised

/DROOL FLIES OUT

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Croooow

Russell Westbrook has clinched a season-average triple double. That’s pretty damn impressive.

Mr. Ayo

How is he not MVP?

Croooow

He’d get my vote. I’m not sure the Thunder would even have 20 wins right now without him.

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ!
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Mr. Ayo

If you’re happy and you know it clap it your hands?

Unsurprised

we begin to leave a wake of destruction in Arizona. But I can’t tell you too much about that yet.

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-58290-stop-my-penis-can-only-get-so-awjF.gif

Unsurprised

I miss Buddy.
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Brocky

lightning fast life advice:

reliable midsize car, around 13 grand, possibly a hatchback. Go

I’m just gonna post a picture of the homer so you guys don’t

http://davidmoorephoto.com/storage/cache/images/000/975/1I2B9665,large.2x.jpg?1372317810

Unsurprised

I’ve had two Accords. My next is more likely than not to be one (preferably as new as possible), just because it’s a good car. It’s reliable, it’s comfortable for my 6’2″ fat ass, and it’s cheap to maintain.

Mr. Ayo

Mazda 3

Brocky

additional question:

are foreign makes (i.e. toyota, honda, really that much more reliable than say, chevy? or have american cars caught up?

Unsurprised

As I understand, they have. In part because you’re just as likely to get a foreign-made “American” car as an American-made “foreign” car now.

Brocky

really? because the sonic caught my eye the other day, but i hear so much about them breaking down as much as fords do…

Unsurprised

That could just be the Sonic. Some models just seem prone to be lemons. I don’t really know anything beyond that.

Sill Bimmons

Built back when VW wasn’t fucking up Audi yet, real AWD with a locking center diff, 3rd row seating, will be cheap to get an aftermarket warranty on.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/2002-Audi-A6-Avant-/192140864269?hash=item2cbc7ceb0d:g:rYgAAOSwKOJYKlcZ&vxp=mtr

Unsurprised

I just had some fish stir fry, but I could still consume an entire cow right now.

I am disappointed how this savage uses his hand for the second bone and not the first one, but … eh.
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Unsurprised

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WCS

Daaaawwwwwww…..!

Who’s a good doggie?!

Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“At that moment be began to feel that perhaps the date was taking a bad turn.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I’d love to climb Ireland, but …

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Mrrrrrwwww
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Unsurprised

Heya
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

There’s a tort called Wrongful Birth. I think tWBS has a claim for Wrongful Life.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Is there some way I can have grandkids without having kids? Anyway, I’m gonna go sleepies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some people call it kidnapping; I prefer affection acquisition.

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

So glad the Cubs aren’t at home, renting a car tonight for the points and it’s hard enough to find parking in my neighborhood without additional stupid baseball restrictions. Totally going to the Korean spa in the suburbs tomorrow, and HMart, fuck yeah!