Your “Poor Poor Pitiful TAWMMMY” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• LeGarrette Blount has signed a one-year deal with the Eagles.
  • Because the Patriots tendered him as a UFA before May 9, using an obscure rule Belichick is famous for finding, the Patriots will end up getting a compensatory pick from the Eagles in next year’s draft.
  • Lots of Eagles sites, like Bleeding Green Nation, are already using his old Ducks photos to show how good a 30-year-old back will look in Eagles colours.
    • as well as noting this signing spells the end for Ryan Mathews in Philly.
  • WIP Twitter seems more focused on the Sixers draft options. Luckily.
  • Also, never forget:

• Derek Carr, scheduled to make $977,519 in 2017, the final year of his rookie contract, is looking to get a long-term deal signed before training camp starts.
  • Rumours are that he’d be looking at Andrew Luck money, which averages $25 million per season.
    • Also, he wants it back-loaded in order to save money once the team moves to Nevada, where there is no state income tax.
• Plenty of sites are reporting that Gisele told “CBS This Morning” that Tommy had himself a brain-owwie last season, which is news to the League since Brady hasn’t been listed as having a concussion since 2003. Oopsie.
  • He’s had plenty of reports, but nothing head-related.
  • The League may investigate, on the level of investigating the Seahawks for underreporting Richard Sherman’s knee problems.
    • I bet Rog would love to snap another pick from the Pats.

Tom Brady's reported injuries over the past 4 seasons. Zero concussions listed. pic.twitter.com/jNPvqcWHyr

— David P. Woods (@davidpwoods) May 17, 2017

• The owners are still debating whether to reduce overtime to 10 minutes.
  • They are also proposing to allow teams to bring back a second player from the IR.
• Bob Marley’s grandson Nico, a linebacker at Tulane, has signed an undrafted free agent contract with the [Redacteds].
  • So, maybe now would be a good time to revisit the League’s stance on the ganja?
  • Also, start the clock on pictures of Dan Snyder in a dreads wig/hat combo.
• Finally, it appears Cleveland’s draft hobo has moved to SoCal, as he convinced Tre Boston to sign with the Chargers.
  • He took the form of a guy begging for change at a gas station, on whom Boston bestowed $100.
  • Over/under it was Ryan Leaf or Todd Marinovich?

In honour of the awful existence that must be Tom Brady’s, ladies & gentlemen – Mr. Warren Zevon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TbfQPRgcS8

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Game 3: Penguins at Senators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
• NBA:
  • Game 1: Cavaliers at Celtics – 8:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
• MLB:
  • Blue Jays at Braves – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
  • Red Sox at Cardinals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN

Watching Warren Zevon videos led me down a Linda Ronstadt rabbit hole. I keep forgetting, given today’s female-led pop dreck, how good a performer she was. Here’s a link to the song listings for her Greatest Hits albums, an arbitrary list of her top-10 songs, and I’ll include her greatest number below.

HEY PLOW KING – SAVE SOME FOR ME!