Seriously, I can’t be the only one miffed, nay, irked, that the Stanley Cup Final goes in June at this point. In what world is there ice in fucking June? Other than, you know, the Southern Hemisphere since it’s winter there. (For what it’s worth, I also have beefs with MLB because the World Series, you know, October baseball, ends in November, and with the NCAA because March Madness ends in April.)

Anyway, tonight’s Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final Ice Super Bowl between the Preds and Pens. Sorry, WCS, but neutral rooting interests probably have to root for the Ice Titans, and non-neutral rooting interests (read: I) probably have to do the same (read: Sidney Crosby et al can go fuck themselves with a rusty piece of rebar. Or a piece for each of them. I’m less picky about that part.) Though like Rob I’ll also take Pens in 6. Sorry neutrals, we can’t have nice things, see this whole year. It will be more fun to watch than the inevitable slog that led up to Cavs-Warriors and to be honest I dooooon’t caaaaaare at this point.

NFL News
Richard Sherman made good on his promise to a HS student that if she got her grades up and made honor roll senior year he’d give her a scholarship.

No news or talks between Michael Vick and the Atlanta Falcons. Vick hopes to sign a one-day contract to retire as a Falcon.
-The Falcons will find a way to squander it.

Other Sports News
Tiger Woods was arrested on a DUI charge early Monday morning near his home in Jupiter, FL. Woods was later released on his own recognizance.
-Didn’t his fall from grace initially start with a hooked drive?

After his retirement from NPR last month and Blax’s thoughts on his legacy, Frank Deford passed away yesterday at the age of 78.

As you may know, it’s Memorial Day, the day where we accidentally thank people for their service (not that we shouldn’t, and for all those who served, I would like to extend that thanks), even though Memorial Day is to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice and died in the service of their country. And fortunately those we get to thank in person are still with us.

It’s also the unofficial start of summer, so if you think we ain’t gon grill, oh we gon grill, bullee dat. If we haven’t all been grilling before then, of course. I’m admittedly not the world’s greatest chef, my forte (if you could say I have one) is sauces and seasonings. And mixing as many sodas as I can with a Coke Freestyle machine in one cup as long as it tastes decent. (It’s a combination of Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb, and Mello Yello. And cherry variants.) We also gon drank, but it’s a day that ends in Y, so no change there!

It’s also (also) the unofficial quarter-pole…

…I said, unofficial quarter-pole of the MLB season, so let’s see how some wiseass prognosticator’s doing! Let’s see, Boston’s red-hot (boooo…) but the Yanks are in first place (yaaaa… ow, who throws a spork?) The Twinkies are surprisingly good, and the Royals’ rotation was okay but the offense couldn’t hit a lick for long enough that I still look okay for my third-place pick! And my coin flip picking the Astros over the Rangers looks pretty good too! The NL East looks about right except the Mets are worse than I expected (my opinion?). The Central, look at the Beers putting up a fight against the Small Bears thanks in large part to Eric Thames. And the NL West? Who had the Colorado Rockies with the best record in the National League, because I sure as hell didn’t! And Madison Bumgarner getting hurt from a dirtbike accident I couldn’t have predicted to means there goes my wild-card. I guess I’ll be back to look in at the All-Star break.

So since it’s Memorial Day, our topic of the night is war movies. Because they’ve probably been on the History Channel and AMC all weekend. I went and surveyed the clubhouse about their favorite war movies, and here’s what I got!

Balls: Shaving Ryan’s Privates (I would probably not look that one up at work.)
Low Commander: The trailer for Pearl Harbor (and that’s how we got on the Bill Parcells watch list!)
Blax: Fog of War
Rikki: Letters from Iwo Jima (even if not his favorite, because of how good it is)
BFC: The Guns of Navarone
Don_T: Catch-22 (“Yeah the novel’s unbeatable BUT ALAN ARKIN JESUS CHRIST WHY ISN’T THERE A NOBEL PRIZE FOR CASTING”)
tWBS: Platoon (yes, even if it is clichéd)
BeerguyRob: The first half of Full Metal Jacket and all of The Dirty Dozen
Maestro: Apocalypse Now
Yeah Right: A Bridge Too Far (“Accept no substitutes.”)

The ones of these that I’ve seen I entirely agree with. (No, I have not seen Shaving Ryan’s Privates.)

Except for Pearl Harbor of course.

But my personal favorite war movie has a who’s who of stars, whether present (at the time) or future. And Don Rickles (may he rest in peace). That would be Kelly’s Heroes, even if you could argue it’s a heist movie disguised as a WWII movie considering it’s about a generally disillusioned platoon going off to steal a metric shit-ton of gold (yes, the movie did come out during Vietnam, how’d you guess). Clint Eastwood may play the title character Pvt. Kelly, a former lieutenant who was scapegoated and demoted for a failed mission, but it’s Donald Sutherland who makes the movie as tank commander Oddball.

So that’s our conversation piece in addition to the ice footy. What’s your favorite war movie?

What’s on tonight?

NHL:
Stanley Cup Final Game 1: NSH at PIT, 8E, NBC

MLB:
DET at KC, 7E, ESPN

GO DO THE THING!