DFO Radio: Superheroes

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

A pair of radio professionals are busy setting up the studio for the afternoon’s show.  Their work is interrupted in a flash of teal as a costumed man dashes through the office.  He is carrying a plastic bag from Savon Pharmacy, in which there appears to be a set of clothing.  The man looks around the office frantically, spots the triangular blue sign of the men’s room, and races inside.

PRODUCER: Who the hell was that?

CONNOR, THE INTERN: Jairus Byrd?

DJ 3000: CAMERON ARTIS-PAYNE?

The PRODUCER’s cellphone pings and he pulls it out of his pocket to glance at it.

PRODUCER: Well whoever it was, I hope he’s got a silky-smooth radio voice and can spin records.  Cause Von Miller just cancelled. Said someone poured Gatorade in his gas tank.

DJ 3000: IF I MIGHT SUGGEST…

— [bathroom door flies open] —

A proud figure appears in the doorway.  He is wearing gym clothes and looking rather disheveled, as though he dressed hurriedly. 

BLAINE GABBERT: Good afternoon, citizens.

GABBERT crosses the office, tossing the football end over end to himself.  On the third toss he drops the football, which bounces sideways and ends up under a desk.  GABBERT attempts to play it off as intentional.  

PRODUCER: Oh.  Hi.  Are you, uh, here for Request Line?

BLAINE GABBERT: The news reached me that you were in dire straits and in need of a host.

PRODUCER: How’s that possible?  We only just found out the news ourselves.

BLAINE GABBERT: Oh, I, um, have a friend in law enforcement.

PRODUCER: I see…

BLAINE GABBERT: I understand the time is short.  So short, in fact, that you probably don’t have any time to ask questions.

CONNOR, THE INTERN: He’s not wrong.

PRODUCER: Okay, sure, whatever.  Get in there.

GABBERT settles into the recording booth.  THE PRODUCER counts down and points.

BLAINE GABBERT: Hi folks!  Some of you might know me as mild-mannered NFL Quarterback Blaine Gabbert.  Others might…wait, I mean, ALL of you know me as mild-mannered NFL Quarterback Blaine Gabbert.  This week’s topic for Request Line is “Superheroes”.  I guess regular heroes are okay too.  Please give me a call and let me know what you want to hear!  I’ll get us started with a song about a friend I mean colleague I mean we’ve never actually met but I’m sure we’d get along great if we ever ran into each other some night.

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Bloody Lethal
Gratliff

Giving us one of the best sitcom one episode gimmicks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTOy9Xt5Nuk

scotchnaut

Oh. My. God. Please listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjZg8PG-3to

SonOfSpam

That was real, wasn’t it? I mean, the guy really meant all that. I kinda want those 4 minutes of my life back, but it was also kinda amazing.

scotchnaut

Red Sovine is as real as it gets-check out his most famous tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSMTW2aKQs8

SonOfSpam

Holy shit. I assume he co-wrote The Christmas Shoes too.

Bloody Lethal
scotchnaut

When you go on vacation with your grandparents way back in the day this shows up on the 8 track

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnnHprUGKF0

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Son of Spam started it with the waterworks…

comment image

(Rise Against’s new album, “Wolves” came out today.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaTqrdZ_cgQ

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
scotchnaut

My 14 year and I were talking about whether this song qualified not 10 minutes ago!

Bloody Lethal

One, if not both of these, has to.

scotchnaut

Allow me to stretch out the parameters a wee bit…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6Wn5kvqb6o

SonOfSpam

Gonna count this one. (Shut up…YOU’RE crying)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmUP1gp6cTs

scotchnaut

I fucking LOVED this series as a kiddling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb4C7vSByMM

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Still love it. I’m just happy no one’s ever tried to “reimagine” it, since their imaginations would likely involve gritty dialogue and massive CGI destruction.

And sky-holes. Definitely sky-holes.

SonOfSpam

Whatever happened to Joey Fucking Scarbury? He must’ve got all the tail.

Brick Meathook
Bloody Lethal

Nice! And the other hero that was John Henry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ2ByoMBq6k

Bloody Lethal
scotchnaut
Brick Meathook

Here’s a collection of the awesome background music from the original Spiderman cartoon series. It’s wild surf-jazz and was all stock music from the KPM Library in London. The series producers had almost NO budget yet did amazing stuff within those limits. (you can scroll anywhere in the hour-long link below and the music is great)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCF8JU30gXI

ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome!

Bloody Lethal
litre_cola

LCSS you and I have very similiar taste in music.

sunrisesunrise
scotchnaut

You have all dropped the ball-so sayeth Dayman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzaVd6zl2bA

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

King Hippo

Nuh-uh. I played Dayman like #3 overall…

sunrisesunrise
sunrisesunrise
Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

The work you’re doing today is good.

SonOfSpam

Thank you! This is one more reason I like Fridays.

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Ugh, sorry about this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5WJJVSE_BE

SonOfSpam

comment image

SonOfSpam

DOUBLE SHOT from The Kinks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_QkUVZGPc

SonOfSpam

The scene from Footloose where they play chicken with tractors? Yeah, that always makes me think about heroism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWcASV2sey0

Sep
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

A little on the nose, don’t you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYDAW2_8h7M

litre_cola

such a fun band to see live.

SKA ISNT DEAD its just resting.

laserguru
SonOfSpam

“Don’t be a henchman,” or else the Automatic Man will give you a DOUBLE SHOT to the head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juu9kXky2_o

laserguru
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“My name is Low Commander, I’m a lesser known character.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP_nc8bS76I

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t properly put into words how happy I am that this popped into my head. Mostly because I hope it’s going to be stuck in all your heads now. Muahahahahaha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cdFuMgMkBM

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“FLASH AHHH-wwwww, tWBS beat me to it…”

King Hippo

this remains the only superhero movie I can recall enjoying, FWIW. And definitely a cool tune.

Sep

This guy looks like a less derpy Big Daddy Drew

King Hippo

A master of karate and friendship for everyone…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3aFSAT4R08

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks…..?