Your “Why Can’t I Quit You?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Notes:

  • Branden Albert now wants to unretire & play for the Jags.
    • News he might have to repay a $3.4 million signing bonus will do that to a fella.
    • Jags management instead are keeping him on the “reserve/retired” list, having moved him over from the more vague “left team” list”.
      • Also, their 2017 first-round pick was used on Albert’s position, so he had no bargaining power to force a new deal.
  • Sheldon Richardson keeps taking shots at Brandon Marshall like a spurned lover.

“That whole situation was sticky because we lose and he did little things that were drama queenish…[snip] If he can’t come out to the media and tell them what he did and how he actually quit on this team well before the season was over, well that’s all in itself.”

  • Jay Cutler will not play in the Dolphins first pre-season game versus the Falcons, as he gets used to fumbling snaps under a different center.
    • Although his 51-51 record with the Bears makes him more of a Jeff Fisher guy, Cutler enjoyed his career best QBR in 2015 under Gase.
  • One-third of the Titans is up for sale, as Bud Adams’ daughter Susie Adams Smith is selling her stake in KSA Industries, which includes one-third ownership of the Titans.
    • The League, the Adams family, and Goldman Sachs are “adamant” that this 1/3 does not provide a pathway to control of the franchise.
Unless you are willing to play along.

Finally, Spike Lee has announced he is promoting a rally for Colin Kaepernick on August 23rd. Because nothing makes you look more like a unifying influence on an organization than Spike Lee.

  • The “He Got (No) Game)” rally will be held outside NFL HQ at 345 Park Avenue.
  • Officially “a number” of civil rights groups are the ones doing the organizing. Because nothing says “sanctioned event” like spelling the guy you support’s name wrong.

There has been no response from the League, save the Ravens still really, probably, possibly kinda just maybe considering Kaep to back up Flacco in case His Eliteness is unable to start the season.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Yankees at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Cardinals at Royals – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Little League Baseball:
      • Southwest Regional semifinal – 8:00PM | ESPN2
  • Lucha:
    • WWE SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

As an FYI, NFL pre-season games will not get their own dedicated Open Threads, mostly due to scattered regional coverage. Plus, ONLY REAL GAMES GET REAL ANALYSIS.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

Leave a Reply

Notify of
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Redshirt. I have to ask What is with the My Little Pony fetish?

Redshirt
Member

Brony Fanbase:
99%: Reminds people of well written, acted cartons of 90s especially when compared to some shitty cartons of today and excellent writing, voice acting and storytelling.
1%: Furry, Bestiality Porn

Guess which one gets the press.

Gratliff
Member

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Do what you do. I might mock you but that is only because that is what I do with people I love

Redshirt
Member

Okay, Marc. No big deal. Its my fault. I watched YouTube of My Little Pony. Its a gateway drug.

If anything, I’m an example for others. Be careful when YouTubing, you might end up trapped in an atypical fanbase.

Oh, and Moondancer is best pony and Starlight Glimmer is a poor imitation of Sunset Shimmer.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

…you might end up trapped in an atypical fanbase.

Says the Bungals fan.
Hehehehe….sorry, sorry. 😛

Redshirt
Member

Uh, no. Though I became a fan in ’92 or ’94. Started following every game around ’97. To this day, I still don’t know why.

Redshirt
Member

I remembered! The Internet. I read about past Bengals seasons and then I started to watch games. They somehow beat Arizona in Week 1 and I’ve been damned ever since.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will learn what your edit means

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Again enjoy what you enjoy. I always enjoy you I like you.

Gratliff
Member

comment image

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Just couldn’t keep your box shut, huh, Pandora?

Don T
Member

Pshht. Half the demons are tracks from The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys.

Redshirt
Member

MFW reading about Mixon, Burfict and Jones in YRTS Bengals

http://i.imgur.com/fHs8QtZ.gif

Joliet Jake Delhomme
Member

Heading to the Vancouver Canadians game tonight. Thoughts?

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Labatt or Molson?

/may be out of beer right now

Joliet Jake Delhomme
Member

Wish they had some Tuesday cheap beer night like the Midwest league.

Gratliff
Member

Oh man. We are totes gonna nuke a country that is like 98% innocent bystanders.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Are we nuking them now? God damned stupidest plan ever. Fuck it whatever, Nukes can’t make it to Wisconsin

Redshirt
Member

Yup. The smart thing is to tell North Korea that if one armed nuclear weapon is fired, we will consider that an Act of War upon the United States of America and will respond with the goal of nothing but the destruction of the Government of North Korea.

Of course, that’s not what’s going to happen.

blaxabbath
Member

Eh – we’re gonna have to lay complete waste to NK anyways; might as well do it preemptively.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dear Republican friend. The country is not only saying they will bomb us but trying. Granted they really suck at it, but they keep trying.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Leaked footage from newly renamed Charlemango Mountain, NORAD HQ:

King Hippo
Member

on the bright side, the dominoes should take around 72 hours to fall before we’uns all ded

/so plenty of time to get SUPER CRUNK

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I knew I picked the wrong week to quit smoking weed.

litre_cola
Member

BLASPHEMY!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

“Quit” might be overstating the issue.
Let’s call it a break.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Are you two seeing other substances? What about the children? Won’t somebody think of the children?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

She caught me with Beer and Vodka in a torrid threesome.

litre_cola
Member

As long as it was consensual you are good.

litre_cola
Member

WHO IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE DOGS

Gratliff
Member

comment image

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Each time I hear this band, I’m disappointed more people don’t know about them.

litre_cola
Member

This was by far the best part of wyts today on Nippert Stadium,

“During the final game of the 1923 season with intrastate rival Miami University, UC player James Gamble Nippert sustained a spike wound injury. He died a month later of blood poisoning, reportedly due to having been infected by droppings left after a pre-game chicken race.”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

El H.D.H.‏ @El_HDH 6h6 hours ago

Literally named for a guy who died due to chicken shit.

We have reached Peak Bengals.

Redshirt
Member

What is the link to this? I’m wondering if this is a Bengal thing, Bearcat thing, Cincinnati thing, or if someone just doesn’t like Old Lady Nippert.

WCS
Member
Redshirt
Member

Huh. I’m thinking of a response to Dalton throwing one more pick (a whooping 8) and a terrible passing rating of 91.8 in spite of losing Jones, Sanu and having half a year of Green.

All I have so far is:

1. Go fuck yourself.
2. (TBD)
3. Go fuck yourself.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Counterpoint: He still looks like a ginger Satan. Or at the very least, some kind of gargoyle.

King Hippo
Member

HOLY SHIT! Bob Wade isn’t dead??

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I bet he would be if he wanders back into College Park.
/realizes that’s true for most people
//includes the emotionally dead

King Hippo
Member

ESPN has a 30 FOAR 30 on “why Balmer is such a shithole” apparently

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Is it a multi-parter?

Redshirt
Member

Mega Millions and Powerball Jackpots are close to a third of a billon dollars. That may be enough for a third of a NFL Franchise. If they miss tonight and tomorrow, then they will definitely be enough for it.

WCS
Member

Is this how you plan to fund your coup d-état of Mike Brown?

Also, which of the comments in Drew’s WYTS Bungles Edition was your’s?

Redshirt
Member

Yes. That was my plan in 2012 when Mega Million entered Bond-Villian-ian $1.5 Billion but some people in Illinois, Maryland and Kansas had to ruin it by winning.

WCS
Member

To be fair, people in Maryland and Kansas ruin a lot of things.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’d like to downvote this, but it’s true.
Plus wordpress won’t let me SO I GUESS I HAVE TO BE OK WITH THAT.

King Hippo
Member

you had Mike Brown at “fund”

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Tonight, in memory of Glen Campbell, I’m gonna’ get real drunk and forget my name.

scotchnaut
Member

[triggered]

-Tanya Tucker

WCS
Member

Tribute or not, isn’t that your normal Tuesday night routine, anyway?

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

I’m more of a bath salts guy these days. Bath salts and Jesus.

King Hippo
Member

Good quality fantasy footbaw name right there

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going to buy gummi bears. This one is actually true unlike anything in the reviews

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going to buy gummi bears. This one is actually true unlike anything in the reviews

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why is this both uneditable and double?

scotchnaut
Member

You’re hammered?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Like a little bit drunk. But not really. The site did it.

Wakezilla
Member

Maple Football news:

Johnny Manziel says he’s considering going to the CFL. Hamilton currently holds his rights. Outside of Saskatchewan, there isn’t really a team out there that desperately needs a new starting QB. So, if he’s OK making $42K/season to hold the clip board, some team might take a flyer and trade for him.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Just call him Johnny Clipbouard?

scotchnaut
Member

Perhaps he thinks the coucaine is cheaper up north?

/or maybe he’s an attention whore?

King Hippo
Member

He don’t lie, he don’t lie, he don’t lie, eh?

scotchnaut
Member

nice

litre_cola
Member

Yessss

Wakezilla
Member

Question for the Bears fans: I”m thinking about my preview and I am wondering if Cutler a garbage time QB? 2 winning seasons indicates he was, but, I want to be fair.

On a related note, should I include pegging in my LOLphins preview?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

His stats weren’t inflated in garbage time, if that’s what you’re asking. He just wasn’t throwing as many screen passes in the fourth quarter of losing games.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Cutler does not give a fuck about fans but loved playing. Played through multiple injuries. Best arm they ever had. Go fuck yourself old Bears fans.

Don T
Member

Cutler slightly frowns on warm+ taeks. “Whateveren…” whispered the wind.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Beats Jerry hearing from the wind.
comment image

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have a problem that I want to defend Cutler regardless of the moment. How about 9 of 11 of you not getting injured by week 3… Ok I don’t care that much. Still fuck yourselves Bears defense.

wpDiscuz