Your Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Shall we call it a double-header? Let’s. Starved as I am for competitive football, I’ll take a ‘first half and a bit’ of starters against starters for the only time until the regular season. I do hope that those of you affected by the hurricane are ensconced somewhere with loved ones by your side. It’s difficult to relate to here because 1. it’s inland Canada 2. it’s sunny and pleasant at the moment and I lack any sort of imagination. To The Games!

Chi/Ten: At one Bears site that I read they’re mulling over Mitch Trubisky’s nickname-to-be. “Tru” and “Biscuit” have been offered up. So close guys! C’mon, put it together! The Truth Biscuit will be frolicking with the first team late in the first half/start of the second which means that many a fan will have his pants down around his ankles and will be breathing even more heavily than usual. Rb Jordan will get some run as well after recovering from a scratched cornea. Mularkey has waffled on the topic of whether or not rb Murray will play today. I figure the team would be better off having the carries split evenly between DeMarco and second year guy Derrick Henry. I like that kid. But unless the former gets banged up Mularkey will run him into the ground like he did last year and then wonder to himself why the ground game isn’t as effective towards the end of the year. Oh well.

Cin/Was: Speaking of youngsters, wr John Ross (he of the gaudy 4.22 40 time) will see the field for the first time. Does he have hands? I have no idea, all I hear about are his legs. I’m also curious about this rb Mixon lad whom the Cincy faithful are just dying to see wrest the job away from Jeremy Hill. Washington lost both starting wr’s from last year in Garcon and Jackson. They’ve been replaced/upgraded (?) by Josh Doctson and Terrelle Pryor. Their added height should help qb Cousins’ effectiveness in the red zone. Inside the 20 Kirk was completing just 45% of his passes-good for 22nd in the league. Cousins need only look at the tape of division peer Eli in order to learn how to misfire on the corner fade.

Well, my fellow typing gremlins-shall we begin?

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King Hippo

Hope they remember to keep Sandusky out of the prison rec room today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Is Vlad!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So not a catch?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s get the instant replay.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He needs to stick his neck out and take a chance.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No he can’t. It’s written too low.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Meh, happens every ten minutes on the floor of every KFC restaurant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

When I lived in AZ, couldn’t get away from this commercial, FWIW.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnNG61EP88w

King Hippo

a down hath been touched!

King Hippo

or nyet??

King Hippo

MURRIKA! Love it or leave it, daggum libtards!!!111

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No 1-4???
Now I feel cheated.

King Hippo

and as to reading defenses…”I was assured there would be no reading?” – Truth B., Chicago, IL

King Hippo

cocaine’s a helluva drug

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“No butt stuff.”

-Rex the Cat

theeWeeBabySeamus

He was asking for it.

blaxabbath

Terminator 2 in 3D is now playing in theaters.

I talked the Mrs out of Ingrid Goes West so we can enjoy T2JD3D this evening.

blaxabbath

Something tells me it won’t have the lasting power of T2.

King Hippo

if she is in the bathtub again, then I beg to differ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It will at least last 27 or less seconds.

Horatio Cornblower

I just realized that Piers Morgan may be an Arsenal fan and if that’s true I think I need to bail.

JustStopDude

There is no way in hell, the Windows 10 rapping teacher, real name Toney Jackson…

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Is at all popular with his students. By 4th grade, the kids are smart enough to just cringe at this dude. Also…the little bit they show him “rapping”…he is fucking terrible. Like white old guy terrible.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Great hair tho. I wish I could pull that off.

King Hippo

Is he the missing 4th, from “Tony Toni Tone”?

blaxabbath

My name is Tony and I’m here to say
I’m all about teaching students every day
The future, our hope, you will change the world
That’s why I’m teach the 4 R’s to all you boys and girls!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think you might be an old white guy.
No ofence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Weird because advertisers and marketing firms have always been truthful, accurate, with their fingers on the very pulse of culture which precludes them from using gimmicks or targeting a certain audience over the general population in an effort to sell to them, even though it makes it appear ridiculous to others. Wonders never cease.

blaxabbath

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK; two examples then…

Although that one blew up in their face much like the lead guy in a bukkake scene.

WCS

HAIL SHANK’LOR

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wasn’t that one a SHA’NKLOR?

WCS

I thought it was wide right. Whatever, I’m still in preseason mode, too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno. Is it TV view or kicker view?
Maybe we need to vote on this?

Dammit.

King Hippo

I think from the kicker’s perspective is the accepted norm

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope there are no sharp objects nearby in Don_T’s residence.

JustStopDude

Music City Fuck Up…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Giraffe tired already?
Damn you Wolven conditioning.
/looks at beer belly
//Yup

King Hippo

it’s a safety dance!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

You need to be punched in the head for that one.

King Hippo

A sentence I hear a lot.

/always deserved

ballsofsteelandfury

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SonOfSpam

My recollection is that air biscuits were “floated” a la Rivers.

laserguru

I wonder how long Cousins will play QB for the [*Redacted] s today. Just who is the [*Redacted] s back up anyway? You know, this is the first [*Redacted] s preseason game I’ve seen this year.

laserguru

awesome.

King Hippo

#RedactedsFacts
#Heritage

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it bad that I’m rooting for more giraffe downs and a biscuit immolation so that the GOAT fans calm the fuck down and give time to let this team suck as ordained for another season?

King Hippo

NOT a Biscuit Truther – Cameron Meredith. Glennon might as well be in <3 with him.

Don T

TEN’s got punting game bitches!

Don T

How ’bout that new Tits secondary?
/pictured
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Don T

Jesus Christ
?

King Hippo

yeah, you may wanna take up smoking MOAR. and/or crack.

Duchess

Quick someone find the episode of MTV’s the State with “Prison Break” where the warden has the wide open gates considered to be “off limits” as a personal favor to him

King Hippo

This is gonna be my fantasy QB duo. Mariota/Giraffe. Jeebus willing.

King Hippo

GiraffeDOWN WOO!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

He even looked 32% mobile on that one.

King Hippo

must be doing hot yoga or sommet

King Hippo

I’m not sure Los Titanicos’ defensing improved as much as DonT had hoped…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dat Giraffe can toss it. If only he could move.

King Hippo

He’s been eating the right leaves this week, yo!

King Hippo

“Became a basketball player there” DRINK!!

King Hippo

Teh Giraffe says FUCK YOUR BISCUIT TRUTHERS ,, smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Mariota is just sand-bagging it so’s I can win him at auction on Labour Day!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, it almost feels like Sunday, if I didn’t have to watch the Bears now and the Niners later.

theeWeeBabySeamus

[*Redacted] s /Bungles ain’t helping neither.

theeWeeBabySeamus

YAY AUTOREPLACE WORKS, INTERNET DAD BE A GENIUS, I WAS TESTING THAT SHIT AND IT WORKED!!!!!

King Hippo

Charissa Thompson. Mos’ def fucking Tony Gonzalez, who I would expect to be a generous and giving lover.

King Hippo

Big surprise – Matt Leinart likes the SC quartered back FOAR Heisman!

King Hippo

I love the “nationally televised fixtures that would be radioactive in the regular season” parade.

Fightin’ Tomsulas and SKOL! tonight, too.