Your “I’ve Got No Mind To Worry” Sunday Evening Open Thread

So, for most people it’s the middle day of the three-day Labour Day holiday weekend. Please look forward to the embarrassment Roger Goodell should hopefully feel this week as it’s brought out that – which Deadspin discovered late-Thursday – the League may have been specifically hunting Elliott.

The NFL’s lead investigator, Kia Roberts, reportedly testified that she had recommended Elliott not be suspended, only to find her recommendation missing from the league’s final report.

Per the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Roberts testified that after interviewing Tiffany Thompson, Elliott’s former girlfriend, she recommended that Elliott not be suspended by the league. [snip] But Roberts’s recommendation was not included in the NFL’s final report on the situation, and according to what a source told the Star-Telegram about today’s testimony, she was barred from a meeting with commissioner Roger Goodell to discuss the league’s discipline of Elliott.

This may be what got Jerry Jones so upset when the suspension was announced – because the investigator may have hinted to him that all was good. Then he found out about SHENANIGANS! and this fresh hell broke loose.

Please continue enjoying the last of your summer beers, for soon winter will bring us the heartiest of ales. On the summer beer front, for the life of me, I just don’t get buying cans of Radler. Ooh – look at you, #UpForWhatever. It’s a fucking glorified shandy, but with a manlier name, for the type of person that goes nose-up at a Bud Lime-a-rita because it’s too macro. I just want to smack the neckbeard & fedora right off their stupid head.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • West Virginia vs. Virginia Tech – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN3
    • Texas A&M at UCLA – 7:30PM | FOX
  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Yankees – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • NASCAR:
    • Bojangles’ Southern 500 – 6:00PM | NBCSN / TSN5
  • RAGE INDUCING HORSESHIT!
    • Do Your Job: Bill Belichick and the 2016 New England Patriots – 7:00PM | NBC (ET & PT)

Ahh, NBC’s Patriots love. I missed that bias…by avoiding Peter King’s columns. NOW THE SEASON CAN TRULY BEGIN!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nawt Catchable. IMHO. No PI.

Mr. Ayo

Goodell paid off the refs. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

ALXMAC

Ah crap. That wasn’t even catchable

WCS

1st and 30? NFL BLITZ!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well lookit them Bruins finally dropping down.
Gon’ be interesting.

King Hippo

I stand corrected, TAMU shall be punting, 2:45 left

ALXMAC

Aggie gonna Aggie.

Unsurprised

Guffawed out loud at this. https://twitter.com/calnite22/status/904523085977669632

“UCLA running game right now…. #TAMUvsUCLA”

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King Hippo

Dumb fuckers kicked it deep, they won’t ever get the ball back.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO at aTm Bieber fan.
Hehehehehe

King Hippo

UCLA now on a 28-3 run since it was 41-10.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh shit, really?
/changes channel for first time since getting high

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hawt Taek: Turns out that being high is like so much better than being ….. not high.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Unhigh?

theeWeeBabySeamus

High impaired?
(which brings up even more questions…but I’ll stop now)

Mr. Ayo

Inhigh

Mr. Ayo

Dishigh

Senor Weaselo

Low?

Unsurprised

Damn it. You’re making me want to try drugs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

This is a damn cute kitty.

Spoiler

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King Hippo

VPI inside the 1, just hilarious shit

King Hippo

pretty interesting defense on this drive

Unsurprised

One of my first roommates here in Oregon was a hurler. It seems kind of fun because it has the potential to be just a more violent version of rugby.

https://deadspin.com/hurling-is-hurling-an-all-ireland-championship-preview-1798692576

ALXMAC

ALTERNATIVE FACT: Freshman QB Josh Jackson of VT is from a family of athletes. His brother was picked 4th overall in the 2017 NBA Draft. His father was a founding member and key contributor of The Mighty Ducks before they became an NHL team.

Unsurprised

Was he the fat Mexican or the fat ginger?

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King Hippo

Name a elite hockey line that didn’t have a fat Mexican YOU CAN’T!!

Unsurprised

I coulda been this generations Gordie Howe.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wasn’t he Pacey on Dawson’s Creek?

Redshirt

Announcers: “We’ve removed all electrolytes in the teams’ water bottles. Let’s see if they notice.”

Mr. Ayo

What kind of wind swept moonscape are they playing on to result in so many cramps?

King Hippo

Holy shit, UCLA is somehow back to within 13.

Unsurprised

These kids have a future in Jacksonville.

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Senor Weaselo

Would that count as under the jurisdiction of Doink?

Unsurprised

That’s pure, uncut BLEEERGH.

Unsurprised

From the Jaguras WYTS

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Don T

College football on Sundays is heresy.
BTW, this day has been interminable. FOOTBAAAWWWWW

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rewatched In the Loop. Still fucking funny but more and more disturbing with the gift of hindsight

ALXMAC

That’s been on my MUST WATCH list since the 1st season of Veep.

Unsurprised

Everyone needs to see both series.

King Hippo

That ball’s out, but I bet they don’t overturn it.

Mr. Ayo

You are correct sir!

WCS

Yarp.

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So many questions…..
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Mr. Ayo

Eject him!

Redshirt

Apparently the CBs in WV-VT think that Pass Interference means you can’t interfere with the pass itself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy shit the guy they are looking at to take over at QB for FSU is 6’5″ and weighs 185 lbs.

Redshirt

A big gust of wind and he’s flying away.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His nickname should be Stiff Brees.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Somebody say “Stiff Brees?”

— A. Rodgers

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

It;s more fun since the game went to two-hand touch

Unsurprised

I want to like this because it’s a good joke, but it’s also something that makes me see red. Fuck it.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

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LemonJello

Is that kick coverage called “shit the bed spyder 2 banana”?

Turkeyfuckers answer the Cousinfuckers.

King Hippo

that were short-lived

King Hippo

WhiteGuyDOWN 2: Acoustic Boogaloo

King Hippo

400-lb Cousinfucker crowd shot DRINK

LemonJello

I’m sure she has a nice personality, though.

King Hippo

you can rest assured she knows how to cook. And can always find a KFC.

WCS

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WCS

Merde.

King Hippo

yeah, I do 5 mins of errands, come back and it’s all tits up in Cousinfuckerland

LemonJello

“Tits up? You have my interest.”
-M. Trubisky

King Hippo

Loved that ABC cartoon bumper. Dan’l Boone-ish mountain man fighting off a giant, sex-crazed turkey.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, that guy was asking for it.

– Teh Turkey

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herodotus450

The brown isn’t quite the right shade of brown
http://www.cafepress.com/legallydistinctdfoshop.114696779
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Well fuck i give up.

ballsofsteelandfury

NICE!

King Hippo

I’m looking for these on The Factory floor come RedZone time…

blaxabbath

Alright, temps are down to 97 so I need to get my productivity on. Catch you dudes later.

Mr. Ayo

A little bit of pole loving for WVU

litre_cola

There is a smokeshow blonde beside the WVU coach.

Would burn couch for.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s his wife and daughter.

LemonJello

You mean his cousin, sister & wife?

King Hippo

Had to get cute with the lateral. Bet the baby got woked up.

Unsurprised

Honest biker jacket.

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ALXMAC

Great cut by Crawford. Top 3 RB in BIG12-2

King Hippo

There are three RBs in the Big 12-ish?

ALXMAC

He’s 1 of 3 that I know of that are proven good. Not much room on the roster for teams that run 5 wide all the time lol

Unsurprised

I kinda miss that I won’t actually be watching any football this season while the rest of you do. I guess beyond viewing clips if I decide to make more Quotables gifs in real time. But if I do that I need to make a new twitter account to post them. I figure they need maximum exposure online like there and r/NFL liveblogs. Oh God. That means I’d need to run a DFO-specific account. UGH. Why is fun so much work?

blaxabbath

You should do the Quotables winning gifs each week.

Unsurprised

Okay. We’ll start there.

ballsofsteelandfury

I like the sound of that.

blaxabbath

Can we get a the HRTN store to offer up these shirts (with the same Browns font) with The Pauls?

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Senor Weaselo

Probably can’t have the logo either.

LemonJello

Something more like this?
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King Hippo

Make one of those with “CTE” in the lettering?

blaxabbath

Is there a typical font that matches the “NFL” in the shield?

Mr. Ayo

Tabac G4 Bold or Aachen

litre_cola

How the hell does a German town get their own font?

/just want to skinnify this thread even further

herodotus450

They were Aachen for some good press sometime after 1945

Unsurprised

Genius!

litre_cola

If so, i want a smokin jay catler dont care shirt.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m impressed that you didn’t say “The Sills

(lol)

LemonJello

Wouldn’t Buffalo be a better choice there?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaha

ALXMAC

Maybe Rosen should have (puts on sunglasses), stayed in school.

blaxabbath
ALXMAC
blaxabbath

Fucking bar is low for UCLA

Three 1st downs in a row for The Offense.#BeatTheAggies l #GoBruins pic.twitter.com/49Niw9Pfy9

— UCLA Football (@UCLAFootball) September 4, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

ballsofsteelandfury

It always is…

Unsurprised

They let you in.

King Hippo

Rosen just got wishboned. OUCH