Your “It Seems Like The Super Bowl Was Just Yesterday” Thursday Night Football Season Opener Open Thread.

I guess you’re wondering why I called this meeting. I’ll tell you why but first I think we need to give a round of applause to all the dickbags that provided summer (ie., ‘unfootball’) time content on this here football-centric blog. Y’all did yeoman’s work to keep us engaged and coming back again and again. Nicely done. And now to the matter at hand. You’re here because you love football. Or maybe you hate football in that weird way that you hate your ex. Or maybe you love to hate football. Or maybe you hate that you love football. No matter-it’s back and your jaundiced eyeballs are begging to see that sweet, sweet large man on large man action. Perhaps for just a little while we can forget about those players (too many) and their penchant for domestic abuse or the brain-addling inconsistencies of the punishments meted out against them. (Okay, Zeke gets to play the first game and then his suspension kicks in? Got it.) The garbage surrounding the game is hard to take but the game itself? I do like it and commenting with you fellow woebegone souls makes it that much better. So let’s dig in and enjoy the shit out of this. TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Pats: Good old Alex Smith. For a guy that is only behind Russell Wilson and Tom Brady in games won over the last four years he sure gets a lot of grief for being the game manager that he is. Most of the rookie qb hype that I came across in the pre-season was centered around Mitch “Truth Biscuit” Trubisky but out Kansas City way the folks are drooling over a certain Patrick Mahomes and his big-ass arm. Apparently the Chiefs cut CJ Spiller about five hours before game time so that his contract isn’t guaranteed for the entire year. I hope I’m wrong because that seems remarkably petty. The guy is on the books for 615k, for Goodell’s sake! That leaves KC with only two rb’s for the game and the starter, rook Kareem Hunt, will be joining the illustrious company of Duce Staley, Brian Westbrook, LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles as players that Andy Reid has run into the ground. Freaking Brady is forty and it looks as though his arm strength is still there and he’s got a full complement of toys to play with. Recent acquisition Brandin Cooks is going to stretch the field (don’t sleep on Phil Dorsett and his 4.33 speed though) so that Gronk can work the middle of the field. The guy I’m looking to have a career year is Chris Hogan-it takes a year to wash all the Buffalo Bills stink off so I think he’s ready to make some noise. Perhaps your thinking Amendola is going to be the guy? Jokes on you-simply by mentioning his name out loud you caused him to strain a hamstring.

Well, the meeting is adjourned. Go out there and do your worst/best. If there are any new commenters out there this is probably the second best place to introduce yourselves aside from the new guys post that Seamus put up a few days ago. Have at it and I’ll see you down below.

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’ve seen those moves before. NSFW

WCS
Member

pleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizurepleasebeaseizure

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

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NATO Pats Fan
Member
NATO Pats Fan

Bob Kraft, wearing Nikes with his $4,000 suit. Of course, if I had that kind of money, I’d wear Nikes with my $4,000 cargo shorts.

WCS
Member

I am looking forward to how viciously the Massholes and TAWMMIES boo The Rog, though.

blaxabbath
Member

I sure wish the Diamondbacks played in the AL East; their ridiculous streak might actually get more than a Fox Sports Scoreboard Update mention.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Now imagine how you’ll feel when the Brewers somehow sneak into the second wild card and knock off the D’Backs in that single game playoff.

blaxabbath
Member

Fuck the Brewers and that cheat Ryan Braun. He’s T*m Br*dy without the success.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Going to a Cubs-Brewers game in Milwaukee is great because the booing there is somehow *louder* than at Wrigley because of all the dopey Cubs fans who head up there.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Ryan Braun got a judge fired, ppl forget that.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

Is this where we go to talk about the Dirt BOLTMEN game in an hour?

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King Hippo
Member

SWEEP! SWEEP! SWEEP!

/I will have KMOX feed on the radio, evil Greater Footy sides on mute

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

I’ll glad you give you the game tonight if the Donkos decimate the Spanoi on Monday.

blaxabbath
Member

^^ Pace yourself, LCSS, it’s a long season of hate.

King Hippo
Member

I like how RW is such a white-friendly black guy, that his TD dance is “I can’t dance.” Too bad he’s such a goshdarned liberal ,, smh.

blaxabbath
Member

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yeah right
Member

Have fun storming the castle!

Stuck at work until 7:00 PDT after which I will be watching the game on delay.

Welcome back!

NATO Pats Fan
Member
NATO Pats Fan

Heart attack ad. Great target, NFL fans.

King Hippo
Member

I am hoping to time mine for immediately after the university basketballing tourneyment ends. Sooner rather than later.

But in-Greater Footy season would be a travesty. And it’s not like I’mma do anything to slow that train down.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Go Madden Curse! It’s basically the only football thing that might be successful this year that I root for.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Woot! Another week, another HRTN!

And it’s getting weird. Don’t ask me why. I just write the damn thing.

King Hippo
Member

Dude, I think it writes you.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

I’m beginning to think you’re right.

Senor Weaselo
Member

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/Let’s see if removing the i. at the beginning works.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Welcome everyone to the first chapter of the story in which the Patriots win yet another goddamned Super Bowl.

blaxabbath
Member

Life has been good for Nazis since Trump’s election, no reason it would stop now.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Each of the Patriot’s next Super Bowl rings will have 1488 diamonds.

WCS
Member

This is sadly banner-worthy.

blaxabbath
Member

WCS IS BACK!

Gratliff
Member

It was the price I was willing to pay to prevent a Cowboys SB appearance, and I stand by my decision.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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litre_cola
Member

This will not surprise you, I am with Grat.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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King Hippo
Member

I will cut you both

blaxabbath
Member

“I will cut you both.”

-Chip Kelly, to any pair of black 3-star recruits

King Hippo
Member

blax is fucking rolling tonight, how many beers in?

blaxabbath
Member

keto flu.

NATO Pats Fan
Member
NATO Pats Fan

How the fuck you boys doin’?

Re-introduction – after KSK folded it’s tent I went into a deep, deep funk that was not cleared until the Pats won another Super Bowl. No, not really. My Army work computer filters did not much care for DFO, so I fell off the net until I finally departed the Army and am now happily ensconced outside Asheville, NC, surrounded by Panther fans. Glad to be back!

King Hippo
Member

HUZZAH!

/Asheville is the tits

//the NC contingent is surprisingly large here

///by my count, exactly 0 of us are Panthers fans

Senor Weaselo
Member

Do we have any at all? I don’t think so, right?

BaldingSpiritually
Member
BaldingSpiritually

I can be a Panthers fan, I’m already programmed to make excuses for our controversial QB with an incompetent GM and an asshole owner named Jerry

King Hippo
Member

Methinks u rite

blaxabbath
Member

Good on you. Real money is in the private sector!

WCS
Member

Happy to see you.

Fuck the Patriots with Mr. Kraft’s severed dick.

NATO Pats Fan
Member
NATO Pats Fan

Golfing my ass off, WCS.

King Hippo
Member

Looking forward to the remarkably dirty feeling of cheering for the Chefs, then consoling myself when the P*ts win by 20 that at least my 2nd least favourite team lost!

blaxabbath
Member

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Senor Weaselo
Member

I know Cookie Crisp has gone downhill since they replaced Chip the Dog with Chip the Wolf, but I didn’t realize the new one needed a second job.

King Hippo
Member

#RapeyRat

blaxabbath
Member

I love how inter-division hate knows just no boundaries.

King Hippo
Member

I have complete, utter disdain for the Chefs. I have good memories of in-game fights with the Raiders. They have earned their place at the table of rivalry. And their presence in the NFL is just manifestly fun/chaotic evil.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Go meteor?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Who’s number one? Pats? Or Raiders?

King Hippo
Member

P*ts. I grudgingly respect the Raiders, and LIKE that rivalry. A “love to hate” so to speak.

blaxabbath
Member

#onenation

Gratliff
Member

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Damnation. My beer shipment has been delayed a week. It was the only think I had to look forward to this weekend.

WCS
Member

So, you’re a Jets fan, eh?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

i’m just here for the dick jokes.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Looks like Myles Garret will be doing a lot of kneeling for the Browns as well.

blaxabbath
Member

I’m banking that he gets nailed for PEDs and then knocks out his girlfriend during his suspension. Double Whammy NFLPA Tax kicks in and Rog gives him 82 games.

WCS
Member

There’s absolutely no way he doesn’t spontaneously combust by Week 7. A potential generational talent simply isn’t allowed to be successful on the Browns.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

The joke’s on every other franchise that actually tries to win: the browns still get the same revenue share money of (looks up amount with popular search engine) 244 Million?!>? And the salary cap is only (looks up amount with popular search engine) 167 Million? So every NFL team owner makes (furiously types numbers into Cray Computer and reads printout) 77 Million to just sit around and bilk local municipalities?

WCS
Member

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

And Haslam is definitely tanking that salary number, so he is getting $100M easily.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

No more methadone. I WANT THE REAL SHIT!

litre_cola
Member

Work sucked terribly today. I hate the Pats, dislike Andy, BUT IT IS STILL FOOTBALL AND DICK JOKES.

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