Your “It Seems Like The Super Bowl Was Just Yesterday” Thursday Night Football Season Opener Open Thread.

I guess you’re wondering why I called this meeting. I’ll tell you why but first I think we need to give a round of applause to all the dickbags that provided summer (ie., ‘unfootball’) time content on this here football-centric blog. Y’all did yeoman’s work to keep us engaged and coming back again and again. Nicely done. And now to the matter at hand. You’re here because you love football. Or maybe you hate football in that weird way that you hate your ex. Or maybe you love to hate football. Or maybe you hate that you love football. No matter-it’s back and your jaundiced eyeballs are begging to see that sweet, sweet large man on large man action. Perhaps for just a little while we can forget about those players (too many) and their penchant for domestic abuse or the brain-addling inconsistencies of the punishments meted out against them. (Okay, Zeke gets to play the first game and then his suspension kicks in? Got it.) The garbage surrounding the game is hard to take but the game itself? I do like it and commenting with you fellow woebegone souls makes it that much better. So let’s dig in and enjoy the shit out of this. TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Pats: Good old Alex Smith. For a guy that is only behind Russell Wilson and Tom Brady in games won over the last four years he sure gets a lot of grief for being the game manager that he is. Most of the rookie qb hype that I came across in the pre-season was centered around Mitch “Truth Biscuit” Trubisky but out Kansas City way the folks are drooling over a certain Patrick Mahomes and his big-ass arm. Apparently the Chiefs cut CJ Spiller about five hours before game time so that his contract isn’t guaranteed for the entire year. I hope I’m wrong because that seems remarkably petty. The guy is on the books for 615k, for Goodell’s sake! That leaves KC with only two rb’s for the game and the starter, rook Kareem Hunt, will be joining the illustrious company of Duce Staley, Brian Westbrook, LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles as players that Andy Reid has run into the ground. Freaking Brady is forty and it looks as though his arm strength is still there and he’s got a full complement of toys to play with. Recent acquisition Brandin Cooks is going to stretch the field (don’t sleep on Phil Dorsett and his 4.33 speed though) so that Gronk can work the middle of the field. The guy I’m looking to have a career year is Chris Hogan-it takes a year to wash all the Buffalo Bills stink off so I think he’s ready to make some noise. Perhaps your thinking Amendola is going to be the guy? Jokes on you-simply by mentioning his name out loud you caused him to strain a hamstring.

Well, the meeting is adjourned. Go out there and do your worst/best. If there are any new commenters out there this is probably the second best place to introduce yourselves aside from the new guys post that Seamus put up a few days ago. Have at it and I’ll see you down below.

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Wakezilla

A Live look at Amendola and Edelman

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Beerguyrob

“Dummies. There are four downs.”

– Trent Green

Beerguyrob

Home from the stadium – C’s won; made $90; Game 3 on Monday, Wakezilla – and just finished watching the game on fast-forward.

I may just fall asleep masturbating to the Barstool Sports Twitter feed. I wish I’d been here live with all of you.

JerBear50
JerBear50

I may just fall asleep masturbating to the Barstool Sports Twitter feed.

I’m with you on half of that statement.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not happy about seeing Kansas City win, but I am happy about seeing other people so happy about it. Except that I’m not happy for people who are genuinely happy about it because I hate KC and their fans; I’m only happy for the people who are happy about seeing the Patriots lose.

WCS

While 18-1 is still in play (and a horrifying twist on irony), there will not be a perfect regular season.

(Jacksonville goes 16-0, loses to KC in Divisional round)

WCS

Scott Van Pelt just said Kansas Shitty live on air. HE’S JUST LIKE US.

JerBear50
JerBear50

Except for his being exceptionally wealthy and probably less self-loathing. Other than that, just like a fellow Commentist.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Wakezilla

She is perfection

JerBear50
JerBear50

My boxers are still on so I’m gonna have to disagree.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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make it snow

What are we drinking after hours, gentlemen?

Senor Weaselo

I made myself a chocolate milk! What, I didn’t want to go out and get a Snickers bar.

make it snow

Chocolate milk owns.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Vodka. That’s my answer every time.

WCS

I work from home, so I’m going to keep drinking for at least another hour.

Beerguyrob

Vodka Slurpee. Sorry I’m late to the party.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

+1 to NBC Boston for calling this game a safe for TV word for dogshit without leaving anything to the imagination

Duchess

They called it “Tom Bradys Performance Meals”

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

I have work tomorrow, so off to bed. It’ll be hard trying to sleep with this throbbing postgame erection, but i’ll manage. Hopefully the rest of the season turns out as awesome as this game. Goodnight all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Am I the first one who made a Khunt joke? Whether or not it was actually me, I want credit for it.

Senor Weaselo

/Checks
Yeah, it looks like you popped its cherry.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Anyone have any more whiskey?

WCS

Plenty.

JerBear50
JerBear50

Considering I have a Cat 5 headed towards me, I stocked up tonight. Half gal of Turkey 101 in my cabinet, plus a 12 pack and a bomber in my fridge. Make that an 8 pack and no bombers. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough to share. Since I bought just before the market crash and my shitty house is still upside down, I am strongly in the corner of team Irma.

make it snow

Well, I’m not done drinking.

Duchess

Who looked more lost the Pats Defense or Rodney Harrison?

Horatio Cornblower

Good night folks. What a fantastic start to the season.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d agree if it had been anybody but the Chiefs.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Ooh, I almost clicked and missed Rodney Harrison nearly in tears.

SonOfSpam

Hi. This will be annoying, so buckle up. I’m in two $$ FFLs. In both of them, I drafted and started a KHunt.

I am happy, and erect*.

*not very, but still

Senor Weaselo

You guys, we’re at 12 pages. Twelve.

ballsofsteelandfury

I read that as inches. Still applies.

SonOfSpam

Great minds and whatnot.

SonOfSpam

10 more than Favre!

Oh, you said pages. Carry on.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“12 pages?”

[hyperventilates]

– Mark Foley

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

This is not the start to my birthday I was expecting

Horatio Cornblower

Happy Birthday Sharkbait! I got you some TB12 snacks! Says her it makes you shit be….oh, sorry, it says they make you play like shit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Happy Birthday!

Brocky

Happy Birthday dude

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SonOfSpam

Happy 13th!

WCS

Congrats on your latest lap around Sol.

NATO Pats Fan
NATO Pats Fan

Sack time!

Smithchez
Smithchez

42 points? But what about MATTY PAHTS FACKIN BAHSTSANNESS?!! He’s got a pencil behind his ear and everything!!!!

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