The Cowboys/Broncos tilt is far and away the best game available here but I might sneak in some Jets/Raiders action when no one is looking. TO THE GAMES!
Mia/LAC: The Fins finally get a game under their collective belts and I can stuff some Ajayi into my lineup. The Clips lost pg Chris Paul and it showed last week. The good news is that te Blake Griffin was signed in the off-season and continues his stand out play. Did you know that he once played basketball? I’m surprised that announcers haven’t pointed that out very often.
NYJ/Oak: The Jets get to travel all the way out to the west coast to pick up their second L of this young season when they could be doing the very same thing much closer to home and those that pretend to love them. Damn you, NFL schedule-makers! Not going to lie-I’m thinking seriously of taking a year off work and coming back where I left off. I call it “The Lynch Stratagem”.
Dal/Den: Is the Broncs run D improved enough to limit Zeke to under 100 yards? Melvin Gordon and his 3 yards a carry nods knowingly. It seems as though Dez struggles mightily against above average cb’s and that’s where Chris Harris comes in. And don’t kid yourself, the Cowboys D is not nearly as dominant as it seemed against the [spits on ground] Giants O. Denver in a squeaker?
Was/LAR: The biggest surprise last week had to be the way the Rams blew the doors off the Colts. It’s very strange to see a perennial also-ran step on the throat of another team and refuse to let them back up. Goff and Kupp impressed but the jury is still out on rb Gurley, what with that whole 19 carries for 40 yards albatross around his neck.
SF/Sea: The only way the Niners have a puncher’s chance at this one is to feed rb Hyde far more than the measly 15 times they did last week against Carolina. There’s just so much more talent wearing the green and whatever.
Get with the typing, fellas.
Yes, Cowboys dodged a bullet.
“Tell me more”
-P. Burress
and McManus continues my fantasy misery
That what a weird looking/not great kick
Chargers kicker is Younghoe Koo: not even gonna touch that one.
…But if I were:
1) pandering to the asian population in california
2) WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS NAME YESTERDAY!
Ho Lee Fuk
A guy in my money league (who drafted said kicker) named his team Younghoe’s Golden Toe.
Have you seen his kick/backflip?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9_dleIWEBo
Siemian kinda fucked up there
I think I would enjoy Bears games a lot more if I just imagined it was the Cowboys playing so horribly
I like the sudden goosestepping by that Chargers player
CJ just wanted to see how many fuckers he could hit
Jesus they have to wait three seasons for a stadium?
Yup! Fuck ’em.
assuming a construction project doesn’t fall behind schedule
You can say this about the Jets, at least they made it to the stadium on time.
Go Simian Semen!
/”Silicon Valley” flashback ensues
All right Darwin, relax.
Looks like Scotchy super prescient re Pokes’ defensing
Goddamnit crabtree
When you play the Jets, everyone is Beast Mode
Except for Beast Mode, because of course.
I think it’s time to put the rest of the lobster mac and cheese in the toaster oven
Arrived at target. Goal: Entry for $20 or less. I’ve already been offered a $100 ticket; I counter-offered $20 and he lost interest. For now.
Scalping at the Stubhub Center does have a certain poetic majesty to it.
Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go to an actual Target?
It’s a weird stadium considering how close everything is to the field. I’d be shocked if you get anything under $100.
Bronco fans need to keep it down. Dallas is trying to run their offense.
Real well oiled machine there, Dallas.
THIS SEAHAWKS REDZONE OFFENSE, I CALL IT A FAILED ORGY BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET TO 7 BUT THEY ONLY GET 3.
And it’s an ugly 3, too
I wonder what it’s like when your defense doesn’t routinely allow receivers to have 5 easy yards of separation.
N’Awlins was allowing way more than that.
SandersDOWN WOO!!!!
Siemian playing GOOD!
Josh McCown’s Week 3 Injury update:
J. McCown (NYJ) Questionable – he ded
Charmslinger trickeration.
AP only got 8 touches. He gon be upset.
/I was away all afternoon, just getting caught up
He said he didn’t sign to get 9 touches. So…there ya go, Corpse of Purple Jesus!
Thats a paddlin
I kinda miss all the multipurpose stadiums with the baseball infield at the 50.
A very McCownsian down
Demaryius WOO!!
How many weeks do you think the Jets have to start McCown to keep up the obvious ruse of “We’re not tanking, we swear!” before they can just bench his ass?
Hackenberg is the answer.
As a fan of entropic comedy, I can’t fucking wait for The Hackenberg Experience, regular season varietal.
Starting Hackenberg is the second act of the Greek tragedy that is the 2017 Jets.
Wait we can lose on purpose?
– the Bears
Kizer with 3 intercepts, 50% passing. I knew it!
/was easy to know
Jimmy Graham has to hold on to the roundball.
Everytime the Jets complete a pass it feels like a mistake
So glad you finally joined us.
*slaps you on the ass, hard*
Bonsoir, you beautiful people!
I haven’t seen a Jet take a pummeling like that since the 1986 Mets had a full-on gangbang on their flight home from Houston!
Aikman Does The Cowboys is my fave rodeo porn series.
Troy’s too!
I missed it, what did Rivers say
That’s some funny shit from Laserface.
Troy looks high as fuck.
Ladeez (?).
Jinnamen.
LOVE the empty seats at both the Coliseum and Carson.
Sweet justice.
OF COURSE THEY COULDN’T JUST GIVE IT TO LYNCH. FUCK!!!!!
Lynchdown coming
What was the spread on the J-E-S-T game? A googleplex?
Congrats on an absolutely Haynesworthian Perform-Get Paid-Be Garbage performance thus far by Muhammad Wilkerson.
Lynch is going to have a day
Stu finally made it!
Bears Reddit is hilarious. Torn between fire everyone and blind faith that this same shit team would win out if only they started Trubisky (but pick your preferred unintentional misspelling). All I know is I need to minimize Bears game weekends where I’m not drinking
Hello gentlemen.
yo
Good day, sir!
This is a legit question: Are there any LA Rams fans that are still alive?
Yes. A buddy of mine grew up in LA and was super stoked for the team to come back.
That’s actually kinda nice. Good for him.
What is the name of Gronks 2010 Suburban? Alex
The Bears got the short end of the stick. Not only did Tampa have an extra week to prepare, but Tampa had the luxury of playing the Bears! If the Bears had played the Bears it would have been a whole other ball game.
The Raiders/KC games this year are going to be LIT.
Let’s go Boys!!!
Pretty sure most of us are rooting for Semen
“Uh what now?”
A. Rodgers