Woof! So many delightful games! (I wrote this around noon-I have no idea) Here’s a preview of another NFC Championship Game. I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from Cowboys fans near and far. And yes, they have a point. We’ll see how things shake out over the course of the season. TO THE GAME!
Packers/Falcons: Green Bay corners House, Rollins and Randall will draw straws to see who gets the honour of covering the most physically dominant wr in the game today (RIP Megatron) Hey, didn’t you think that Calvin Johnson was going to ‘retire’ the one year and come back? I’d have lost the house on that one I was so sure. Where are we? The Pack also has something called a “Nitro” package whereby they throw 6 db’s on to the field at one time-I’m curious to see that. Rodgers has done his part the last two games vs. Atlanta-he’s got a 7-1 TD/Int ratio and over 100 yards rushing. Between the ankle problem and coming down with the flu, the player whose name makes me giggle like a four year-old-Bryan Bulaga-may not suit up tonight. Look, I know in my heart of hearts he’s not a Beluga whale but some small part of me thinks that. When they start ascribing human characteristics to the guy I just lose it. Man, I’ve really lost the thread here.
Okay. Worst. Game. Preview. Ever. In my defense, I’m more alcohol than man at this point. Enjoy the festivities and comment like the unrepentant bastards that I know you are.
I hope this is a fake field goal attempt, LET’S SPICE THIS UP
Mike McCarthy is about as daring as Paul Ryan on the phone with Drumpf.
2nd & Goal from the 25…oh WCS…?
Blame Lil’ WCS. She wanted to read.
I hope Mike McCarthy loses it and gets ejected from the game for another Unsportsmanlike.
You know that Rex Ryan wishes that rule had been in place when he was coaching. I imagine quite a few times he would have liked getting an early start on the post-game snacks.
Wouldn’t he also get a penalty for unabated shot at the spread?
Weather machine used to destroy world? OH HELL YEAH I’M SEEING IT.
Ripped straight outta the headlines!
Now the loons that believe we have one in Alaska will believe it even more
Yeah, because it would be embarrassing if someone was building a weather machine to hold the world hostage, but accidently created Harvey and Irma while debugging the software.
#GEOSTORM: It’s Not 2012, We Swear!
Fucking Christ
Give the guy credit. He walked into what would be a dream job, “White House Press Secretary”, and dealt with having to be the “voice of Trump”. The fact that he’s not in a padded room somewhere is astonishing.
When he took the job, was he under the impression that someone else was going to be president?
Yeah. Mike Pence.
They kinda did tell him that he and that other shit were there to keep reins on the loonies. If one were a sane Republican, that would be hard to turn down.
Not that I don’t have issues with what he did. I get the impression he has a whisper of a conscience about it, at least. Too bad he doesn’t have enough impeach-y info, since the cabal never trusted him.
Trump will never be impeached.
Fuck him sideways.
I’m not defending him. If it was me, I would’ve walked away as soon as Trump ordered me to lie about the number of people in the Inauguration. I’m just saying its bad luck he got a dream job but with the wrong president.
You know it would be so meta if Atlanta blows this lead.
Pretty sure it’s in the work order for the stadium that if they blow this they have to dynamite it on the spot, with everyone still inside.
PLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWITPLEASEBLOWIT
— Aaron Rodgers
I would enjoy the opportunity to make a “Gone With the Wind” joke
“Atlanta has backed off a little bit.”
You know, because of how well that worked before.
Worked for me.
– Wm. Tecumsah Sherman
Not for America
Bad news: All this beer is making me burp a ton now.
Good news: Every time I burp, it tastes like the lamb meatballs I had for dinner.
I see the Commentists hasn’t forgiven Atlanta for last February.
#NeverForget
I wont!
You’re right, but go fuck yourself.
Dear Atlanta,
Why couldn’t you just have run the fucking ball?
cc: Pete Carroll
We believe what Sherman did was “a good start.”
AleDudeJims doggy was on the teevee!
Goodnight, all
Later tater.
God damn! I can’t believe I waited all fucking day for this. This game stinks right through the TV. I swear to Christ, they could pick any random 22 players out of the stands and get a more watchable game than this one. Fuck all these shitheels with Arthur Blank’s severed penis.
/orders one more IPA/
Wait, someone actually “waited all day” for Sunday night?
Yeah. The guy with the TV that turned into a radio this morning right before the early game started. The guy who is out at a bar dodging all kinds of shit just to watch this game. Yes. I waited all day. And I am watching the whole damn thing, no matter how painful it is.
Orville update: I want to like it, but its not giving me anything to like.
Bengals update: I want to like them, but they’re not giving me anything to like.
Self update: I want to like me, but I’m not giving me anything to like.
Also, aw shit:
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/bengals-players-reportedly-want-team-to-consider-bringing-in-colin-kaepernick/
Recorded it, have yet to watch it though.
I can’t see myself ever getting into MacFarlane Mary Sue-ing himself into his earnest Star Trek fan fic.
I’m done. Fuck this game.
What game?
Well, this game is ass, inside of an ass. We’ve hit Assception
Something something time slows down in the ass something something
My workout is almost over, all my eye candy have just left and this game is over. That worked out rather well for me.
Pretty much.
Why is there a train whistle in das Arschlochstadion?
Why does that sound like a Hungarian concentration camp?
Rodgers is just having an intestinal explosion of a game
Thanks to his -1 I have a 3 point lead. My opponent is done
Go home green bay, you forgot to leave.
HERPY DERPY
IPA #5: guy at the bar has the same last name as me. He’s pretty sure we’re related. I’m pretty sure we’re not.
There cant be a lot of Uckers out there.
“I’m Fred Ucker.”
I hope on your mailbox it says “F.Ucker”.
Random question : How on earth did Ma and Pa Kent ever survive Superman’s Terrible twos? Did they ever address this in a comic before?
Dammit, now I’ll be up all night.
Serious answer: I think, depending on which version of continuity we’re talking about, his powers arrived gradually. He was not a Supertoddler, I think.
Oh yeah? You never had to change his diaper.
Ma: Honey, shit went the thru the diaper, the crib and the wall again.
Pa: Goddammit!!!!!
The Superdickery started early.
He doesn’t need to eat, so I’d imagine they’d be more curious as to why he wasn’t shitting
As soon as I clicked send, this just occurred to me , which is funny because this has been on my mind the past two or three days, thanks to lil Wakezilla’s death stares and punches. If she had heat vision, I’d be ash now
Like Jack Jack in The Incredibles.
Hey, I posted it above!
Look up Supermans babysitter…funny.
Adrian Peterson with a kryptonite switch?
Incredibles was a good movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dQpFu8uRP0
*pushes horn rimmed glasses up on nose*
Don’t most comic book origins (except for Power Pack and Franklin Richards, just off the top of my head) use the conceit that superpowers are usually triggered by entering puberty?
*take hit off inhaler*
/I’m ready for my wedgie now
Marvel is bigger on this (thanks to Stan Lee and the whole mutant dynamic) than DC, but yes.
Does Denver play in Atlanta this year? Looking forward to seeing Sieman in the ass.
Nope. Broncos don’t go to Denver until 2020.
Edit: Er. Atlanta. Or whatever. Don’t read my comments they’re shit.
This makes me chuckle. Though I imagine it hurts teh hippo.
Hot taek: Many of the emmy award winners tonight are some reasons as to why the Democrats are in trouble
I used to generally roll my eyes at the idea of a “limousine liberal” but there’s genuinely something to that.
Yeah, like Leo DiCaprio flying his private jet all over the world bitching about global warming. Until there’s a Prius bizjet, shut the fuck up.
Hotter take: These Hollywood liberals would be perfectly fine voting for and giving money to Republicans if the party weren’t overtly sexist and associated with backwater conservatives.
Hottest taek, that describes the modern Democratic Party.
Indeed.
Evening lizard people.
At the gym working out and watching the game. Man, the football gods have blessed me today. Oh yes, they are smiling on me.
This game is ass, though
Well, that stadium certainly is.
How many Patriots fuckwits are in the bar saying that the Pats came back from a bigger deficit?
Rhetorical question
People are coming in to say it
That is why flash-bang grenades should be legal for civilians to purchase.
Easy enough to make your own
SMOKEBOMB!
remember, when in doubt – shoot first, ask questions later
Bluebunny just informed the soft serve machine is broken.
Hello all. Ugh, this fukin game.
I’m going to start a company manufacturing jerseys and I’m going to get the Falcon’s contract and then I will rename every player to something butt related in honor of their new stadium.
Tevin Colonman?
May I suggest Holeman
“Yes you may” – A Rodgers
I was thinking Trufart would be good
I’m trying to work a taint joke in there somewhere. I’m usually quite successful at such a challenge.
Poor Aaron Rodgers, he’s playing inside an anus and people are ok with it. Of course he’s too giddy to play well
I made it home. Well, we went right to get food and the Falcons are on.
Folks, the hairy ass BAZINGA! is gone. May it never be spoken of again.
Really digging this new first person QB perspective during the game. Kudos to the Packers for doing this.
I’m really hungry for Keebler cookies all of a sudden.
Moving is hell.
Yes it is.
Yes the trip from couch to the bathroom is a bitch.
I know prying my balls off my leg is just awful.
Ted Cruz was hacked… by his libido.
Wasn’t even a flag in the scene. Makes him unAmerican in you ask me
But Ted was at full mast
There was even an undocumented money shot.
Folks, I love capitalism just like Ted does.
See? Hansen Brothers Special Teams, right there!!!!
There’s lot’s of doody in the buttdome!
Aaron Rodgers talks to his family less than Scott Peterson.
I woke up at 6am, put together 3 posts, piled firewood, drank copiously and filled my belly with salty snacks. I think my work here is done guys.
G’Night!
I have so many questions about this KIA commercial where the baby hamster escapes the maternity ward: why does it need to escape? Where are the parents? Why can’t the hamster just walk out the front door?
I mean, I’m not even getting to the part about hamsters driving cars. Or anyone wanting to drive a KIA.
Oh Lemmy…why did they do that to you?
Damn, I think that’s the longest side effect list I’ve ever heard
“Keytruda, keeping you alive longer, because you can’t pay us when you’re dead”.
LOL, it’s like the Hansen Brothers play for Green Bay now.
That would be awesome! Fights during the anthem, it’s all uphill from there.
IM LISTENING TO THE FUCKING SONG!
Who is that number 52? I like the cut of his jib.
Will not make joke about “sometimes double teams sound great” Even though it’s the Packers.
It’s ok, we all made it anyway
Nothing worse than having a safety glued on you in man coverage!
There’s a reason Rodgers does so well facing a blitz.
Unless it’s a stunt.
I think that I am the worst Fantasy Football player in history.