Your “A Friend In Need Is A Pest” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Significant injuries from the weekend:
  • The NFL was denied an injunction to relieve the injunction that blocked Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension.
    • The League will now have to wait until after the judge has reviewed Elliott’s appeal before applying again.

And in case you missed it, the big deal in LA this weekend was the Trumpian argument about crowd size.

And if you thought it was just an LA measuring contest, brother…

The League is concerned enough that they are sending lackeys from nfl.com to write puff-pieces about the StubHub experience to counter actual facts:

So all that equals the early, wild speculation about where this new LA experiment is headed. Mr. Florio?

Regardless, the question now becomes when/if someone will be making an exit from the L.A. market far sooner than planned. If the new, state-of-the-art, $2.6 billion venue doesn’t consistently attract capacity crowds or something close to it when it opens in 2021 (the same year the Raiders open a new stadium in Las Vegas), a league that spent 20 years trying to figure out how to put a team back in L.A. may need to start thinking about how to get one out, quickly.

Two games into 2017, and the carcass is not yet rotting but the buzzards are taking flight.

Good, good…it’s all going according to plan

But at least there’s free tacos. El Pollo Grill in San Diego is offering free tacos the day after a Chargers loss. The secret phrase is “Spanos taco”. Misery loves company, and company likes the taco charro.


Game preview: Lions at Giants

It was an ass weekend of football, so no one expects that to change tonight.

The last vestiges of Eli Manning’s confidence will be on full display tonight, as he once again discovers he’s got no one to throw to, and his check-down option is on the sideline eating soup. As of 7 minutes before this post went live, OBJ’s status was still up in the air.

Meanwhile, Matt Stafford, fresh off watching his defence try & kill the only marketable players Arizona has, looks to prove his new contract means he can win when he plays outside. As long as he has capable running options, it should free him up long enough to outrun Three Fingers & the rest of the Giants defence. If they replaced the chalk at the Meadowlands with cocaine, that might be enough to lure Lawrence Taylor back to Jersey to provide some insights into how to actually tackle people.

Prediction: You’re watching something else after halftime. SPIKE has a COPS marathon…


Let me tell you, there wasn’t enough beer available to make me either enjoy or forget the Seahawks game yesterday.

The day started pleasant enough, albeit at 5:45 AM so I could cross the border by 8:00 with the buddy I had to pick up. The CBP agent gave us shit about not wearing our Hawks gear, but ceased when I pointed out “it’s in the back, because I don’t want to crease the 80 with the seat belt”.

We got to Henry’s Tavern a little after 10:00, with Mac & Jack serving as our sacramental wine.

Then, we meandered over to Pyramid for some Curve Balls, where we saw “guy who owns a jersey”. See if you can spot the outlier

Then, to Safeco for some…I want to say Lagunitas? Once inside the stadium, it was a Blue Moon on the “Touchdown City” concourse, and then an Elysian Immortal IPA once we got to the seats. Toss in an Alaskan Amber after the first quarter, and I was nicely toasted.

Which was good, because that was some dogshit football. The Seahawks deserved to lose. Proof of fan discontent?

#firebevell was trending after the game.

For some reason, we ended up at the Costco south of the stadium at 5:30. It got hit by lightning, killing the power & forcing management to close it early – but not let us out until the storm cell passed. Added sobriety time!

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. The Customs guard debated a breathalyzer, but decided my timeline added up.

School today was a challenge, but probably bought me credibility with the students… until they rat me out to their parents.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Detroit Lions at New York Giants – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
      • en español a ESPN2
  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NHLX:
    • Leafs at Sens – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “go home” show before the PPV / special event this Sunday

Of course, as Gratliff will agree, the squared circle lost one of its best speakers Sunday night, when Bobby “The Brain” Heenan passed away from complications due to the various cancers he’s had over the years. When I was a kid, his were the guts you hated, which was what made him just a valuable asset to the AWA & then the WWE. Please enjoy this compilation of his work.

And never forget this key piece of advice: “Now remember this, when a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he’s not looking.” SAGE WISDOM!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Redshirt
Member

No Ten Bell Salute for Heenan on WWE. Wow.

Gratliff
Member

Had to cut time for the “Are we seriously still doing Angle as Jordan’s dad?” bullshit

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’m still waiting for my goddamn beer delivery. Fucking delivery drivers.

hippofant
Member
hippofant

ON THE YOUTUBE

Redshirt
Member

So after watching Hollywood freakout from Sean Spicer showing up in the Emmys, the progressive, liberal, peace loving Liberals won’t be happy until every person connected to Donald Trump either directly or indirectly is broken, drawn and quartered with an arm going to Alaska and Maine, a leg going to Hawaii and Florida, the torso in Kansas, and the head impaled on the Statue of Liberty’s crown.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As they should be. Problem is none will even see jail time. Also fuck you.

King Hippo
Member

I like that he’s willing to laugh at himself, and he’s certainly not at all the worst offender of the bunch. Even when he was on the “team” one just felt pity for him more than anything.

But then again, I’m just a lamestream center-leftist that’s REALLY WORSER than the actual fascists when u stop 2 think about it.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The term is “quisling,” your highness. Quisling.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Liberals are the craven, conservative pieces of whale shit who let him be on the show and kissed his ass afterwards; the shitheads who are cool with human shitstains like David Frum because he tweets mean things about Trump after being the person who coined “Axis of Evil” among W’s biggest propaganda hits. They can all eat shit and die.

The only reason to have Spicer on the Emmys is to have people throw shit at him before catapaulting him to Reno.

Gratliff
Member

Get the fuck out of here with that. The man jumped at the chance to be a mouthpiece for those pieces of shit. He doesn’t get a pass just because they made a funny version of him for SNL.

WCS
Member

Works for me!

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Remember when trump fired all the people who were investigating him for tampering with the election? I don’t, because he’s fired and hired a circus of communication secretaries in the meanwhile to help us forget about it.

The Maestro
Member

Watching the preseason Sens game before football starts, and I don’t even give a shit that the game is meaningless – I’ll never get tired of beating the shit out of the Leafs.

scotchnaut
Member

From God’s labia to my ears. Go Sens!

scotchnaut
Member

First and foremost, breadguybob, kudos to you for going outside and interacting with humans.

/well done!

litre_cola
Member

beerguyrhett is still in Europe right?

Gratliff
Member

comment image

Gratliff
Member

Gotta believe WWE had a fucking truckload of memorial reels lined up for this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1MQRKlezJQ

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Pre-game fun.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

17 minutes well spent.

Senor Weaselo
Member
King Hippo
Member

GI Joe Community was goddamned perfection. I miss those wacky fuckers.

scotchnaut
Member

Giants fans, let’s all gather ’round and wallow in Eli’s (4 years and counting) slide into mediocrity.

/yeah, no, it wasn’t a good day

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

***ALERT***ALERT***ALERT***

The Matron Saint has confirmed OBJ will be active for tonight’s contest.

We now return you to your regular dick joke blog.

scotchnaut
Member

[engorges]

litre_cola
Member

Wayne Rooney given a 2 year driving ban for driving his side piece home hammered in her Volkswagen Beetle. He may have to get a chauffeur, like all athletes should have when they go drankin.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

If he just got an attractive female chauffeur, problem solved!

King Hippo
Member

He don’t like ’em that way, lid!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Hell, just get a chauffeur that can keep their gottdamnedd gob shut and you can fill that pussywagon full to the brim.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

This is the right idea, but pro athletes are idiots. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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