Your “A Friend In Need Is A Pest” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Significant injuries from the weekend:
  • The NFL was denied an injunction to relieve the injunction that blocked Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension.
    • The League will now have to wait until after the judge has reviewed Elliott’s appeal before applying again.

And in case you missed it, the big deal in LA this weekend was the Trumpian argument about crowd size.

And if you thought it was just an LA measuring contest, brother…

The League is concerned enough that they are sending lackeys from nfl.com to write puff-pieces about the StubHub experience to counter actual facts:

So all that equals the early, wild speculation about where this new LA experiment is headed. Mr. Florio?

Regardless, the question now becomes when/if someone will be making an exit from the L.A. market far sooner than planned. If the new, state-of-the-art, $2.6 billion venue doesn’t consistently attract capacity crowds or something close to it when it opens in 2021 (the same year the Raiders open a new stadium in Las Vegas), a league that spent 20 years trying to figure out how to put a team back in L.A. may need to start thinking about how to get one out, quickly.

Two games into 2017, and the carcass is not yet rotting but the buzzards are taking flight.

Good, good…it’s all going according to plan

But at least there’s free tacos. El Pollo Grill in San Diego is offering free tacos the day after a Chargers loss. The secret phrase is “Spanos taco”. Misery loves company, and company likes the taco charro.


Game preview: Lions at Giants

It was an ass weekend of football, so no one expects that to change tonight.

The last vestiges of Eli Manning’s confidence will be on full display tonight, as he once again discovers he’s got no one to throw to, and his check-down option is on the sideline eating soup. As of 7 minutes before this post went live, OBJ’s status was still up in the air.

Meanwhile, Matt Stafford, fresh off watching his defence try & kill the only marketable players Arizona has, looks to prove his new contract means he can win when he plays outside. As long as he has capable running options, it should free him up long enough to outrun Three Fingers & the rest of the Giants defence. If they replaced the chalk at the Meadowlands with cocaine, that might be enough to lure Lawrence Taylor back to Jersey to provide some insights into how to actually tackle people.

Prediction: You’re watching something else after halftime. SPIKE has a COPS marathon…


Let me tell you, there wasn’t enough beer available to make me either enjoy or forget the Seahawks game yesterday.

The day started pleasant enough, albeit at 5:45 AM so I could cross the border by 8:00 with the buddy I had to pick up. The CBP agent gave us shit about not wearing our Hawks gear, but ceased when I pointed out “it’s in the back, because I don’t want to crease the 80 with the seat belt”.

We got to Henry’s Tavern a little after 10:00, with Mac & Jack serving as our sacramental wine.

Then, we meandered over to Pyramid for some Curve Balls, where we saw “guy who owns a jersey”. See if you can spot the outlier

Then, to Safeco for some…I want to say Lagunitas? Once inside the stadium, it was a Blue Moon on the “Touchdown City” concourse, and then an Elysian Immortal IPA once we got to the seats. Toss in an Alaskan Amber after the first quarter, and I was nicely toasted.

Which was good, because that was some dogshit football. The Seahawks deserved to lose. Proof of fan discontent?

#firebevell was trending after the game.

For some reason, we ended up at the Costco south of the stadium at 5:30. It got hit by lightning, killing the power & forcing management to close it early – but not let us out until the storm cell passed. Added sobriety time!

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. The Customs guard debated a breathalyzer, but decided my timeline added up.

School today was a challenge, but probably bought me credibility with the students… until they rat me out to their parents.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Detroit Lions at New York Giants – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
      • en español a ESPN2
  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NHLX:
    • Leafs at Sens – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “go home” show before the PPV / special event this Sunday

Of course, as Gratliff will agree, the squared circle lost one of its best speakers Sunday night, when Bobby “The Brain” Heenan passed away from complications due to the various cancers he’s had over the years. When I was a kid, his were the guts you hated, which was what made him just a valuable asset to the AWA & then the WWE. Please enjoy this compilation of his work.

And never forget this key piece of advice: “Now remember this, when a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he’s not looking.” SAGE WISDOM!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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ballsofsteelandfuryUnsurprisedSenor WeaseloFronkenshteenBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I got drunk and passed out instead of liveblogging.

Senor Weaselo

Tonight’s bar debate: If you had a whole bunch of women and one man, would that be a harem or an orgy? Or would the ladies need to do stuff with each other? Where is the line drawn?

ballsofsteelandfury

If everyone is involved in sexy action at the same time, that’s an orgy. If all the women are AVAILABLE to the man but he only partakes one at a time, that’s a harem.

Fronkenshteen

Got a wok full of elbow mac boiling right now. It’s got a date with all this week’s leftovers. Listen to X. Ray Burns

Fronkenshteen

Working heavy weekend hours. Miss you guys. 2-0 in teh fantasy. Trying for a second bambino (a?). Wish us luck, because me with teh Paxil hardons.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Senor Weaselo

That’s why you don’t go for the taikwondo kick!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gesundheit!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Is that northeast of Oklahoma, City?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Mind.

Blown.

Wakezilla

How we doing tonight, night shift?

ballsofsteelandfury

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

#gamergenocide

Brocky

If someone wants to send me a dm, I got a formatting question for my column tomorrow:

How do you inject a header image? I want it to appear at the beginning of the page

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll hit you up in slack Brocky.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know how to DM, but I can tell you how to do the header image: use the “featured image” section on the bottom right when you are editing. If you are only mobile, it will be close to the bottom. The image must be uploaded to the site as links will not work.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL.
Never mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The smile is the best part. Just saying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

So, second time I’ve see that clay Matthews commercial, reminded me of a funny interaction from this weekend:

Douchebag packers fan: “the Claymaker! What do you think of that??”

I don’t say anything, just mimic injecting a syringe into my bicep

Douchebag: “fuck you”

Wakezilla

When did Clay last put up great numbers in a season anyway? 5 years ago?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just dealt with a chatty fucking Lyft driver back from the airport. Is the ESPN2 broadcast en español still fat superior to the regular one?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

No Dipp, no love

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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We all know what happens next.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ted Cruz ejaculates shamefully.