Hey there! It’s your old pal Beerguyrob, back for another Saturday night of kvetchin’ and cavortin’. Did you all enjoy last night’s AFL Grand Final? That was a humdinger, and didn’t finish too late on the west coast, so I was up & ready for Australia vs. South Africa rugby this morning.
Shout-out to don_t: glad you’re back on the grid, buddy.
I’d like to thank my close, personal friend gallon_soda for filling in last week while I was off offending Christians at a dog show & catching a delightful cold in the process. The one thing I forgot to remind him of was to present you the broadcast maps for Sunday. Really, I blame one of the Russians that’s always trying to infiltrate the site for sidelining that message. Better that, I suppose, than having Ramon Mercader open your door. Anyways, courtesy of 506sports.com,
CBS EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Pittsburgh @ Baltimore | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
| █ | Buffalo @ Atlanta | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
| █ | Tennessee @ Houston | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
| █ | Cincinnati @ Cleveland | Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta |
| █ | Jacksonville @ NY Jets | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
I had to look up what a “Spero Dedes” is, because I am unfamiliar with the breed. Turns out, it’s this
and he used to do play-by-play for the Lakers & Knicks. So, no wonder I didn’t recognize him.
CBS LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Oakland @ Denver | Jim Nantz, Tony Romo |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!1!!1 FUCK YOU, ARIZONA! You get that for ruining Fitty.
Also, Brent Musburger took a run at Tony Romo’s broadcasting style the other day. It came across very much as
FOX SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Carolina @ New England | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
| █ | LA Rams @ Dallas | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
| █ | Detroit @ Minnesota | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
| █ | NY Giants @ Tampa Bay (LATE) | Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber, Tiki Barber |
| █ | Philadelphia @ LA Chargers* (LATE) | Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth |
| █ | San Francisco @ Arizona (LATE) | Sam Rosen, David Diehl |
*NOTE: Philadelphia-LA Chargers will air in Los Angeles on KCOP My 13.
I can’t wait to hear the crowd reaction in the Eagles second home, the StubHub Center. Stockton’s going to be ‘gifted’ enough batteries for a billion pacemakers.
Canada:
Sunday – 1pm et/10am pt
Bills vs. Falcons (CTV Toronto, CTV Kitchener)
Rams vs. Cowboys (CTV Alberta, CTV Saskatchewan, CTV BC)
Panthers vs. Patriots (CTV, Montreal, CTV Atlantic)
Steelers vs. Ravens (CTV Winnipeg, CTV Ottawa, CTV Northern Ontario)
Lions vs. Vikings (TSN2)
Sunday – 4:05pm et/1:05pm pt
Giants vs. Buccaneers (TSN2)
Sunday – 4:25pm et/1:25pm pt
Raiders vs. Broncos (CTV Network EXCEPT CTV Atlantic, CTV Two Atlantic)
Tonight’s sports:
- NCAA:
- Mississippi State at Auburn – 6:00PM | ESPN
- Memphis at Central Florida – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Clemson at Virginia Tech – 8:00PM | ABC
- Oklahoma State at Texas Tech – 8:00PM | FOX
- Mississippi at Alabama – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Colorado at UCLA – 10:30PM | ESPN2
- California at Oregon – 10:30PM \ FS1
- San Jose State at UNLV – 10:30PM | ESPNU
- CFL:
- Argonauts vs. Tiger-Cats – 6:30PM | TSN
- Blue Bombers vs. Eskimos – 9:30PM | TSN
- MLS:
- Toronto FC vs. NY Red Bull – 7:00PM | TSN2
- Sporting KC vs. Whitecaps FC – 9:00PM | TSN2
- NHLX:
- Red Wings at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Oilers at Canucks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
Other TV:
- SNL: Ryan Gosling / Jay-Z – 11:30ET/8:30PT – NBC / Global
- Season premiere; live from coast-to-coast
Next Saturday, Canadians get “Hockey Night In Canada” back. IT’S THE MOST….WONDERFUL TIME…OF THE YEAR!!!
The drugs kicked in.
I’m really disappointed now that RTD is not going to take his box of batteries to Carson for the Philly fans that will take over the stadium.
Holding on Bobo!
Qué bobo!!
Just saw a commercial that claimed the average American drinks 236 beers a year.
I always knew I was above average.
“I guess I need to pick up the pace, 236 different beers is a fair number.” -Makeitsnow
I don’t drink enough, so you’re helping to keep that average up.
Half of those are Bud Lights, which don’t really count.
#UpForWater
Pass that around, Steve!
Miss Piggy finally got sick of his shit.
Yeah, that’s the astonishing part.
Love the Invader. Wouldn’t wanna be on the receiving end though.
There’s a guy named Bobo on the Colorado? All right, go them.
Clearly offensive paws interference.
I really crack myself up sometimes.
I got myself with the Japanese Prime Minister joke below.
I cannot legitimately remember the last time i felt this guilty.
Crashing on a buddy’s couch. Couch is apparently where said buddy’s adorable boxer dog typically sleeps. Said dog is lying in the floor giving me a pathetic look.
Poor thing
Make the dog promise no funny stuff and then share.
It’s only fair that Brocky should promise the same.
At the moment I’m just one drink away from laying on the floor pathetically.
He survived that pretty god.
I heard Sears was having problems, but damn!
THANKS ABE!
When does Alabama start getting slapped down for being in a crap conference?
Never
Fun fact: “crap conference” was the informal name by which administrators referred to Najeh Davenport’s disciplinary hearing.
Was watching Kingsman, dozed off, wife switched to 50 First dates. It’s a shame my lawyer doesn’t work weekends.
Kingsman kinda sucked. Your wife might have saved you from disappointment.
Actually seen it already, I agree. Samuel L. will always be Jules from Pulp Fiction to me. That lisp he has in Kingsman is disturbing.
He was playing Russell Simmons, who most people don’t realize also has a lisp.
Was that what it was? It was disturbing…gotta agree with that. The product-placement was also disconcerting.
I hate that. The 007 movies were the worst in that respect.
Kind of tragic that a guy with four S’s in his name has a lisp.
I wonder if the sequel acknowledges that The 1% were all (justly) blown up at the end of Kingsmen along with the heads (heh) of every national government.
That was the part that ruined it for me. Soundtrack was pretty damned good though!
Of the first or second movie? Because that was the only thing that made watching the first one at all worth it for me.
Hey Horatio,
I’m hammered!
H.O.T.S.?
Nah. Hardcore, cus John Holmes is there.
even better
“Who ordered the hot AIDS injection?”
No, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0127113/
Nice costume design!
OK, end of the OSU TT game, lets change channels, whats on ESPN?
Oh my
OK on to ESPN2
Actually, I think I’m gonna keep watching Alabama just to see how many points they score.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=zkzhA-5HXGg
.
Boy toys
How are you, Unsurprised?
Okay. You?
Purty good! BTW, yer gonna be back in HRTN this-coming month.
Sweet! Do I get sucked into the future through the Modern Day In & Out / Future Iguana Mart, which I presume is also the Nexus of All Realities?
Hmmm….that’s not bad idea…
Of course not. I’m a genius.
Isnt he hanging by his arms with us Canucks?
I think I am upside-down over a vat.
You guys are together. With AGS.
Bwahahahaha!
But at least I’m not about to murder Peter King anymore.
Conversely, I can’t murder Peter King anymore.
“Wait, what?”
– Eli Manning
“Wait, what?”
– Aaron Rodgers
Wow look at that fat old referee in the Oklahoma St game. He’s gonna die.
I’m on mute, so I’m imagining the heavy labored breathing when he speaks.
“Well, maybe so, but he sure gives a relaxing shoulder rub.”
Based on the hand that’s visible she probably thought it was Jason Pierre-Paul.
DOINK: PART DUEX
Gentlemen.
Gday
Normally I would be rooting against Oklahoma St. for the admittedly childish reason that they stole my school initials, but then I saw Texas Tech being cute with dark colored logos on black helmets. That’s changed my mind.
Go OSU-too! Beat the fashion faux pas!!!
Paul Lukas, is that you?
I’d have guessed Sean Avery but there was no mention of sloppy seconds.
I’ve hated the Dallas Cowboys since I was a lad, so OSU’s mascot makes me hate them. Plus, the local deli/corner store was run by a racist bigot whose son kicked for OSU a few years back, the place was festooned with OSU gear for the entire 4 years. So fuck OSU.
HEY, DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT THE OHIO- Oh, wait. Cowboys. See what I mean?
Seems that OK State has the same black logo on black helmet thang going on as well….
You know. I’m asleep. The teams are blurring together.
Well, the difference between Stillwater and Lubbock is pretty microscopic.
“When you said ‘o-ring’ I thought…you know what? Never mind.”
– Aaron Rodgers
Coming soon to a future near you.
Just saw the play-by-play guy for Bengals-Browns tomorrow. I’m almost tempted to keep the TV unmuted just in case this guy is hilariously bad.
It’s a Browns-Bengals game, what kind of announcer would you expect?
Some who really pissed off the boss?
Ronald Reagan?
Reagan made being President with a deteriorating brain popular.
local broadcast or CBS?
Cincinnati Ch. 12 tried paying for exclusive rights to air static, but NFL is making them air the game anyway.
That was such a bad INT.
Texas Tech game just got real good.
ONSIDE! AND RECOVERED!!
It looked like they were lining up for it, but there’s still a whole quarter left?
UCLA defense really sucks.
Rutgers QB who has one completion for -8 yards is not even the worst QB they’ve fielded tonight. And his last name is Hayek so worst case scenario he can’t even masturbate guilt free to Salma.
Or maybe, just maybe, he likes it even more.
“Masturbating to the thought of your sister? Ugh!”
– Brady Quinn
Ironically, that’s the distant cousin to the “How many beers will it take to elevate a “3” to a “6”?” theory. “How far away is she from my branch on the family tree?”
“Perhaps you misheard me, I asked how many beers to turn a 3″ into a 6″.”
– Brett Favre
8
You can still crank it to Friedrich, though, right?
Not to defend Tiki but when I was a young Spur working Business License for a high profile Firm, I hooked-up with an Intern. I know, i was as shocked by this as you are. I wasn’t much older than her so i went with it. Of course, I wasn’t married to a pregnant wife.
Honestly, who hasn’t hooked up with an intern?
I could put a curling joke in here but I fear I would be outed as for my whereabouts.
[does curls]
– LeRon Landry
Ooh, I did! She worked at the hospital in downtown LA dealing with mentally ill transients!
/Raises hand
Speaking of mosquitos and LSU, if I ever get elected president I’m going to buy all the dessicant packets we can afford and just air drop them on the Eastern half of the country. Good buy humidity, good buy mosquitos, hello massive increase in property tax revenue .
But the humidity keeps everything green.
That’s the best part, no one will suspect I’m in league with Big Paint the whole time until it’s too late! Haha!
Jim Cramer, everybody!
Good buy, tequila, it seems.
For the Southeast, make sure the packets have the “Do Not Eat” warnings printed on them. Probably need to include “Do Not Snort,” too.
Those are some ugly-ass shoes.
Which ones?
All of them!
(applause)
Per FZ, brown shoes don’t make it.
Nice! You can see the regret in her face.
I’m back from trolling my LSU neighbor, it was a good time.
Did you ask him to enumerate all the ways he’s related to his kids? Or did you just subtly keep asking him to read things to you, to see how many excuses he could come up with?
BOTH Barber brothers doing Giants-Bucs? On a scale of 1-10, how much NOPE is there?
Do you think Ronde ever tried to pull off the ol’ switcheroo on Tiki’s new wife?
Yes.
how many times?
Holy shit I just noticed that.
This Giants-Bucs game I call it the declining Roman Empire because it’s being invaded by the Barbers.
THIS GAME I CALL IT MARK DAVIS’ HAIRCUT CAUSE I’M SURE THE BARBERS ARE GONNA SCREW IT UP.
I might need to watch that.
ATT has a college stadium naming AND an nfl stadium? And Milana? They’ve grown too powerful…
/How long until the national anthem is also sponsored, and the same morans who care about kneeling don’t give a fuck about selling it out?
As Don T told us, though, it seems that’s all they’re good for. Sponsoring shit.
One of the bits in Infinite Jest was that every year was named after a sponsor. So things happened in the Year of the Depends Adult Undergarment and such.
Would make an incentive for that company to make sure the good outways the bad that year: In the Year of Viacom, all the anti-vaxxers were successfully extinguished. But also incentivizes every other company to make sure of the opposite: In the year of Nabisco, trump was elected president.
Not every company, just their direct competitors.
The Girl Scouts are a powerful enemy in this drunken hypothetical.
I like this thread because it makes absolutely no sense to me. That’s kinda cool.
“Me three!”
– Trent Green
It’s all pretty straightforward: I’m imagining a world where the girl scouts have elected trump as a patsy in order to devalue the brand of cookie rival Nabisco. Not like they needed any help doing that though, amirite?
Johnny Manziel wasted $29.99 on Amazon thanks to this misleading title.
Sexy Friday idea?
Steampunk, anyone?
I do like that look. I think that’s a definite possibility.
Or maybe not. We’re watching Lost Girl and she fantasizes about boobs a lot on that show too.
Channel plz?
Netflix via SyFy.
We often refer to it as “The Cleavage Show”.
Well if it’s got “Cleavage” in the name, I’m willing to give it fair go.
We’re watching that show right now!
What show is this?
I thought it was Lost Girl but seems to sci-fi to be that. Same actress is on Lost Girl though and has lots of (PG) lesbian sex with the lead.
Also, I was at CVS and Captain Morgan sells a readymade Long Island Iced Tea.
I’m curious.
One time I was at a Pietasters concert and was running out of money so I told the bartender to give me their “cheapest, strongest drink” and a LIIT was what I got.
Later that night I tried to get the Pietasters to play a song in tribute to William Shatner who (I mistakenly believed) had died earlier that night.
first and second paragraphs MAY be related.
Pietasters are solid.
They were my second favorite ska band. Spring Heeled Jack was my favorite, but that has an element of homerism to it since they were from Connecticut.
When I first moved to Los Angeles 21 years ago, the most amazing first site to me was a big display of 2 liter plastic bottles of Sav-On brand vodka in a drugstore. Coming from the east that just awed me. “Charcoal Filtered” was its tagline on the label, Sav-On’s guarantee that you won’t go blind.
Fun fact: if you drink methanol the way they treat you at the hospital to keep you from going blind is to get you blind drunk with ethanol.
Wait, so alcohol preserves eyesight?
/ goes back to CVS
It has to do with the way your body metabolizes both – methanol metabolizes to formaldehyde, which is what causes the damage. The same enzymes that do that also metabolize ethanol (preferentially) so it causes the methanol to break down in another way that is not as harmful.
I’m not gonna say you’re wrong.
But you MIGHT be slighly off track.
But…https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanol_toxicity#Treatment
As I said, you’re not wrong. It’s just slightly more complicated than that when ADH is being competed for. A lot of competing enzymes (from liver processing the “toxin”) kick in with either or both EtOH or MetOH, but it varies depending upon many other factors too.
One of which is just individual differences from one person (or animal) to another. My point is that when medically treating these things (which I think wasn’t your point to begin with so I apologize but now that I’m talking I can’t seem to shut up)….
A lot of competing factors have to be taken into consideration.
As an aside….
Antifreeze.
There are better treatments now, but used to be that most Vets kept a fifth of Everclear in house. Antifreeze is harmless until it’s processed by ADH. Which turns the antifreese into a form which then crystallizes in the tubules of the kidneys. Which is more or less fatal.
IV fluid with EtOH in it (get the dog drunk more or less) was once the best way to interfere with ADH (as you pointed out it preferential binding affinity) to keep the antifreeze from getting processed into the crystals.
But it only worked if you could get the EtOH flowing in quickly. Sadly that was rare unless the owner actually witnessed the dog/cat drinking the antifreeze. Usually they had no clue until they started getting sick….already too late.
Wow….did I cheer everyone up with this or what????????