Your “Milestones Come In All Forms” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Site news: We passed 400,000 comments during the Monday Night game.

Nearest I can decipher, the magic comment was Unsurprised with, “562 comments? This can’t be that good of a game. It’s fucking Truth Biscuit vs. whatever’s left of the Vikings.” For this blog, it seems appropriate. Well done people.

  

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!


NFL News:

  • It might be starting for the Lions. Haloti Ngata is done for the season.
    • a torn bicep is the culprit, although “a matter of time” could just as easily be the villain.
  • Whatever the Browns saw on Sunday has led them to bench DeShone Kizer.
    • Instead, they will feed Kevin Hogan to the Texans, in what otherwise looks like another semi-winnable game for the Browns.
    • This now makes 28 Browns starting QBs since 1999.
  • The Giants have suspended Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.
    • On word on why yet, but he apparently showed up to the team facility & said he was leaving the team.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Game 5: Yankees at Indians – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet1
  •  NHL:
    • Penguins at Capitals – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Devils at Leafs – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
  • NCAA:
    • Football:
      • South Alabama at Troy – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
    • Women’s volleyball:
      • Tennessee at Georgia – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Texas at Kansas – 9:00PM | ESPNU

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor Weaselo

Gary! Gary! You still have to tag him!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought so too, but apparently not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dick E. Phuck

I guess not

Horatio Cornblower

No, if there’s a guy on 1B the advancing on a passed ball on a 3rd strike is not an option.

Senor Weaselo

It is with 2 outs.

Horatio Cornblower

Well shit, now I have to go read the rule book.
*my knowledge of this rule is based on coaching Little League. Could be different in majors because telling kids you can do this, unless there’s a kid on 1B, in which case you can’t do it, unless there’s two outs, in which case you can do it, would result in dozens of tiny brains exploding.

Senor Weaselo

If the manager was away/wanted to coach 1st/I wasn’t on the field at that time, I was in charge of the book. And I probably still have my Little League’s record for most successful base appeals from the mound (as in, runner missed a base) with more than 1. (It was either that or watch my defense shit the bed.)

litre_cola

Nite all, see you tomorrow for Iggles and Richardson’s workers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Why yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

John Sterling about to have an orgasm on the air I bet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Artist depiction of NFL owners and management.

Dick E. Phuck

So do I blame this on the Yankees getting hot or a typical Cleveland sports choke job?

Horatio Cornblower

Both. Yanks got some really good pitching the last three games but in the last two the Indians played some really bad defensive ball.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Column A Column B

Dick E. Phuck

Fuck you, we’re winning the AL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Al is the worst one of those Coholism brothers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Good take. Now SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU PRETEND PARROT-HAVING MOTHERFUCKER!!!
/actually likes the Indians but Encarnacion still has that Blue Jays stink on him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Worst HR trot or dumbest HR trot? The answer is yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s Joey Bats’ body odor. It gets into everything.

Senor Weaselo

Odor didn’t body him, it was a jab to the face. Still you are correct.

Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees could win the WS and Odor punching that douche in the face will still be my favorite memory of the season.

Horatio Cornblower

Most people who travel to Cleveland will, like the Yankees, pack for other cites that they’d rather be in.

Senor Weaselo

-Senor visiting colleges

Horatio Cornblower

JUDGE DIDN’T STRIKE OUT!!!

Senor Weaselo

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Unfortunately it’s missing the line after it, “You didn’t do a violence!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

If you buy Baseball Prospectus’ analysis, the Yankees were much, much better than their record this year and this result shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Still, fuck the Yankees.

Horatio Cornblower

“If you buy Baseball Prospectus”

You lost me.

...

They do a bunch of stat-y stuff and by their analysis when adjusted for underlying stats and strength of opponents, this year’s Yankees were a ~105 win team.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s insane. In hindsight or at the beginning of the year?

...

Hindsight.

...

It also said the Indians were a 109 win talent team.

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/standings/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Still, fuck the Yankees.”

-Thomas Jonathan Jackson

Horatio Cornblower

Jackson had a bigger problem with his own men than the Yanks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Still, fuck the Yankees.”

–Thomas Jonathan Jackson

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just the once, that was enough though.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, Cleveland still has the Browns.

litre_cola

And they head for the exits.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So can we at least a real WOOOOOO!!!!! this time Senor?????

Senor Weaselo

Yes indeed. He’s gritty, he’s gutty, he’s Brett Gardner.
/WOO!

Horatio Cornblower

Gardner has swung at and fouled off 3 straight ball 4’s.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I feel for the dude; I mashed two just getting out of the car; hurt like hell.

Horatio Cornblower

Contrary to Vasgersian’s statement I suspect Aaron Judge would be just as happy if Gardner whiffed here and he didn’t have to strike out for a 5th time tonight.

Unsurprised

Baseball. You fucking weirdos.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Next year’s MLB promo slogan, right there.

Horatio Cornblower

This should be the banner through the World Series.

litre_cola

Would you rather talk futbol?
/crosses fingers
/know he doesn’t

Senor Weaselo

We can talk about the World Cup… wait.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m so glad they’e not going. Fuck Russia, Fuck FIFA, and Fuck Qatar.

...

Just wait until the tanker trump of bribes gets the 2026 edition awarded to U.S./Canada/Mexico.

Senor Weaselo

This is both an unfortunate typo and abso-fucking-lutely correct.

litre_cola

For 24 hours I have been enjoying the meltdowns and the taekery on #USMNT on twitter. It is ridiculous.

Horatio Cornblower

Did Smoltz really just try to suggest that the Indians did too much in their winning streak?

The fck?

...

Smoltz is dumb and that means something considering how much Ron Darling I’ve been listening to over the last week.

...

I really want to Chapman’s face smashed in here.

...

THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED

theeWeeBabySeamus

His girlfriend probably has said that a few times too.
(both things)

litre_cola

Horatio, Weaselo how are we feeling?

Senor Weaselo

Nervous.

Horatio Cornblower

Queasy. Not real thrilled with Chapman having to go 2. I do think it’s the only real option though.

Senor Weaselo

Okay, I might’ve considered Kahnle or Green…

Horatio Cornblower

Green yes, Kahnle did a lot in Game 4.

Brick Meathook

Here’s how you know you suck:
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve done that. Inside even. The last time I was testing servos on my Cessna 182 model, and inadvertently hit the throttle when I set the radio down. No shit, I have the scars to prove it.

Scared the fuck outta the cat too.

Senor Weaselo
Brick Meathook

But with a Cessna, right? Because this is twin-engine eight-foot-wingspan ‘It’s comin’ right at us!!’ suckitude.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, my Cessna wingspan is probably about half that. Sadly, I was seated in the floor in front of it when I hit the throttle, couldn’t move or get to the radio again in time. I have 3 parallel scars on my leg where the prop dug in before I got the situation handled.

Cat was sniffing plane at time because of the servos moving, but fortunately to the side and it missed her. But she went sailing over my head to get away while I was wrestling the plane into submission. In hindsight, it was rather funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, I’m building a glider right now (or was…it’s kinda been on hiatus for a few months).
No props, you see.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I never noticed before the Judge has Kramer hair.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

What? Eh, whatever.

/beats off

herodotus450

There’s a South Alabama?

...

For when Alabama just isn’t Alabama enough for you.

Shogun Marcus

Ain’t that like South Detroit?

Senor Weaselo

But that’s where you take the midnight train goin’ anywhere from!

Shogun Marcus

Ah yes, on fascination street.

litre_cola

I thought the midnight train was to Georgia? woo woo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit litre!!!!!!!!
😛

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, maybe not anywhere….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0F9lh8TiSM

herodotus450
Unsurprised

Woo!

LemonJello

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Goodnight all!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s just not fair, man. Not fair.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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See your tomorrow!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Ah yes, the old “You tried to sneak it in my butt, you scamp” look.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Meanwhile, in Saudi Arabia…

LemonJello

“Just come home and we can talk about this like adults. That sheep meant nothing. It’s YOU I LOVE!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just let her go. The pavement is going to end up abrading the camel toes anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice….. abraded toe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Notice how camel stays in lane better than 90% of US drivers.

SonOfSpam

It’s from Africa, not Asia.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

Poor Judge. Even when he sees 6 pitches and 4 of them are clearly balls he still gets called out on strikes.

Senor Weaselo

You’d think he has the high socks so they know where his knees are. Maybe he should wear thigh-highs?

Horatio Cornblower

Not sure who the ump is behind the plate but that first pitch to the the Indians this inning was a good 6″ off the plate and he called that a strike.

Senor Weaselo

He’s been giving inside towards the RH batter’s box, whoever it is. (It’s apparently Jeff Nelson, the umpire not the righty.)

Horatio Cornblower

I was just looking him up on the interwebs. He says that his strengths are balls and strikes and safe and out calls, which would make him a very good umpire.

Based on tonight, however, I would say that his greatest strength is a massive case of self-delusion, because he can’t call balls and strikes for shit.

Senor Weaselo

I would hope an umpire would think he’s okay on balls and strikes and safe and out calls. Because if not… fair or foul?

...

6″ off the plate?

God, I didn’t need to be reminded of my grandmother scolding me at Thanksgiving this soon.

Horatio Cornblower

Smoltz is beating that bag of cliches like it stole something.

LemonJello

Seems like there’s a lot of future Bears, Browns, 49ers and Shitty Football Clippers playing in this South Bama/Troy game.

in other words, it’s a real shit-show of a JV NFL game.

SonOfSpam

“Hi, I’m Troy University. You might remember me from, well, you probably don’t remember me.”

Senor Weaselo

Beating LSU? That’s about it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WHO’S A GOOD BOY? YOU’RE A GOOD BOY, THAT’S WHO!

Senor Weaselo

Who’s an apex predator? You are, oh yes you are!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

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SonOfSpam

Those shoes are wholly impractical for her profession.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She is there to avoid getting grouped.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

This Robocop remake is total shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Idiotcop; The Idioting.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

The dirt football playoffs have been very entertaining thus far. Now if only the Dodgers lose it would be fantastic.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I made my mother’s homemade spaghetti sauce tonight, with a few additions of my own, and it turned out:

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/164/127/331.png

SonOfSpam

That’s great use of our subsidy dollars, Jethro.

...

*extreme Reagan voice*

He’s a real Welfare Bean.

SonOfSpam

*switches to extreme Lennon voice*

Living off the welfare wean
Making stupid farming scenes
For nobody.

SonOfSpam

Wears a MAGA hat all day
Doesn’t know his son is gay
Thinks his taxes shouldn’t pay
For nobody.

...

*shoots someone in the middle of Central Park West*

SonOfSpam

Thank you. I had no idea how to end that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s gonna cut into the bean chip supply I guess.

herodotus450

I’m talking, beans

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I hope the farmer fucking dies.

Brick Meathook

Let’s go!
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theeWeeBabySeamus

In weather….expect a slight breeze today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I MUST RETURN TO MY PEOPLE NOW!

SonOfSpam

…aaaaaand the was the end of the Cessna Balsa XP project.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Blair Cessna Project?

WCS

Planey died on the way back to his home planet.

LemonJello

“I swear, I left it parked right here goddammit!”

Horatio Cornblower

You know what else is 8″ outside, Vasgersian? Me, naked in a cornfield, lying about the size of my erection, again, that’s what!

...

Usually we go for more subtle dick jokes, but ain’t nothing subtle about a Gentleman’s 8.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Corncob halfway out of your butt works and you don’t have to lie.

SonOfSpam

Also, you get to have a corncob in your butt.

Senor Weaselo

But only halfway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t want to lose it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That makes winners all around; especially the Facebook post before it gets taken down.

...

Go shuck yourself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am simply a husk of the man I used to be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

What happened to Sabathia? Was it insects? Thousands and thousands of flying insects coming off the Harlem River to carry him away and consume him? It was that, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Yes. Yes it was.

Brick Meathook

Did I get my fat Yankee pitchers mixed up?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Beer brewed in the north in large serving containers?

SonOfSpam

On the plus side, I saw Joba Chamberlain warming up.

...

He’s really happy they finally put that heat lamp in the valet area.

SonOfSpam

LOL like anyone would let him drive.

...

That’s why he said his name was Choba Jamberlain!

Senor Weaselo

It appears my sphincter has tightened.

litre_cola

Hit some Faces of Death hot sauce and it will loosen.

Horatio Cornblower

The last time I saw the Indians coming this fast Custer was dividing his forces.

Horatio Cornblower

Time to get that vaunted bullpen ready.

Just like in Game 2.
/drinks paint

LemonJello

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Senor Weaselo

Aaaand the bullpen is now warming up.