Your Sunday Morning/Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Yeah, I might as well acknowledge you folks out west for once. But only just this once! These football-specific threads are always good for several hundred comments but I must tell you, the Saturday JV football/Footy thread is coming along quite nicely. Yesterday was hilarious on many fronts. All Hail King Hippo! and his gracious hosting-ness. Seriously, if you find yourself doing not much more than scratching your balls, you should have a look-see. As for today we must, as always, go… TO THE GAMES!

SF/Was: The Neeners are looking for the upset on the road that isn’t going to happen. Perchance they can take advantage of Dacteds cb Norman not being available. Just kidding-that would require competent play from one Bobby Hoying. That guy on the end of my fantasy bench gets his first call. Rook rb Perine will get the majority of the carries with Kelley out.

Chi/Bal: The Truth Biscuit era begins its second week. Those that dare to watch can tell their bored-to-death grandkids that they were there. I’ve a notion that the Ravens D will be dialing up more than a few looks that will confuse the youngster. Bally ftw.

Cle/Hou: (“They don’t pay me enough to do some of these game intros!”) Guh. Where are we? Right. This could have been a battle of  the “How To Spell Your Qb’s First Name” but Kevin Hogan had to stick his nose in and ruin everything. HC Jackson, in his finite wisdom has decided that benching rook Kizer gives his team the best opportunity to ‘win’.

Mia/Atl: The Falcons have a shot at putting a bit of distance between themselves and Carolina in the NFC South today after booting their game vs. the Bills last week. That high-powered offense you keep reading about has only scored 15 more points than the D has given up. Miami? The most they’ve scored in a game this year is a measly 20.

Det/NO: The Saints have settled quite nicely into their inevitable 8-8 season by going 2-2 so far. You know the old saw-“You win some, you lose some, on alternating weeks for the duration of the season”. Puffy McStuffingface has actually thrown for one more TD (11) than the sentient robot arm that belongs to Drew Brees.

GB/Min: What is Aaron Rodgers going to do this week? I’ve no idea but I think the Packers are my new favourite one-man team.

NE/NYJ: The Jets are battling for first place six weeks into the season?! (“Try to use your words, scotchy”) I…this…NO!… (“Goddamnit!”) A certain Pats wr by the name of Chris Hogan has already surpassed his previous season-high for TD’s. He’s got 5 after just five games.

That’s all he wrote. Get crackin’, boys!

 

 

 

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bk109

Gotta go have dinner with the family, hopefully I’ll be back later to “graciously” provide a target to yer pats jokes…
*sods off into the sunset*

litre_cola

Sods off into the sunset? A Rodgers is interested.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[nods off into a tequila sunrise]

– Justin Blackmon

Doktor Zymm

Citing no other options, the NFL allows the Lions to win the NFC North

Redshirt

Face mask and Horse Collar at the same time? Impressive!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like one of those Mortal Kombat finishing moves.

Spur

Fuck Your Cheese!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Vegas: it’s not ALL madmen shooting into crowds from the upper stories of hotels!

Petronel

Oh seriously?

King Hippo

New front-runner to sign Kaep? He would actually fit the scheme ok there.

Gratliff

Looking forward to the “Citing literally no other options on the market for QB, Packers sign local deputy to 5 year deal” headlines

litre_cola

There is a lot of racist Mericans up in Green Bay.

Doktor Zymm

It IS the Midwest

King Hippo

ie, the racial attitudes of the South with a different accent

King Hippo

True, but they also have a fuckton to lose and Hundley not a viable option. Brissett would be, good luck getting Humps to trade him.

Shogun Marcus

There’s a lot of racist mericans. Geography is irrelevant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Salt of the earth” be white.

King Hippo

Fuck me, looks like an AC joint on Rodgers, don’t it?

The Maestro

he real ded

King Hippo

I’m thinking 6 weeks minimum, and u noe I’m a friendly neighbourhood quack

The Maestro

DeShaun Watson is a bad, bad man.

hippofant

Jabrill Peppers is a bad, bad safety.

King Hippo

I was super wrong about him, now he’s saving my money league squadron.

Doktor Zymm

Radishes are super weird

The Maestro

God fucking damn it. Get it together, Pats.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll give them another ten or so games, then they can; no hurry.

Spur

Go Jets!

Senor Weaselo

Patriots… lose a fumble? Is that even possible?

Smithchez

The Patriots fumbled….and DIDN’T RECOVER IT? This is fuckin’ weird.

Sharkbait

I…do not like this

JustStopDude
King Hippo

J-E-T-S!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Batman cartoons were different when I was a kid.

Redshirt

That was a weird, good movie.

Spur
Brocky

You’re not Julio jones

Asshole

Petronel

NINERS RECEIVING WHOOP WHOOP yeah the ‘quil will make this much more bearable

Doktor Zymm

On the plus (eh) side, this makes my Chiefs over Eagles championship a bit more likely

King Hippo

Are you a seer?

King Hippo

Related, I can’t help but notice that FalconBomb was not Julio Jones.

litre_cola

Ginn-down?

King Hippo

breaking goddamned tackles??

The Maestro

If Trump as President wasn’t proof enough already that we’re living in the Darkest Timeline, then Competent Ted Ginn is absolutely the final piece of the puzzle.

Doktor Zymm

So…Lions now have the majority of the talent in the NFC North? Wow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Rodgers gets carted off.
He’s is really trying to get that Flag.

Senor Weaselo

He’s not selling it unless he dies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07mBfR8erMY

Gratliff

Damn shame about Rodgers now that I’ve confirmed the Eagles don’t play Green Bay later this season.

Smithchez

It’s almost impossible, but somehow the Saints defense is even worse than their reputation suggests

Gratliff

I appreciate the respect shown as he attempted to shake Tate’s hand during that TD run

Redshirt

…and Rodgers’s on the cart.

King Hippo

Does the NFC have to enter a Superb Owl participant?

Gratliff

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Spur

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Gratliff

Holy shit, Aints ainting against the fucking Lions

Redshirt

Rodgers was hit after pass. Landed on his arm. Unsure if it is his throwing arm.

Redshirt

If he throws right, it is his throwing arm

King Hippo

“Golden Tate does what he does so well”

/cuckold Russell Wilson

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

Doktor Zymm

Wait what? No more Rodgers cuz he dead? Also, why does this have a caper on it? But I started 2 packers cause Rodgers!

Redshirt

Yup! The Packers are putting him behind the tarp they cover fallen horses on the track when they don’t want to euthanize them in front of the fans. He ded.

Senor Weaselo

“Hey, that was mine” -Shahid Khan

King Hippo

Can you filter teh gay out of glue? Asking FOAR a friend.

Shogun Marcus

Nah. He’ll return.
/sees the cart. Shit. Nope!

King Hippo

I hope your initial sentence was right, in all seriousness.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[didn’t see the play]

WHERE’S THE FLAG?

– Patriots fans

Gratliff

RIP 2017 Packers

Spur

This couldn’t happen two weeks ago?

King Hippo

Rodgers ded?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Not sure yet. If the doesn’t take the field next drive, then yeah. He ded.

Spur

He’s fine such a drama queen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Crap!

Spur

We are all Jets fans on this day.

bk109

Not all of us, no, for I am one of those [censored] [censored] P*ts fans.. Don’t worry,tho…

King Hippo

oh, so the new guy seems ok for a few weeks, WCS even lets him wash his car

bk109

Think of me as the token “sane”(ish) and “reasonable” (debatable) Pats fan on the site… That or the designated recipient for the “Har-Har”.gif’s when we lose this one 😀

King Hippo

Hey, we even let Maestro have author rights. After an extensive vetting process.

Petronel

Niners fan first, Pats fan by marriage, and dont’ hate A.A. ROn.

This may not be the best day of football I’ve ever had…

Senor Weaselo

7-0… Jets? That can’t be right.

Doktor Zymm

I am too drunk for Japanese food. This shit is complicated. Imma just gonna shove it in my mouth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

This is basically how I remember Philadelphia, yes

Doktor Zymm

This is a whole roasted chestnut with sesame seeds on it, and sea urchin, and eel and udon noodles and I don’t even know

Petronel

Do they give you chopsticks, or has the TSA decided they’re too dangerous?

Doktor Zymm

It’s first class, I get real knives up in here

Petronel

….would you actually need the knife for that? Yeah, just stuff face manually, chopsticks for the udon. Either way, it’s first class, so whatever.

Redshirt

Who stole the Browns uniforms?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

From what I can gather, the Jets aren’t Jetsing, but are doing good? And the niners are the niners. Yes?

Petronel

Dunno about the Jets;, but correct about the Niners. (Welcome to it, by the way…)

Bogdanski

GB on the tv in SD: that’s good
Can’t drink because I have to pick up my wife at the airport in 5 hours: that’s bad
Wife coming home after leaving me with a 3 and 1 year old for 9 of the last 14 days: that’s good
The drinking that will commence later: let’s just say my liver is cursed.