Yeah, I might as well acknowledge you folks out west for once. But only just this once! These football-specific threads are always good for several hundred comments but I must tell you, the Saturday JV football/Footy thread is coming along quite nicely. Yesterday was hilarious on many fronts. All Hail King Hippo! and his gracious hosting-ness. Seriously, if you find yourself doing not much more than scratching your balls, you should have a look-see. As for today we must, as always, go… TO THE GAMES!
SF/Was: The Neeners are looking for the upset on the road that isn’t going to happen. Perchance they can take advantage of Dacteds cb Norman not being available. Just kidding-that would require competent play from one Bobby Hoying. That guy on the end of my fantasy bench gets his first call. Rook rb Perine will get the majority of the carries with Kelley out.
Chi/Bal: The Truth Biscuit era begins its second week. Those that dare to watch can tell their bored-to-death grandkids that they were there. I’ve a notion that the Ravens D will be dialing up more than a few looks that will confuse the youngster. Bally ftw.
Cle/Hou: (“They don’t pay me enough to do some of these game intros!”) Guh. Where are we? Right. This could have been a battle of the “How To Spell Your Qb’s First Name” but Kevin Hogan had to stick his nose in and ruin everything. HC Jackson, in his finite wisdom has decided that benching rook Kizer gives his team the best opportunity to ‘win’.
Mia/Atl: The Falcons have a shot at putting a bit of distance between themselves and Carolina in the NFC South today after booting their game vs. the Bills last week. That high-powered offense you keep reading about has only scored 15 more points than the D has given up. Miami? The most they’ve scored in a game this year is a measly 20.
Det/NO: The Saints have settled quite nicely into their inevitable 8-8 season by going 2-2 so far. You know the old saw-“You win some, you lose some, on alternating weeks for the duration of the season”. Puffy McStuffingface has actually thrown for one more TD (11) than the sentient robot arm that belongs to Drew Brees.
GB/Min: What is Aaron Rodgers going to do this week? I’ve no idea but I think the Packers are my new favourite one-man team.
NE/NYJ: The Jets are battling for first place six weeks into the season?! (“Try to use your words, scotchy”) I…this…NO!… (“Goddamnit!”) A certain Pats wr by the name of Chris Hogan has already surpassed his previous season-high for TD’s. He’s got 5 after just five games.
That’s all he wrote. Get crackin’, boys!
Gotta go have dinner with the family, hopefully I’ll be back later to “graciously” provide a target to yer pats jokes…
*sods off into the sunset*
Sods off into the sunset? A Rodgers is interested.
[nods off into a tequila sunrise]
– Justin Blackmon
Citing no other options, the NFL allows the Lions to win the NFC North
That lutefisk bribe to Goodell was a serious miscalculation on the part of the Vikings braintrust.
You can’t stop Drew Brees’ robot arm, you can only hope to short circuit it.
Face mask and Horse Collar at the same time? Impressive!
It’s like one of those Mortal Kombat finishing moves.
Fuck Your Cheese!
Vegas: it’s not ALL madmen shooting into crowds from the upper stories of hotels!
Oh seriously?
New front-runner to sign Kaep? He would actually fit the scheme ok there.
Looking forward to the “Citing literally no other options on the market for QB, Packers sign local deputy to 5 year deal” headlines
There is a lot of racist Mericans up in Green Bay.
It IS the Midwest
ie, the racial attitudes of the South with a different accent
True, but they also have a fuckton to lose and Hundley not a viable option. Brissett would be, good luck getting Humps to trade him.
There’s a lot of racist mericans. Geography is irrelevant.
“Salt of the earth” be white.
Fuck me, looks like an AC joint on Rodgers, don’t it?
he real ded
I’m thinking 6 weeks minimum, and u noe I’m a friendly neighbourhood quack
I’m not a doctor but I’ve never heard of an air-conditioner joint.
DeShaun Watson is a bad, bad man.
Jabrill Peppers is a bad, bad safety.
I was super wrong about him, now he’s saving my money league squadron.
Radishes are super weird
I think they’re a legume.
God fucking damn it. Get it together, Pats.
I’ll give them another ten or so games, then they can; no hurry.
Go Jets!
Kids are present and accounted-have been given pizza money, wife is in Toronto, beer and scotch have been acquired. Let’s do this yet again.
Patriots… lose a fumble? Is that even possible?
The Patriots fumbled….and DIDN’T RECOVER IT? This is fuckin’ weird.
I…do not like this
https://youtu.be/1iAYhQsQhSY
J-E-T-S!!!
Batman cartoons were different when I was a kid.
That was a weird, good movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs
You’re not Julio jones
Asshole
NINERS RECEIVING WHOOP WHOOP yeah the ‘quil will make this much more bearable
On the plus (eh) side, this makes my Chiefs over Eagles championship a bit more likely
From your drunken lips to Goodell’s trust fund ears…
Are you a seer?
GinnjrDown!
/I hate GinnjrDowns
Related, I can’t help but notice that FalconBomb was not Julio Jones.
Ginn-down?
breaking goddamned tackles??
If Trump as President wasn’t proof enough already that we’re living in the Darkest Timeline, then Competent Ted Ginn is absolutely the final piece of the puzzle.
So…Lions now have the majority of the talent in the NFC North? Wow.
“Oh yeah, what about this Aints?”
-Lions D
Rodgers gets carted off.
He’s is really trying to get that Flag.
He’s not selling it unless he dies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07mBfR8erMY
Damn shame about Rodgers now that I’ve confirmed the Eagles don’t play Green Bay later this season.
Taterdown?
It’s almost impossible, but somehow the Saints defense is even worse than their reputation suggests
I appreciate the respect shown as he attempted to shake Tate’s hand during that TD run
…and Rodgers’s on the cart.
Looks like his tossing arm.
Does the NFC have to enter a Superb Owl participant?
Sorry, those are the rules.
Holy shit, Aints ainting against the fucking Lions
Rodgers was hit after pass. Landed on his arm. Unsure if it is his throwing arm.
If he throws right, it is his throwing arm
“Golden Tate does what he does so well”
/cuckold Russell Wilson
Nice.
Wait what? No more Rodgers cuz he dead? Also, why does this have a caper on it? But I started 2 packers cause Rodgers!
Yup! The Packers are putting him behind the tarp they cover fallen horses on the track when they don’t want to euthanize them in front of the fans. He ded.
“Hey, that was mine” -Shahid Khan
Can you filter teh gay out of glue? Asking FOAR a friend.
Nah. He’ll return.
/sees the cart. Shit. Nope!
I hope your initial sentence was right, in all seriousness.
[didn’t see the play]
WHERE’S THE FLAG?
– Patriots fans
RIP 2017 Packers
This couldn’t happen two weeks ago?
Rodgers ded?
Not sure yet. If the doesn’t take the field next drive, then yeah. He ded.
He’s fine such a drama queen.
???
Crap!
We are all Jets fans on this day.
Not all of us, no, for I am one of those [censored] [censored] P*ts fans.. Don’t worry,tho…
oh, so the new guy seems ok for a few weeks, WCS even lets him wash his car
Think of me as the token “sane”(ish) and “reasonable” (debatable) Pats fan on the site… That or the designated recipient for the “Har-Har”.gif’s when we lose this one 😀
Hey, we even let Maestro have author rights. After an extensive vetting process.
Niners fan first, Pats fan by marriage, and dont’ hate A.A. ROn.
This may not be the best day of football I’ve ever had…
7-0… Jets? That can’t be right.
I am too drunk for Japanese food. This shit is complicated. Imma just gonna shove it in my mouth.
This is basically how I remember Philadelphia, yes
This is a whole roasted chestnut with sesame seeds on it, and sea urchin, and eel and udon noodles and I don’t even know
Do they give you chopsticks, or has the TSA decided they’re too dangerous?
It’s first class, I get real knives up in here
….would you actually need the knife for that? Yeah, just stuff face manually, chopsticks for the udon. Either way, it’s first class, so whatever.
Who stole the Browns uniforms?
From what I can gather, the Jets aren’t Jetsing, but are doing good? And the niners are the niners. Yes?
Dunno about the Jets;, but correct about the Niners. (Welcome to it, by the way…)
GB on the tv in SD: that’s good
Can’t drink because I have to pick up my wife at the airport in 5 hours: that’s bad
Wife coming home after leaving me with a 3 and 1 year old for 9 of the last 14 days: that’s good
The drinking that will commence later: let’s just say my liver is cursed.