NFL News:
- Ezekiel Elliott gets to play Sunday against the [Redacteds].
- The NFL was denied an expedited preliminary injunction in advance of the October 30th hearing into their appeal of the injunction related to a different appeal.
- The earliest Zeke can be sidelined is November 5th.
- The NFL was denied an expedited preliminary injunction in advance of the October 30th hearing into their appeal of the injunction related to a different appeal.
Vontaze Burfict will not be suspended for his kick to the helmet Sunday into Steeler’s RB Roosevelt Nix.
- He’ll probably just be fined.
- FYI – whatever happened to KSK Kommenter Vontaze Me Bro? Is he hanging with Otto Man? Wither Sarah Sprague?
- Texans LT Duane Brown has ended his holdout, and expects to play & not be traded.
- He wanted out of the remaining two years of his deal, feeling his efforts were under-appreciated (i.e. – money).
- Key injuries from Sunday:
- Joe Thomas (Browns) – torn triceps. Prognosis: done for year.
- Jay Cutler (Dolphins) – cracked ribs. Prognosis: out indefinitely.
- Matt Slauson (Chargers) – torn biceps. Prognosis: done for year.
Finally, in case you didn’t see it (HA!), lots of people had fun with last night’s Fog Bowl II.
There were the serious,
Fog Bowl 1988
Fog Bowl 2017 pic.twitter.com/iUsAGJK0Ij— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) October 23, 2017
the serious,
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/922278080974086145
the ridiculous,
I can't be the only one who saw the Patriots assistant buying the fog machine at Party City Friday. Just can't be
— Anthony Gulizia (@AnthonyGulizia) October 23, 2017
and the idiotic.
FOG=3 letters
Take the alphabet and configure the letters to numbers
take F(6)+ O(15)+G(7) =28
Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in #SB51 pic.twitter.com/PBihZ5T08U
— Patriots Militia (@PatsMilitia) October 23, 2017
Sometimes, when he’s bored, Internet Dad will let me clear out the spam filter, because he knows I have no credit cards and thus can’t be swindled into paying for whatever boondoggle is offered our way. (Pfft – “Help Puerto Rico”?) After all, it’s important to keep people like Russians & carpet dealers from interrupting our enjoyment of dick jokes & Moose gifs.
Last night, however, we were almost treated to this in the Open Thread
I had so many questions: (sadly, not 25)
- Who were these girls?
- Where were they incarcerated?
- How desperate are they?
Sadly, what I thought was a clickbait-dream turned out to be nothing more than a spam site offering cheat-codes for a fee. Why, it wasn’t even worth running around the school board filter to try & access. TRY HARDER, COMMIES!
Game preview: Washington at Philadelphia
It seems funny now that this game is, for all intents, probably the deciding game for the NFC East this season. The Ginats have been out of it since Week-3, and the Cowboys are reverting to the 8-8 Jason Garrett mean. If Washington has any hope of making the playoffs as a wild card (at minimum), they need to go into the Eagles house & smash in their teeth like the Eagles did to them Opening Sunday.
Carson Wentz has blossomed into a possible real-deal in his second year under Doug Pederson. The offence has been expanded each week, as Wentz’s skill set shows he’s ready for a broader range of QB options. Receivers like Alshon Jeffrey & Torrey Smith help compensate for the learning curve, and Zach Ertz has become the Eagles’ Travis Kelce as Wentz’s reliable check-down option. The defence is solid yet unremarkable, as they really have yet to be tested; the hardest game they’ve had was against Carolina, and they bounced Newton all over that field.
Meanwhile, future-other-team’s QB Kirk Cousins is both playing for bonuses & auditioning for roles elsewhere, so look for him to sling the ball all over the field, to whomever’s healthy enough to be in the lineup. And speaking of healthy, there’s no Josh Norman for the foreseeable future, so good luck covering the deep route. All they can really hope for is to run the ball & eat the clock, because they will lose an air war with the Eagles.
Prediction: Eagles by 10.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Washington at Philadelphia – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en espanol en ESPN2
- Washington at Philadelphia – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NHL:
- Sharks at Rangers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Raptors at Spurs – 8:30PM | TSN2
- WWE
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- last night’s PPV was a schmozz due to viral meningitis & mumps bringing down a bunch of scheduled wrestlers, so they have to work their replacements into the canon. Or not. Either way, it ought to be a blast figuring out.
- Also, they’d better follow-up on this:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
FOR EVERYONE’S SAKE!
Raining like a sumbitch here in the Shenandoah Valley.
I don’t feel well, but that’s probably because I had lunch at a truck stop Dennys, not because of this game
Isn’t truck stop Denny’s sort of redundunct?
Just wait ’til you experience casino Denny’s.
Where I habitate, the Dennys are all located next to La Quinta Motor Inns. In fact, “La Quinta” translates, at least in TX, to “Next to Denny’s.”
it can be two things
/I have had Denny’s twice in last 15 yrs, been HuntaAIDS sick twice
Truck stop Denny’s? Specializing in engine block eggs.
The game keeps going this well, and Wentz is going to earn a 21 Triple-A cell salute from an adoring home crowd. The only people going home sad will be the ones who brought the D-cell salute.
Isn’t it vice-versa? The Stone of Triumph is larger than the Stone of Shame.
I am pretty fucking drunk, yessir
DJ Swearinger is kinfolk to Al Swearengen’s illegitimate love child from back before Deadwood days.
(I probably made this up)
I blame your new pipe.
Just between you and me, that thing has already paid for itself this past weekend.
And I’m giggling at the Marley mini grinder some still too.
Money well spent.
Wu….Swedgin….HANGDAI!!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjGXHAbGS1w
Holding the ball like a kalamata olive
Nothing but respect for MY MVP.
The capital of North Dakota is Bismarck
i thought it was Hitler?
Has a great pizza place next to a brewery downtown.
He’s a witch!
Spurs win, got a bit scary there for a sec.
Carson Wentz may be legit
How did he do that?
JESUS
Okay, that was awesome.
The fuck?
4 quarters means 4 libations. #NoQuartersOff
This is sort of like chess,the teams keep trading pieces via injury. A left tackle is the rook I think
Jon Gruden is the nerdy kid making sure the coaches use the time clocks correctly.
I would not trade Jason Peters for Brandon Scherff.
To piggyback on Spur’s suckout story, I won despite starting the Chefs’ D (negative 7).
‘Twas an odd week to be sure.
Goddamn Jordan Reed is good. I wish I didn’t feel so guilty enjoying his play cause of all his concussions
Cousins’ Dawson’s Creek beard is coming along nicely.
+1 Pacey
[Salty complaint about the free yard they gave Kurt on the first down scramble]
Jordan Reed can forever get fucked.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Walking off, wincing like all hell, 2 weeks?
I’m down by 0.21, I hope your swing tackle is prettay…prettay good, Dok
When I hear them say Ioannidis, my brain fills in Laurinaitis, and then OOOH WHAT A RUSH
“We snack on danger, dine on death, and dead men don’t make money. Tell ’em Hawk!”
“Weeeeeeeeeell!…If I were you, I wouldn’t be. The life you save may be your very own. Tell ’em, Paul.”
Awesome.
Pretty solid “Fuck” picked up by the parabolic mic there.
yeah, i heard that too
Oh fuck, it’s hard to play football without an O-line
Yet the Seahawks still insist.
something about jet fuel not melting steel beams, yada yada
My phone is dying. As in need a new phone dying but goddamnit this has been an amazing trip.
SKOL Minneapolis. Motherfucking SKOL.
Goddamn it’s cold out there.
It was a balmy 100+ here today.
I politely disagree with your definition of cold, but as you’ve been away a while I understand.
It was sleeting a bit at the rest stop I stopped at in ‘Wyoming’
Should’ve challenged that bullshit spot on the scramble
Hey!!!! TV is back!!!
Cousins looks skeert. Damn, he nailed that throw though.
I miss rookie RG3
LMA looks skinner and meaner. i love it.
Spurs jerseys should have HEB patches.
I’m sure that’s coming someday. Weird thing is, HEB rides the Mavs and Rockets dicks in their respective markets as well.
So, probably the highlight of all the radio I’ve listened to recently was Alan Page on ‘wait wait don’t tell me’
He thought ‘purple people eaters’ was a dumb nickname cause they weren’t purple and didn’t eat people. Also, he writes kids books with his grandkid now
“But what if they DID?” – Chad O. (nee J.), Cincinnati, OH
Spurs by 3 with 5 mintues to go.
Better contest, with new HEB commercials to boot!
Not in Canada. Same five shitty ads; only variation is their order.
Molson. LaBatt’s, Moosehead…what are the other two?
Canadian Tire. Tim Hortons.
This stupid fucking Source commercial can go away as well.
20 turnovers and still in it.
That was a big push, LMA’s bound to get ejected.
Edit, yay he didn’t!
4 points shy, Jesus fuck Cousins, you suck all the ass
“….OWWWWWWwwwww…”
“I’ll be out of traction in a few weeks, and I have happy pills. Leave a little bit FOAR ME?”
Why does Allen have the rape sweater?
Did he just say there is a song called fresh?
make with the points so I can pass out, dingleberry
Do I have to watch baseball tomorrow?
Naw, watch some hockey instead.
No. The Yankees are out, so there’s no one to hate.
beating Bahstahn and New Yawk was all that was required, ye Texas folk are liberated
I will go against the grain and state unequivocally …. HELL YES YOU HAVE TO WATCH.
Might never happen again in your lifetime/fandom. Don’t fuck around with it. Trust me.
Okay, it didn’t happen in the first 5 minutes which is good, but I’m still unhappy with the progression of this game
MAYBE NEXT YEAR, SLURS
Aw, thanks for the optimism about DCs offseason!
I kind of miss the McNabb era when the [*Redacted] s would back all the trucks full of money up only to be eliminated by the bye.
I don’t miss that, but it was admittedly a rich vein of humor
SHHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTT
pretty impressive
2nd nobody TD!
Oh dear god. Vaitai’s back in.
So what’s been going on with the game type thing, man?
So far so good, except for Jason Peters probably being done forever.
Cool. Not for him though I guess.
Rain’s letting up soon I think. Yay DirecTV.
I guess Mark Trestmans Windowless Van finally went on his rampage.
Aw fuck. I come back to no Jason Peters. RIP what should be a first ballot HoF career.
When did Aglohor buy some hands?
Ow, yeah, that’s some ligaments, knees don’t bend that way 🙁
I wonder what a chair would look like if they did?
WHOA
More creative arm and foot rest placement?
Yes! I had this same thought but was too lazy to look it up. You awesome
So the new ambassador to Canadia from you folk is a coal magnates wife who said that she believes both sides of climate science.
How did she ever get past the Kochs?
They never figured girls knew science.
I sorta believe both sides of climate science. I believe the Earth is warming, but I don’t think our models are anywhere near sophisticated enough to predict such a complex phenomenon. Also, I don’t actually care because I have no investment in the continuation of the human species after my death
I gotta admit that’s one of the more intelligent takes on global war…I mean, climate change, I’ve ever heard.
I have to care though, because I have no intention of ever dying.
I expect to get taken out by the first pack of feral Cub Scouts that comes marauding through my neighborhood, once we finally make the transition to Mad Max world.