Just so you know, I set this thread up before heading down to Seattle for the [Redacteds] v. Seahawks game Sunday. My brother has promised copious beverages, and thanks to the handsome bastard BOLTMAN refers to as Low Commander I have coupons for assorted Seattle breweries to choose from as well. So while you’re Open Threading Sunday & not eating pizza, I’ll be brewery-hopping & not eating pizza.
Together, we can bring down the pizza oligarchs that secretly run this continent. Oil barons are just a front.
Well, let’s see who’ll be costing Papa John’s revenue today: (courtesy 506sports.com)
CBS EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Denver @ Philadelphia | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
| █ | Baltimore @ Tennessee | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
| █ | Indianapolis @ Houston | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
| █ | Cincinnati @ Jacksonville | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
With word Thursday that DeShaun Watson may have Bridgewater’d himself, the Colts-Texans game sure looks like a lock for “Dog of the Week” on CBS. Ain’t nobody ordering pizza for that.
Unless they sign Kaep. OMG – Matt McGloin is now a Texan. That’s worth a laugh, not a slice.
CBS LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Kansas City @ Dallas | Jim Nantz, Tony Romo |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX | |
This…this should actually be a pizza-worthy game. I believe it’s also Romo’s first visit home in the booth, so expect the over/under on JERRAH stories to be 7.5. Plenty of Jim Nantz guffawing is sure to accompany.
FOX SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Atlanta @ Carolina | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
| █ | LA Rams @ NY Giants | Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber |
| █ | Tampa Bay @ New Orleans | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
| █ | Washington @ Seattle (LATE) | Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis |
| █ | Arizona @ San Francisco (LATE) | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
Actually, not too many dogs on this schedule. Only the Cards-Niners game, but that’ll just leave us hard for next week, when the Bay Area is hit by an outbreak of Garappolio.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Leafs at Blues – 7:00PM | CBC
- Habs at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Penguins at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
- CFL:
- Eskimos at Roughriders – 7:00PM | TSN
- Argos at Lions – 10:00PM | TSN
- NCAA: (of note)
- Nevada at Boise State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Texas at TCU – 7:15PM | ESPN
- Minnesota at Michigan – 7:30PM | FOX
- LSU at Alabama – 8:00PM | CBS
- Virginia Tech at Miami – 8:00PM | ABC
- Oregon at Washington – 10:00PM | FS1
- Arizona at Southern California – 10:45PM | ESPN
- BYU at Fresno State – 10:45PM | ESPN2
- UFC 217 Prelims:
- Bisping vs. St-Pierre: From MSG – 8:00PM | FS1 / TSN5
Wherever you are, you kings & queens, teens & tweens, please enjoy your Saturday night. THAT’S AN ORDER!
You know what breaks really easy? Incandescent lightbulbs. Good thing they’re obsolete anyway.
Theoretically, there has to be a tipping point where putting more and more veggies on a pizza will eventually make it healthy. Where do you think that is?
The last one wasn’t bad. This’un, though…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_rCRgu9qTg
Curiosity got the better of me again.
My FF team name was not accidental, you see.
What percentage of teenagers do you think would be desperate enough to get drunk off of only Campari, if that was all they were able to steal from their parent’s liquor cabinets?
All of my HS friends, if that’s of any help.
(huh, that probably explains a lot about me)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF45jk0_SJc
fuck you im not refreshing this time and you dont even get capital letters or punctuation until youve learned your lesson
I’m just gonna pretend that’s really sophisticated graffiti
Sometimes you don’t have time to finish the work. One has to prioritize.
So, I usually unpack pretty quickly, and it’s because I’m kinda compulsive about it. Just finished putting away bed linens and a couple bathrobes. Very happy to be reunited with my bathrobe collection!
Sad. Should be Executed NOW. SAD.
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Respect Zeus’ Wrath
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbckIuT_YDc
Now I really am gonna get baked before Hippo succeeds in getting my brains on the ceiling before I get a chance to turn the clocks back.
Heheheheheehe….it took me a second to see it.
Aw c’mon man. Already a little down. Don’t make me drink more.
/drinks more
Damn you and/or my crippling (not yet) alcoholism
ME????????????????????????
Holy shit, how do I always get blamed for everything?
But what if I just really need a doctor to check out my ears, nose and throat?
If “safe word” is in the conversation, those orifices you mentioned are probably the least of your worries. Well, 2 out of 3 anyway.
It’s just your thing. Like beating off to Bass Pro Shop catalogs.
I’ll have you know I beat off to Women’s Day magazine, thank you very much.
“Hey baby, those are some tasty looking canapes*, appropriate for a small gathering”
*Not a euphemism
Of course. Ladies Home Journal too. I mean, we all have a baseline.
that perch was ASKING FOAR IT
Hey!!! I almost never say that.
Is crippling alcoholism something you can get one of those scooters from the government for?
Oh I got me a HOVEROUND. And you are paying for it.
He played this in DET
ok, was being too upbeat, and perhaps…too ethnic??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2MnJGBpSR4
Fuck you, can’t even sang…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHkRHiEjt8I
Are you forgetting your heritage? Glen Campbell, dammit.
/raises fist
Judd Nelson vs. Tommie Smith. Discuss.
Every DST, I look back and reflect on how grateful I am to no longer work in an industry that requires early Sunday morning shifts
DST is weird for various jobs. Most bartenders I know love the fall one, cause it’s an extra hour of tips from people who have been drinking an extra hour
I’ve also held jobs where I worked through it. It is so much more punishing for first shift, though.
Imma unpack this drink I made. It goes in my mouth
Please to explain further. Drink is what?
Rye and soda. I ran out to the liquor store once my back started to hurt from unpacking
Excellent. Take care of your back. You only get one I think.
It’s all good, just tired. I have pretty decent lifting/moving shit around posture. But it was for sure a cue to sit down and drink.
I should just set my clocks back now, right?
I already has
Once I get settled, I actually make a point to keep about half my clocks on each time.
What what what!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlRV2N8s_IQ
From the last season of The Leftovers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTXeg-Swq9w
I mean they is anal fissures and they is ANAL FISSURES
You keep it up and you won’t have to worry about suicide. You’re really irritating me now.
Of course now I’m about to go watch that fucking hotel fight clip again now.
Which will really improve my mood.
You have failed me.
I am still really mad they copped out and left Laurie alive. NAWT FAYUH to the character arc. My hairdresser said “I knew you’d be mad.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opbUESNnCe0
Greetings from let’s say Mexico fellas.
Pacifico is plentiful. Everything else is overpriced. Tourists are awful. Americans are awful.
It’s warm and humid and poor here unless you’re where I am, then it’s tacky and expensive.
I love this and hate this and need to keep drinking to deal, thus my life is all this.
Miss y’all.
Just drink until your vision blurs everything into averages
First two days here, without corporate people, were kinda great. Now I hate everything and everyone. But your advice is being followed to an extreme.
Salud!
Kill everyone, you were with us the whole time.
Selfie at grandmas! Hooray!
No adapters tho.
Because what’s charging your phone without the risk of fire or electrocution or fusing the circuit?
Did we lose MTWV?
A couple of us made mention of that recently. He has been MIA for a while.
I’m even more concerned about entropy, fwiw.
Life happens and can get busy, hopefully it’s just that. Sadly no way to really tell without being creepy.
As far as I can tell, he hasn’t been in the local news for any familial murderings, so that’s good.
My grandma was an awesome lady, but she really hoarded doilies. I have a doily under my X-Box, under my monitor, wii, etc. You get the picture. Lots of doilies. Also, turns out that if you spill vodka on a starched doily the starch leaches out and fucks up the finish on your wood furniture. THANKS DOILY!
MOAR Lykke!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7iLERCEznI
Do I have to think about earthquakes when I’m storing my glassware, or is it just all going to break whatever I do and I should chill and have another drink? Should I have another drink regardless of the answers to the rest of that? Yes.
Depends on the magnitude and the type of glass.
Your stemware is pretty much fucked without bubble wrap regardless tho, so don’t even fret there.
Drink more and it won’t matter as much tho.
It’s not a china cabinet, it’s a future source of broken glass to top my fence with!
That will come in handy for extra security to protect your stuff after the big one hits.
I love a good plan.
My brother’s cats jump on his bed whenever there’s an earthquake. They enjoy it.
Heavy suicide-y material? HERE YA GO!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3P2o5gryfs
Gotta say; the funeral didn’t go too smoothly.
Hey guys, it happened again!!!!!! Back it up!!!!!!
I snickered.
*not the candy bar.
Good to see that RichRod’s pattern of simply awful special teams still lives.
OK, so while Hippo does his best to Jamestown us all tonight, Imma go get baked.
If I’m drinking the Kool-aid, I’m going out HAF.
BRB
Sorry….Jonestown.
Maybe I better not get baked after all.
Jamestown? He’s going to get us all disappeared by Native Americans?
(they’s People’s Temple footage here, this chick be weird and I love her):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAM9diyVRiM
Shut up. I caught the mistake and managed to even not edit my stupidity so you could have fun with it.
You should be thanking me.
Oh and…
Croatan me? CROATAN YOU!!!!!!
(see i know history, i just fucked up)
And I misspelled it.
Fuck me, I quit.
The latter is a good idea.
Agreed but…
/shuts mouth
Don’t worry; I’m old too.
There’s an after photo where he’s fallen on his face, right?
A thing I’m proud of : I own a large brass candlestick you could legit bludgeon someone to death with, Clue style
So…. Dok Zymm, in the Hall, with the Candlestick.
I win.
If Dok’s gonna bludgeon someone to death, a safe bet location-wise would likely be a pub or similar establishment.
Nah, I don’t wanna make trouble for my local publican. Most places like that have a back alley.
If she’d made the move sooner, it could have been Dok Zymm, in Candlestick, with the Candlestick.
Oh yeah? I own a real 1920’s working Western Electric candlestick phone that you could legit bludgeon someone to death with and then use to call a lawyer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJ0sP57ywU
Chris Cornell should have just written these lyrics in Detroit.
he knew the depths of the human experience, and that’s not an easy thing to know
Who needs an inflatable donut for life? YOU NEED AN INFLATABLE DONUT FOR LIFE!!!!!
Considering the very large amount of stuff I’ve accumulated over the years, this has been a relatively painless move. They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy a whole lot of less awfulness.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mGWJ9f1rIio&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJJT00wqlOo
Now that the Rams are better, the fans are coming out of the woodwork.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!!
I wanna get a look at her face first but….
Oh, you meant….
I love ya man, but you really suck sometimes.
ALWAYS!!!!
The divorce is final.
I only gave it two years, anyway.
War of the Roses didn’t have a happy ending. Ppl forget that.
well to me, a happy movie is liek Reservoir Dogs, everybody ded at el fin. Makes me feel better.
Point in favor of the new place, there’s a really nice BevMo across the street and they got coupons!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8
Some breakages, and they weren’t able to put my bed frame together cause some of the holes are too worn. I know how to fix that with toothpicks, but no idea where my toothpicks are. I will assemble the bed frame whenever I’ve got loads of other crap put away and have room to put my mattress in the living room while assembly happens.
Mattress + floor = sleep.
or pretty much anywhere, if zombie apocalypse
It’s even better than that, I got sheets and pillows!
Did you find the electric can opener?
There’s a stray cat or two in the neighborhood. I heard ’em this morning, but no idea if it was fighting, fucking, or getting hit by a car or dog or what.
The Dame just got back from the Greek Festival with her Pops and brought me a big bag of Koulourakia, my favourite cookie of all time.
She deserves a special reward at bedtime, by that I mean I’ll probably sleep on the couch.
Got all my crap in my new place, and got a decent amount of stuff put away. My back is tired and I’m tired and I’ve gotten loads done today, so I am very happily sitting down with a rye and soda, in a glass I didn’t buy at Walmart to get me through the last week!
L’Chaim!
Mazel Tov!!!!!!!
I don’t think he’s doing that right, you gotta wrap it all the way around so you don’t have to clean up shards
The kids knew he meant it when Old Man Henkle said “GET OFF MY LAWN!”
R.I.P. Little Billy.
So they finally caught an Antifa Supersoldier on film
oh noes isn’t 2nite the nite they killz all teh white ppl??
“THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE LEFT THE DEEP STATE AND THE LEFTIST FASCISTS TURN FROGS GAY! WAKE UP, PEOPLE! IT’S ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! THIS IS GENUINE, VERIFIED TRUTH FROM MY CONTACTS AT THE HEAD OF THE CIA AND DIA! IT’S ALL OBAMA! EVEN NOW! I’M LAYING IT ALL OUT THERE! YOU CAN ONLY SURVIVE OFF THE RATIONS AND FOOD SOLD ON MY WEBSITE!!!!!”
— Alex Jones
To hell with dental premiums, I gots ammo to buy!
Guy probably used to rob banks in the ’30s. “Here’s how we did it, kid.”
Score fast, Oh-ray-gawne
No; I don’t believe pollution is really a problem; why do you ask?
#NaturalSelection
My new ciropractor’s methods are odd, but the results are fantastic.
Good night for catching up on the indies. Never not impressed at everything Keith Lee does. Shame he didn’t start blowing up until he was in his 30’s. Almost no chance he’ll get signed to WWE and tear it up for 3 weeks before saying or doing something problematic that’ll piss off Twitter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwyCKNw7FMY
fuckin’ Stormin Mormons.
How was your flight? Pt. 2:
These guys around me kept complaining about taking up their arm space. Dick heads.
Hey, speaking of which; where DID the arm rest go?
Oh, never mind.
Ugh, I had so much beer and BBQ tonight that I feel like Andy Reid if Andy Reid had the capacity to feel full and/or shame
How did you handle the last two minutes of your feeding frenzy?
Nice.
Yes, I saw Ohio State get their Buckeyes cracked, and to be honest, I’m not angry. If anything I’m relieved. I always knew they weren’t as great as everyone said, so at least its known so we can move on.
Its almost like watching a family member taking a job they can’t do or buying a house they can’t afford. You tell them they shouldn’t do it, but of course they don’t listen. When you finally hear they were fired or evicted, you’re not upset; you’re just content that it finally happened.
You voluntarily went to the state of Iowa?
No way. I have visited Michigan. I have visited Pennsylvania. I have even visited New Jersey. But not Iowa.
I saw it on TV. I quit to watch Thor 3. Watching the Goddess of Death earn her namesake was kind of cathartic in multiple ways.
3:30 window sucked for all but Spur
I disagree.
oh yeah, sorry forgots that one
Death of a cub; the beginning.
Quint Kessenich morphed into Jason Bateman so gradually, I never noticed.
my foray into internet gambling is going…poorly. Anybody gots a revolver I can borrow?
Just make sure you wipe the finger prints off when you’re finished.
Ever play Russian Roulette with a single-barrel shotgun?
I am intrigued and wish to subscribe to your newsletter
Halloween on a budget.