NFL News:
Hippo’s got you covered for all the weirdness of the weekend, but I’d just like to take a minute to ask the pertinent question – How the hell did that happen? – to things like:
- Blair Walsh missed three field goals, all wide-left. If only they’d had some indication he couldn’t kick in the cold.
- The Eagles scored so often & much that they ran out of fireworks.
- A game the Broncos are describing as “Rock Bottom”.
- I don’t know about that, because:
- the Patriots might hang 60 on them at Gillette this weekend.
- they’ve got a home game against the Bengals that’s a pick-em.
- they’ve got a road game against the Colts which could make Jacoby Brissett look like Peyton Manning.
- So, there’s plenty more bottoms to come.
- I don’t know about that, because:
- A game the Broncos are describing as “Rock Bottom”.
- Josh Gordon is expected to report to the Browns Tuesday.
- He’s sat out more games than Zeke ever will. Why don’t the Cowboys just give the Browns a couple of draft picks – not like they’ll help – and everyone call it even?
- Jalen Ramsey tried to go at A.J. Green under the stands. He also verbally confronted other Bengals as they left the field for halftime.
- He had to be restrained by security & escorted back to his locker room.
- Green has apologized this morning. “I apologize to my teammates, Mr. Brown, and everybody, because that is not who I am. It just got the best of me today.”
- Unspoken: “Fuck you, Jalen Ramsey.”
- What have you to add, Pacman?
- “Some s— you need to keep on the field, and some s— you don’t bring on the field regardless of what it is,” Jones said. “I’m not going to get into verbatim what he said to A.J. and how everything happened, but he’ll get what he asked for,” Jones said. “It all comes around. It always comes around. … Just watch you say and be respectful to people. You never know what happens. You never know who you’re going to play with. You never know who you’re going to see again. I’m going to leave that at that.”
- But, for clarification, here’s what Green’s not apologizing to Ramsey for:
Jalen Ramsey and AJ Green getting after it out there pic.twitter.com/dKHxrON8I4
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) November 5, 2017
- Other picked fights:
- Deion Sanders & Tony Romo?
- That’s “can’t hit” versus “can’t take a hit”.
- I’d make an FSU degree joke, but Romo’s had so many concussions he’s likely to go to Canton and accept Trent Green’s gold jacket from Century 21.
- Sean Payton & Jameis Winston?
- Retweeting Barstool tweets about rookie boasts shows someone still teaches at the Gregg Williams School of Assholery.
- Deion Sanders & Tony Romo?
Finally, to end on a little good news, it looks like Teddy Bridgewater is going to be activated this week off the PUP list, and will serve as a backup to Case Keenum. Good for him; hated to see a kid cut down at age 24.
- This means the Vikings will have four QBs on the roster, meaning Kyle Sloter (great metal-band name) or Sam Bradford may have to go.
- Bradford’s missed six games, so he could be placed on the PUP list, preventing him from being picked up by someone else & adding Minnesota to Kaepernick’s collusion case.
Game Preview: Lions at Packers
Brocky covered most of the reasons why tonight will be a painful watch. But I’d like to add one more.
Dom Capers has had 10 years to craft a competent defence. In 2009 & 2010, his defences were top-10 in scoring & points allowed. In 2010 specifically, they finished No. 2 in scoring defense, No. 5 in total defense, No. 2 in interceptions and No. 2 in sacks. Since 2010, his defences haven’t ranked above 21st, a point people don’t dwell on complainingly enough when Aaron Rodgers is able to pull his team’s fat out of the fire on numerous, repeated occasions.
Shogun Marcus craftily epitomized the feeling of the locals in his preview, noting how complacent people have become winning the division & turning into the 1990s Atlanta Braves.
On the other side of the ball, you’ve got the highest paid quarterback in the NFL, Matt Stafford,
looking to drive other quality receivers into early retirement via poor zone reads and ten-yard overthrows. The Lions have no running game, a kicker whose continued employment in the league is completely reliant on AA references, and a defence that makes Dom Capers look cromulent, because he can beat the division.
Most years, I would tune in once or twice during RAW commercials to see if tuning in after RAW finishes would be worth my time. But I don’t want to miss Alexa Bliss,
so I might just get there around the fourth quarter. By then it should be 13-10 for…someone.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NBA:
- Celtics at Hawks – 7:30PM | TSN2
- Heat at Warriors – 10:30 | TSN2
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw: 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
In case the game gets boring, here’s a Monday type of song for the Commentists:
SO 80’s!
Should be a good day at work tomorrow.
Here’s how to go the 65 miles from Los Angeles to San Bernardino in 2.5 hours along the “scenic landscapes of the BNSF San Bernardino Subdivision.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OntbCXVObM4
Attention people of Austin: you do not understand how airport pickup works. Move along.
If you’re just listening to the TV and not watching it, Randy Moss sounds like a redneck.
He is a redneck, so that works
Native of Rand, West By-God-Virginia.
Fun fact: Rand no longer exists!
How’d that happen?
Inbreeding?
Like dozens, if not a few hundred other West Virginia towns, everyone eventually moved away. Literal ghost town.
As Clay Matthews ages, he looks more and more like Charlie Manson
That’s his current career trajectory, too.
Rough decade or so for the Schiavo family
I’m glad you said it.
It was killing me not to. (no pun intended)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEojWqx1aWo
You have to give ’em credit. They’re very creative in HOW they fail in the red zone.
What in the everloving shit? There is a bar in SF that is a Redacteds/Pats bar?!
Burn it to the ground
Justifiable action.
Because of the end of daylight savings, I got to walk to the shuttle in daylight this morning! It was awesome!
Guess Aaron won’t be throwing the football to his doggie for a while. Poor pooch.
My fake football evening has been fantastic with this result! Back to real life tomorrow, but new job started so no employees or customers!
Hey, even you can probably avoid pissing anyone off in that situation.
No wait, that’s me.
A whole lot of training online this week for stuff I already know. Perfect.
Does D/ST get anything, in any fantasy scoring variation, for succeeding in an onside kick?
So. Much. Poop.
And talking about between the two offspring, not the Lions red zone offense.
You can be talking about two things
“Alright, defense, get out there and rest on your laurels!”
—Jim Caldwell at the end of the third quarter
Are laurels even a comfy thing to rest on?
Are there any botanists on this board? I’m a geologist and don’t know shit about plants.
EXTINCTION EVENT
Shit. I totally should have started Davante
Viagra. When you’re having problems in “the red zone”
Is that the Dad Band’s name?
Ruh-roh!
“#Packers security is requesting a canine over by the visiting team buses.”
If Abdullah gets the ball again PLEASE let him fumble again
“interfered with” used to be a euphemism for rape
“Used to be?”
– B. Roethlisburger
Hehehe….I giggled.
They’re confused because it should be pronounced BEL-WAH
Claude Chloe?
Bless you.
Can we get Abdullah a few more fumbles, please?
Random observation: There are seemingly more Joneses in this game than in most games.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVyrtzYklB0
What’s new puddy-tat?