Yes, my friends, it’s time to rekindle some hatred-based good times from our childhoods. Ain’t that always a hoot? No Euro-Lesser Footy, as they’s on international break, yet again. SIGH.
Michigan State at Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
These teams are right next to one another in the rankings (12/13), but the spread is a mighty -17.5. So Vegas thinks Sparty is gon’ reap some theeeeeee vengeance for being knocked out of the playoffs by the Iowans last week. We shall see.
Oklahoma State at Iowa State (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)
Another tasty matchup, this time with the post-Bedlam mad team on the road. But wait, can’t the Cyclones also be pissed off, having fallen just short in they valiant comeback bid at the Cousinfuckers last week? Or are we just treating them like the roadkill we expect them to turn right back to?
Georgia at Auburn (3:30, CBS)
Finally, a CBS spotlight match that isn’t a turd. Still not sure Aubie has enough offensive weaponry to truly challenge the ‘Dawgs, but this will be a massively holstile environment and a 4-quarter physical battle royale. Good teevee.
Iowa at Wisconsin (3:30, ABC)
I hate recommending two goddamned B1G fixtures the same week, especially when one is this vanilla…but it has its intrigue. Bucky Badger could still have a playoff argument (albeit weak) if it wins out, and Iowa has the last, best chance to stop same before the league championship.
West By God Virginia at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)
Wish to God and Sonny Jeebus I saw a gambling angle on this’un, so I’d watch MOAR of it. Both sides are middle of the pack, but give me Wild Man Holgorsen against Undead Bill Snyder any day of the week. This should have been a Friday night matchup or sommet.
Washington State at Utah (5:30, PAC12)
This is the kind of game that Wazzu needs to start winning in order to be taken seriously, on a national basis. Yes, it’s a tough challenge for a team without overwhelming talent…but it needs to get done. If so, would set up a high-stakes Apple Cup.
Alabama at Mississippi State (7:00, ESPN)
If anyone is gonna trip up Roll Damn Tide before the UGA meet and greet (they always take War Damn Eagle 100% serious), it would likely be the Cowbells in Starkville, under the lights. But I wouldn’t bet on it.
Notre Dame at Miami (8:00, ABC)
Here’s your sterling main event. Basically “win and you’re in” the playoffs for the Fucking Dickhole Irish (and I have money on them at -3, think they will win by double digits and hope to have jinxed them). Miami still has to win out, ACC title game v. Clemson included. They won’t.
TCU at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)
What a fantastic undercard this makes! Not enough is made of how good Bloodeyes are, and they absolutely can go to Norman and win. Especially if Boomer Sooner still gots a sugar high from their 62-52 (not a misprint) Bedlam victory in Stillwater. Okie wants a shootout, TCU wants to grind. Whoever imposes their will will likely get the W, and hopefully (Hippo is shameless Big 12 promoter) a playoff berth. Shit, didn’t mean that to come out so rapey-sounding.
Arizona State at UCLA (9:30, PAC12)
I realize this ain’t much of a tweaker option, but tis all I am left to offer. Good thing the rest of the slate is so badass. Get some sleep for NFL Week 10.
*Receiver dives for a pass and drops it*
Announcer: That was a walk-in touchdown if he catches it.
What, you never seen a guy walk with his pecs?
Highest Number of Drinks Taken And Women Banged In The 20th Century?
/I’ll go Richard Burton
Oliver Reed and Peter O’Toole might want to throw the red flag and ask for a replay review.
Who are Charles Bukowski and Wilt Chamberlain?
Oh, you mean one person.
“May Rise From The Dead During The Apocalypse”
if you’re UGA…you gladly trade 15 for that hit, methinks
Did someone say “Jami Gertz” earlier?
/Someone did. It was Scotchnaut
She ain’t not pretty but her jaded Brooklyn accent needs a bit of work.
/I don’t hold that against her though
Looking ahead to the Alabama-Georgia matchup in which both teams will make the playoff anyway.
If Gaargia loses here and to bama, then they’re probably out?
yup. Interesting query, wha happen if Aubie wins out (2 losses, but closes beating UGA x2 and Bama)?
All three make the playoff!
Yeah but if one is unbeaten and one has one loss, the committee won’t have the balls to leave one out.
I got a good feeling about this Yale team. They got this in the bag.
By “this”, of course, you mean “their future”, since as Yale grads they will rule as all.
Lookit this QB for Iowa! He’s taller than the linemen, for the love of Mike.
Batman is apparently dead.
BatDenningsWoman has a certain… hypnotic appeal.
Right now there are Wisconsin fans complaining about the mistake of scheduling a team of the quality of Iowa when ITT Tech was available to play this week.
Woof Woof
(sorry Aubie…you still be my 2nd fav SEC…but today you must die)
Hey look, it’s Boobie and Claude!
/special guest appearance by Ma Blarker
They seem to have hedges, is that a “troll UGA” move?
I’m not sure I understand the question.
But fairly simply, my allegiances lie with land grant schools, esp those with Vet Schools.
Bad car chasing good bike messengers.
/I knew it!
Hawkaception!
Iowa is doomed, it took them two pass attempts to intercept and return one for a touchdown. Last week it was only one.
It’s actually really sad that I’m not a lesbian. I would be excellent at it.
You have my attention.
And probably everyone else’s as well.
She likes flannel. Whatever.
That’s….a start?
Strong coffee and lawnmowers…..
*maybe has stereotypes mixed up.
They’re nice, and very successful professionally. Really curious about lawyers here experiences with female counsel, older female counsel. Smart women who have led interesting lives? Yeah, I’m a bit attracted despite my inconvenient penchant for dick
Column A, Column B.
No judgement here, hon.
Does Richard know about this?
As a lawyer I can say that I’ve hated dealing with most of the older female counsel I’ve run into. Of course, I’ve also hated dealing with most of the older male lawyers.
I pretty much hate lawyers.
She could open my discovery any day
My dream is coming true, I tell you hwhat
http://
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=108632,filename=lesbians-ugly.jpg
“Engaged.”
-Belly Button Fetish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNL46cpnDfA#t=35s
Jami Gertz is making a stand.
Holee Fuckballz…Hippo won some money.
even then…see how hard the universe TRIED
oh fuck you JV Bleergh
WHEW
LOL
pressure that piece of shit
Jesus Fuck
Kevin is the bravest stockbroker that ever brokered a stock.
come on, Cocks!!
-Slutty Peahens
Xeno’s two point conversion in Iowa
Kevin is headed to the trading floor. “Don’t touch orange juice futures, buddy-there’s another 80’s movie in play here and you don’t want to get caught in the middle!”
FCOJ is where it’s at Mr. Beeks.
Now I am just watching to see if South Cakalaky will give away my cover or not.
What was your line?
-5.5, not enough time to kick a FG thank God
Probably not with that kind of QB decision making. You go Gators!!!!
Holy hell that dude sucks.
That game was a good test to see how cursed I am. State, in true State fashion, did everything they could to give the game away. But the curse was too strong, Hippo cannot win money.
If Doeren chooses to kick here, he can go ahead and pack his bags upon his return to Raleigh even if the kick is good.
He gon make some money for his optimistic Mexican friend!
What do you have here, Hippo, BC +3 or to win outright?
outright, naturally
Oh, that FG attempt…
surely if BC has any learning curve, the FG is off the table
Kevin’s Girlfriend: [introducing him to some guy] “He used to be a stockbroker. He lost 30 million in half an hour!”
And then the movie rang this bell…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1WnBy4z5Jc
Ed Ogeron interviews are the best. It’s like watching a rock talk.
With a cubic spline fit and inexplicably using it for extrapolation, ohio state is gonna have, let’s see
*checks clipboard*
negative 432 points by the end of this game.
Quicksilver is the movie.
Yeah it is!
The Bad Guy Is A Car!
“You are one optimistic Mexican.”
That was a piece of dialogue.
“Vin Diesel is one hell of a great actor.”
Tree Monster is bi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmiNLVTDFDI
Larry got run over but he was a bad guy so it’s okay.
Louie Anderson sighting!
how fat?
He got stabbed. There’s gravy all over the walls.
Kevin Bacon is a bike messenger in the 80’s! Gotta see where this goes…
Young Larry Fishburne sighting!
Straight to video?
No idea. It’s on Peachtree and listed as “Movie”.
It is indeed sad that I knew this immediately.
Wow! I had to do some googlfying.
OK, maybe that is just where it goes in my own head.
It’s that age old story-she just wants to take the pie out of the oven and the tentacles simply must have that damn apron.
Octopi-apron.
That is smooth…
Pro Tip: If your house is infested with monkeys, mix some sugar and water together in your bathtub. Monkeys can’t resist it because they have a sweet tooth. (teeth?) They’ll drown for sure and then you can just flush them down the toilet! Done.
Call Orkin [Carniverous Monkey Dept.]?
I called; “No such department exists, sir.” SMGDFH.
Those Fatcats in gumint should do something about Big Pest Control.
and THERE IT IS. Inside BC territory, dumb fucking trick play backwards pass, scooped up by Lesser Iggles and taken back to State’s 24.
BC has no QB, and can’t punt for shit. It is a mighty challenge for NC State to find a path to this inevitable loss, but we are TOTES creative and diligent.
trust Hippo, I am in every way an average WASP
I’ll take “What if Louis CK was a woman?” for $800 Alex.
I notice he is the only one to finally own up to it.
Did at least give the victims the dignity of acknowledging without reservation that they were telling the truth (in addition to apologizing). I respect that, and know how horrifying that had to be, knowing that he has daughters.
Not that it excuses things in the least, but owning up to it is the only way one can start real penitence.
She’s just in a hurry to get home and mend that Chanel suit/dress/thing.
EVAR
that is indeed the key, announcer guy – being willing to wait for the hole
But any hole will do.
– the US Navy
h/t George Carlin (RIP)
Arkansas-LSU. Because, eh, what the hell?
Football makes the intoxicants go down better.
Basketball Cuse beat those dirty bastards from Cornell last night-can you say Final Four?
u beat the Big Red teh sky is teh limit obvs
We shoved ALL the red right down their throats. I’ve no idea what colour their unis are going to be from here on out.
Well, UCONN beat Colgate last night so they’ll clearly see you there.
Beat Colgate huh? They must feel refreshed.
Someone on twitter remarked that the game was like a trip to the dentist, in that he worried about Colgate for about 30 minutes and then never thought of them again.
HOLY SHIT the mighty toothpaste warriors??
Weird. on my desktop PC, the website won’t load but I can from my phone.
So Spartans just fielded a completely different squad this week or what?
as noted above, Vegas had an inkling
Congrats to Bradley Chubb for breaking Super Mario’s wolven sack record.
/did have an extra season, tho