Catholics v. Convicts – the Next Century! Lesser Footy Thread

Yes, my friends, it’s time to rekindle some hatred-based good times from our childhoods.  Ain’t that always a hoot?  No Euro-Lesser Footy, as they’s on international break, yet again.  SIGH.

Michigan State at Ohio State (Noon, Fox)

These teams are right next to one another in the rankings (12/13), but the spread is a mighty -17.5.  So Vegas thinks Sparty is gon’ reap some theeeeeee vengeance for being knocked out of the playoffs by the Iowans last week.  We shall see.

Oklahoma State at Iowa State (Noon, ABC/ESPN2)

Another tasty matchup, this time with the post-Bedlam mad team on the road.  But wait, can’t the Cyclones also be pissed off, having fallen just short in they valiant comeback bid at the Cousinfuckers last week?  Or are we just treating them like the roadkill we expect them to turn right back to?

Georgia at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Finally, a CBS spotlight match that isn’t a turd.  Still not sure Aubie has enough offensive weaponry to truly challenge the ‘Dawgs, but this will be a massively holstile environment and a 4-quarter physical battle royale.  Good teevee.

Iowa at Wisconsin (3:30, ABC)

I hate recommending two goddamned B1G fixtures the same week, especially when one is this vanilla…but it has its intrigue.  Bucky Badger could still have a playoff argument (albeit weak) if it wins out, and Iowa has the last, best chance to stop same before the league championship.

West By God Virginia at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)

Wish to God and Sonny Jeebus I saw a gambling angle on this’un, so I’d watch MOAR of it.  Both sides are middle of the pack, but give me Wild Man Holgorsen against Undead Bill Snyder any day of the week.  This should have been a Friday night matchup or sommet.

Washington State at Utah (5:30, PAC12)

This is the kind of game that Wazzu needs to start winning in order to be taken seriously, on a national basis.  Yes, it’s a tough challenge for a team without overwhelming talent…but it needs to get done.  If so, would set up a high-stakes Apple Cup.

Alabama at Mississippi State (7:00, ESPN)

If anyone is gonna trip up Roll Damn Tide before the UGA meet and greet (they always take War Damn Eagle 100% serious), it would likely be the Cowbells in Starkville, under the lights.  But I wouldn’t bet on it.

Notre Dame at Miami (8:00, ABC)

Here’s your sterling main event.  Basically “win and you’re in” the playoffs for the Fucking Dickhole Irish (and I have money on them at -3, think they will win by double digits and hope to have jinxed them).  Miami still has to win out, ACC title game v. Clemson included.  They won’t.

TCU at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)

What a fantastic undercard this makes!  Not enough is made of how good Bloodeyes are, and they absolutely can go to Norman and win.  Especially if Boomer Sooner still gots a sugar high from their 62-52 (not a misprint) Bedlam victory in Stillwater.  Okie wants a shootout, TCU wants to grind.  Whoever imposes their will will likely get the W, and hopefully (Hippo is shameless Big 12 promoter) a playoff berth.  Shit, didn’t mean that to come out so rapey-sounding.

Arizona State at UCLA (9:30, PAC12)

I realize this ain’t much of a tweaker option, but tis all I am left to offer.  Good thing the rest of the slate is so badass.  Get some sleep for NFL Week 10.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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herodotus450

*Receiver dives for a pass and drops it*
Announcer: That was a walk-in touchdown if he catches it.

Fronkenshteen

What, you never seen a guy walk with his pecs?

scotchnaut

Highest Number of Drinks Taken And Women Banged In The 20th Century?

/I’ll go Richard Burton

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oliver Reed and Peter O’Toole might want to throw the red flag and ask for a replay review.

Fronkenshteen

Who are Charles Bukowski and Wilt Chamberlain?
Oh, you mean one person.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“May Rise From The Dead During The Apocalypse”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Did someone say “Jami Gertz” earlier?
/Someone did. It was Scotchnaut

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scotchnaut

She ain’t not pretty but her jaded Brooklyn accent needs a bit of work.

/I don’t hold that against her though

...

Looking ahead to the Alabama-Georgia matchup in which both teams will make the playoff anyway.

herodotus450

If Gaargia loses here and to bama, then they’re probably out?

herodotus450

All three make the playoff!

...

Yeah but if one is unbeaten and one has one loss, the committee won’t have the balls to leave one out.

Spur

I got a good feeling about this Yale team. They got this in the bag.

Horatio Cornblower

By “this”, of course, you mean “their future”, since as Yale grads they will rule as all.

Fronkenshteen

Lookit this QB for Iowa! He’s taller than the linemen, for the love of Mike.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Batman is apparently dead.

scotchnaut

BatDenningsWoman has a certain… hypnotic appeal.

JustStopDude

Right now there are Wisconsin fans complaining about the mistake of scheduling a team of the quality of Iowa when ITT Tech was available to play this week.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Woof Woof
(sorry Aubie…you still be my 2nd fav SEC…but today you must die)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Hey look, it’s Boobie and Claude!

/special guest appearance by Ma Blarker

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not sure I understand the question.
But fairly simply, my allegiances lie with land grant schools, esp those with Vet Schools.

scotchnaut

Bad car chasing good bike messengers.

/I knew it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Hawkaception!

herodotus450

Iowa is doomed, it took them two pass attempts to intercept and return one for a touchdown. Last week it was only one.

Doktor Zymm

It’s actually really sad that I’m not a lesbian. I would be excellent at it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You have my attention.
And probably everyone else’s as well.

scotchnaut

She likes flannel. Whatever.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s….a start?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Strong coffee and lawnmowers…..

*maybe has stereotypes mixed up.

Doktor Zymm

They’re nice, and very successful professionally. Really curious about lawyers here experiences with female counsel, older female counsel. Smart women who have led interesting lives? Yeah, I’m a bit attracted despite my inconvenient penchant for dick

theeWeeBabySeamus

Column A, Column B.

No judgement here, hon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Does Richard know about this?

Horatio Cornblower

As a lawyer I can say that I’ve hated dealing with most of the older female counsel I’ve run into. Of course, I’ve also hated dealing with most of the older male lawyers.

I pretty much hate lawyers.

herodotus450

She could open my discovery any day
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herodotus450
scotchnaut

“Engaged.”

-Belly Button Fetish

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
scotchnaut

Jami Gertz is making a stand.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holee Fuckballz…Hippo won some money.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

scotchnaut

Kevin is the bravest stockbroker that ever brokered a stock.

scotchnaut

-Slutty Peahens

herodotus450

Xeno’s two point conversion in Iowa

scotchnaut

Kevin is headed to the trading floor. “Don’t touch orange juice futures, buddy-there’s another 80’s movie in play here and you don’t want to get caught in the middle!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

FCOJ is where it’s at Mr. Beeks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What was your line?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Probably not with that kind of QB decision making. You go Gators!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy hell that dude sucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If Doeren chooses to kick here, he can go ahead and pack his bags upon his return to Raleigh even if the kick is good.

scotchnaut

He gon make some money for his optimistic Mexican friend!

Fronkenshteen

What do you have here, Hippo, BC +3 or to win outright?

Fronkenshteen

Oh, that FG attempt…

scotchnaut

Kevin’s Girlfriend: [introducing him to some guy] “He used to be a stockbroker. He lost 30 million in half an hour!”

scotchnaut

And then the movie rang this bell…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1WnBy4z5Jc

Horatio Cornblower

Ed Ogeron interviews are the best. It’s like watching a rock talk.

herodotus450

With a cubic spline fit and inexplicably using it for extrapolation, ohio state is gonna have, let’s see
*checks clipboard*
negative 432 points by the end of this game.

scotchnaut

Quicksilver is the movie.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah it is!

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scotchnaut

The Bad Guy Is A Car!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“You are one optimistic Mexican.”

That was a piece of dialogue.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Vin Diesel is one hell of a great actor.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Tree Monster is bi.

scotchnaut

Larry got run over but he was a bad guy so it’s okay.

scotchnaut

Louie Anderson sighting!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

He got stabbed. There’s gravy all over the walls.

scotchnaut

Kevin Bacon is a bike messenger in the 80’s! Gotta see where this goes…

scotchnaut

Young Larry Fishburne sighting!

Horatio Cornblower

Straight to video?

scotchnaut

No idea. It’s on Peachtree and listed as “Movie”.

Horatio Cornblower

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It is indeed sad that I knew this immediately.

scotchnaut

Wow! I had to do some googlfying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, maybe that is just where it goes in my own head.

scotchnaut

It’s that age old story-she just wants to take the pie out of the oven and the tentacles simply must have that damn apron.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Octopi-apron.

scotchnaut

That is smooth…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Pro Tip: If your house is infested with monkeys, mix some sugar and water together in your bathtub. Monkeys can’t resist it because they have a sweet tooth. (teeth?) They’ll drown for sure and then you can just flush them down the toilet! Done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Call Orkin [Carniverous Monkey Dept.]?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I called; “No such department exists, sir.” SMGDFH.

scotchnaut

Those Fatcats in gumint should do something about Big Pest Control.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ll take “What if Louis CK was a woman?” for $800 Alex.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I notice he is the only one to finally own up to it.

herodotus450

She’s just in a hurry to get home and mend that Chanel suit/dress/thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

But any hole will do.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Arkansas-LSU. Because, eh, what the hell?

scotchnaut

Football makes the intoxicants go down better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Basketball Cuse beat those dirty bastards from Cornell last night-can you say Final Four?

scotchnaut

We shoved ALL the red right down their throats. I’ve no idea what colour their unis are going to be from here on out.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, UCONN beat Colgate last night so they’ll clearly see you there.

scotchnaut

Beat Colgate huh? They must feel refreshed.

Horatio Cornblower

Someone on twitter remarked that the game was like a trip to the dentist, in that he worried about Colgate for about 30 minutes and then never thought of them again.

JustStopDude

Weird. on my desktop PC, the website won’t load but I can from my phone.

So Spartans just fielded a completely different squad this week or what?