Your “One of These Games Just Doesn’t Belong” 4 Spot Slate Open Thread

[scans dessert menu] Oh my, look what we have here! That Creme Brulee looks wonderful. Oooooo, maybe I’ll go for the Baked Alaska-I’ve heard great things about it from my yoga instructor. [looks to bottom of menu] Hmmm. An unopened sugar packet on a cow’s tongue? Why would they even bother putting that on the menu? Are they just trying to fill space? Speaking of… TO THE GAMES!

Hou/LAR: The “How Can You Not Cheer For Them?”* Rams have scored an average of 36 ppg in their last four victories. Did I follow my own advice that I shared with you folks a few weeks ago and stash Goff at the bottom of my roster for safekeeping? Sure I did-for about five days or so and then moved on to larger mistakes. I dislike being stupid. I highly recommend against it if you can help it. The Texans have barely scored more points than they’ve given up as is the way of many 3-5 teams. His Below-Average-ness, Tom Savage Garden is entrusted to get the team going just like he didn’t in the vast majority of all the other games he’s started.

*Abandoned St. Louisians excepted

Dal/Atl: The Cowboys have cobbled together three straight wins but now are without Zeke. This is good news for a reeling Falcons team that has lost four of its last five. Remember Tevin Coleman? OC Steve Sarkasian hasn’t. That rb that is particularly proficient at catching balls out of the backfield has been fed three passes in the last four games. This is gross misuse of talent along the lines of Marcus Allen under Al Davis. Still, given that the Dallas D gives up 4.4 yards per rush maybe the Foreman/Coleman duo should be given the ball 30+ times today. Of course a little pitch and catch between Ryan and Jones (if he’s healthy) should be thrown in there as well.

NYG/SF: Did I mention something about telling your loved ones how important they are to you? I did? Well, go ahead.

It’s all over except for my crying. Do what you do.

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/extreme pedant voice

Actually defacing currency is a FEDERAL crime and you should not engage in this activity for your own amusement.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Did anyone watch American Vandal on Netflix? Good?

Mother Puncher

My coworkers love it. I turned it off after 10 minutes. I got the joke, and I can’t imagine it could be funny for a full season.

...

Below this story, I watched a video asking “How Many Children Does Philip Rivers Have Left In Him?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Does this mean i get three Christmases now? – Eli upon hearing McAdoo has been fried.

Shogun Marcus

He can haz moar Capri Suns now!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it just me, or does Santa here look like Sheriff on Squidbillies?
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I’m still very confused by the fact the NFC division leaders are the Eagles, Vikings, Saints, and Rams.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I thinks I made too much pascettie.

Spur

and Trump is President.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Barbara Bouchet…… there, I feel better.

Shogun Marcus

We got any Mel Torme fans? McAdoo should start.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I can’t wait until the Giants take another tight end in the Top 5 of next year’s draft.

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With the 2nd Overall Pick, the Giants select… Jeremy Shockey…? Again…? Is that possible?

Petronel

WOO

King Hippo

much earned

Petronel

Now we can go back to “Thank Gawd for the Browns” mode.

King Hippo

ManningFace

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“So this November is Asian Wikipedia Month. Or should I say Rikimedia month, amirite?”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, what does any of this have to do with me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Huh?

Horatio Cornblower

So apparently* Goodell is asking for $50 million a year in his new contract, and health insurance for life, and, for some reason, a jet plane. For life.

Seems reasonable.

*Source is a talk radio host from New England so maybe not the best information I’ve ever passed along.

King Hippo

I would do it for $5M and forget the plane. I likes to work from home. Think of all the moneys you fucks can save!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lyfetyme Pills!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

It’s hard to know who to cheer for in Goodell vs. JJ, but I think a good resolution would be that Goodell gets a new contract — but it’s not guaranteed, and he can be cut like any NFL player.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also he has a salary cap for the rest of his staff.

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Goodell gets a giant contract, JJ keels over in an apoplectic rage, Goodell is fired by the other owns for violating a clause than penalizes him for using the letter E.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m in favor of them settling it the way Hamilton and Burr settled their differences, hopefully with the same result; one of them dead and the other in flight.

I could do without a musical though.

Shogun Marcus

I’m still confused on what exactly JJ is suing on/for. I know he’s the literal crazy texan, but huh?

Horatio Cornblower

Allegedly he’s suing because he doesn’t like the contract. Which if the above is even remotely accurate I don’t blame him for.

According to Mike Francesca, Jones is really pissed that Goodell mishandled the anthem-kneeling and wants him punished for that, because it’s costing the league money.

I suspect the reality is that Goodell suspended JJ’s gotdamned new star, and that’s why Jones wants his ass on a platter.

Shogun Marcus

I get his bitching and fee-fees being hurt…but what legal basis does he have for anything?

Horatio Cornblower

His attorneys get paid to worry about that. JJ doesn’t give a shit.

Spur

He’s not doing what Double J wants. Double J cannot let his whores showing him up.

Dunstan

Pretty sure there’s no actual lawsuit yet. JJ is just threatening one. As to what the grounds would be, I bet JJ’s lawyers would like to know that, too.

Horatio Cornblower

As an experienced attorney I can tell you that all you need to file a lawsuit are a pen and some paper; the grounds are optional.

Shogun Marcus

McAdoo might be left behind. Literally.

King Hippo

oh is he NAWT saved ,, smgdh

King Hippo

why does Garrett still have DAK! in the game?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sensual Slaughter is the best slaughter.

Horatio Cornblower

John Carradine?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Little bro makes good.

King Hippo

shit, that was RIGHT THERE, Evan!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

I lost my coach in San Francisco – Eli Sings!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Imagine vultures as falconscomment image

rockingdog

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Romonobyl

There’s always next year…

King Hippo

now, now, don’t be such a pessimist, we could still all be ded

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Engram, damn it! Give me garbage points, Elisha.

litre_cola

The Giants have to fire people now right?

rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Haters & Fools: my new gang name.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s good to be a part of something bigger than yourself.

Spur

i don’t think the Cowboys are going to win this game.

Romonobyl

How about giving Dak a little break here, not literally?

King Hippo

Ineffective holding. Christ, what an awful OL performance.

Romonobyl

Insult to injury.

Romonobyl

I’m off to Walmart. Anyone else needs some cheap Chinese shit that we don’t admit ever buying but do anyway?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Need some lawn chairs that will collapse after being in the sun for a few days…. thanks.

Shogun Marcus

Discount murican flags! They’re cheap now right? Like candy after Halloween?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

god bless

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Cheap Chinese shit? Are they filming scat on Canal St. again?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I still get hard thinking about the beatdown the Donks laid on Brady 2 seasons ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Get? AM.

King Hippo

It made Brock Lobster a VERY wealthy man. One hopes he invested well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I think Michael Jackson would have a nicer toaster. Just sayin’.

King Hippo

Hey, Savage made the tackle, anyway!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

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Gratliff

Cans were a mistake

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Usually when you penetrate the Giants in San Francisco, the bear community gets all up in arms.

Spur

I find Angel Olsen hot. i do like them thicker. No sack of antlers for me,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nleRCBhLr3k

Spur

but i think she’s plays for the other team.
A man can dream.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We had the same chance either way.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So given that Trump supporters are eagerly smashing their Keurig machines because the manufacturer pulled its advertising from Hannity’s show, who do I have to tweet at to convince them that their own testicles have also pulled their ads from Hannity’s show?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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