[scans dessert menu] Oh my, look what we have here! That Creme Brulee looks wonderful. Oooooo, maybe I’ll go for the Baked Alaska-I’ve heard great things about it from my yoga instructor. [looks to bottom of menu] Hmmm. An unopened sugar packet on a cow’s tongue? Why would they even bother putting that on the menu? Are they just trying to fill space? Speaking of… TO THE GAMES!
Hou/LAR: The “How Can You Not Cheer For Them?”* Rams have scored an average of 36 ppg in their last four victories. Did I follow my own advice that I shared with you folks a few weeks ago and stash Goff at the bottom of my roster for safekeeping? Sure I did-for about five days or so and then moved on to larger mistakes. I dislike being stupid. I highly recommend against it if you can help it. The Texans have barely scored more points than they’ve given up as is the way of many 3-5 teams. His Below-Average-ness, Tom Savage Garden is entrusted to get the team going just like he didn’t in the vast majority of all the other games he’s started.
*Abandoned St. Louisians excepted
Dal/Atl: The Cowboys have cobbled together three straight wins but now are without Zeke. This is good news for a reeling Falcons team that has lost four of its last five. Remember Tevin Coleman? OC Steve Sarkasian hasn’t. That rb that is particularly proficient at catching balls out of the backfield has been fed three passes in the last four games. This is gross misuse of talent along the lines of Marcus Allen under Al Davis. Still, given that the Dallas D gives up 4.4 yards per rush maybe the Foreman/Coleman duo should be given the ball 30+ times today. Of course a little pitch and catch between Ryan and Jones (if he’s healthy) should be thrown in there as well.
NYG/SF: Did I mention something about telling your loved ones how important they are to you? I did? Well, go ahead.
It’s all over except for my crying. Do what you do.
/extreme pedant voice
Actually defacing currency is a FEDERAL crime and you should not engage in this activity for your own amusement.
Did anyone watch American Vandal on Netflix? Good?
My coworkers love it. I turned it off after 10 minutes. I got the joke, and I can’t imagine it could be funny for a full season.
https://www.theonion.com/popular-new-amazon-service-just-comes-to-your-house-and-1819917496
Below this story, I watched a video asking “How Many Children Does Philip Rivers Have Left In Him?”
Does this mean i get three Christmases now? – Eli upon hearing McAdoo has been fried.
He can haz moar Capri Suns now!
Is it just me, or does Santa here look like Sheriff on Squidbillies?
I’m still very confused by the fact the NFC division leaders are the Eagles, Vikings, Saints, and Rams.
I thinks I made too much pascettie.
and Trump is President.
Barbara Bouchet…… there, I feel better.
We got any Mel Torme fans? McAdoo should start.
https://www.wired.com/story/facebooks-listening-smartphone-microphone/
I can’t wait until the Giants take another tight end in the Top 5 of next year’s draft.
With the 2nd Overall Pick, the Giants select… Jeremy Shockey…? Again…? Is that possible?
WOO
much earned
Now we can go back to “Thank Gawd for the Browns” mode.
ManningFace
“So this November is Asian Wikipedia Month. Or should I say Rikimedia month, amirite?”
Wait, what does any of this have to do with me?
What?
Huh?
So apparently* Goodell is asking for $50 million a year in his new contract, and health insurance for life, and, for some reason, a jet plane. For life.
Seems reasonable.
*Source is a talk radio host from New England so maybe not the best information I’ve ever passed along.
I would do it for $5M and forget the plane. I likes to work from home. Think of all the moneys you fucks can save!!
Lyfetyme Pills!!!!!!!
It’s hard to know who to cheer for in Goodell vs. JJ, but I think a good resolution would be that Goodell gets a new contract — but it’s not guaranteed, and he can be cut like any NFL player.
Also he has a salary cap for the rest of his staff.
Goodell gets a giant contract, JJ keels over in an apoplectic rage, Goodell is fired by the other owns for violating a clause than penalizes him for using the letter E.
I’m in favor of them settling it the way Hamilton and Burr settled their differences, hopefully with the same result; one of them dead and the other in flight.
I could do without a musical though.
I’m still confused on what exactly JJ is suing on/for. I know he’s the literal crazy texan, but huh?
Allegedly he’s suing because he doesn’t like the contract. Which if the above is even remotely accurate I don’t blame him for.
According to Mike Francesca, Jones is really pissed that Goodell mishandled the anthem-kneeling and wants him punished for that, because it’s costing the league money.
I suspect the reality is that Goodell suspended JJ’s gotdamned new star, and that’s why Jones wants his ass on a platter.
I get his bitching and fee-fees being hurt…but what legal basis does he have for anything?
His attorneys get paid to worry about that. JJ doesn’t give a shit.
He’s not doing what Double J wants. Double J cannot let his whores showing him up.
Pretty sure there’s no actual lawsuit yet. JJ is just threatening one. As to what the grounds would be, I bet JJ’s lawyers would like to know that, too.
As an experienced attorney I can tell you that all you need to file a lawsuit are a pen and some paper; the grounds are optional.
McAdoo might be left behind. Literally.
oh is he NAWT saved ,, smgdh
why does Garrett still have DAK! in the game?
Sensual Slaughter is the best slaughter.
John Carradine?
Little bro makes good.
shit, that was RIGHT THERE, Evan!!
I lost my coach in San Francisco – Eli Sings!
Imagine vultures as falcons
There’s always next year…
now, now, don’t be such a pessimist, we could still all be ded
Engram, damn it! Give me garbage points, Elisha.
The Giants have to fire people now right?
China! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrfE9I8_hs
Haters & Fools: my new gang name.
It’s good to be a part of something bigger than yourself.
i don’t think the Cowboys are going to win this game.
How about giving Dak a little break here, not literally?
Ineffective holding. Christ, what an awful OL performance.
Insult to injury.
I’m off to Walmart. Anyone else needs some cheap Chinese shit that we don’t admit ever buying but do anyway?
Need some lawn chairs that will collapse after being in the sun for a few days…. thanks.
Discount murican flags! They’re cheap now right? Like candy after Halloween?
god bless
Cheap Chinese shit? Are they filming scat on Canal St. again?
I still get hard thinking about the beatdown the Donks laid on Brady 2 seasons ago.
Get? AM.
It made Brock Lobster a VERY wealthy man. One hopes he invested well.
I think Michael Jackson would have a nicer toaster. Just sayin’.
Hey, Savage made the tackle, anyway!
Cans were a mistake
Usually when you penetrate the Giants in San Francisco, the bear community gets all up in arms.
I find Angel Olsen hot. i do like them thicker. No sack of antlers for me,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nleRCBhLr3k
but i think she’s plays for the other team.
A man can dream.
We had the same chance either way.
So given that Trump supporters are eagerly smashing their Keurig machines because the manufacturer pulled its advertising from Hannity’s show, who do I have to tweet at to convince them that their own testicles have also pulled their ads from Hannity’s show?