Our Final Full Lesser Footy Day of 2017 – Cherish It

Yes, our long winter of discontent beckons.  Blech.

We jump straight into the 10:00 window, there being no early match.  Which kind of sucks.  Anyway, NBCSN brings you Man U hosting the surprisingly competent, 9th position Seagulls of Brighton & Hove.  CNBC has alternate viewing, in the form of Spurs hosting dire West Brom.  Barcodes v. Moose Hornets on NBC Gold is a much better bet.

5th position Redshite host resurgent 3rd place Chelsea in the 12:30 big NBC spotlight dance, which for once lives up to its moniker.  I will at least stream it, since the local Raleigh, NC network affiliate is showing Boston College/Syracuse JV action instead.  Sad!

Sunday brings us three fairly intriguing fixtures, with the 8:30 opener – Everton’s visit to St. Mary’s (Soton) only available on NBC Gold.  Both these sides (16th and 14th) are on poor form, and in need of answers.  Anyway, I shall be watching and hoping…and still waiting for a permanent manager.

As for matches normal humans might watch, 6th position Arsenal visit 7th place Burnley (9:00, CNBC), followed by runaway freight train Man City’s visit to #10 Huddersfield Town (11:00, NBCSN).  One expects the visitor “name side” to hold serve, but each match could be more difficult sledding than the untrained eye might expect.

On to the full, bountiful JV slate!

Georgia at Georgia Tech (Noon, ABC)

There Will Be Rushing Attempts.

Ohio State at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

/imagine picture of lukewarm pool of jism

Florida State at Florida (Noon, ESPN)

Fun Fact!  Both these sides are 4-6, and both have re-scheduled patsy games next week, while real teams play for conference supremacy.  One of them will get bowl qualification out of said sad exercise.  The other…just MOAR realization of just how deep the hole is.

Indiana at Purdue (Noon, ESPN2)

Two 5-6 teams that hate each other.  Yes, please!!

Alabama at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Match of the Day.  DUH.  Winner takes all, and yes, I believe War Damn Eagle gets into the playoffs if it wins out.  I also believe Roll Damn Tide gets in at 11-1 with a loss here or to UGA.  Spoiler alert – I don’t believe either hypothetical loss happens, leaving Bama the only SEC PAAAAAWWWWWLLLL!!! representative.

Iowa State at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)

The Undead Bill Snyders will probably lose here, just to make BDSM State folk even angrier.  Cyclones remain one of the year’s better stories.

West By God Virginia at Oklahoma (3:45, ESPN)

I don’t wanna say “trap game” but….FUCKING TRAP GAME.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee (4:00, SECN)

Oh, the humiliation of it.  To be 0-7 in SEC play, and face similarly 0-7 Vandy…at home, on the last day of the season, each with nothing to play for.  Could easily be the lowest single point of Volunteer sports history.  I will watch more of this than I care to admit, because I’m really fucking weird.

Clemson at South Carolina (7:30, ESPN)

There are usually fights in this one, more than sufficient reason to tune in.  Rednecks at night, y’all.

Texas A&M at LSU (7:45, ESPN2)

I wish I attended a university where a football coach could enter the season finale a ded man walking at fucking 7-4 in the toughest division of the toughest conference in JV NFL.

Notre Dame at Stanford (8:00, ABC)

Hey, everybody, it’s the one time a year I pull for boring-ass Stanford.

Washington State at Washington (8:00, Fox)

Apple Cup, y’all!  Neat name, neat rivalry.  Wazzu has already beaten the Troi Boiz once, so they really need this win as a major step forward for their program.  Huskies can only play spoiler in favour of the Trees.

Colorado at Utah (10:00, FS1)

Not a great tweaker match-up, but at least it’s 5-6 v. 5-6, and Team Secular Big Love always gives a good effort.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Sharkbait

IS DFO Poker still a thing?

blaxabbath

You know what?

Shut down the NCAA.

blaxabbath

Arizona fans experiencing in just how bad of shape Ann Weaver Hart left that institution. It’s a decade rebuild for that school to, hopefully, return to where it was. The school is about 6 months into that rebuild. It’s going be a rough ten years.

rockingdog

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rockingdog

Me: Alexa, order take out
Alexa: Again?
Me: DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME YOU FUCKIN HOCKEY PUCK!

blaxabbath

The plays in this Arizona/ASU game are fucking nuts.

rockingdog

In other news: Scientists had to delete Urban Dictionary’s data from the memory of IBM’s Watson, because it was learning to swear in its answers.
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rockingdog

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Gettin ready…..

WCS

role dam tied

Shogun Marcus

wore dam angel

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Of COURSE you won’t find toilet paper within 15 miles! Worry about the supply of leaves and corncobs! Tumor corner, how apt.

rockingdog

We should have a live look-in at Toomers Corner. Yea Auburn!

rockingdog

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Party!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

So who plays against USC if Stanford looses?

rockingdog

Is Wazzu…….Washington St. or Washington?

Mr. Ayo

State

rockingdog

Found it: No. 13 Washington State (9-2) at No. 17 Washington (9-2): If WSU wins the Apple Cup, the Cougs will play USC in the Pac-12 Championship. If UW wins, Stanford wins the North.

litre_cola

Yuuugee game in the Washington networks

rockingdog

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Shogun Marcus

The band.

Shogun Marcus

I’m glad you idiots aren’t on the committee either. You fucks would snap your spines bending over for bama. Shitty Announcing.

WCS

4TH AND 22? JV NFL BLITZ!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Sparky TD! Comeback is looking good.

blaxabbath

Tate is hurt. ASU wins.

litre_cola

I would enjoy Bama not being in the playoffs immensely.

rockingdog

Auburn looks like they gonna do it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dilly dilly!

rockingdog

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WCS

Auburn’s RB just broke his ankle.

rockingdog

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rockingdog

Wait did they just loose their 2nd string RB?

WCS

They’re down to the fourth-string now.

litre_cola

Who would still start at 50% of div 1 schools.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

Oh no. Auburns top running back looks hurt.

rockingdog

Yooooo Auburn defense is good

Sharkbait

Is Alabama Schadenfreude Day on the same level as Patriots Schadenfreude Day?

rockingdog

Nope

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not even close.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But still splendid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not really, no cause they can still get bailed out by the selection committee.

litre_cola

Fuck them, but not quite as hard as New England, and Duke basketball.

Redshirt

What’s the food and drink of choice for Alabama Schadenfreude Day?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

…and start the excuse making for Alabama still making it to the Playoffs despite shitting the bed.

Shogun Marcus

What in the fuck is this? How do you review a no flag thrown?!

Redshirt

Too Many Men is reviewable.

Mr. Ayo

The Charlie Sheen rule

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought that was when they give the kicking team extra time to clear the excess snow from the field.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice tie-in.

Shogun Marcus

Then every play should be reviewed for holding, and then they’ll never finish a game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s not what she said.

Redshirt

Okay, I’ve been offline for about two hours so I trust that…WHAT THE BLEERGH?!

What the hell happened to Alabama?!

WCS

They morphed into the Bengals so slowly, we didn’t notice.

WCS

Who substituted the Browns for Bama?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Iron Bowl” sounds like a code word the judges on Iron Chef use when the mystery ingredient is going to be Chipotle.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Alternate joke: They’re gonna need a bigger Iron Bowl to contain the gargantuan shit that Alabama took on that last play.

WCS

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herodotus450

“Chef Miguel, you have brought shame on your family for generations to come with this e. coli-ridden fajita burrito bowl. Take this katana and go, do the right thing. You are banished from Kitchen Stadium.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“So…you’re finished with that?”

– Andy Reid, gesturing towards the unfinished burrito bowl.

Sharkbait

Fuck yeah my friday

herodotus450

If Alabama’s name was “Wisconsin” instead, would they even be ranked?

Shogun Marcus

Nope. Especially after that bye-week bullshit last week.

herodotus450

But Mercer is a TOUGH Div-1AA opponent. The toughest. And what is is bama supposed to do? Play a real team?

Shogun Marcus

Auburn pleases me. It will do nothing to aid my jv squad, but angry saban is my favorite as he should always be sad.

rockingdog

Auburn making moves.

herodotus450

For Ratings sake you can’t have two sec teams in the playoff, right? Otherwise I’ll have to start rooting for Alabama apparently…

WCS

WVU scores! 45-17 Boomer Sooner. THE RALLY BEGINS

Ron Howard: It wasn’t.

litre_cola

Great week last week, a big bag of hot garbage gambling this week.

rockingdog

Back. Oh shit this Iron Bowl is good…

blaxabbath

Manny Wilkins INT as ASU tries to drive before the half.

UA up 24-14.

blaxabbath

Add a 15 yard unsportsman like. Few plays later and it’s 3rd and 2 on ASU 46 with 14 secs left.

litre_cola

I am glad I am not able to get that game. I would be very angry.

blaxabbath

Want the feed url?

litre_cola

found one for the second half. uggh

WCS

Interesting…

WCS

That ball hit the turf. No touchdown.

WCS

No fucking way.

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