Our Final Full Lesser Footy Day of 2017 – Cherish It

Yes, our long winter of discontent beckons.  Blech.

We jump straight into the 10:00 window, there being no early match.  Which kind of sucks.  Anyway, NBCSN brings you Man U hosting the surprisingly competent, 9th position Seagulls of Brighton & Hove.  CNBC has alternate viewing, in the form of Spurs hosting dire West Brom.  Barcodes v. Moose Hornets on NBC Gold is a much better bet.

5th position Redshite host resurgent 3rd place Chelsea in the 12:30 big NBC spotlight dance, which for once lives up to its moniker.  I will at least stream it, since the local Raleigh, NC network affiliate is showing Boston College/Syracuse JV action instead.  Sad!

Sunday brings us three fairly intriguing fixtures, with the 8:30 opener – Everton’s visit to St. Mary’s (Soton) only available on NBC Gold.  Both these sides (16th and 14th) are on poor form, and in need of answers.  Anyway, I shall be watching and hoping…and still waiting for a permanent manager.

As for matches normal humans might watch, 6th position Arsenal visit 7th place Burnley (9:00, CNBC), followed by runaway freight train Man City’s visit to #10 Huddersfield Town (11:00, NBCSN).  One expects the visitor “name side” to hold serve, but each match could be more difficult sledding than the untrained eye might expect.

On to the full, bountiful JV slate!

Georgia at Georgia Tech (Noon, ABC)

There Will Be Rushing Attempts.

Ohio State at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

/imagine picture of lukewarm pool of jism

Florida State at Florida (Noon, ESPN)

Fun Fact!  Both these sides are 4-6, and both have re-scheduled patsy games next week, while real teams play for conference supremacy.  One of them will get bowl qualification out of said sad exercise.  The other…just MOAR realization of just how deep the hole is.

Indiana at Purdue (Noon, ESPN2)

Two 5-6 teams that hate each other.  Yes, please!!

Alabama at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Match of the Day.  DUH.  Winner takes all, and yes, I believe War Damn Eagle gets into the playoffs if it wins out.  I also believe Roll Damn Tide gets in at 11-1 with a loss here or to UGA.  Spoiler alert – I don’t believe either hypothetical loss happens, leaving Bama the only SEC PAAAAAWWWWWLLLL!!! representative.

Iowa State at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)

The Undead Bill Snyders will probably lose here, just to make BDSM State folk even angrier.  Cyclones remain one of the year’s better stories.

West By God Virginia at Oklahoma (3:45, ESPN)

I don’t wanna say “trap game” but….FUCKING TRAP GAME.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee (4:00, SECN)

Oh, the humiliation of it.  To be 0-7 in SEC play, and face similarly 0-7 Vandy…at home, on the last day of the season, each with nothing to play for.  Could easily be the lowest single point of Volunteer sports history.  I will watch more of this than I care to admit, because I’m really fucking weird.

Clemson at South Carolina (7:30, ESPN)

There are usually fights in this one, more than sufficient reason to tune in.  Rednecks at night, y’all.

Texas A&M at LSU (7:45, ESPN2)

I wish I attended a university where a football coach could enter the season finale a ded man walking at fucking 7-4 in the toughest division of the toughest conference in JV NFL.

Notre Dame at Stanford (8:00, ABC)

Hey, everybody, it’s the one time a year I pull for boring-ass Stanford.

Washington State at Washington (8:00, Fox)

Apple Cup, y’all!  Neat name, neat rivalry.  Wazzu has already beaten the Troi Boiz once, so they really need this win as a major step forward for their program.  Huskies can only play spoiler in favour of the Trees.

Colorado at Utah (10:00, FS1)

Not a great tweaker match-up, but at least it’s 5-6 v. 5-6, and Team Secular Big Love always gives a good effort.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Today…..War Damn Eagle!!!!
And money from the ACC screwing my alma mater.

Could be worse.

herodotus450

Iron Bowl eh? I haven’t seen this many young Alabamians in one place since the State v. Roy Moore witness list

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did you see the PI on us (was OPI on them..replay proves) which set up their TD?
My dead grandma could have made the right call there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No problem on the first, yes. Coulda been a no call, but fine (so could the ones which went our way, admittedly).
But that 2nd one, holy shit.

litre_cola

Hippo, our go to Wyoming is favoUred by 19.5. Dammit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I fucking hate the ACC. We shoulda got out while we could have and taken VT with us.
Fuck this shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. I wasn’t as vocal at the time, but was in totes agreement.

Spur
Spur

TD Auburn. Hail Satan!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, holy shit.
Screw job on in Raleigh.

Unfuckingbelievable.

blaxabbath

Sup all. Been up prepping and painting (hallway and a section of wall that got some plaster when we did our kitchen) and just called it. i can get on the remaining areas with flat tomorrow (all the prep is done). UA basketball is in complete free-fall but today is the rivalry football game so i wore my Cats sweatshirt to breakfast this morning. We’re a football school now!

Now I just snuck out for a hit and waiting for 2:30 kickoff.

litre_cola

Fear the Fork.

blaxabbath

Whatever the number is, take the over.

litre_cola

Newcastle fan forum is a lot of fun right now after getting killed by the Moose Hornets.

WCS

43 seconds in, and it’s already 7-0 Boomer Sooner.

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litre_cola

Bama isn’t that dominant this year it seems. Dos Saban miss Lane?

blaxabbath

i honestly think 4 and 5 star recruits are dumber than ever. So your veteran college teams of 3-Star guys are now so much smarter and grounded that the elite players simply cannot be coached well enough to blow good teams out.

Redshirt
WCS

That was such a fun game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Beach ball vs Wake Co. Sheriff.
Sheriff wins, but it took awhile.

WCS
scotchnaut

“ALL WE ARE SAYING, IS GIVE PISS A CHANCE.”

-Watersports enthusiasts

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

And another shitteh spot on the punt.
Definitely a Swoffie crew.

Spur

War Eagle!

Viva La Tabula Raza

It would be cool if that O’Korn guy had them put the “K” backwards on the back of his jersey.

scotchnaut

Time for a little snoozie-boo. See all you wonderful bastards in a bit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whatever happened to the U*NC morale dude,Hippo?
He working the Bojanges drive thru now?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did Hippo have a stroke rooting foar Duke?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Suck it Heels.
Like seriously…suck my white ass.

WolfDown.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And of course the PAT is doinked.
Jeebus fucking Christmas.

rockingdog

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rockingdog

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rockingdog

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shitteh spot, but whatevah. Better sure as shit go for it.

scotchnaut

[watches OSU score]

“Well that evens things up.”

-Leveling Ruler, suffering from dementia

herodotus450

And here I am, thinking Caesar Augustus was dead.
/Roads in Rome were famously flat, no?

scotchnaut

“No clue. I’m all about the walls, bro.”

-Hadrian

herodotus450

Is it a net gain if Harbaugh is fired and Mich hires Lane Kiffin?
Net gain for us I mean. In the hilarity probablilty department.

Horatio Cornblower

Moar liek ‘O’Crap’ amirite?

WCS

Game. Blouses.

Spur

Fuck you O’Korn. This is all on you. You should feel like shit.

herodotus450

O’Korn, cracked.

scotchnaut

Me? I don’t care.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Where the hell is Jimmy?

scotchnaut

O’Korn did his best O’Eli.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck these cheating arrogant nasty fuckers.
There, it had to be said.

Let’s do this.

herodotus450

If we ever need a new name for the site, it could just be that: “Fuck these cheating arrogant nasty fuckers.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am somewhat eloquent at times, huh?
😀

Spur

O’Korn will fuck this up.

WCS

NOSTRADAMUS

Redshirt

The mob is already forming on US-23 at the OH-MI State Line. For that kicker’s sake, I hope the defense bails him out.

rockingdog

Trash Lovers Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named Raccoon of the Year, like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and photo shoot. I said probably is no good, I’m busy eating used napkins with gravy on them. Thanks anyway!

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blaxabbath

Man – what a dipshit.

The psychology of cult leaders is amazing.

Redshirt

/ Drives up to Drive-Thru Speaker

“Yes, I’d like one 7 minute game ending drive. Oh, and a Cherry Coke.”

WCS

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Unsurprised

Vanilla Coke, dude. Vanilla Coke.

herodotus450

Oh we don’t have coke, is crystal pepsi ok?

Redshirt

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rockingdog

My friend is at Law school at Wisconsin So…..Go Go Wisco!
Jump Around!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tODlPxhbGF8

scotchnaut

Is cheese law a growing culture there?

WCS

Pat McDoom is a strong name.

scotchnaut

“We’ll be the judge of that!” [rolls die]

-D and D Players

scotchnaut

“BOOM!”

-McDoom

Horatio Cornblower

“McDoom” is a great name for a football player. Or an action star.

Probably not a therapist.

Unsurprised

So I guess someone convinced Chip Kelly that the only black people in Westwood are on the UCLA basketball team, which isn’t entirely incorrect.

rockingdog

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theeWeeBabySeamus

BallsofSteel is prettier than I remember.

scotchnaut

Uh, those aren’t balls, my friend.

Unsurprised

They’re a kind of ball

herodotus450

I thought htey got rid of the sideline warning bullshit and just gave them a penalty right away?

rockingdog

How about this for a christmas gift?
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Redshirt

/ slow clap

herodotus450

There were some good people on both sides of that kick