We had our first significant snowfall last night/into the morning and let me tell you, I don’t miss that stuff at all. Services in my community and along the highway snowplow-wise are dying The Death of a Thousand Cuts. What this seems to mean out this way is that only the main roads are taken care of so it’s a bit of a struggle to get to them. Since I’ve never ended up in a ditch I still giggle when I happen to pass by some unfortunate putz that wasn’t driving according to the conditions. [thinks of a painfully godawful segue] You know who else isn’t driving very well lately? The Dallas Offense! HAH! Let’s go…TO THE GAME!
Dallas/Washington: This NFC East Battle Royale for second place way, way behind the Eagles is sponsored by the good folks of Montreal because it’s Just For Laughs. The winner gets the 6-6 tiara and the brief hope that they be relevant in the wild card race for another week. After Zeke took a league-mandated break the Cowboys run game has fallen apart. I mean that Alfred Morris is so bad… [looks at his yards per carry average of 5.8] Ah…so bad that they only give him 12 touches a game! Yeah, that’s it. Sure does seem that the thinking of OC Linehan changed and he said, “It’s your team, Canned Ham, let’s see what you can do!”. What the DAK!-ster has responded with is 5 picks in the last two games. If I’m not mistaken, he threw 4 all last year-so perhaps he’s a not-ready-for-prime-time player. As mentioned in this very space before, the Dacteds are suffering from a wee injury apocalypse. Captain Kirk Cousins is one of only three fellas on O that has started every game and is surprisingly (to me) second in the league in passing yards. So you fantasy dudes might want to start a certain Crowder kid at the wr spot if y’all have him. He’s given 100+ yards of O for the last 4 in a row. And double down on Sammy Perine, will you?
That was my time-now it’s yours.
Redacteds are only minus fucking two?!?!1?!1
Please tell me some of you degenerates have a few skinoots riding on them!!
totally avoided it. DAL is no mas territory and WAS too schizo
I don’t know how to sportsbet. Plus it may not be legal in my state, even online.
So the Matt Lauer thing…I really got to know how the hell he got the door lock thing through NBC.
I mean that is at least a purchase order and then a work order. Its sort of like imagining a Bond villain trying to get his lair built.
https://youtu.be/tDedpreZH-0
Now I heard the argument that NBC provided these locking devices for all their upper management people….which I guess means they almost expected a mass office shooting and they wanted to protect the important people while the peons got murdered or something.
I can’t imagine working at a place where the management has safe rooms because they treat everyone so insanely shitty.
Unless you’re Batman, you don’t need a remote lock to your office door!
Never been a fan of Batman. He is basically a rich asshole who makes his money exploiting a city for all its worth and then for kicks, goes out and savagely beats minorities and people with disabilities.
Dude…
So… Trump?
I have never tried a case, yet I am certain I could get ALL TEH MONIES from NBC out of that one, with no discovery beyond Google.
But what if there was an active shooter in the building? That would be a valid reason. Say, an angry female he may have hurt who was ignored and shunned by her peers following it.
Don’t get hurt Dak.
Kanye’s all about the WAS unis
monastic robes should be a thang again
You are not wrong. I have a dress that’s sorta robe-like and I love it.
Do those come in a men’s cut?
/looks like something from my dead grandmother’s closet
WHY is there no shitty conference title match to flip to? I ain’t gonna watch these assdicks fap around on Saturday afternoon when real sides are playing.
[visions of Ryan Kerrigan dances through her head]
-Dok
Surely there is a non-creepy way we can Cyrano de Bergerac that, yeah?
How large is Kerrigan’s nose? (not that Dok would be concerned about that)
notice that Dok is not telling us no.
https://slimages.macysassets.com/is/image/MCY/products/8/optimized/3088818_fpx.tif?op_sharpen=1
See? They should be velour!
Fuckity fuck, those vape pens fucking rock. I gotta figure a way to get some of them home.
Might have to take a chance and mail some to Hippo’s house. Kind of a reverse mule.
No, not like that.
Dude! Really? MONQ is one way…pricey but ok. Otherwise buy Joyetech Penguin, fill up your tank, blend, smile.
This was just an experiment, truth be told. And I’ve to a mod at home, just gotta learn to make the juice.
But I have to say I’m impressed by this pen. I really didn’t expect much potency out of it.
Tell me your secrets…later of course.
Eli got done wrong and i hope he goes to the Jags or Donks but have we forgotten the hissy fit he had to avoid the Chargers. Chargers were crappy but Eli and his dad were real dicks about it.
Dongs?…let me edit that
If he’s going then by god I’m going!!!!.
– A. Rodgers
Hey, I’d gladly be the Denver Dongs to get Out ‘n’ Proud A.A. Ron in town!
I’d argue it was Archie more than Eli. He was a youngster that didn’t know a helluva lot more than he does right now.
DAK! don’t look natural on that horse.
Quick! Pic sharing that does the https!
I, like all other Zeke owners, are here tonight for one reason: To witness the complete destruction of Dak Prescott. May he fail to survive the first half.
“Burgundy on burgundy?” [thumbs down]
-Pretty much every artist ever
You have my interest.
DAL sure tried to fuck that up
Huh, I kinda like the WAS color rush unis. They kinda look like jogging suits. I wish they were velour!
it’s like a classic Velvet Jones smoking jacket
The Dallas Defense has never been the same since Elliot got suspended.
Dallas Defense goal is not to be on the field and when they are the other team is behind and is forced to take risks.
Well it seems like the Dallas offense is true to form…
this is NOT the Alfred Morris/Dan Bailey score-a-palooza start I asked for. FUCKERS
Question, why is footbaw the only sport where they say their “minor league” team aka university?
JSD…ITT Tech.
I was just thinking, “some of these guys say their high schools, when is someone going back further?”
“Joe Assclown, Giant Steps Day Care Center”
I think Joe must be in the same class as at least 1 Cromartie.
And two Marmalard spawn
JWASNM…THE UW…milwaukee.
NCAA can’t kill the golden goose. Minor league with low overhead.
THese are the worst fucking uniforms I’ve ever seen
Seattle would like a word.
(looking for Bengals black-on-black combo from early ’00s)
Ah ha! I found the Tootsie Rolls Combo of 2003. They wore this in the last game of ’03 I guess as a preview of the Uniform Change to the current jerseys. All they had to do was beat the Browns and make the playoffs, but the gods saw what they were wearing and said “No way!”
https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/lee-suggs-of-the-cleveland-browns-runs-for-a-25-yard-touchdown-while-picture-id2834555?k=6&m=2834555&s=612×612&w=0&h=nzscPv6kkoad5-0c58ctbnQcdOB13UMA7yIeUF4N8RM=
So disappointed in all of you.*
* no mention whatsoever of the chesty Dacteds fan up above?
I thought it.
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK
DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK
?w=620&h=253&crop=1
Oh, sorry! TITTIES, BEWBS, QUESTIONABLE SHADOWS, SHADY BUSHES, PANTIES ASKEW!!! how’s that?
Panties Askew would be a pretty good band name.
Mark your calendars!
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/college/miami-university/2017/11/30/cleveland-browns-fan-chris-mcneil-gets-permit-perfect-parade-if-team-goes-0-16/909363001/
http://brownsparade.com/
You know the best part of this, it makes the talking morons on the Cleveland Sports Talk radio station go fucking nuts.
Every month the Sales Staff sandbag their sales. My team is left working late to catch us up and then I get yelled at for all the OT.
I hope DFO doesn’t charge per autocorrect from “slur to a person here first” to [*Redacteds]. The Server Bill’s gonna be huge this week!
I see the [*Redacted] s were able to rebel against the Evil Commish and didn’t wear the original planned color rush jersey.
Good! – Bill Parcells
Another fun story. The late Patrice O’Neal was doing a stand-up special on CC in 2003 and he had a bit on the DC sniper. The punchline was, “Once people found out he was black he went from nefarious and devious to a n—a in a Buick.”
Comedy Central censored part of that punchline. It was “Buick” because they weren’t a sponsor at the time.
Patrice O’Neal fucking rocked.
Yes he did.
he did the salmon and honey bit right?
Patric-E narrowly edged out Bill Burr as my favorite of the New York/O&A group, though Burr’s the only one I’ve seen live. He remains the only person I’ve ever seen explain the Angry Pirate on a news network during a serious discussion on gender relations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjIuPSuYSOY
Oh Patreeky
I’m here for the Eagles clinching 11 games in.
Evening Folks! Go Cowboys…..do the right thing and lose all games.
Hippo, I thought I had found something which might kill you. MGM app which lets you bet online with them from phone. Then I saw that one must be physically in the state of Nevada for it to work.
And also probably no blackberry version (LMFAO)
Yes, I’m a li’l drunk.
I do my betting on the Isle of Man become I am exotic.
Curacao here (Top Bet)
Also Litre, I just got back from “shopping”
Mrs Cola knows I am pissed, and said that absolutely I am going next year.
Woo Hoo!!!!
After the game, I’m going to get baked and go to Top Golf I think. Maybe casino later.
I know I won’t be driving anywhere tho. 3 weeks off lowered my tolerance considerably.
Top golf and the soon to be Ice Raiders game was what I was looking forward to but seiing it’s Philly on Sunday night, I wouldn’t have gone to the game any way.
Next time. That’ll give us time to shame Hippo into coming with.
Am I an impossible person to shame into human activity? Yes Other Hippo, yes you are!
#Hustle, it is what counts.
I prefer laptop, generally. BET BET BET BET BET!!!
/have no action tonite
Ditto. Didn’t touch this game.
Brain finally say STOP DIGGING on Jerral’s Boiz
Probably wise.
As an aside, I really getting tired of the “Dak washed up” talking points.
Not sure why anyone expected anything different once Zeke got the hammer once and for all.
From the media that is. That wasn’t aimed at you or anyone else in particular.
speaking of, here go Crissy
I offered to buy my son’s badminton team some jerseys so that they didn’t look like a bunch of losers out there against high schools that are serious about it. The coach sent me a bill for t-shirts. A fucking T-Shirt! Geebuss!
If they don’t have front breast pockets I’d demand money back.
BADMINTON IS TOTALLY SERIOUS, HERO!*
*my son likes it, so I’ll support him
At least you don’t have to lay awake nights worrying about concussions. Not much, anyway.
Damn right! I make him wear a helmet almost all the time.
badminton? Why not offer to get them football shoulder pads with spikes, like the Road Warriors.
Conversation I had with my boss.
Redshirt: “I’m nearing my breaking point!”
Boss: “I talk with the Manager about getting you support.”
Redshirt: “I don’t need support. I need help from the other depts. I’m getting nothing but shit!”
Friends…I’m troubled, so I ask…
Baby brother and I have a, tenuous to be polite, relationship. This runs deep, and that’s not the point. His Wifey controls All It seems.
Thanksgiving. He, wifey, and baby (1st grandbaby) not around because her family is First. I find out haphazardly…#2 is on the way. But I’m not sure if I’m allowed to know. This bullshit must stop. Can I Be Happy?
Some siblings are like that. My father’s side is completely together. Four generations at Christmas.
My mother’s side separated like vapor.
When my grandma passed away, my mom insisted we rush to her apartment to get sentimental stuff because her sister told her they had tickets to Vegas and she was afraid they would go find stuff to pawn. To clarify, her mother passed away suddenly and unplanned and they still went to Vegas as planned but were going to stop by her dead mother’s apartment on the way to the airport.
If something causes you sin or grief, sometimes you gotta cut it out of your life. Show them love, but if they want to be a dick; let them be a dick.
Me and my siblings all agreed to not give a fuck largely due to the nightmare that was our childhood and we scattered to the winds after 20ish. We reconnect immediately when we see each other again, but we’ll go 4-5 years between sometimes. As such, I spend all the important dates with the in-laws, but I also don’t have any pressure to do otherwise.
I get that. But we 3, we’re connected. Hearing, Deaf, Hearing. Mom & Dad Deaf. We got each other through absolutely stupid things. I’ll write more one day. I just wish we could have an afternoon free of everything and…just…be. Sorry Guys. It weighs.
I feel you pain, friend. You’re not alone.
I can’t do the yoga required anymore. Broke my back (literally) once. I can’t anymore. It makes me sick that this is where we are. I can’t apologize for our childhood anymore. Done.
Thank you Sir.
I don’t really care for either of my siblings as adults, despite having good relationships with them growing up. It’s weird. Shit happens.
Hey, at least my cat still likes me.
/all I have left
Evening gents.
Meh
Proof that the Bengals fanbase suffers from Steelers-induced PTSD.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2017/11/27/walkthru-steelers-game-bengals-reconnecting-fan-base/897961001/
Yay! Gregg Zaun is gone from Blue Jays broadcasts.
Than fucking christ. My friends and are talking about this today and we are overjoyed.
I have no clue what kind of a commentator he was, but he was a lynchpin of a world series replay-based computer el beisbol champion side I GM’d. Cheap (in terms of salcap) catchers with offensive upside are a bonus, and he was an OBP/gap power machine that season.
On TV, he was an asshole that learned how to talk, but everything that came out was still shit.
Question: Across all sports, what coach would you want coaching your favourite team? What I’m getting at here is… your fave NFL team lacks disipline-maybe you want Frank Martin to step into the fray and make things right starting day one.
I’ll go first-Scotty Bowman coaching the Giants. He was always successful because he built around his star players and made them even better.
Vince Lombardi coaching the Canucks, because we have no starts (anymore), but he could develop a team that could actually do something.
Even risen-from-the-grave Lombardi would be better than previous coaches.
For a Stanley Cup, I’d even take **shudders**
Belichick.
Yeah I think Bowman is my answer too. Didn’t he win like 8 cups with 4 different teams? Though maybe he just went where he saw the greenest grass…
But, remember when he made Federov, arguably the best forward of his day, play defense for like a month? I don’t really remember it, because it was thirty years ago or something, but it’s a crazy story to think about now. That’d be like if Ovechkin just played D because his team needed him, and he was top 4 good at it just out of pure athleticism.
Grumblelord managing Everton, since we’ve already sold our soul. Might as well get some wins out of it. MILFs of Merseyside, beware!
Paolo di Canio coaching the New York Rangers.
The answer is Buddy Ryan for anything.
Breaking news: Montreal is a stupid team of doodyheads who stink at hockey and are too dumb to read and also probably can’t wipe their own butts. Which also stink.
/Just woke up from a coma, it’s still 1954 right?
Bad news – Clarence Campbell has suspended the Rocket for tonight’s game. Stay indoors!
They beat the Sens the other night. I HATE YOU! [runs away crying]
Didn’t the last two times they won the Cup in ’86 and ’93, fans pretty much laid waste to Saint Catherine St? Shit, they had a mini-riot after they won a first round series within the last decade.
Well, at least they rioted after wins. Vancouver on the other hand….
THAT PAIN RUNS DEEP!
I heard you if you get real close to Dave Babych, you can smell tear gas. And choloroform.
That’s just his mustache. Even today, it’s still glorious.
“You? You’re what I’d call an amateur.”
-Lanny McDonald
Hooray Thursday Night Football!
–Nobody
Balls, GWS is giving away a prize a day for the next 12 days, and today’s is a spot in the team photo. Think they’d fly me out to Australia for it?
I could start Captain Dingleberry, but leaning towards sticking with Baby Buster in the desert this weekend. I need the upside.
This show was at least 60% responsible for my humor and 100% responsible for any burned bridges in my life. God I loved it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hogK5LH7Mw
The stand-off between Giraldo and Leary was [makes kissing noise] the best.
The fun thing was how the comics would do little things to undermine Colin, sometimes unwittingly. They didn’t give a shit he was on TV, they were going to smash anyone who was being a prick. I guarantee you Leary did that as a favor to Colin, and Giraldo just shit down his throat.
I give all credit to Colin. He could have shaped the show to be viewer-friendly but he took a chance. It ended up being wildly entertaining and nearly went off the rails several times.
Well, not just viewer-friendly but network-friendly. He had a ton of battles with CC over content.
Bobby Kelly told one story about how Colin was told “Hey, Jon’s our politics and that kind of stuff guy. We would rather you do more entertainment stories.” Colin balked and said these comics don’t give a shit about that stuff.
I want to say within the week, Colin was introducing a story about the end of Average Joe, and Nick DiPaolo interrupts him mid-sentence, “Oh who gives a shit?” Colin then looks right at the camera with a smirk and goes, “See? They don’t care.”
I like comedy that takes chances. Goddamnit, why did Louis CK have to be such a creep?
In minor but ultimately terrifying news, the departure of the Oily Sexy Rexy Tillerson means that genuinely awful man Tom Cotton got a promotion to head of the CIA. I look forward to him ushering in the final act of the apolcalyse on January 20, 2025.
optimist
The good thing about President Tom Cotton is that we can reuse all those Glennon giraffe jokes because dude is one necky motherfucker.
The bad thing is this perverse adaptation will allow him to survive the salty, bloody rise of the world’s oceans.
I was really looking forward to seeing a college basketball game on an aircraft carrier. The NCAA really does suck, don’t it?
No Perine! None. Zero. Most important week of the year in FF.
Wha happen? with Perine
I hope he trips over fat Robs rib bones and gets no points.
Would hurt DFO side, but help money league side. Tradeoff MOAR than acceptable!
/praying for Bailey and MorrisPOINTS galore
Currently being sold at Walmart: Advocating suppression of the press. Very Healthy.
[hugs Canada]
All these soft pampered suburbanites can dream of The Night of the Rope all they want but as soon as the bullets flying they’ll all be scampering for their scooters to flee.
Also, you spelled “suffocation” wrong.
Lesser Footy Liouns are trying to reach the hipster crowd with today’s signing. They signed someone that nobody has ever heard of, from the Venezuelan lesser footy league, to a massive contract.
So, like, 2000 toonies per year?
Nah, probably 1000. 2000 twoons would be enough money to make Blondell the king of Venezuela.
But 10 twouounies would be enough to get him kidnapped in Venezuela.
This is true. But it’s enough money where they’d have to provide him women. So it’d be a sexy kidnapping because Venezuelan women are pretty, pretty flawless.
It’s Venezuela, so they’re paying him in crates of TP being shipped to his family.
Money league side needs a win for the bye, starting Alfred Morris and Dan Bailey because reasons and 2-game losing streak is likely to be 3.
College Basketball-wise, if the Spartans tear the Fightin’ Irish a new alimentary canal I’ll be happy.
Sparty in Nov/Dec is always poo, though, yeah??
Go….meteor?
Yea NFL! Whoooo!