Your “The NFL Presents: The Unwatchables!” Football Open Thread

Some of our brethren are enjoying the sweaty, seedy favours of the fine town of Las Vegas this weekend. Say a prayer for them, will you? Here’s hoping none of them are flying back home wearing nothing but a barrel held up by suspenders. I wonder what they’ll be doing this afternoon… TO THE GAMES!

SF/CHI: The Niners are going ahead with their plan to be led by a 40-ish female comedian into the future. Somehow the Bears have fooled 3 separate teams into losing to them. Three! How they did that, I’ve no ideer. Probably involves mirrors or some such.

DEN/MIA: These two squadoos have chalked up 12 consecutive losses between them. Woot! Somebody will waddle out of this fixture with a W. A W that means nothing to no one.

TB/GB: Qb Winston is back from a shoulder ouchie and he faces a generous secondary that hands out an average of 304 yards thru the air over the last 5 games. His counterpart Hundley gets to wrestle with the league’s very worst 3rd down D. Plenty to not watch here.

KC/NYJ: Coachella Reid has magically transformed a 5-0 start into a 6-5 miasma. But lo, Revis Island will halt the skid, won’t he. Nope. The Jets are the Jets that we’ve all come to point and laugh at.

IND/JAX: The Jags have themselves a comfy three game homestand at just the right time as they tussle with the Titans for the leadership of the AFC South.

DET/BAL: Both teams are 6-5-the Ravens own the last playoff spot in the AFC and the Lions are just one game behind the Falcons for the coveted “last tean in” designation.

NE/BUF: You can do this, Bills! (they will not)

HOU/TEN: Qb Savage’s practice of charging the opposing team 100 smackers for every turnover he commits has netted him a sweet $1200 over his last 6 games. I’m guessing he’s taking the Titans and the points today so that he can increase his wallet bulge.

MIN/ATL: After crafting a 7 game win spree despite a 2-2 start the Vikes are just one game behind Philly for home field advantage throughout the post-season. Them Falcons are holding onto the last spot with a tenuous grip.

Makea da noise down below.