4:00 EST UPDATE – By Special Commentist Party Demand….
Bearistocrats! at Fuck Lions (4:30, NFLN)
Technically, this one does count as a varsity contest. The line is down to Fuck Lions -5 (ML +195 FOAR Chi****), so it seems maybe the sharps think it’s somewhat likely Fat Stafford’s hand blows up, and/or the Truth Biscuit will be up fer kissing some homeless tittays? I dunno, expecting the John Fox Bearistocrats! to come good two weeks running – especially after a 33-7 demolition job over the Striped Pylons – seems a little much to this Degenerate gambler. But I didn’t bet this at all, plus I have the Fuck Lion D/ST in my money league fantasy playoffs (waivers locked), so jinx factors are a heavy consideration.
Anyhoo, enjoy the precious gift of SATURDAY FOOTBAW.
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Yes, the time when one tries to discern for ALMIGHTY GAMBLOR purposes – just which team truly wants this match the least?
N’Awlins Bowl – Troy v. North Texas (1:00, ESPN)
The line (Troy -6.5) may say the opposite, but gimme the points and the vastly superior nickname. Mean Green!! PRO TIP: Am not actually recommending an actual wager on this game, but if ether binging…
Cure Bowl – Western Kentucky v. Georgia State (2:30, CBSSN)
Cure for what? Pre-Saturday NFL nap insomnia? These sides be a combined 12-11, FWIW. Hilltoppers or Sex Panthers (-6.5)? It really depends on your mood at the moment.
Vegas, Baby! Bowl – Boise State v. Oregon (3:30, ABC)
Finally, a fixture between two sides you may have actually seen play already! I have lost several bets against the Quack Attack earlier in the season, but that was before they first year coach left them high and dry for the rapier pastures of Tallahassee. Gimme the not-very-good Smurfs and the points (6.5 again, Hippo smells a conspiracy afoot).
New Mexico Bowl – Colorado State v. Marshall (4:30, ESPN)
Not sure how this particular bowl will survive without Bob Davie and his surrogate ManningFACE. The Rams are a pseudo-real team and only favoured by 3.5 (plus travelling less) so probably would take them here. Marshall ain’t worth a fuck.
Camellia Bowl – Middle Tennessee v. Arkansas State (8:00, ESPN)
Alabama deserves a much better thank you for Senator-elect Doug Muthafuckin’ Jones! than this wet fart of a game. Would blindly guess Arkie State -3.0, though. And y’all owe Hippo an apology for saying I was crazy for steadfastly predicting there were enough good Southern folk of conscience – even in Bama – to make sure that Senator Paedo was a bridge too far.
Chargers place kicker woes continue unabated.
PRAISE BE TO SHANKLOR
You’re welcome Hippo?
Revis looks like he needs to puke.
Hey. It’s tits o’clock
h
ttps://s33.pixxxels.org/sx71zl5tb/Josephine-_Skriver-_Nude-_Completely-_In-_Black-_And-_White-_Photo.jpg
tremendous dedication by these teams to get into prime punting position
Ryan Adam’s clone has aged well.
how in tarnation you come back in that hoopsball match?
Canuck kid (Brissett) caught fire. They were playing so goddamn shitty….
“Crowd is loud at Arrowhead,” DRINK!
just trying to stay warm and/or scare off teh negroes ,, ppl forget that
I see that dumbass CO State ALMOST came back and covered for me.
nothing goes together like “can’t get too risky” and “Alex Smith”
I like how the announcers of the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl are making fun of the name of the Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl.
Had I any intelligence, I would have benched Tyreek. Just couldn’t risk it with Tiny Hands starting for my opponent.
/juju is hard, y’all
Christ, how I hate these footy sides
Ah, another productive night of reading crackpot Game of Thrones (the book) theories is almost (checks clock) only halfway over!? Gonna be a long nigth.
The Eldritch Apocalypse sounds awesome.
I suppose if that happens it won’t matter WHO Lem Lemoncloak actually is.
For everyone else:
Snoopy’s siblings ranking:
Spike>Belle>>Andy>>>>>>>>Marbles and Olaf
Trent thinks it’s Fourth of July, and he’s King of Neptune.
Are we watching Chefs-Shitty Clippers here, too?
We can liveblog “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown.” Alternately, I can do that, but it’s two-thirds over.
I reckon so. I’ve stopped refreshing the window with the main page in anticipation of a fresh thread…
I thought not, but perhaps Magick Burger King had a problem?
My non-magic one had a problem when I was getting food, but they gave me a large soda instead of a small, so I think it cancels out.
Also I am pretty caffeinated thanks to that. And that was at 3. (It’s 9 now.)
I had to drive my oldest kid to her mom’s in the boonies (25 minutes, but dark and twisty) so I had a coffee at 7:40. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt me later.
More NFL Network bullshit eh? It’s like htey don’t even want me to watch.
1st guy in orders triple Courvoisier neat. Going to be like that eh?
Good. Good.
how much spit you put in it?
Cold outside here at the NHL 100 Classic, but still having a hell of a time!
Ottawa vs Montreal!!!! Cool!
Fuuuuuck. https://gfycat.com/HideousHideousArmyworm
you guys see this? stupid mascot is stupid….but also funny…..
https://twitter.com/Fastball_05/status/942177927533232128/photo/1
There had to have been a focus group for this, right?
Gildan is mostly a shirt company, I think
But headless shirt?
It worked for Clippy, didn it?
Another record-breaking turnout for the New Mexico Bowl.
Woo, Ice Giants over the Ice P*ts in OT.
about fucking time. Got back the yardage negatives you gave up on this drive, at least
Womp womp.
Diggs you asslicker
Don’t look a gift horse in the shit-smelling mouth
Bennie Cunningham vulturing Jordan Howard points is the icing on this ookie cookie
force in a desperate pickerception!
STOP with the garbage yards/pts against my defense, assholes!
THESE BEARS I CALL THEM THE REPUBLICAN TAX PLAN BECAUSE THEY COMPLETELY FUCKING SUCK AND ARE BAD FOR EVERYONE
I thought the FieldTurf Red Wings were back to being a laughingstock? But this report I have says they have a winning record in December?
Chippiness in the Ice Iggles barn just :38 seconds in!
38 seconds since the gates opened? I guess that’s impressive.
Dispatch 1 from bartending xmas party. 50 people 200 bucks a head and they are bringing in a 3 piece 80s rock trio. Open bar. Here we go!
PLAY FREEBIRD!!!!!!
FUCK KHUNT ALL TEH POINTS TO TYREEK
So… is my computer fucked up or has watching John Fox coach finally damaged my brain?
Is this an MC Escher photograph?
Non-Herbsteit announcer making a yabba dabba doo refeerence with some Boise player? Either I missed something or he’s a HUGE fan of the second Flintstones movie.
Boise fan in the stands dressed as Fred, for some reason. I think that’s what it was about probably.
I have sound muted tho.
Heh, I only heard it and wasn’t really watching. They should make a movie about us; I’ll be played by Richard Pryor.
That’s funny as fuck, I don’t care who you are.
Bravo, Sir.
I unfortunately saw that movie.
I said that one while have having sex…… she and i both had a laugh!
Smurfdown to ice it over Monald Muck.
Bears losing a day earlier to free up my Sunday. I appreciate that.
It would seem the fighting potaters got this.
It is the real Herbstreit. Not sure if this is some kind of punishment, warmup, or reward for doing a mid December bowl game in Vegas.
JMU fuckin’ the Jackrabbits right up.
Even their nicknames are second tier.
Is this the real Kirk Herbsteit doind the LV Bowl?
Its art, rite?
hahahaha
The Philadelphia Experiment II has some impressive visuals
Well that sucked a fatty
I DON’T WANT ANOTHER KID!!!!
/there, I’ve said it
I have sad news for you all:
White Chicks is leaving Netflix next month.
thanks Obama
What nooooooo!!!
ugh, fucking Boise
What was the line?
OR -7, ML +245
Ahhh, you be fine.
And lookit whut Det D just gived ya.
UrinatingTree good guy has good points…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwofkOVeSs0
ugh, fucking Detroit
wat