JV NFL Afternoon – BEHOLD Exhibition Season! (and BONUS Varsity Early Game Coverage)

4:00 EST UPDATE – By Special Commentist Party Demand….

Bearistocrats! at Fuck Lions (4:30, NFLN)

Technically, this one does count as a varsity contest.  The line is down to Fuck Lions -5 (ML +195 FOAR Chi****), so it seems maybe the sharps think it’s somewhat likely Fat Stafford’s hand blows up, and/or the Truth Biscuit will be up fer kissing some homeless tittays?  I dunno, expecting the John Fox Bearistocrats! to come good two weeks running – especially after a 33-7 demolition job over the Striped Pylons – seems a little much to this Degenerate gambler.  But I didn’t bet this at all, plus I have the Fuck Lion D/ST in my money league fantasy playoffs (waivers locked), so jinx factors are a heavy consideration.

Anyhoo, enjoy the precious gift of SATURDAY FOOTBAW.

——————————————————————————————

Yes, the time when one tries to discern for ALMIGHTY GAMBLOR purposes – just which team truly wants this match the least?

N’Awlins Bowl – Troy v. North Texas (1:00, ESPN)

The line (Troy -6.5) may say the opposite, but gimme the points and the vastly superior nickname.  Mean Green!!  PRO TIP: Am not actually recommending an actual wager on this game, but if ether binging…

Cure Bowl – Western Kentucky v. Georgia State (2:30, CBSSN)

Cure for what?  Pre-Saturday NFL nap insomnia?  These sides be a combined 12-11, FWIW.  Hilltoppers or Sex Panthers (-6.5)?  It really depends on your mood at the moment.

Vegas, Baby! Bowl – Boise State v. Oregon (3:30, ABC)

Finally, a fixture between two sides you may have actually seen play already!  I have lost several bets against the Quack Attack earlier in the season, but that was before they first year coach left them high and dry for the rapier pastures of Tallahassee.  Gimme the not-very-good Smurfs and the points (6.5 again, Hippo smells a conspiracy afoot).

New Mexico Bowl – Colorado State v. Marshall (4:30, ESPN)

Not sure how this particular bowl will survive without Bob Davie and his surrogate ManningFACE.  The Rams are a pseudo-real team and only favoured by 3.5 (plus travelling less) so probably would take them here.  Marshall ain’t worth a fuck.

Camellia Bowl – Middle Tennessee v. Arkansas State (8:00, ESPN)

Alabama deserves a much better thank you for Senator-elect Doug Muthafuckin’ Jones! than this wet fart of a game.  Would blindly guess Arkie State -3.0, though.  And y’all owe Hippo an apology for saying I was crazy for steadfastly predicting there were enough good Southern folk of conscience – even in Bama – to make sure that Senator Paedo was a bridge too far.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
361 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Viva La Tabula Raza

Chargers place kicker woes continue unabated.

WCS

PRAISE BE TO SHANKLOR

Unsurprised

comment image

Senor Weaselo

You’re welcome Hippo?

Fronkenshteen

Revis looks like he needs to puke.

Unsurprised

Hey. It’s tits o’clock

comment image

Unsurprised

h

ttps://s33.pixxxels.org/sx71zl5tb/Josephine-_Skriver-_Nude-_Completely-_In-_Black-_And-_White-_Photo.jpg

scotchnaut

Ryan Adam’s clone has aged well.

scotchnaut

Canuck kid (Brissett) caught fire. They were playing so goddamn shitty….

Senor Weaselo

“Crowd is loud at Arrowhead,” DRINK!

Senor Weaselo

I like how the announcers of the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl are making fun of the name of the Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl.

herodotus450

Ah, another productive night of reading crackpot Game of Thrones (the book) theories is almost (checks clock) only halfway over!? Gonna be a long nigth.

Unsurprised

The Eldritch Apocalypse sounds awesome.

herodotus450

I suppose if that happens it won’t matter WHO Lem Lemoncloak actually is.

Senor Weaselo

Snoopy’s siblings ranking:

Spike>Belle>>Andy>>>>>>>>Marbles and Olaf

WCS

Trent thinks it’s Fourth of July, and he’s King of Neptune.

WCS

Are we watching Chefs-Shitty Clippers here, too?

Senor Weaselo

We can liveblog “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown.” Alternately, I can do that, but it’s two-thirds over.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I reckon so. I’ve stopped refreshing the window with the main page in anticipation of a fresh thread…

Senor Weaselo

My non-magic one had a problem when I was getting food, but they gave me a large soda instead of a small, so I think it cancels out.

Also I am pretty caffeinated thanks to that. And that was at 3. (It’s 9 now.)

herodotus450

More NFL Network bullshit eh? It’s like htey don’t even want me to watch.

litre_cola

1st guy in orders triple Courvoisier neat. Going to be like that eh?

Unsurprised

Good. Good.

The Maestro

Cold outside here at the NHL 100 Classic, but still having a hell of a time!

comment image

rockingdog

Ottawa vs Montreal!!!! Cool!

Unsurprised
rockingdog

you guys see this? stupid mascot is stupid….but also funny…..
https://twitter.com/Fastball_05/status/942177927533232128/photo/1
comment image

Senor Weaselo

There had to have been a focus group for this, right?

herodotus450

Gildan is mostly a shirt company, I think

Senor Weaselo

But headless shirt?

herodotus450

It worked for Clippy, didn it?

Unsurprised

Another record-breaking turnout for the New Mexico Bowl.

Senor Weaselo

Woo, Ice Giants over the Ice P*ts in OT.

...

Womp womp.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t look a gift horse in the shit-smelling mouth

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bennie Cunningham vulturing Jordan Howard points is the icing on this ookie cookie

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THESE BEARS I CALL THEM THE REPUBLICAN TAX PLAN BECAUSE THEY COMPLETELY FUCKING SUCK AND ARE BAD FOR EVERYONE

herodotus450

I thought the FieldTurf Red Wings were back to being a laughingstock? But this report I have says they have a winning record in December?

Brick Meathook

comment image

Spanky Datass

Chippiness in the Ice Iggles barn just :38 seconds in!

Senor Weaselo

38 seconds since the gates opened? I guess that’s impressive.

litre_cola

Dispatch 1 from bartending xmas party. 50 people 200 bucks a head and they are bringing in a 3 piece 80s rock trio. Open bar. Here we go!

PLAY FREEBIRD!!!!!!

FUCK KHUNT ALL TEH POINTS TO TYREEK

herodotus450

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

...

So… is my computer fucked up or has watching John Fox coach finally damaged my brain?

WCS

Is this an MC Escher photograph?

herodotus450

Non-Herbsteit announcer making a yabba dabba doo refeerence with some Boise player? Either I missed something or he’s a HUGE fan of the second Flintstones movie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Boise fan in the stands dressed as Fred, for some reason. I think that’s what it was about probably.
I have sound muted tho.

herodotus450

Heh, I only heard it and wasn’t really watching. They should make a movie about us; I’ll be played by Richard Pryor.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s funny as fuck, I don’t care who you are.
Bravo, Sir.

Senor Weaselo

I unfortunately saw that movie.

rockingdog

I said that one while have having sex…… she and i both had a laugh!

Senor Weaselo

Smurfdown to ice it over Monald Muck.

...

Bears losing a day earlier to free up my Sunday. I appreciate that.

Shogun Marcus

It would seem the fighting potaters got this.

herodotus450

It is the real Herbstreit. Not sure if this is some kind of punishment, warmup, or reward for doing a mid December bowl game in Vegas.

Fronkenshteen

JMU fuckin’ the Jackrabbits right up.

herodotus450

Even their nicknames are second tier.

herodotus450

Is this the real Kirk Herbsteit doind the LV Bowl?

Brick Meathook

comment image

rockingdog

Its art, rite?

hahahaha

Gratliff

The Philadelphia Experiment II has some impressive visuals

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well that sucked a fatty

Fronkenshteen

I DON’T WANT ANOTHER KID!!!!

/there, I’ve said it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have sad news for you all:

White Chicks is leaving Netflix next month.

rockingdog

What nooooooo!!!
comment image

rockingdog

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

What was the line?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ahhh, you be fine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And lookit whut Det D just gived ya.

rockingdog

UrinatingTree good guy has good points…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwofkOVeSs0

Brick Meathook

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

wat