Oh my, we’ve got some jugger-naughty thrills and spills coming our way don’t we? I’m genuinely excited for what’s in front of us. Let’s take a not-so-deep dive (“NO RUNNING NEAR THE POOL!”) into the festivities… TO THE GAMES!
L.A. RAMS/SEATTLE:
De facto NFC West Championship Game? It sure feels/seems like it so let’s call it that. If the Rams take it they’ll be up two games with two left to go and the Titans and Niners remaining on their sked. On t’udder side, the Oceanbirds are staring at the Cowboys and Cards afterwards. As noted last week/week before, (it’s all a blur, folks) Seattle’s O relies on qb Wilson’s arm and legs for points to an out-sized extent-containing him in the pocket is a fool’s errand but one which the Rams edge rushers will attempt to do nonetheless. The Rammers also desperately need cb Tru Jackson to recover his form after committing two godawful penalties which contributed to the loss last week. Wr-wise Robert Woods is back in the fold after a wee absence-he racked up a weighty 162 yards the last time these two encountered one another.
Tennessee/San Fran:
This is the over-looked sibling sandwiched between two over-achieving brothers. However knowing how the NFL tends to work, this one will somehow be the most entertaining of the three at the 4 spot.
New England/Pittsburgh:
Here’s hoping this one is able to come somewhere near the parameters of the restraining order that is the hype surrounding this tilt. Does that make sense to you? It did in my thinker-spot. Aside from a 40-17 blowout of the Titans, 5 of the Steelers last 6 wins have come by margins of 5, 3, 3, 3 and 1. That’s bulimia-plagued supermodel skinny win margins, you all. Was it luck? Are they good enough to beat a Pats team coming off an embarrassing (to them) loss to the Fins? Let’s you and me and we see, oui?
Please donate words and letters in an organized form down below.
Hey! That guy in the stands has the same Cthulu facemask I have!
Baby Buster, where the fuck you at?
“Right here, throwing for this first down!”
get Gurley 40 touches, dudes
“I’m Russell WIlson. I’m just going to put this football down right here for a moment”
Seahawks AND Packers getting knocked out? Surely a festivus miracle.
this is Russell Wilson’s fumble!
Naw, they ain’t fighting, they hugging it out!
Fuck it. I’m drinking.
I deem him PEG LEG ANTONIO
Are the Seahawks going to wait until the end 4th quarter to start the cheap shots and late hits.
The Seahawks have had a wild ride from shit, to winners, and basically back to shit
Seattle tapeworms have never been happier.
BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR GODD TURLEY
GurleyDOWN!!!!
hearing the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! whispers in your head yet, Balls?
well, I will be against the Antonio Brown side for 3rd place next week, so YAY
Yay!
TonyO brown maybe hurt???? oh nooooo
AB ded?
“I’m rooting for the rapist!” he said, with the sense of self-loathing that only the NFL can provide
Well that narrows down which game Horatio is watching to… all of them?
Look at me, I intercepted a pass on fourth down and cost my team 8 yards of field position! PRAISE ME!
“Praise me? PRAISE YOU!” -Spike Jonz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruAi4VBoBSM
They’re totally gonna cut to Shazier moving his arms but not showing him below the waist all game, aren’t they
Why is the MSM giving him the FDR treatment?
Great pull. You belong here.
It will be hard to not let this go to my head.
Elvis on Ed Sullivan?
oof, that was not so good
gotta take notes. go with the grain….
I always love these….
To be fair, they aren’t super specific about what kind of problem you need to have to text
So, what exactly happened with Goff? Did he learn shit? Or is it the rest of the team that changed?
seems like genuine growth/not being around Jeff Fisher
Fisher really was the worst.
Goff took some acid during the offseason and now it all makes sense.
had to make a call to friend back in Berkeley….
Why did the Bears release Robbie Gould again? He was 10 for 10 with the Giants, now 32 for 34 with the 49ers.
a) the Bears
b) no one knows how kickers work
I recall he was rather erratic during his final season, but honestly I don’t know.
EDIT: Okay, it was his second to last season where his accuracy was off. He was fine in his final season bu the Bears released him anyway.
Wasn’t he injured in 2014? He didn’t play the whole season, anyways.
And based on the performance of his replacements, it seems like Chicago might just be a shitty place to kick.
I think so. Stats say he played in 12 games.
What I didn’t realize is that Gould had been kicking with the Bears since 2005! I had forgotten how long he’d been a Bear.
I don’t know. It’s even harder to get excited about the 49rs than it was about the Bears. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, any time I’m in East Bay it’ll be Raiders fans, and if I’m not, people are way more likely to care about basketball.
you don’t want to be one of those millennial NBA hipster douches, tho
I’m technically a millennial. But is this really super different from the whole Michael/Magic then ShaqAttack with his giant ass and Rodman?
I can’t tell if it’s just me being old but it seems legitimately awful
I guess what I’m saying….is it just the NBA, or is in the NBA today?
To me, it seems magnified of what it was already turning into – starfucking “sports-themed entertainment” rather than sports itself.
What it also has now that is new is the (current) Deadspin culture of people that only really seem to follow the NBA (and maybe USMNT lesser footy), and I super-duper hate that.
More like Magic/Bird, but yeah. I like it, because I miss that rivalry before 1988 when Jordan became, well, Jordan.
the old school NBA 30 for 30s did make me rather wistful
Todd Gurley is quite the footballist
Los Angeles, are you all excite??
Okay. First 10 minutes of this game okay
RODGERSDOWN*
*not the one you were thinking about
I mean, we don’t know what A.A. Ron is up to right now
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!
all day, all nite!!!
Can check, er Drink check friends!
Ive got a narranganset. Anyone else?
My drink is called The Clink
https://gfycat.com/FatalGrouchyDegu
Seahawks digging a hole for themselves so they can have a miraculous late-game comeback…
And still lose.
Is he Faro like the grain? OR Pharoh like the oppresive God-Kings of Egypt?
Or perhaps Faroe like the islands?
Did you know that Ptolemy might have been Alexander the Great’s illegit half bro?
I didn’t – neat!
I only learned that yesterday 🙂
Or Farrow like the Mia?
/pay no attention to the baby
SEX BURKHEAD WITH THE TOUCHDOWN
Hustle Fam
BRANDIN IS COOKIN’ OUT THERE-AH
What exactly is Brady’s end of career trajectory? Injury he doesn’t come back from? Getting slowly worse until he’s benched? Unexpectedly traded to another team for one horrible season? Or just announcing a retirement and then retiring?
Brady strikes me as the lunkheaded arrogant type so he’ll insist upon playing well past when he’s useless and then pitch a fit about it right before he’s released.
I think a fluke injury at home during the off season. like slipping on one of Gisele’s hair rollers. Giving her Yoko Ono status in Boston forever.
Oh gosh. its raining at the pats steelers game
“Easy with the language there, fella.”
-Carson Wentz, moderator
Dreamboat so SMAHHHT
What is this unholy abomination?
its that Dog named Pig.
I need alcohol.
Join the glug.
Cheers, friend
As a Steelers fan, I feel that I errored in not making a second trip to the liquor store before this game.
“There’s still Time!”
-Morris Day and the
Time for your weekly HUE JACKSON PERFORMANCE UPDATE!
Hue Jackson, a man that gets paid a LOT of money to win football games in the NFL, is now 1 for 30 as a head coach of the Browns.
Three percent…he has won three…fucking….percent of the games he has coached for the Browns.
Christ. That’s….wow.
From December 2015 to now, there have been three new Star Wars movies released. In that same time frame, the Cleveland Browns have had ONE win. That’s it.
Jesus, fuck.
Maybe they are spending practice time watching movies.
May I interest Cleveland in an upgrade in the form of one slightly-used John Fox?
And the Bengals are gonna try to lure him away.
Hey, 12-2, 2-12! Symmetrical!
Hoo boy. GAME OF THE YEAR!!!111!!! time is now. Better get to drankin’.
stupid honky muthafucka
What did I do this time?
Sheeeesh.
It’s a damned shame they didn’t flex this SEA/RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! match to SNF
Mmmm, nice little nap there. Anything happen that I didn’t expect? *looks at early scores* Nope, not a blessed thing.
Get this shit done with, New England.
That’s an interesting superpower.