Because Scotchnaut got shamed today while buying beer at the pet store, and thus is now drowning his sorrows with Modelo and single malt, you’re stuck with me tonight.
If you didn’t do the required reading earlier today, you won’t get those references. And thus you should feel as much shame as him. Even more, actually. At least he was trying.
Though he didn’t buy me a puppy so I’m kinda still not happy with him.
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My Fantasy Football Season Is Over
And good riddance.
At the time of this writing, I’m not technically eliminated from the playoffs. But it would take a minor … errrrrr yuuuuuuge miracle for me to recover today. Thus, unlike a certain Alabamian sex offender we all know and love, I’ve already extended my concession to BeastmodeAteMyBaby. Dude kicked my ass but good to finish off my unremarkable late season slide.
Karma’s a bitch.
I’ll remember that the next time I think about giving someone shit, even as good-natured/humorous as it was intended. Sincere apologies to Covalent Blonde on that one, and congrats to her for then also kicking my ass and starting my late season slide into oblivion/also-ran status.
King Hippo also kicked my ass during that slide, but I expected that one. And he can just suck it anyway.
No, seriously Vlad. Dude’s enjoying my first round bye and winning dough like he gotz a horseshoe up he arse.
(though at the moment, my Yinzer moneyline bet is still looking OK)
((never mind…P*ts FG ties it up…. Jerks))
On the bright side, at least I don’t have to root for Tawmmy to get me the FF win today. And that’s priceless.
Break a leg, Tawmmy….literally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX4Jlm75CdM
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So Who We Got Tonight?
Oh. Crap. Really?
Dallas @ Oakland (+3.0, o/u 46.0)
The Fighten’ JJ’s are still without Zeke for one more week (hey that rhymed). Yet they’ve found a way to limp to a coupla wins lately and keep hope alive. Dak Dak Dak seems to not be ded anymore…20/32, 332 yds, 3 TD, 0 int last week. Then again it was vs the Gigantes. But if they can find a way to get out of the bay area with a win tonight, anything is possible once Zeke hits the field next week.
The Fighten’ Al Davises (Davis’ ?, Davis’s ?) on the other hand, have hit upon hard times and have little reason to expect that to change. Amari Cooper is out for tonight, which is probably being seen as good news for Crabtree and Cook owners. But it probably shouldn’t be. Marshawn Lynch is due to disappear again, and neither Richard nor Washington have shown the ability to carry enough of the load when he does. Trust me, I’ve owned all three of them this year. Much to my chagrin.
If the Raiders protect home field and win tonight….? It probably won’t matter, considering they have to travel to Philly and NawtSD to close things out.
If the ‘Boys get the road win tonight….? It could springboard them into the postseason. Because beginning next week, they’ll be a different team with Zeke in tow when they host Seattle and then close out in Philly.
Sooooo….who wants it less?
Prediction: Cowboys 27, Raiders 17
And no, I’m not betting on this game. No way in hell.
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Checking In On My Last Bet Of The Day
Oooooh, TD Yinzburgh!!!!
Dammit, Antonio Brown out for the rest of the game….of course, this week.
smgdh
Oh well….
OK then, go talk about it in the comments as usual.
You can even feel free to make fun of me. It seems a popular thing to do around here lately. And it makes me feel very loved.
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Last Minute Addendum Befoar Scheduled Publishing Time
As always, fuck the P*ts and fuck Tawmmy.
–
/Sighs
That’s amore!
I would assume someone has already said this, but I’m not going to wade through… 1500 comments, gotdamn that’s good husyle. I guess I have my Monday work reading ready.
Anyhoo, when/if “Mister” addresses these allegations that are the least shocking thing I’ve heard, how long till he blames it on brain damage from football?
Click for gif. I could post that, but eh.
So has net neutrality really slowed down porn?
/asking foar a friend
Not for me.
The rules in place now allow you access the same as anybody else. The new rollback of rules has not gone into affect yet, and will surely be challenged in court. The large corporations will eventually make it so you will have to pay a lot more for access.
Goddamn. Did I have a fucking adventure today. Some highlights!
1. A nun asked my violist friend and me if we were seminary students, and whether we were living at home or at parish. (We were wearing black and our instruments were down.)
II. Listened to a steel drum rendition of Jingle Bells.
C.. Listened a version of Twelve Days of Christmas that needs to go viral. Because the youths (I would say around confirmation age, this was a church concert) acted out all twelve presents and we were laughing our asses off.
iv. Hectically playing songs with choir/singers because they know it mostly by ear and by words. So if our edition has a difference or they don’t hold for a certain length we have to get back with them because they won’t with us.
Five. Saw a Chinese fire drill right in front of me.
^. Had a hubcap (not mine) roll by me on the Jackie Robinson.
Sieben. Apparently while I was doing all this ridiculous stuff… my undershirt was on inside-out.
Anything good happen while I was out?
I hate you.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Today’s games:
What’s the girl’s name?
Sister Mary Elephant, of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaCNA3pink
So weird to be in a place where people are sad that the mayor died. EAT SHIT RAHM! AND GOODNIGHT!
Ice Liouns got blown out–and their prized possession, Brock Boeser looks like he’ll be on the IR– and C-Hox got blown out.
Champagne Rick might be on suicide watch
Probably depends on how his own five hole is doing
Steph Curry might buy the Panthers?! BWAHAHA
Btw, Yahoo thinks I have a 2% chance to make up 20+ points tomorrow night to win.
I have no players remaining. My opponent has Julio Jones.
Yahoo thinks there’s a 2% chance Julio scores negative 20.
Yeah, this is standard yahoo math. They using some heavy fucking tailed distributions.
Is that a smart remark about my fat ass Dok?
I wish!
You tease.
Chris Henry didn’t even score negative 20 dismounting off that truck
-10 for the jump and -10 for the landing.
I mean, I noted there is NO WAY it will take away 99/1%…but 2?
Earlier tonight, I had a 1% chance to make up 20ish pts with Succop being my only active player left with about 10 seconds on the clock.
That woulda been some amazing FG kicking, lemme tell ya.
That’d be some Kim Jung Il numbers if he did that
Yahoo projected I’d finish 700 points behind the winner in my hockey pool. I’m currently in first place and historically, nobody in our pool has finished more than 200 points behind first place.
What Yahoo doesn’t know could fill up a warehouse.
Gonna be real awkward at the PF Chang’s tomorrow….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY
Not gonna lie. I’m tempted to delete that comment.
Jeebus I hate that song.
This is a bad taek. It’sa good song back when Mariah had some serious heat
Interesting. Usually I get called out for liking shitty music, not vice versa.
The point is just to yell at you. It doesn’t matter why.
Transamerica doesn’t deserve a goddamn tower. The most high tech way I can roll over my 401k is fax.
“Redacted America”
Fixed that for you
They just discontinued carrier pigeon service last quarter.
Question: Was Masa Richardson supportive of Goodell or of Jerral?
Imma back to sleep, it’s only 9 pm? wtf?
May as well get in 8 good hours, and even accounting for restlessness you can be up at 6 to be a hyper-productive go-getter.
6 is the sleeping in I get to do MWF
Then definitely go for 8 now.
Good start.
EHY, ANYONE WANT SOME SHARES OF PIECE OF PAPER IPO?
Cowboys still alive. Seattle loses. GB loses, fuck you Rodgers. Eagles look suspect. and the Steelers and Pats slap each other.
Is that a war going on outside the window?
I WILL NEVER STOP MASTURBATING!
I WILL NEVER STOP MASTURBATING! #Iloveme
#Ihatemyselfmorethananyone
this guy gets it!
I’m not getting shit. That’s a partial cause and effect of me hating myself.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
and you question why I went back to church.
Not at all.
look at that shit eating grin on the refs face!
At least I didn’t pay huge amounts of money to go to this game
Go to a night baseball game in Oakland in July. You’ll need a wool cap and gloves.
It’ll be under freezing then?
Doesn’t need to be.
I don’t think you understand what hats and gloves are for. I’ve been to about a half dozen Bears games in less. It doesn’t get cold here. I’m not going to bundle up for some weird-ass west coast version of cold.
Revenge of the Zeke.
I’m going to try to see if I can find any joy in the enraged reactions of my fellow fans.
am buzzed with joy. holy shit what a game. the Cowboys have been in the “playoffs” for 2 games now, Fight on!
Dallas all the way up to an 8% chance to get in. Go Falcons.