Your “It’s Just A Fantasy” SNF Open Thread

Because Scotchnaut  got shamed today while buying beer at the pet store, and thus is now drowning his sorrows with Modelo and single malt, you’re stuck with me tonight.

If you didn’t do the required reading earlier today, you won’t get those references.  And thus you should feel as much shame as him.  Even more, actually.  At least he was trying.

Though he didn’t buy me a puppy so I’m kinda still not happy with him.

My Fantasy Football Season Is Over

And good riddance.

At the time of this writing, I’m not technically eliminated from the playoffs.  But it would take a minor …  errrrrr yuuuuuuge miracle for me to recover today.  Thus, unlike a certain Alabamian sex offender we all know and love, I’ve already extended my concession to BeastmodeAteMyBaby.  Dude kicked my ass but good to finish off my unremarkable late season slide.

Karma’s a bitch.

I’ll remember that the next time I think about giving someone shit, even as good-natured/humorous as it was intended.  Sincere apologies to Covalent Blonde  on that one, and congrats to her for then also  kicking my ass and starting my late season slide into oblivion/also-ran status.

King Hippo  also kicked my ass during that slide, but I expected that one.  And he can just suck it anyway.

No, seriously Vlad.  Dude’s enjoying my first round bye and  winning dough like he gotz a horseshoe up he arse.

(though at the moment, my Yinzer moneyline bet is still looking OK)

((never mind…P*ts FG ties it up…. Jerks))

On the bright side, at least I don’t have to root for Tawmmy to get me the FF win today.  And that’s priceless.

Break a leg, Tawmmy….literally.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX4Jlm75CdM

So Who We Got Tonight?

Oh.  Crap.  Really?

Dallas @ Oakland (+3.0, o/u 46.0)

The Fighten’ JJ’s are still without Zeke for one more week (hey that rhymed).  Yet they’ve found a way to limp to a coupla wins lately and keep hope alive.  Dak Dak Dak seems to not be ded anymore…20/32, 332 yds, 3 TD, 0 int last week.  Then again it was vs the Gigantes.  But if they can find a way to get out of the bay area with a win tonight, anything is possible once Zeke hits the field next week.

The Fighten’ Al Davises (Davis’ ?, Davis’s ?) on the other hand, have hit upon hard times and have little reason to expect that to change.  Amari Cooper is out for tonight, which is probably being seen as good news for Crabtree and Cook owners.  But it probably shouldn’t be.  Marshawn Lynch is due to disappear again, and neither Richard nor Washington have shown the ability to carry enough of the load when he does.  Trust me, I’ve owned all three of them this year.  Much to my chagrin.

If the Raiders protect home field and win tonight….?  It probably won’t matter, considering they have to travel to Philly and NawtSD to close things out.

If the ‘Boys get the road win tonight….?  It could springboard them into the postseason.  Because beginning next week, they’ll be a different team with Zeke in tow when they host Seattle and then close out in Philly.

Sooooo….who wants it less?

Prediction:  Cowboys 27, Raiders 17

And no, I’m not betting on this game.  No way in hell.

Checking In On My Last Bet Of The Day

Oooooh, TD Yinzburgh!!!!

Dammit, Antonio Brown out for the rest of the game….of course, this  week.

smgdh

Oh well….

OK then, go talk about it in the comments as usual.

You can even feel free to make fun of me.  It seems a popular thing to do around here lately.  And it makes me feel very loved.

Last Minute Addendum Befoar Scheduled Publishing Time

As always, fuck the P*ts and fuck Tawmmy.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

‪Monday Night Football will be decided by the ball being stopped short at the goal line, due to the rulebook stating that poltergeists are technically considered part of the field of play‬.

Doktor Zymm

For fuck’s fucking goddamn sake. Why did I wake up?

King Hippo

welcome to my every morning

Unsurprised

Same

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

What a goddamn day of mayhem that was.

Spur

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Spur

Zeke coming for that ass next week!

Gratliff

Was one suspension not enough?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not as angry as you might expect.

King Hippo

Thanks for making my under bet come in, Derek!

Spur

Touchback and a paper 1st down!!!!!!!!!!!!
comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Ben Rothlisberger: Truly, I am an idiot. No one could fuck up the end of a game worse than I did this weekend.

Derek Carr: Hold my beer and watch this.

Doktor Zymm

Oh For Fuck’s sake. I wake up to this?!

Spur

Holy shit, holy shit…am getting a beer

WCS

And here I thought the Stillers had the worst way to lose today.

Romonobyl

Unfuckinggodamnnoshitbelievable.

King Hippo

THAT’S SO RAIDERS

Spur

Am gonna cum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gratliff

That was either gonna be the most Cowboys or most Raiders game ever, and Raiders win out.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Holy Cow!

Spur

TOUCHBACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

King Hippo

WOMP WOMP

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

This billboard brought to you by the Defense Lawyers Association and the insurance industry.

Romonobyl

OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Gratliff

Oh my god thisfucking game

Spur

fuck DB panicked. he just had to remain calm.

Romonobyl

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

King Hippo

#27? SUCKS

Gratliff

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Derek Carr sucks. Anthony Brown sucks.

Wakezilla

“We’ve switched Derek Carr with his brother David. Lets see if anyone notices.”

Spur

1 more down

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Petronel

This one, presumably.

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Petronel

Surprisingly, GISing “mermaid vibrator” not only produced a usable image very fast, but didn’t require brain bleach.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game would be better if it was played in Vegas and all coked up

Unsurprised

This, for every game.

Romonobyl

The game could use a buzz.

Spur

nice and easy…

Spur

come on defense.

Unsurprised

“Finally, a break!” – Eileen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

weird fetish.

Romonobyl

There’s a JFK joke in there somewhere.

King Hippo

check in the back. No, to the left.

Romonobyl

I’ll go check that little grassy hill out.

King Hippo

guess he’s not too concussed to know where goalposts are

Wakezilla

C’mon Shanklor!

Spur

fuck. i say go for it

Romonobyl

Same, make it tougher for Oakland.

Wakezilla

That didn’t exactly work out for Jerry Richardson.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If I were the Raiders I’d go ahead and let the Cowboys score right away and save some clock. But then, I’m a geologist, not a football strategist

King Hippo

if I didn’t have timeouts, I’d agree. Better to try to force a FG

Romonobyl

Everyone is on Mondays.

Unsurprised

not a football strategist

Neither is anyone on the Raiders.

Spur

Go shove a Stalactite up your ass.

King Hippo

why these idjuts not calling timeout??

Spur

Dez!

Wakezilla

Exhibit #4548597 why the Imperial system is stupid

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s 2017 and we’re still measuring shit like this.

King Hippo

yeah, one would think GPS?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As long as we measure from the taint it’s ok

Viva La Tabula Raza

Front of the taint or back of the taint? It might matter.

Unsurprised

Right where it starts to feel awesome.

Romonobyl

I usually start from the balloon knot.

Spur

one more drink!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

1st DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN