No, that’s not what I meant!!! Get your head in the game!!!
But I also can’t fault ya on that one. One must play to their strengths.
Obligatory:
–
Well, it’s Christmas again
Almost, anyway.
And as I’ve often told people, in spite of the fact that I’m a godless heathen; and in spite of all of the annoying things which must be dealt with pertaining to Christmas…I actually really do like it.
Well, some parts of it.
What I like is that once you get past the increased stress of it, everyone seems a little nicer. A little more charitable. A little more…human.
That being said however, whenever I open a gift, I never get what I really want…
Last year was your last chance, Santa. My last year of tolerance. This year, I’ll be gunning for you.
You gon’ pay what you owe Santa!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y5GtaTrPHM
–
Christmas Trees
Christmas trees are pretty and all, granted. But they’re a pain in the ass if I’m being honest. From the getting/buying them, to setting them up, to cleaning up all the needles every damned day, etc.
And how can it be smrt to bring a dead and very flammable plant into your house, stick it in water, and then put electrical appliances on it? Seems we’re missing the common sense here.
But as I said already, they are pretty. I’ll admit that.
Plus, my kitty likes ’em…
But still, they have to be decorated before they’re pretty, and that’s a pain in the ass too. It takes forever. I absolutely loathe doing it.
Hmmmmmm…..
Ooooookay, I like how you’re thinking. Maybe this year it really will be different. Hold that thought Dear, and let me finish this post.
Then I’m all yours.
–
Sports Wrap Up
Get it? Wrap up? Wrapping paper? Oh screw you guys, that was funny.
NFL
No more TNF to report on. And now that it’s gone, we all regret talking badly about it. Well, “regret” might be a strong word I suppose. It’s like that girlfriend who you knew was wrong for you, but still kinda sorta liked having her around for the once a week bad sex. Just because it was easier. You know you’re better off without her, but…
SNF? Also gone. Christmas Eve this week, week 17 next week. There are two Saturday games again this weekend, however. And you also do get two on Christmas Day (Monday) to make up for it.
So after you’ve locked your family in the closet because you’re tired of the noise, you’ll have plenty to watch.
Saturday/Sunday/Monday Schedule
NHL
I’d just like to point out once again that Vegas is still doing pretty damned well for any team, let alone an expansion franchise. So of course some folks can’t help but try to figure out why.
No national games tonight so check your locals.
NBA
TV Tonight:
- LAC @ Houston – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
- LAL @ Golden State – 10:30pmEST – TV: ESPN
NCAA Football
Bowl Games….wooooo!!!!! There were two earlier today (UAB v OhioU, C.Michigan v Wyoming), but none tonight. But this weekend, finally some good ones. Well, sort of. “Less bad”, let’s say. The “good” ones start to hit next week.
NCAA Basketball
Top25 on TV Tonight:
- Hampton @ (13)Virginia – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN3
- FGCU @ (11)Wichita State – 7:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
- Northwestern @ (17)Oklahoma – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
- (1)Villanova @ Hofstra – 8:30pmEST – TV: FS1
- (9)Xavier @ N. Iowa – 9:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
–
Santa’s Naughty List
Self-explanatory this week, which means you don’t have to hear me yak yak yak incessantly explaining this one.
That’s one of my Christmas gifts to you. Your real gifts should arrive soon. If they don’t, then obviously it was the post office’s fault. Honest.
Enjoy….
Yes, fine Dear. You’ve got my attention. I know I promised. Christmas lights, yada yada yada.
I’ll finish decorating the tree now. Jeebus.
But just remember what you promised to do when I’m finished.
OK, that is not what I meant. Next year I’ll need to be more specific I guess.
(As an aside, I really think she seems fun. Special shout out to Unsurprised for linking that one a few days ago…we likey.)
–
Mrs Claus Needs Love Too
Why not both?
Hehehehehe….get it?
Sorry ladies. I couldn’t resist.
–
Time To Go Relax And Wait For Santa I guess
Hey, you relax your way, I’ll relax mine.
But I do hope you’ve all enjoyed this year’s Christmas edition.
Inorite? Thank goodness someone finally noticed.
Maybe Santa will be extra good to me this year?
Hmmmmm….well that’s not encouraging, is it?
Oh well.
But in all sincerity…
I really do hope everyone’s holidays are the best. All of you folks really mean a lot to me.
Love ya’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HtXao342qI
–
Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…
–
Wie geht’s?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVTvrzjQAGY
Was ist lose?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeTw_p_WglY
Alright. you brought this on yourself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr7n_NLeJQE
I regret nothing!
https://gfycat.com/OrdinarySlipperyGalapagossealion
Naughty or nice?
Yes
https://gfycat.com/BriefAccomplishedKiskadee
Jackpot!
That was a great movie
I’m fully armed too!
Seems fully armed is relative.
If you’re gonna trample me, at least keep it going.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAX06-B6k28
Click click.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUC2EQvdzmY
Would those imply he’s building a Circus Penis Navy and Circus Penis Air Force? I ask because everyone knows the navy has the jauntiest of all hats.
It’s not a competition. Nor should it be.
I’ll try on another night.
Love you my brother but I’m fully armed at this time.
Merry Christmas you old soul you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hPKKvrOu90
No worries. Just don’t wanna impede ya.
Do yo’ thang.
You mean you shouldn’t be impressed by the distance of this stream? Damn.
I mean if someone is gonna step in and trample me, and then I yield, at least have the respect to keep going for at least three songs.
And get my fucking name right.
And while this might sound trivial, and I really wouldn’t care otherwise….
Considering I was called out on this previously….yeah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UymN5scMpZM
Get some!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7sUh-DX7I0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlHHFBAUrBc
I will counteract the WbS effect with my hamster punk style!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P9QMkm9Eew
Who the fuck is WbS?
/asking foar a friend
Yep. It’s been a while. But tonight you’re fucked…..
It’s a tWBS Green Day hole….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ydpSVvXE9k
Also, Salma is cute as FUCK!!!!!!!
Because those WB cartoons worked on a couple levels:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Weeks_(book)
Edit: sorry, this was Disney.
Feels appropriate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxUgW5CLk18
Coming to get you IWDB.
Shit, why iZn’t we getting no closer????
Sexy Friday, check. Corgi Friday, check. Only one thing to do now… BRING BACK MATT!
Everyone seems to want me to do this.
As I said last night….my powers are limited.
Dear Matt, Can you cover the Expo for SB Nation? Love, Senor
Alternately: Dear Matt, Can I cover the Expo for SB Nation? Love, Senor
/In addition to here, obviously
It seems like some here like the auto update of comments here. I do not. I’m trying to read a post or write one and the page updates and jerks what I was reading/writing out of view and I have to scroll around to find where I was. Let me update when I’m ready, dammit. Bring back the blue box!
Northern Canadian women.
Called cadence in Navy bootcamp, 1981:
“I don’t know but I been told
Eskimo pussy mighty cold”
It does take some getting used to.
The little clicky blue box was a regression believe it or not.
On most threads, autoload doesn’t matter. Busy open threads it can sometimes get annoying, agreed.
Plus I liked the “response to my comment” so I could respond more quickly if appropriate rather than trying to search it out. Like you said, only an issue when the joint is jumping.
Yep, understood.
I was beginning to get used to that meself.
I did like the ego stroke of the blue box with the replies to my comments. If the blue boxes came back, I could live with them if there was a keyboard shortcut to update.
Hmmmm….will pass that along to the smrt guys.
Not sure that’s possible tho.
This is going to break a fascinating amount of things
THANKS OBAMA!
I know he’s screaming “BENGHAZIIIIIIIIII!!!”
Rock out! Wooo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyBFxjmJPqk
My favorite part is the DJ, who literally says, “Vig vam bam.” He sounds like Doktor Zymm’s less-successful little brother.
Sweet was my first US concert, Santa Monica Civic Auditorium, 1975. Recent Montrose singer Sammy Hagar opened. Sweet had a 15 foot cock and balls (papier mache, methinks) that lowered out of the ceiling above the stage and shot blasts of confetti out over the crowd. A good time was had by all.
Fuck I love Montrose.
Saw Sammy live in 1978 and 1981 with copious Montrose drops.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AHI4DL2BZc
He had just released “Nine on a Ten Scale,” tore the place down, he did Space Station #5, Bad Motor Scooter, and Rock Candy (that I can recall) and at the end told us “Now buy my album, you motherfuckers!” I did.
Hello DFO Radio listeners!
This one goes back to the halcyon days of 91x and the inspiration for all of us beach dwelling, surf punks who had to wake up too damn early to catch a damn wave.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAiOjxkCS0g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlFXhigvTvM
Co-written by Dante apparently: “you gotta go through hell to get to heaven” but you forgot about Purgatorio you bastard!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_L4Rixya64
The close up facial features seem eerily familiar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQYpF2pCkLI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSGWsmR4ipM
Talk of bass players and no Peter Hook?
I named a few and get accused o’ being Mr. Fancy-Pants Know-It-All.
THERES JIMBOB AND THEN THERES EVERYONE ELSE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uzFDIZrBOQ
Anywhoooo….
Worth the wait…
I knew you’d like that one.
Hopefully, lordosis.
Look it up.
Shit, reply fail.
That was ‘sposed to be in reply to Ayo below.
Hmm, you clearly need more vodka.
I think you’re right.
I like you.
Scoliosis?
Hey who’s supposed to be driving?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq2NH8Yinl8
On second thought this could be the theme for Hard Ride to Nowhere.
Patents pending and royalties included of course.
Oh shit. Do I see autoupdating posts again? Christmas miracle!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnK85RoXF6o
For the 2nd week in a row, I am making no changes to my money league fantasy lineup. This week, tis for lack of healthy options. And Hopkins ain’t really healthy, but fucker suitin’ up regardless. Plus, it’s Shitsmas!!
That’s Moosemas to you, pal.
In HRTF, I made no wire moves for I think the first time.
I shifted lineup a bit, but that’s it.
Honestly, I considered waiving everyone and taking the beating which i felt i deserved.
I love you folks.
Hell I feel festive enough that I could give you a kiss.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Z3yhbGFGE
Along with modern bass players, and I think this goes without saying-and also that I speak for everyone here, no need to thank me- everyone from Australia needs to chill out. You’re just a lamer version of Britain without the history or the cheeky accent.
/My name is Blandy Broony btw.
Australia without a functional AC/DC lineup is just New Zealand.
You take that back!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iay9gyLNdBw
Another country heard from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIIZhWCtKHw
But they have conviction! Sorry, I mean convictions. That’s why they came in the first place.
They could’ve thrown tea in the harbor, but by the time anyone from civilization found out about it six years had passed and all the Australians were too drunk to remember what they did.
Vacation starts today and I want to do so little this week that I’m considering telling my son to go look for his unwrapped presents somewhere in the house.
Do that after you hide them at a friend’s house.
or somewhere on the other side of town
Note that I’m not really pissed at Moose, and would never call him a dick in any seriousness. He’s one of the reasons I became a Kommenter, which has led to my inflicting DFO with HRTN, so in essence, yes, you can blame him for that. And now, teh sexay!
I flagged one of internet Dad’s comments and said “This flag comment is a test.” and he responded:
I got your test. Thanks for giving it a run and let me know if someone is being a dick.
He is being pretty nice with a little sarcasm in response to me being a dick.
So “your report is anonymous” is a lie?
HOW DARE HE?
Fuck. Well, no more reporting Mr. Ayo for shits & giggles then.
Dammit…
He was eating cake when he read it.
Hey, I posted sexay girl? Did DTZM do that?
/runs away crying
Part III:
I soon (coupla days as I recall, but it was a weird time) get a call from her mother. The woman whom I’d dated and who should have known me better….accusing me of….
I KNEW that’s all you ever wanted…blah blah blah.
Now, first…..if I’d wanted teenaged girls, I wouldn’t have agreed to a dinner date with this now 35 year old woman.
Second….and this is the funny part…sort of….
This clueless woman had remarried her ex (the daughter’s father) while I was out west. This is 20 yrs later, remember. But he apparently now wanted to kick my ass. Which is hilarious for many reasons…not the least of which is he was also a client way back when. But he was (and I presume still is) a big whiny pussy.
But I guess the thought of me banging his ex wife (and now his again wife), and perhaps his daughter too kinda sent him over the edge. He wanted to fuck me up.
He just couldn’t. I mean….I don’t want to demean the guy…I get how he felt, but honestly, it would have been hilarious if he’d tried.
So, given all of this, and in spite of sage Hippo counsel….I cancelled.
Too much drama in addition to all the drama I was already dealing with.
So I did not complete the mother/daughter combo 20 yrs removed.
But it was close.
Ah, good times.
Sage Hippo Counsel: Surprisingly NOT a fantasy team name!
Dammit Hippo.
On your deathbed will you really consider this a win?
Don’t blame Hippo.
His counsel was solid. It was only after that that the whole thing got all weird and not worth pursuing.
So which one of us knows the grandparents peddling 60 pounds of pot as “Christmas presents”? Whose here’s Who-hash was it meant to be?
Guilty as charged.
Whoville; ain’t gonna be so mellow now, is it?
Part II:
20-ish years later, after a divorce and many other life issues, I return to NC because my father is dying of Parkinson’s. I’ve come back to help take care of him as he’s dying. Which unfortunately happened much more rapidly than any of us realized would happen. That’s life. Or that’s death. Probably both.
But after I’d been back here for a coupla months, I went out to run some errands one night while my mother babysat my father at home.
One of those errands was hitting the grocery store for some necessities. No big deal.
As I’m checking out and leaving the store, someone yells out my name.
I didn’t recognize her. Honestly.
She was now in her mid 30s and had filled out….very nicely, let’s say. But until she told me who she was, I had no clue.
We talked for a little while and agreed to have dinner and get caught up. But her mannerisms were unmistakable.
But in for a penny in for a pound…no pun intended.
Then the next day I freaked out a little bit and realized I’d counseled this woman, or had tried to, when she was 15.
Yet, as I was told by a coupla real life friends, including a certain one you all know and love, I shouldn’t worry as I’d done nothing wrong, etc.
Next…Part III
Part III: bow chicka wow wow
I’m guessing “bow chicka whoa no.”
There is a woman working at this restaurant defying the laws of gravity and physics. I don’t understand how she isn’t toppling over every time she walks past the kitchen.
Nice pictures
Tough but fair
Now you’re just being a dick.
Who? What? WTF?
If IWDB adopts a puppy, I blame you, Pikachu!
IWDB wants a puppy, obviously.
Why don’t you people pay attention to your ladies FFS?
No wonder it’s so easy to take them from you.
Good on ya Beastie.
Who is IWDB?
Moose makes a good point. We’re gonna need a scorecard to keep track of all the DFOers at some point.
Also, IWDB=I Will Dye Blonde=Mrs. Beastmode
Oh.
Get a mut from the shelter.
At least for the moment.