JV Exhibitions 23 December Thread (3:00 EST UPDATE – Bonus Varsity Early “Action”)

Air thine grievances here, y’all.

Birmingham Bowl – Texas Tech v. South Florida (Noon, ESPN)

IIRC, this used to have Papa John attached to it, surely a relief to him not, now that the city done sent all them daaaahhhhkies to vote for Sen-elect Doug Muthafuckin’ Jones!!  No, I’m not tired of saying I told you there were enough good Southern folk to prevent Senator Paedo, even in Bama.  As for the match, the line is Bulls -1.5, and I have no action as I have no feel.  I wanted to, but cannot.

Military Industrial Complex Bowl A – Army v. San Diego State (3:30, ESPN)

I think Army got invited to this mofo the instant they hit 6 wins.  Get used to all 4 of those irritating USAA commercials in heavy rotation.  I put a wee bit of money on the Black Knights moneyline (+205, line is +6.5) as this is their designed exhibition, after all.  And they are used to defending the run.

Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens (4:30, NFLN)

The Ratbirds have morphed into the NFL’s flat-track bullies, as evidenced by their 2nd half curb stomping of #ThePauls last weekend.  One could argue that the Humps have the advantage of extra time to prepare, but the flip side of that is having lost in the Gravy Boat on TNF to fucking Brock…Brock…dun dun dun dun dun Brock Lobster!!  Ha ha, that’s just sad.  Enough time has passed that we can make fun of Coach Cancer for just being shitty at his job.  Which he really fucking is.

When You Think K-Mart Is Fer Snobs Bowl – Appy State v. Toledo (7:00, ESPN)

Not exactly saving your best for last, JV NFL.  Anyway, having bet against the Happy Appies before and lost big, I also put a medium bet on their money line ($75 at +205 line is also +6.5).  I know nothing about the MAC, really.  This gives me reason to watch if/when the late NFL fixture is horse excrement.

Christmas Suggestions

Very few things make me feel Christmas-y, here is one.  Depressing indie-folk singer songwriter Sufjan Stevens, who is also a left-wing hippie-ish Christian (a quasi-Methodist like Hippo) and his nearly 5-hour collection of Christmas songs.  Some original, some traditional with his own tweaks.  Ukelele, of course.  If you must go to a gathering, suggest this instead of the usual musical fare.