JV Exhibitions 23 December Thread (3:00 EST UPDATE – Bonus Varsity Early “Action”)

Air thine grievances here, y’all.

Birmingham Bowl – Texas Tech v. South Florida (Noon, ESPN)

IIRC, this used to have Papa John attached to it, surely a relief to him not, now that the city done sent all them daaaahhhhkies to vote for Sen-elect Doug Muthafuckin’ Jones!!  No, I’m not tired of saying I told you there were enough good Southern folk to prevent Senator Paedo, even in Bama.  As for the match, the line is Bulls -1.5, and I have no action as I have no feel.  I wanted to, but cannot.

Military Industrial Complex Bowl A – Army v. San Diego State (3:30, ESPN)

I think Army got invited to this mofo the instant they hit 6 wins.  Get used to all 4 of those irritating USAA commercials in heavy rotation.  I put a wee bit of money on the Black Knights moneyline (+205, line is +6.5) as this is their designed exhibition, after all.  And they are used to defending the run.

Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens (4:30, NFLN)

The Ratbirds have morphed into the NFL’s flat-track bullies, as evidenced by their 2nd half curb stomping of #ThePauls last weekend.  One could argue that the Humps have the advantage of extra time to prepare, but the flip side of that is having lost in the Gravy Boat on TNF to fucking Brock…Brock…dun dun dun dun dun Brock Lobster!!  Ha ha, that’s just sad.  Enough time has passed that we can make fun of Coach Cancer for just being shitty at his job.  Which he really fucking is.

When You Think K-Mart Is Fer Snobs Bowl – Appy State v. Toledo (7:00, ESPN)

Not exactly saving your best for last, JV NFL.  Anyway, having bet against the Happy Appies before and lost big, I also put a medium bet on their money line ($75 at +205 line is also +6.5).  I know nothing about the MAC, really.  This gives me reason to watch if/when the late NFL fixture is horse excrement.

Christmas Suggestions

Very few things make me feel Christmas-y, here is one.  Depressing indie-folk singer songwriter Sufjan Stevens, who is also a left-wing hippie-ish Christian (a quasi-Methodist like Hippo) and his nearly 5-hour collection of Christmas songs.  Some original, some traditional with his own tweaks.  Ukelele, of course.  If you must go to a gathering, suggest this instead of the usual musical fare.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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ballsofsteelandfury

NEW THREAD!

scotchnaut

“WEEEEE!”

-Quilting Bee

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, does James Harrison sign with the Patriots and make a game winning INT or strip-sack against the Steelers in the AFC Championship?

scotchnaut

Not if he has any dignity.

herodotus450

Everytime I see App St. play I can’t help but think of that snl sketch, Appalachian Emergency Room.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if there isn’t some synergy involved that they’re playing in the Dollar General bowl.

herodotus450
Spur

off to find food.

Brick Meathook

comment image
comment image
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Redshirt

This is a perfect metaphor to describe America, Then and Now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Accepted racism vs. contested racism, got it.

scotchnaut

Dick Enberg-one of the very few people named ‘Dick’ that was not a dick.

/I didn’t research this comment at all
//don’t come at me

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hello Richard.

Mr. Ayo

Lesser Harbaugh is pretty pumped about beating a dead horse

scotchnaut

Jacoby and Myers told me this was a done deal. Apparently I can’t hang out near that playground for three more years. smgdh

blaxabbath

Yes Judge Moore.

Fronkenshteen

Humps ded

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tilda Swinton can get it*.

*It = a part in a movie that was originally written to be an old Asian man.

scotchnaut

You’re going to blame *her* for a casting decision? I thought I knew you.

#TildaSwintonForever

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought she was an old Asian man.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s strange, I just watched that movie for the first time this afternoon. It’s like if you’re thinkin’ about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate of shrimp, out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

scotchnaut

That comment is gayer than John Wayne.

Redshirt

Watching Doctor Who episode “The Name of the Doctor”. Had a thought.

The 45th President: What I did, I did without choice.
The 1st President: I know.
The 45th President: In the name of country and security.
The 1st President: But not in the name of the peace. And logic. And sanity. And hope. And love. And I KILL YOU! I KILL YOU!
(dragged away by other Presidents)
The 1st President: LET ME GO! HE HAS TO DIE! I’LL KILL HIM!

Gratliff

Ooo, that’s right. We get a regeneration this week.

Redshirt

I’ll miss Capaldi, but I’m curious how they will do a female Doctor. It should be interesting.

Spur
scotchnaut

I’m rooting for the best damn 74 year-old running back the NFL has to offer.

Spur

Wow. The Ravens are going to shit the bed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

#metoo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well that sucks.

Gratliff

loooooooooooool

clint greasewood

Bigger Kentucky based asshole “New” Colonel Sanders or Papa John?

litre_cola

Rick Pitino

Spur

Mitch Mcconnell

Viva La Tabula Raza

Boyd Crowder

Fronkenshteen

Indy FG + Balt TD = Balt cover

litre_cola

No. No. Indy +13.5. I cover. It is the season and I am now done caring about others! Day drunk is excellent

Spur
herodotus450

“An announcer by any other name would sound as sweet…”
But what if his name was Stinchcomb?

clint greasewood

Now that’s one gamy Brisket!

scotchnaut

“Deer Jacoby:

Love how tough you are!”

-Editor, Venison Monthly

Spur

Do i order in and go out to eat. I ain’t cooking tonight.

Fronkenshteen

CHINESE!!!

clint greasewood

Network probably asked Trent, “hey man, people seem to really like what Tony Romo brings to the table when he commentates. Do you think you can sprinkle in some pre snap calls. You know, let the people see what you see?” Trent, “uh, okay.”

Later in the game.. Trent Green, “here comes the blitz from the Ravens.” Ravens D- plays prevent after going up 17 points.

Brick Meathook

In the last few weeks I’ve heard other ex-player color commentators starting to copy Romo’s schtick.

litre_cola

Pretty day drunk and stoned at inlaws.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KutXyPEEbQs

Spur

i remember being scared of Bushwick Bill. i think I still am.

Spur
Mr. Ayo

Merry Moosemas!

Spur

join the Army, see the other Army.

Spur

Army scores

Mr. Ayo

Is over!

clint greasewood

The Pagano and Grigson “We need to do everything in our power to derail Andrew Lucks career” days will hopefully be completely over next week colts fans. It’s ok, just hold on

Mr. Ayo

He still needs a bicep surgery, right? RIP Hodor

Spur

in walks Jeff Fisher.

Mr. Ayo

Dos

Spur