Do the titles count towards the 200 words minimum? I feel that’s the longest title ever.
Which is fitting because tonight, despite what science says, is the longest night of the year as kids around the world eagerly await their presents. Some hardy ones will try to stay up to catch Santa, but sleeps takes over like the NFL Replay Czar on New York to ensure the Patriots win and Santa remains unseen.
This year, as is tradition, we have the Aloha Bowl to lull us to sleep.
HOWEVAH, we also have the now-traditional WCS live blog of the only Christmas movie screened at DFO HQ: Die Hard.
I’ve followed this on Twitter in prior years and this time he’s doing it for us here. Everyone say Thanks WCS!
Btw, the answer to the Eurotrip Easter Egg is that the names of the two large German guys at Club Vandersexxx are Hans and Gruber.
Yup, pretty kickass.
Ok, that’s pretty much it for me. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and I hope you get everything you wish for under the tree.
And by that, I mean anal. Lots and lots and lots of anal. Get thee to the commenting!
Merry Christmas, you degenerate fucks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnlVKWZKyAQ
Sorry kids, Santa just got gunned down by an AK-47 toting NRA member in Kentucky for breaking & entering. Christmas is cancelled this year.
Oh thank god. I won’t have to waste a 12 ga shell on his fat ass then.
Merry Christmas.
Rally squirrel!!
LOL
I think the biggest takeaway from the Jim and Andy thing on Netflix is that Jim Carrey’s neck had to hurt like a motherfucker when he was doing Tony Clifton.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hKSYgOGtos
Anyone want some viewing material? MLBN has Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals 2011 WS championship footage until 2am.
Alright, dickshits… once the kiddos are in bed, and Santa gets here, it’s time truly celebrate the season.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw9V3FO_5Pw
That’s a dumb place to keep bowls.
we shall have pineapple-flavoured onside kick
I was watching that dog show, and they had a commercial for dog food.
*MIND BLOWN*
also kinda crunk
Imma try to catch up.
Sobriety really sucks.
I feel like a spy being undercover loaded for 2 days now, but they are drunks and i dont want to show them up
go loudly have sex with your wife!! IT’S YOUR RIGHT
Does it have to be his wife?
/asking foar a friend
on such a fine GAMBLOR rush that I don’t want to go to strip club even
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eck3sGhpTZs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIHh6BUSzcc
One of the so-called “moderate” Republican senators graduated from the same law school as I did (and she gave the commencement speech). I’m not giving a penny to that school until they rescind her diploma because fuck her like she fucked over everyone else in this stupid country.
Anyway, I’m out of booze. Shit. I should crash the party next door? above me? somewhere?
go slay some puss bro!!!
No question go upstairs now!
Oh shit…it’s midnight.
I need to load the shotgun and go downstairs and wait by the fireplace for a certain lying fat bastard.
Merry Christmas, btw.
Ha. At the same time the house lights go on during Christmas Vacation. Perfect timing.
Now watching SnL xmas. Ardbeg reserve. Tastes like earth that wants to fight you.
Wait I missed the resolution.
What happened to the uncomfortable Canadia silence?
Well they are Danish so we had some akavit, my wife tild off her stoner brother and put decilitre to bed. I rolled a joint smoked it an fnow the whole gang drinks whisky and watches snl.
Worked out for you then. High five!!!
Oh sorry, Canadia exchange rate….High four!!!!
Just found a box of mike and ikes. Pretty happy but they dont pair with scotch
NAWT if you kick its ass first!
yeah, bitches!!!
NAWT a catch
Because Trump has a tweet for all occasions, I’m seeing people retweet times from years ago where he said “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.”
This, of course, means one thing: Donald Trump genuinely believed Obama made saying Merry Christmas illegal and that he has undone that.
You could fill a library with the crazy shit our commander-in-chief genuinely believes
If it had been him in my attic, I’d like to think I’d be eating him right now.
Being 90% fat means he’s well-marbled. However, his brain is so riddled with holes that there’s no way you could avoid getting Kuru/BSE from him.
Also there’s the syphilis.
I think that cooks out tho.
like a few years ago when I noticed the local Wal-Mart had “Happy Holidays” up and BIG EVIL LIBTARD Super Target had “Merry Christmas” at the front entrance.
.
I e-mailed that around last Shitsmas. Made me smire.
I’d send that to a certain Nazi Aussie if it wouldn’t open up a whole can of worms, again.
It turns out Pete Carroll was Santa all along.
Am I going fucking crazy or is the Hallmark channel just showing a dog in front of a fire place while Christmas music plays?
That’s a TV yule log!
This was always a thing in New York City since at least the 1960’s where one of the channels would just broadcast a nice fire on loop for all the apartment dwellers who didn’t have fireplaces. Some kids would even hang stockings on the TV.
Amazon Prime has a whole selection of those, with dogs or cats or whatever.
WPIX! They still do and then they play March of the Wooden Soldiers!
Fresno taking it up the pooper here
They’ll do anything for meth.
old school university rock!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfbwvWxowlQ
I will give Fresno credit, they shook off that 10-point swing like it weren’t nuthin
Are they playing New Mexico?
Fightin’ Davies ain’t make a bowl this year, YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSTON
Is he still there? They go through university presidents and football head coaches faster than I eat cheddar popcorn.
in my mind he is, at least
I miss Mike Locksley, mostly because he squeezed so much money out of those rubes.
UNM shouldn’t have a football team. Neither should NM State. GW got rid of their team fifty years ago. Willamette’s is D-III. I could’ve been a walk-on at 32 and kicked more ass than those kids. Necessary Roughness 2 (Also, Scott Bacula was supposed to be 33, and I know ranching is a hard life but that was a HARD 33).
I really dunno how the Mountain West absorbs those travel costs
It’s best not to think about it, but it involves soaking the rest of the student body in fees and the general fund that comes out of state subsidies and tuition. I was on the student fee review board for two years, and the Athletics department was always a bunch of entitled assholes.
at least FOOTBAW manages to make money at NC State, if nothing else productive
Like 90-95% of D-1 programs don’t. So that’s cool.
if you don’t make $$ with the TV revenue from the conta=racts the power conferences get, then it’s an accounting trick
Less this year tho.
Fuck off WPC and stop calling me.
In honor of those little assholes…
(Hippo better comment on the radio station’s ID btw or I will disown him)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS2IBMQIjDo
I see it is directed by a member of my favourite local band SEX POLICE so I will assume WKNC
WPTF actually.
I was surprised too.
2 squirrels btw.
I have no idea how they’re getting in now. I guess I should spend tomorrow figuring it out.
But I’m not gonna.
I do kinda wish wish it had been bigfoot tho. That would have been cool.
Batfoot!
How do they taste?
my Cherokee friend in college told me they was good eatin’
Lotsa my redneck friends tell me that too.
I’ve never tried it and don’t ever plan to.
They’re not dead.
Just traumatized.
And a little colder now.
Good going there, doctor.
We could’ve learned if squirrel organs could be transplanted into cats and small dogs.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t have kilt ’em if needed.
Don’t give me too much credit.
Also, putting “doctor” in quotes is kinda insulting.
JV doctor sound better?
If you’re not going to do unnecessary surgery for the amusement of Internet dickheads, then fuck you. 😛
Honestly, though. I didn’t mean to really be an asshole. I know you worked a Hell of a lot harder to become a doctor than I did to become a J.D.
I was only joking. No worries.
Trust me, that was another life for me.
I’m just a redneck these days.
And I’ve never worked any harder than I’ve had to.
Oh FFS dude, I was kidding.
You didn’t have to edit.
Sexy Friday lives on! Hooray!
PLOT TWIST!
There will be no game flexed to Sunday night next week.
WHAT!!!!!?????
The fuck is that shit, NFL??
My God, My God, why have you abandoned me??
they need to fix this so they can double-flex a 2nd game to NFLN in future years. This is TWO WEEKS IN A ROW we are getting boned FFS
God: “Because you beat off to lemon parties.”
It’s New Year’s Eve, so good call. I just wanna watch Seacrest fuck Dick Clark’s corpse.
And MORE afternoon games than morning games? MADNESS!
Morning of New Year’s Eve? Bah!
Told ya.
though I GUESS I can approve of being cautious re competitive considerations.
How about an honest statement about how this whole season is a wet bowl of doo doo and nothing deserves prime time?
Nick Foles
Oh jesus. On to gay alliances in high schools in Alberta. This is not the province they live in and they are wrong to begin with. Moar whisky pleez
The gays just want to make sure there are fewer christians by reducing overall procreation smdh
I support that specific agenda.
tell ’em they are only trying to fill their recruiting quota, as Satan commands
Lady BFC and I just got back from a lovely night out in Palm Springs, but we feel old and tired. Part of me wants to ditch her after she goes to sleep and hit up the random biker bar our waiter told us about. But most of me will succumb to cuddling and a full night’s sleep so we can get up early and go to Joshua Tree in the AM.
“Random biker bar in Palm Springs” – yeah, you should go.
Go to biker bar. You only live once
dem shoulders
To me the sexiest thing is her shear look of annoyance in the first one….. maybe I have been conditioned.
a hot, smart woman’s intense disapproval really is a wondrous thing
In case you didn’t see it before, ‘Lady Bird’ is really, really good.
Evening, degenerates. Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate, and to the rest of you: where’s the bourbon?
I celebrate the Hanukkah/Ramadan combo: Ramakkah. I don’t eat pork and I hate myself.
Went to a vietnamese place and had pork and shrimp in the same dish. I hate myself for other reasons.
It’s kosher because they cancel out. But I would assume by now the salmonella has kicked in and you’re dying. Can I have your XBox?
It was probably cat and snail.
No worries.
PLOT TWIST AT THE HAWAII BOWL
glad I only bet $40 on this fucker
I still like Fresno, but that was a gut punch.
Someone tuned in?
They tricked Fresno with the turnover. Give them a short field to make a mistake faster.
apparently, Kelvin Benjamin is talking out loud re how the whole BUF sideline was like “only the P*ts”
Expect the Bills to be shot at dawn
Oh well, I should go sleepies, it’s midnight here in the Atlantic time zone. And to all a good night! Even whatever creature is stirring in twbs’s attic!
Flying Bigfoot!
That was Brownish
JV Yooooooooouston is kinda shitty, would seem
“Special” teams!
9/10 would bang
Asking for it.
This is just proof FEMALES are all liars and feminism is meant to DESTROY ALL GOOD MEN!
Boooo, 30 for 30 marathon apparently over, I don’t need to watch sportscenter ever and I don’t need to watch them go over all the fucked calls in favor of the Pats
If you’re up for paying, all four seasons are on Amazon Prime. Both parts of ‘The U’ are great.
If you’re feeling cheap, I may or may not have a link to a streaming site.
The Todd Marinovich one is also excellent and my favorite of the bunch. His story is really interesting and he’s frank about his failings.
That’s why I always had trouble binging 30For30. There are so many that are total downers. They’re good, but dude …
This game is weird; normally when I say “Go Fresno” I mean go to another state because you’re a horrible city with no redeeming values.
I think there are more people in this thread watching the than are attending the game.
most of the people there just seem to be seeking shelter. The one “fan shot” I could make out was a dude in a Liberty shirt
We are on to abortion talk people! I asked dad in law for some whisky. Balvenie 15 Caribbean Cask!
tell ’em we need to be giving God more FRESH SOULS back
Abortions for all!
Abortions for some, miniature American gulags for others?
That is both the worst and best autocorrect ever.
It seems perfectly fitting that American gulags are personalized and overly inefficient and grossly consume a ton of resources.
Tell ’em you just wanna coat-hanger the gingers.
Mary was raped by the holy ghost and should have aborted. Ppl forget that.
Spiritus santcin-yo-vag amirite?
Cartwheels in the rain…
Ooh, you should mention that cheap and available birth control is the best way to reduce abortions!
“I thought it was banging girls who don’t ovulate yet”
-Roy Moore
It can be both.
Aw hell yeah.
Merry Christmas you fellow horrible wonderful people. (Note: I am only horrible)
My present to you all is not recounting my FFL CHAMPIONSHIP in excruciating detail.
c’mon it’s just Fresno/HOU and we are SUPER BORED
Well, in that case, I LOVE TODD FUCKING GURLEY.
And Larry Fitzgerald.
And KHunt.
But mostly TODD FUCKING GURLEY.
50+ 2 weeks in a row!! Hard to fuck that up.
You had Gurley Man and KHunt in the semis? That’s just mean.
Yeah, six TDs between them was nice. Only 3 today smh.
my final was the Gurley team (me) beating the KHunt squad
Merry Christmas, everyone.
https://twitter.com/ProducerEric/status/945095693676482560
If you’ve ever wonder if those grating, obnoxious, guffawing morning show people have an off switch, here’s your answer.
I always wondered why the radio thinks I want to be subjected to that shit in the mornings
Back when I stuck driving to work, I often ended up putting on The Mix which has (supposedly) the most popular morning show in Chicago and main guy Eric is absolutely the epitome of the middle-aged white dad who thinks everything he says is clever, funny, and insightful when he’s dull as fuck.
Dude makes $1 million per year for that shit and based on the stories of people who encounter him has no grasp of how lucky he is.
All media personalities are terrible.
Radio people tend to be a particularly awful breed although during my time in the industry I did meet a few who were okay.
I love the first reply.
“We’re gonna put you in a home.”
“I’m already in a home.”
“Then we’ll put you in one of those crooked homes on 60 Minutes.”
“I’ll be good.”
But this one is the best:
As a fellow mandatory reporter, this woman can eat shit.
I’ll bet all the parents who pull shit like this thinking it’s creative and funny can’t grasp their children trying sort through the trauma of it warping their life 40 years later.
Indeed. They think they’re so fucking clever when they’re just assholes.
If I ever won a championship, I would drink the champagne instead of spraying it everywhere
Drink the Veuve Clicquot, spray the Korbel.
(Just kidding, it’s all Andre.)
fucking Fresno fucker
I feel better about betting against HOU b/c their QB is named D’Eriq
Is it Dee-Erick or Dee-eReek?
more like #1
Dad thought of the name while dolphin-flogging to a Baywatch babe.
Early Dennis Rodman!
YAY FOOTBAW STARTING AGAIN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfySK7CLEEg
lol
Twitter: Where people eager to be assholes will say bad things about adorable dogs.
Welp, the rest of my night seems to be taking shape after all.
There’s something in the goddamned attic. AGAIN!!!!
I hate living in the sticks.
I’m going in….apparently. If you never hear from me again, it’s either because it’s bigger and hungrier than it sounds…or in fighting it I fell to my death and/or burned the house down.
Hold my beer.
smgdh
RIP seamus. We’ll probably remember you next year.
I got the flip so that’s a good sign.
I’m really pissed I had to put on pants and shoes at this late hour.
I’ll let ya know how it turns out if I win.
Our ad memoriam video is going to be shakier than Michael J Fox’s home movies
I hope it’s a bat! Or bigfoot!
Flying bigfoot.