I guess the only advantage of not having a Thursday, Sunday Nighter and Monday game is that we get a corn of copia of nine, count ’em, nine games! So what if some aren’t relevant? This presupposes that some week 5 clash involving the Giants or Browns was relevant and we all of us know that isn’t the case, right? TO THE GAMES!
Carolina/Atlanta:
The Falcons are facing the old “Win and You’re in Like Flynn or Gunga Din” scenario. They’ll be side-eyeing the Seattle tilt.
Kansas City/Denver:
Denver hc Joseph spun the “Wheel of QB Futility” and it came up Paxton Lynch. On the other side, coach Reid, locked into the 4 spot seeding-wise, has decided to have a wee looky-loo at Patty Mahomes II: Undermining The Starter Boogaloo. When starter Smith first heard the news he threw a tantrum that traveled all of six yards through the air.
Jacksonville/Tennessee:
Win or lose the Jags are hosting a wildcard game next week. The most likely situation is that this tilt is the first of a home-and-home between these two.
San Fran/LA Rams:
I’m going out on a limb-the 9’ers are the best 5 win team in the league right now. The Rams plan is to sit anyone that matters because they got themselves the division title. Jeff Fisher must be so proud.
Buffalo/Miami:
The Bills need to win and 3/4’s of the AFC to lose so that they can taste the playoffs. It was a valiant try.
Oakland/LA Chargers:
The LawnClippers need to win and the Eiffel Tower has to contract herpes in order for the former to do the playoff jig.
Arizona/Seattle:
Here we go again. The Seahawks must win. Difficulty: the Cards have won the last two in Seattle.
New Orleans/Tampa Bay:
11-4 meets 4-11. How’s that for a hot take?
Cincinnati/Baltimore:
The Ravens need the win just like everyone else. They’ll find the Bengals very accommodating.
Push those letters!
NO!!!!! That phallocracy pickerception took my HRTF championship odds down to 83% ,, smgdh
Thoughts and prayers
Hip is still #blessed.
In the next three years, I fully expect an NFL team’s Week 17 roster to be worse than their Preseason Week 3 roster.
In response, the NFL will suggest we eliminate preseason weeks 3 & 4 and add four more games to the regular season. And cut the salary cap.
I’m getting ready for the XFL 2.0
Will there be a XDFO?
WHERE WE REALLY IGNORE CENSORSHIP AND REALLY START WRITING ABOUT WHY BLACKS AND JEWS HAVE RUINED THE SPORT AND WHY THE HELL CANT WE GROPE THE CHEERLEADERS IF WE PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THESE TICKETS?!
Rule #1 of XDFO: No pics of women more ethnic than Sarah Palin
/R. Goodell tucks his tumescent boner into his waistband upon reading this
I was listening to Alan Thicke’s pregnant fathers survival guide on the drive to Tucson yesterday and he mentions Lemon Jello is his writing.
I didn’t even know lemon was an actual Jello flavor.
Every time the Raiders pin someone back on the 1 yard line I get sick to my stomach because I know a touchdown drive is coming up. It might be one play, it might be fourteen plays, but they always seem to fold.
How do you feel about John Gruden, minority owner, coming?
Eh, sure, why not?
Wow — JDR had a short leash with that organization.
You made the other owners gasp for a moment at the “minority owner” phrase
Tire Rod Taylor confuses the hell out of me.
Is he going to throw? Is he going to run? Is he going to get sacked for -20 yards? Always a mystery!
He’s Schrodinger’s QB. The new Flacco.
He was Flacco’s backup… HOLY SHIT! Everything makes sense now.
I thought Bortles was gonna take that crown. Maybe Watson in time?
there are few things MOAR fun to recite to oneself than:
Bunches of Funchesses
Go ahead, try it at home.
I need to stop betting.
I’ll still have $300-ish of house money when the Donks and the Panteras screw me today tho.
Might have to follow Hippo on the Sooner Schooner for the ironic factor tomorrow I guess.
I have a Son of Clem feeling too, though I bet only a buck twenty-five on that (ML +130)
I can see Satan’s boys gang raping teh Jesus on that one.
You would have won if you had accepted my bet…
If you call that winning?
Like I need a nekkid balls running around doing my chores.
DUI
I’d D her IUD
I’m gonna go get a little high at the next commercial. And, if NFL broadcasts are the same as always, that commercial will be in about 45 seconds.
Donks avoid the shutout!!
“It’s the small victories that count.”
-Eddie Gaedel
clam chowder is great on a cold day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eD0XcqhUXM
Can we give Jeanine Garrafalo the 2018 MVP award now?
It’s only right
I’m waiting for Jed York to cut him.
Screw it. I’ve ben productive this morning and today may very well be the last Cardinals game I ever bother to watch. So let’s RIVE BROG!
Don’t say such heresy. FOOTBAW FOREVER!!!
/unless you’re planning to go on a 5-state killing spree and eat a bullet at the end
Bun in the oven.
And you want that fetus with the right to bear arms to think his father is a libtard pussy who hates the NFL and America?
Still want that bullet?
oh you will still watch, you just won’t hear much FOAR the screaming
Here comes Flacco to save the day.
Oh yeah, right. I forgot.
Is he lobbing Miracle Whip grenades at the secondary?
/”INCOMING!”
Not yet, but give him time.
I can’t believe David Fales is playing in an NFL game right now. Jamarcus Russell’s shame should be deeper than the biggest empty bottle of purple drank.
Raiders fans all over that minor league Lesser Footy ground.
HEY! They’re a PROFESSIONAL GROUNDS KEEPING CREW!
Long time boys! How the hell are ya doin’?
We doing okay. Whar you been?
Got a pork tenderloin in the slow cooker and I’m about to watch my team miss the playoffs again! So not too shabby!
Are ya drunk at least?
Probably will be later. No booze in the house currently.
Are you sure you’re in the right place?
Something something Trent Green something something.
I’ll probably run to the store at the half.
We have opposite problems. I have plenty, but gotta drive.
I’ll get you hammered if you drive me around later?
No, wait…..
I got your tenderloin right here!
::grabs crotch::
:::is exposed on CNN as a victim of #metoo:::
::::apologizes and provides a recipe for crock pot pork tenderloin::::
That’s a lot of colon exposure in that comment.
so you’re not a Pats, Steelers and Eagles fan, good.
The Buffalo Bills are my cure for hope and joy.
I’m sorry.
Eh, it’s not so bad, I was predicting 3 wins max at the start of the season.
WELCOME BACK!!!
Eh, you know, still burns when I pee…HOLY SHIT you’re a blast from the past! Welcome back to the #circlejerk
Hi!
Our’s is not to wonder how we are doin’
Our’s is to comment and drink and get goin’
LOVE the Drake!!
….the Drake of Morristown?
Checking in on HRTF Champeenship one last time…
Holy fucking shit. I seriously cannot believe I lost to you assholes and finished 5th.
smgdh
Perhaps them Panthers shouldn’t get cute on a team that went to the SB last year. Just sayin’….
It’s shocking how fast Kamara moves for how slow his motion looks
This is a very shrewd footballing observation. Are you sure you’re an Iggles fan??
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
that’s fucking GREAT
I was thinking the same thing. He looks like Don Beebe should have caught him twice over.
It’s shocking how Tennessee didn’t let this kid have more touches.
Oh, blax, I hope you’re not hopefully watching the Buzzsaw
Bitchin Kamara! Bitchin Kamara!
/he ran over his neighbours
the tank is TOTES ON in Denver
I HAVEN’T SEEN AN O’LEARY THAT WIDE OPEN SINCE 1871
That’s a smrt joke.
I want every team that needs to win to lose. Drew Stanton, AJ McCarron (or whomever), they all need Ws.
Holy merde, BUF coming good so far.
LIAM NEESON IS ON A PLANE!!!!
His wife is being held hostage in teh cargo hold I presume?
His daughter is in the cockpit!
Yeah she is!!!!!!
Let Mahomes throw it.
No where is that option on the giant, laminated menu in Andy Reid’s hands.
LMFAO Baltimore defense.
smgdh
If MRSA Men win, that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! v. Saints Wild Card match will be war.
I’m all in on Buffalo even though they aren’t.
Donks losing would get me to $2,500 fo sho. And put us in position to get a Chubb on, come draft time. WIN WIN!!
I’ll only be out $100.
I can live with this.
Broncos can’t catch a slippery Khunt
You don’t catch it, son, you eat it.
The “crowd” for the Rams makes my cold black heart happy.
everyone saving up FOAR Wild Card tix!!
Janine Garafalo, getting it done. Ain’t a man’s world any MOAR, ppl!!
I knew you’d ride Janine (Janeane?) to victory eventually.
I just missed the “exact details” a bit.
What happens if Mahomes is amazeballs today? Riots and mutiny in KC? Beyond the usual scene at Coach Reid’s favorite buffet.
We get Rob Johnson 2.0 and Buffalo’s curse goes to KC
Fightin’ Tomsulas are 6 point favourites and climbing, for RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! is TOTES tanking in order to face the Iggles.
This Raiders home game looks good.
Said no visiting fan in EVAR!!!!!!
I’ve actually been to Oakland for a Steelers game. TWICE. And I had a blast.
Way to step on my joke Mr. Fancypants.
So, Lolphins are going to win today because a loss would only help them.
Are the Bills still alive?
by the thinnest of threads, they need OAK to win, as well as JAX (with no incentive to try)
STAKE update: I am at $2,200, thanks to #ThePauls. I would be at $2,400 if Chi**** had any competence whatsoever. 1/2 point short, my honky ass.
Still have 5 other bets out that can cash outside of the motherlode on Boomer Sooner, so hitting the goal of Even Stevens ($2,500) outside of the BIG GAMBLOR EVENT is on schedule.
Still deciding how aggressive to be with Jaguras and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! come playoff time. Ah believe, tho. At least through Divisional Round.
Oooh, can they do a VW 0% REALLY commercial about the Browns?
“Haven’t we atoned enough for our role in WWII?”
-VW Board of Directors
SKOL! If Philly plays like they did today the Vikings might just keep playing at home into February.
Fuck yes let’s drink!
you shall be getting RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Browns…
I really want to drank.
I hate driving sometimes.
THIS GUY THEEWEEBABYSEAMUS I CALL HIM THE CLEVELAND BROWNS OFFENSE CAUSE SUSTAINED DRIVES ARE NOT HIS THING.
Hey, the difference is I’m stayin’ sober foar mine.
Love you Cleveland…stay drunk.
I know we may joke, but Marvin Lewis did good at Cincinnati. He changed the culture and left the franchise light-years better than he found it. The fact that he didn’t have any playoff success and will be known as a failure is tragic.
BTW, any updates on the rumors that Elway is ready to say neigh to a second season for Vance?
tea, I mean APPLE leaves say he might be leaning towards the noose. I mean, new coach, new QB makes some sense
RAAMMMMMIIIITTTTTTTTTT
We need a boots on the ground for the factory parade
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I have Mike Polk Jr.’s email; maybe I’ll beg him to do one for us.
Bernard Fucking Pollard in training