Your “How Much Is Positive Karma Worth? /Asking For A City” AFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

Much has been made of the chicken wing donation and the $300,000+ that has been donated to Andy Dalton’s “Spare The Red Child Foundation” and rightfully so. It’s makes all the rubes out there feel good in all their feeling places and might just do some concrete good in the world. Does this translate to a win on an actual football field for the Bills? To answer that we must go…TO THE GAME!

Buffalo/Jacksonville:

Here’s the thang-it looks like a bad matchup for the squadoo from upper New York State. The Jags lead the league in rushing offense and the Bills are ranked 30th in stopping that there run. That’s a double “Oof!” as I read it. Weaknesses and strengths tend to magnify themselves in the playoffs and I can’t see the Jags regressing that much.

Injury:

There’s a report out there that Shady McCoy, following a strict regimen of spa treatments and the ingestion of a stewy concoction of various flightless bird juices, (“try the emu, it’s got a nutty aftertaste!”) is ready and raring to go. Otherwise, it’s a long way down to Mike “He’s in the league still?” Tolbert and some Murphy kid and all of his 8 career carries.

Positive Bortles(?):

The fella has some good numbers at home including a 64% completion rate and a nifty 15/5 TD to intercept stat.

My Hot Takeaway:

The Bills will have to force turnovers early in order to offset the steady, belly-filling diet of Fournette that will be stuffed down their gullet. If the Jags get up by two scores early, no amount of broken tables can bring the Bills back.

Pound that keyboard like the champ that you are!

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blaxabbath

Some weeks, quotables just writes itself.

Dunstan

Standard

fleshwound_NPG

welp

Redshirt

There it is.

Gratliff

lol

Petronel

Welp

blaxabbath

Who is this color guy? He just said clock starts on snap, then the whistle.

bk109

Isn’t that Robo Tony Romo?

blaxabbath

Well he doesn’t understand playoff clock activity!

bk109

And the league doesn’t know what the fuck is a catch anymore,so… match made in heaven?

Petronel

comment image

bk109

Evenin’ pervs.. so aside from Tyrod being ded, what’s up?

Dick E. Phuck

It’s entirely possible. Remember when Billy Volek won a playoff game?
Edit: Nevermind

blaxabbath

Tim Tebow?

King Hippo

Dick LeBeau won that one, frankly

Mr. Ayo

I’d rather not, thanks.

rockingdog

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Mr. Ayo

PETERMAN COMEBACK!

tomsellecksmoustache

Hes gonna do the whole shit.

ThePirateSloth

Jeebus he’s fucking slow

Spur

what i miss? Tyrod got hurt bad?

blaxabbath

Is BUF short an o lineman?

Redshirt

Peterman prolonged this off!

LemonJello

Trainer: “What’s your name?”
Tyrod: “Trent Green.”
Trainer: “Can we call in a medevac?”

Smithchez

HE GOT THE FIRST DOWN!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

I mean, that’s gotta be at least a fine, right? Or is there gonna be some twaddle released by the league tomorrow about how all that was totally legal and legit?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

From Jeff Tripplette

fleshwound_NPG

“Put him back in, he fucking got up.”

-John Tortorella

blaxabbath

They cut him in two and just stuff him on those bags?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“A true leader would have picked up the first getting concussed”

-Sean McDermott

tomsellecksmoustache

Nawt a true Bill. Thats nothing compared to a burning table.

King Hippo

Here comes #6 for J Peterman…

Maybe JAX will have the humility to take a knee at least. I mean, they just killed a guy, by gameplan.

tomsellecksmoustache

Oracle.

Doktor Zymm

You would think they would have stopped their ‘murder Tyrod’ plan since they’re so close to winning the game…

blaxabbath

Didn’t that dude throw like 10 picks one week?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Prorated, yes

Gratliff

So how did Taylor get a diving axe handle at the end of that with no flag?

King Hippo

SERIOUSLY. The NFL looks after it’s QBs, as long as they’re white, I guess.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No 7hit

blaxabbath

NFL refs never want to be accused of letting a flag determine a game.

WCS

Now, the Bills’ chances lie in the incapable hands of Nathan Peterman.

Redshirt

Bills fans don’t deserve this. In more ways than one.

Smithchez

I really, really hope Taylor is alright. That being said, if Nathan Peterman leads a comeback TD drive and then wins it, that would turn this from a boring wildcard game into one of the best playoff games in history.

fleshwound_NPG

Petermanception in 5…4…3…2…1…

King Hippo

2 guys in single coverage, you HAVE TO THROW YOUR GUY OPEN THERE

JAX took another cheap shot, too

Brick Meathook

No shit Taylor’s down they’ve been trying to take his head off

tomsellecksmoustache

Peterman has this in the bag.

King Hippo

(colostomy)

blaxabbath

That dude came in late and landed on his head. No shit he dead.

Mr. Ayo

Tyrod is ded

Redshirt

Its games like this where I’m glad NFL games don’t have five periods.

LemonJello

So…pickerception, anyone?

King Hippo

nah, Tyrod won;t take chances like that

LemonJello

he ded, now.

Dunstan

Aaand right on cue, here’s Peterman!

fleshwound_NPG

the team with colin kaepernick at starting qb wins this game 27-10, and that 27 is a minimum

Brick Meathook

Tebow would score all 75 winning points

WCS

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King Hippo

I predict 4 and out, net 2 yards.

blaxabbath

Why the hell would I buy 5 sandwiches?

...

Wild Card Game? More like MILD Card Game!

Again, don’t forget the Patreon people!

fleshwound_NPG

Buffalo 2-minute drive coming up, can YOU feel the excitement?!

WCS

As exciting as the next new episode of Big Bang Theory!

ThePirateSloth

Seriously JAX? Tag Team back again? That’s the song you want to get everyone pumped up with?

LemonJello

They save Molly Hatchet’s “Gator Country” for the post game party.

Smithchez

16 punts?!?!?!?!?!

WCS

But, remember, it’s Kaep’s fault ratings are down.

blaxabbath

“Kaep? More ungrateful nig—“

-Jerry Richardson

fleshwound_NPG

“Kaep? More ungrateful nig—“

-any New England fan

blaxabbath

The best teams are in the playoffs.

Mr. Ayo

*closes notebook*

King Hippo

That is TOTES the right call for those of us betting ATS.\

/sadly, just $55

fleshwound_NPG

I know the Bills are shitty as fuck, but this defense can stop New England, and beat New England if Bort never throws a forward pass ever again.

King Hippo

very much so. I’ll bet the moneyline next week.

blaxabbath

I see no reason not to.

...

In a good and just world, we’d get a Bills upset over the Patriots but we’re in HellWorld now where only the Patriots may win.

...

Tyrod and Bortles performances are so bad today that they are hereby demoted to Eighthbacks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Walked in to a Pho place with a piece of art that says “Football” hanging on the wall. Three TVs in here. All are showing figure skating.

ThePirateSloth

What the pho!

Dunstan

By law, all pho restaurants must have a pun in their name

Mr. Ayo

Pho sure!

Wakezilla

How else would I know that they serve phonomenal food?

blaxabbath

Photo!

Wakezilla

Bait and switch is common in Asian marketing