Your “One More Monday Night Game? But It’s JV NFL? Whatever…I’LL TAKE IT!” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Your new Bears head coach is Matt Nagy.
    • He is/was the Chiefs OC in 2016. Prior to the Chiefs, he was with the Eagles from 2009-13.
      • He played QB at Delaware, and spent 5 years in the Arena League.
  • SHOCKING: Richie Incognito is being accused of dropping some slurs in the Bills loss versus the Jags.
    • Specifically, Jags DE Yannick Ngakoue accused Incognito of making “some weak racist slurs” during the game.
  • SHOCKING #2: Cam’s concussion protocol treatment during the loss to the Saints will be getting the once-over by the NFL.
    • It will get the same scrutiny that Russell Wilson’s protocol did when he spent the three minutes in the tent back in November, a move which cost the Seahawks $100,000.
  • SHOCKING #3: Jeff Triplette was reportedly so bad on Saturday he decided to retire.
    • Now, this morning, the controversy is that the NFL knew he was retiring, and gave him a playoff game upon which to ride off into the sunset.

Finally, this is pretty savage.


Game preview: JV Falcons versus JV Patriots

I don’t care what the spread is, this game is Bama’s to lose. They could theoretically win their 5th National Championship in nine years, so as much as we like to rip on Nick Satan Saban, you have to allow that Alabama has shown a remarkable pattern of success since his hiring.

From everything I read, it sounds like this game comes down to whether Georgia’s two-headed running monster can overcome Alabama’s stifling #1-ranked run defence. Seniors Nick Chubb and Sony Michel both have surpassed the 1,000-yard mark this fall, boosting their career totals to a combined 8,259 yards, moving them past Eric Dickerson and Craig James – of Southern Methodist fame in the early 1980s – on the all-time list for tandem running backs.

Because, from having watched the two semi-final games, Georgia doesn’t have much of a defence, and Alabama can put up points fairly quickly. A freshman QB, no matter how poised, doesn’t have much to draw upon if he gets flustered. If the game turns to Bama quickly, I think we all have to reflect on how supremely talented DeShaun Watson is, and how what he did for Clemson last year might be considered a miracle. I’m keeping RAW on redial if this game becomes a blowout by halftime.

SI.com has a story on the game’s punters, which isn’t half-bad. Read all the way to the bottom, however, for the latest in America’s culinary demise, Batter – the edible cookie dough gelaterie.

  

Commercial airtime is averaging $1.2 million per 30-second spot. Kendrick Lamar is performing at halftime.

For you lovable gambling degenerates, Alabama is currently favoured by 4.5, and the over/under is 47.

Oh, and the President will be there, so I hope people enjoy the extra extra-security the game already has. In Canada, they’ve mostly stopped showing politicians on the big screen, because they always get booed. I wonder if they’ll show the Orange Face of Incompetence on the YUGGGGGE board, and if so what will the reaction be.

Update: Well, the protests are planned.

No surprise, since the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reminds its readers that Trump tweeted that Atlanta is “horrible” and “crime infested”.

Seriously – he needed this at the Army-Navy game?

Prediction:

What I want: Georgia 24-17

What I expect: Alabama 35-10


Tonight’s sports:

  • College Football Playoff National Championship: Alabama vs. Georgia
    • 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Pacers – 7:00PM | NBATV
    • Raptors at Nets – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Nuggets at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  •  WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Unless you have a regional broadcast that interests you, it’s a pretty thin sports schedule tonight.

AGREED!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sooooo…

If I go to Athens and wait for Mel Tucker and kill him, that’s more premeditated than if I just drive to Atlanta tonight and drown him in a hotel bathtub right?

#deathpenaltyfoartwbs

/asking foar a friend

Horatio Cornblower

As your attorney I highly recommend that you either do not do this, or do it but delete this post first.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Cool.

Retainer and tix to Hartsfield-Jackson are in the mail.
See you soon. Kisses.

Mr. Ayo

Correct. /ISawNothing

Col. Duke LaCross

Still not sure how he made it out of Chicago alive.

Senor Weaselo

Yup, there we go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Found one that shows the approach.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m in love.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here we go.
Officials kept ’em just close enough.

smgdh

Mr. Ayo

UGa is going to win. Try to enjoy this.

Mr. Ayo

Ok, not that part. But the rest of it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope you’re right.
I don’t think you are tho.

rockingdog

So this is a thing….Ibuprofen alters human testicular physiology

http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2018/01/03/1715035115.full

Mr. Ayo

Hehe, PNAS

Horatio Cornblower

“How do you beat Alabama?”

The 14th Amendment?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d prefer #2 at the moment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way ‘Bama’s getting outgunned. Out-thought, sure. Out-not-having-rickets, possibly, unless Mississippi and/or Arkansas is involved. Out-literacied? Certainly.

But you ain’t out-gunning them.

Horatio Cornblower

How is that guy still in the fucking game!?

Senor Weaselo

Because he can clothesline the guys in red instead!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gatoraids

Saban still angry he didnt get a golden globe for this

Gatoraids

Bleh fucked up the tag dont bother

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Nick Saban could usurp the title of Emperorer from both Palpatine and Augustus, and still he’d still complain how it effected recruiting.

Gatoraids

Can you just hit I and close /iafter url, use or what to do an inline image. I am post dumb

Mr. Ayo

No mark up needed. Just post the URL:
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Gatoraids

Thanks
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theeWeeBabySeamus

BULLFUCKINGSHIT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nacho?

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rockingdog

chip guy is my hero!

Mr. Ayo

Nurse, more freezer vodka, STAT!

rockingdog

Coaches challenge!

Mr. Ayo

CNN is calling this one for UGa

theeWeeBabySeamus

THAT BETTER GODDAMNED BE OVERRULED ON VIDEO AND AN INTERCEPTION FUCK YOU IF IT ISN’T.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

“Because son, as I’ve told you so many times about so many things we can’t have, it’s because we live in Alabama.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, that’s not an INT though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes it was.
Control. He had control.

Horatio Cornblower

He had control, he had the ball, but he didn’t have control and the ball.

If you think about it, it’s pretty much like my Junior Prom.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, he did.
If he didn’t have control of the ball, he’d have dropped it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But like I said….

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, that’s what my date told all her friends the next day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I understand the whole ruling on the field, etc.
Dude had control.
Switching hands to keep control.

This whole what is a catch what is not and let’s see if it the ball is moving even slightly on video bullshit is exactly that.

Video has ruined the game of football.

Granted, it was ruled not an interception on the field so I’ll shut my mouth now.

But he caught that it damn well was an interception.

Senor Weaselo

Is It a Catch, JV edition!
/I’m gonna say not a catch.

Mr. Ayo

There is No catch

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The “A” is for effort!

rockingdog

Feisty with the boots

Horatio Cornblower

Teams from Georgia and Alabama with a lot of speed? No shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The grad students call it amphetamines.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I knew Mel Tucker would go pussy and fuck this up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Here it comes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Now that was a hit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Okay, that was a good joke from Tebow in that commercial.

(smart car stops to Alabama mascot)
Tebow: “The car stopped for me?”

rockingdog

I forgot about this…. if you want a distraction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc78HYRav1o

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fromm had the slant wide assed open.
Fuck freshmen.

rockingdog

truth.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, he’d have thrown it at his feet even if he’s seen the progression in time.
Shoulda been first check down for a frosh tho.

Jeebus.

Senor Weaselo

“Gladly! …You mean high school, right?” -Roy Moore

Horatio Cornblower

“One time I had a slant wide-assed open too. Was in some back alley in Bangkok with a hairy motherfucker named Ron, or Rod or maybe Rob. My memory of that night is kinda hazy. Anyway, there’s this little number givin’ me the eye; I think she was a Ja…”

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/Bill Parcells, just before leaving TV to “spend more time with my family”

Horatio Cornblower

Oh #48 most certainly did go after a coach. Holy shit.

https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/950578313302601728

Gratliff

JuCo ball for him next season

Mr. Ayo

I think he’ll be transferring real soon.

Redshirt

I’d be shocked if he’s still on that sideline. If I’m a captain, I’m ripping of his jersey myself.

Mr. Ayo

If Saban doesn’t ritually sacrifice him first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Now players are collapsing on the ‘Bama sideline. Hopefully nothing too serious but if I had to guess I think we’re seeing exactly how long Saban’s deal with Lucifer ran for.

Redshirt

What the… What did #48 do to #28?!

Horatio Cornblower

That’s some quality tackling right there.

Can’t wait to never see him play for the Cowboys

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck this. Might as well be resigned to it.
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Senor Weaselo

That was less than brilliant.

Redshirt

Whose ‘Bama’s 3rd String QB?

Mr. Ayo

Me.
-Trent Green

rockingdog

Georgia got some sick WRs

Redshirt

Alabama #48 right now
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Horatio Cornblower

That needs to be the next Mayhem commercial.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The best timeline is happening.

Horatio Cornblower

Did 48 just go after a coach? Fuck the game, put the cameras on the sidelines.

King Hippo

I would say they’s fallen apart

theeWeeBabySeamus

HOW DO YOU NOT GET TOSSED FOR THROWING A FUCKING A PUNCH HOLY SHIT PPL!!!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

The Illuminati backs Bama. And taco bell.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s be the only time “backed up” and “Taco Bell” were uttered in the same sentence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No sir; ‘toilet’ is added.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

You already know the answer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sadly, yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Gratliff

In honor of the inevitable Alabama win:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy_4JmGCt-Q

Redshirt

Since when did the Right Guard become an Eligible Receiver?

Mr. Ayo

The Bama bribe check cleared at halftime.

Brocky

And I’ll always have a soft spot for alabama for this:

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Horatio Cornblower

I think the spread on that was ‘Bama by 10.5 and one of my great regrets in life was not putting my 401K on Alabama, because there was no way that game wasn’t going to turn out exactly the way it did. ND was so overrated that* year

*every

King Hippo

I remember the pre-game show being all about how ND was being “disrespected” LMAO

Brocky

My favirite joke was the irony of notre dame going undefeated with their easy schedule made a better argument for a college playoff than any one loss team ever did

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GUY FROMM I CALL HIM ETHAN BECAUSE HE JUST FUCKED UP LIKE A GUY DRIVING A SLED INTO A TREE!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

How many virgins does Nick Saban have on that sideline?!

JerBear50

Uh oh, has anyone checked on Weaselo?

Senor Weaselo

Why do you think I’ve never been to Alabama?

JerBear50

There’s a whole multitude of reasons I can think of.

Mr. Ayo

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Brocky

Not gonna lie, as enticing as watching alabama lose is, i dislike anything that makes mel Tucker look good

Col. Duke LaCross

I have a bad feeling that I know how this game is going to end.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit Fromm.

rockingdog

bouce bounce

Mr. Ayo

The turnover came Fromm nowhere!

Horatio Cornblower

People who do call-in orders at coffee-shops so they can jump the line should be gassed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can see if you have a huge order to bring to a meeting or some shit, but yeah, maybe scalded to death.

Horatio Cornblower

I can make an exception for that. Plus it sucks to be the guy sent out to get that order and have to deliver while everyone in line stares daggers into your back.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Somebody better tie a rope around that fucker’s ass and keep him reigned in.
I will drive to Atlanta and kill that fucker if he gets flagged again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

I’m not even watching the game but i kinda want to see this happen

Horatio Cornblower

I’d like to see a replay of what they’re doing. It’s got to be pretty good for officials to be telling a GA team to knock it off in GA.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It was warranted. Though I’d question if it got flagged going the other way….let’s just say.

Redshirt

Undisputed 4th Best Team in the Nation!

WCS

Slow your roll. I’d still put you ahead of Clemson.

TOP THREE ASSHOLES

Senor Weaselo

Dawgs bench doing their best to sabotage themselves, even though fuck it, I’d be excited too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re not getting paid to keep your shit reigned in.
He better fucking check himself.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Alohaception!

Mr. Ayo

Tua-over

Horatio Cornblower

He’ll be doin’ Samoanin’ about that one amirite?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

I forget, is the Deluxe version better or the Supreme?

Redshirt

Hey! A.J. Green finally made it to a Championship Game!