Your “One More Monday Night Game? But It’s JV NFL? Whatever…I’LL TAKE IT!” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Your new Bears head coach is Matt Nagy.
    • He is/was the Chiefs OC in 2016. Prior to the Chiefs, he was with the Eagles from 2009-13.
      • He played QB at Delaware, and spent 5 years in the Arena League.
  • SHOCKING: Richie Incognito is being accused of dropping some slurs in the Bills loss versus the Jags.
    • Specifically, Jags DE Yannick Ngakoue accused Incognito of making “some weak racist slurs” during the game.
  • SHOCKING #2: Cam’s concussion protocol treatment during the loss to the Saints will be getting the once-over by the NFL.
    • It will get the same scrutiny that Russell Wilson’s protocol did when he spent the three minutes in the tent back in November, a move which cost the Seahawks $100,000.
  • SHOCKING #3: Jeff Triplette was reportedly so bad on Saturday he decided to retire.
    • Now, this morning, the controversy is that the NFL knew he was retiring, and gave him a playoff game upon which to ride off into the sunset.

Finally, this is pretty savage.


Game preview: JV Falcons versus JV Patriots

I don’t care what the spread is, this game is Bama’s to lose. They could theoretically win their 5th National Championship in nine years, so as much as we like to rip on Nick Satan Saban, you have to allow that Alabama has shown a remarkable pattern of success since his hiring.

From everything I read, it sounds like this game comes down to whether Georgia’s two-headed running monster can overcome Alabama’s stifling #1-ranked run defence. Seniors Nick Chubb and Sony Michel both have surpassed the 1,000-yard mark this fall, boosting their career totals to a combined 8,259 yards, moving them past Eric Dickerson and Craig James – of Southern Methodist fame in the early 1980s – on the all-time list for tandem running backs.

Because, from having watched the two semi-final games, Georgia doesn’t have much of a defence, and Alabama can put up points fairly quickly. A freshman QB, no matter how poised, doesn’t have much to draw upon if he gets flustered. If the game turns to Bama quickly, I think we all have to reflect on how supremely talented DeShaun Watson is, and how what he did for Clemson last year might be considered a miracle. I’m keeping RAW on redial if this game becomes a blowout by halftime.

SI.com has a story on the game’s punters, which isn’t half-bad. Read all the way to the bottom, however, for the latest in America’s culinary demise, Batter – the edible cookie dough gelaterie.

  

Commercial airtime is averaging $1.2 million per 30-second spot. Kendrick Lamar is performing at halftime.

For you lovable gambling degenerates, Alabama is currently favoured by 4.5, and the over/under is 47.

Oh, and the President will be there, so I hope people enjoy the extra extra-security the game already has. In Canada, they’ve mostly stopped showing politicians on the big screen, because they always get booed. I wonder if they’ll show the Orange Face of Incompetence on the YUGGGGGE board, and if so what will the reaction be.

Update: Well, the protests are planned.

No surprise, since the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reminds its readers that Trump tweeted that Atlanta is “horrible” and “crime infested”.

Seriously – he needed this at the Army-Navy game?

Prediction:

What I want: Georgia 24-17

What I expect: Alabama 35-10


Tonight’s sports:

  • College Football Playoff National Championship: Alabama vs. Georgia
    • 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Pacers – 7:00PM | NBATV
    • Raptors at Nets – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Nuggets at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  •  WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Unless you have a regional broadcast that interests you, it’s a pretty thin sports schedule tonight.

AGREED!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

your lust for universal health care

King Hippo

ah was thinkin PAAAAWWWWWLLLL, maybe Saban oughtta throw that Greek back and git one of them Mexican kickers, wut say yeeeewwww?

Mr. Ayo

Go out and git Messi fer christ’s sakes.

scotchnaut

Liam Neeson has a set of commuter train sitter skills that gonna take care of white guy’s bizness.

Spur

Peter King is 1st in line for this movie.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

-Blair Walsh

King Hippo

as I said…permanent DFO job…JV too

herodotus450

[slowly walks away with Snoopy music playing]
-Chimaera-like beast made up of Roberto Aguyo and Shaun Suisham

Mr. Ayo

Don’t forget Younghoe Koo

JustStopDude

FYI everybody, you can legally stream the game feed, no announcers, directly from ESPN…

http://www.espn.com/watch/_/id/3267580/sounds-of-the-game-2018-college-football-playoff-national-championship

blaxabbath

I’m high and need a few ingredients so I’m walking over to wallmart. If I don’t come back, I was killed for my earbuds

Spanky Datass

The Coaches Film Room coverage on ESPNEWS is petty good once I got used to the camera placement in the rafters of Megratron’s butthole.

Gatoraids

Thanks forgot what channel that was one. NO holgo this time though

Spanky Datass

Holgorsen was good last week.

Spur

Blair Walsh comment?

Mr. Ayo

Can’t believe I almost forgot about my night job.

WCS

PRAISE SHA’NKLOR

Spur

Satan will not forget this slight.

Unsurprised

What has he done for us lately?

herodotus450

Trump going to the NCAA Championship Game? Makes sense, he’s an outspoken supporter of outdated, openly flawed, and universally mocked systems of choosing a winner.

Unsurprised

And slavery

The Maestro

First chance I’ve had to comment on here in weeks. God bless.

Anyways, ROLL METEOR

King Hippo

I thought u just rolled rental vehicles??

The Maestro

RIP Brad the Honda 🙁

blaxabbath

I’d rather the NCAA say, “you don’t like the BCS, don’t like the playoff. Fine. Old rules. Now watch every single one of our bowl games so you can adequately rank all 104 teams on just the validly of your eye test.”

King Hippo

they will just slowly keep improving at a rate that maximizes profit…uh, I mean, a manner that maximizes opportunity for the student-athletes they SERVE (snicker)

WCS

That was… interesting…

King Hippo

oh that was cold-blooded

litre_cola

Georgia with a home game for the Championship? That is odd to me, however I assume Tide fans just prepurchase final tickets every year.

Spur

Why isn’t this on ABC?

WCS

The Mouse ain’t care.

herodotus450

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litre_cola

Too busy trying to keep up with CBS primetime lineup that we have heard so much about.

Spur

Where did Fat Boy run off too? he knows they only have Chick-FIL-A, no Mcdonalds.

King Hippo

rub teh chicken on teh terlet, it’s almost same then

Spur

Damn, Herschel Walker could still play of he wanted too.

scotchnaut

If he wasn’t so un-hip, I’d say the same thing about Bo Jackson.

WCS

FUCK FRANK BEAMER AND HIS NECK GOITER

Spur

When does UCF come out?

WCS

They got winner.

Senor Weaselo

As long as it ends with JR announcing it.

Gatoraids

All of UCF Players come out from under the turf in Doink outfits

scotchnaut

Best Legendary Movie Director Collaboration?

I’m going with Alfred Hitchcock and Russ Meyers.

Spur

Kendrick Lamar better say so something about Trump at halftime.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t kneel if they’re not on the field, I guess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sounds like they did a decent job of booing the President. It wasn’t overwhelming, but I can’t imagine he’s heard anything like that in a public appearance in…ever, to be honest.

WCS

comment image

You can mark off “Lip-syncing the national anthem!”

JustStopDude

No…”refers to game as ‘match'”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Shoots basketball into ring.” Wait, that was Ted Cruz.

Redshirt

This may be a Full Card.

Senor Weaselo

What about Dave Upthearse?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhMhrhxw9pw

King Hippo

get fucked, Disney corp. and your Nazi legacy

Viva La Tabula Raza

Tomorrow’s early morning tweet: “It was really great for the Zac Brown Band to serenade me with the Star Spangled Banner last night. What a great way for them to honor my presence!”

JustStopDude

Will Sasso’s arm tattoos look retarded…

JustStopDude

That a pretty shitty crowd response considering its Bama vs Georgia in Atlanta.

At this point…where the fuck could Trump show up to and not get booed?

An alt-right youtube video comment thread? Breitbart.com?

scotchnaut

/watching some old movie footage

If I had a time machine, I’d suck on Liv Ullman’s 48 year-old nose for as long as she’d let me.

Spur

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Eat my ass!

Viva La Tabula Raza

It would be great if the players knelt for the anthem.

Spur

Or the ROTC cadet do as well.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess they precluded that possibility by keeping them in the locker room.

Spur

boos for trump

WCS

BBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, you just never stop learning stuff as you get older. Ever since Steely Dan released Deacon Blues back in the late 70s, I’ve always thought the Alabama mascot was some kind of red wave or something. How the fuck does that correlate to an elephant?
Off to Wikipedia, I guess.

blaxabbath

One of those unattributed, “Opposing fans said the sound of the tide entering the stadium shook the place like a group of stampeding elephants.”

Gatoraids

By God that’s Oprah’s music.

Redshirt

Me: “I don’t feel like watching a bunch of entitled babies only in the position where they are because of the system. I’ll check out Raw.”
(Roman Reigns’ music hits)
Me: “Touché, WWE. Touché.”

JustStopDude

You know…I don’t folks all clamoring like a bunch of idiots wanting that there playoff being expanded and shit.

So we expand it to 8 teams…that means there are 6 teams from the SEC playing for the championship. I’m sorry…I realize Mississippi State is a hell of a lot better than whoever the fuck wins the WAC PAC Big Ten whatever loser conference…but its a bit silly to see them competing with the likes of Bama again when we already know the results gonna be.

ROLL TIDE!

King Hippo

ah think ah speaks for us all when ah say the MOAR SECCCCC PAWWWWWLLLL the better, wut say yeeeeewwww??

litre_cola

I would like to see Power 5 champs and 3 wild cards

Spur

12 team playoff. All Conference Champs + 2 wildcards. Top 4 get a bye week.

Senor Weaselo

Who out of us came with the idea of the 16-team bracket with the Big East style double-bye?
/Yes I know every large conference uses it now for basketball but the Big East used it first.
//And they don’t anymore because it’s 10 teams now.

JustStopDude

Its the “National Championship”…not the “National Participation and Feel Good Snowflake Festival”.

This is Trump’s America Damn IT!

ROLL TIDE!

scotchnaut

“What is with this sudden obsession with washing detergent? You’d think there would be a corresponding bump in references to ‘Bounce’!”

-‘All Things Laundry’ blog

herodotus450

/Gets run over by a team of mules

herodotus450

I love* how players get fined for publicly saying refs screwed up. That’s literally what the refs do when they call penalties/fouls: tell the world that a player screwed up.
*love: I only say love instead of hate because I have nothing else to love.

Spur

Will i feel better. You know Trump was told a West Coast city could be hit and he shrugged it off because it’s full of liberals
http://www.businessinsider.com/tillerson-mattis-trump-north-korea-strike-2018-1

Unsurprised

Joke’s on conservatives when they nuke Orange County beachside. Silver hair burns blue.

Spur

This Alabama vs UCF game is going to be great.

Spur

Did Trump release has Fake News Awards?

WCS

No, he had to “delay” them. Sad!

herodotus450

So the Fake News Awards announcement was… Fake News?

Redshirt

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WCS

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scotchnaut

Dead or Alive, hero hit the nail right on the CNN!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNiXGX2nLU

scotchnaut

I heard that it was postponed until Wednesday because its greatness couldn’t be contained by a Monday.

Redshirt

My attitude towards the SEC National Championship Bowl.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NDNxPD3dM8&t=59s

WCS

That is wonderful.

blaxabbath

Pregnant wife wants to know what I want to do for my bday later in January. I’m like, can’t drink, limited diet (plus eats less), unpredictable cravings….can’t do massages or anything fun like spas….I’m just like, I appreciate the thought but can’t i just order in whatever dinner you’re craving that night.

WCS

Mayonnaise and olive pizza it is!

Redshirt

Mt. Dew and Asparagus it is!

WCS

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scotchnaut

Take one for the team and ask for “The Parade Of Pickles”. The gherkins, dills and sweet relish will sate her palate.

Spur

Hail Satan!

scotchnaut

[turns red] “Shucks. I thought you guys forgot about me.”

-Miroslav Satan

herodotus450

[is already a reddish color] “(says nothing because it is a non-sentient pile of decoagulated wheat)”
-Loaf of seitan

King Hippo

the HBO Bowie documentary is also on tonight, setting the dvr for that

scotchnaut

I hope they talk about more than just his golden years.(hahahaha)

King Hippo

I put like $57 on Roll Damn Tide, because (i) I have NO IDEA what is gonna happen; and (ii) YAY EVIL

WCS

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Redshirt

That split second flash of a naked Marge in bed covered in a blanket is making feel uncomfortable and/or ashamed.

Unsurprised

It’s 4:20. Time for munchies.

Redshirt

Remember all those times I said “Give me someone to vote for in ’20”? Oprah would be a good alternative to Trump. A popular unifying force that the muggles who went Trump would happy go towards.

If you guys send us Warner or Pelosi, you didn’t learn from ’16.
If you guys send us Hillary again, I may vote for Trump purely out of spite.

Unsurprised

Death to all billionaires.

Redshirt

Poverty for all Billionaires!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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King Hippo

think they’d prefer death

Redshirt

Its a two part plan.

1st: Poverty
2nd: Death

blaxabbath

Yeah – or, sadly, I think Young Kennedy couldn’t get a lot of press quickly (he’s probably going to wait a few decades for his turn).

Redshirt

If you mean Joe III, I don’t think America is ready to elect a Ginger President.

WCS

New David Byrne album!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not for another two months 🙁

WCS

I’ve waited 14 years, a couple of months is nothing.

scotchnaut
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