Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:

Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.

Injuries:

Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.

We Need To Talk About Blake:

Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.

My Hot Takeaway:

I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.

What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!

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Dick E. Phuck

When did sports coverage become so shitty?

LemonJello

Can we hypnotize the entire Jaguras team to think next week is an odd week?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When in the last time two teams combined for 87 points in the playoffs?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Jags and Dolphins got close when the Jags won 62-7.

And we all like how that adds up.

LemonJello

Nice.

Dick E. Phuck

Nice.

Dick E. Phuck

I’d go with the ARI-GB 2009 wild card game. I think that game ended with a score of 51-45 or something like that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, I remember that one. My hate of the Packers was peaking around that time so I enjoyed that finish quite a bit.

blaxabbath

That was a low defensive evening.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That’s actually the record for most in a single playoff game ever…

but the most recent was the Chiefs shitting their pants against the Colts in ’14.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Why not go for two?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was thinking the same thing but there would be no way to recover the ball and still have time for a field goal attempt.

blaxabbath

Does Doug Marrone speak?

ThePirateSloth

Could the Jags players not even attempt to touch the ball here?

Welp – nevermind.

blaxabbath

Works for the Bears WR corps.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They could, but it would be a bad idea since it’s a live ball.

Dick E. Phuck

Now they have to face the undefeated NFL referees in the AFC championship game.

Spur

Holy roller is not an option here.

blaxabbath

PIT faithful….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh shut the fuck up. Stillers weren’t looking ahead, they just got their asses beat.

Give Jax their due. Asshole announcers. STFU.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now now, what if they recover their own offside kick for a touchdown?

blaxabbath

That’d have been a great miss.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[Checks in briefly]

– DOINK

Brocky

So has anyone ever kicked an onside, recovered it. And return it?

I’ve seen the receiving team do it, but never the one kicking it

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, the Jags may be a tougher out for my guys next week, but that’s OK because I hate the Steelers as much as the rest of you hate the Pats, and this was FUCKING GREAT.

blaxabbath

Congrats.

blaxabbath

I’d like to see an interview with the Jags guy trashing his room in the color rush jersey from last years Quotables.

Spur

boo boo

/waves yellow towelie in the air.

King Hippo

Juju garbageDOWN

fleshwound_NPG
blaxabbath

ESPN — ignores….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes! Yes! Boo your stupid Steelers!

blaxabbath

I love clock stoppages when the game is decided. The fans really pour it on.

King Hippo

after grounding, they shoulda kicked

blaxabbath

45 second run off.

Game over.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought the purpose of the prevent defense was to stop the offense from getting long downfield passes where the receiver is able to step out of bounds.

blaxabbath

It has all purposes.

King Hippo

GROUNDING!

ThePirateSloth

Um. Guys.

blaxabbath

“Hold on here…”

CBS, after PIT does not score and the clock drops under :50.

Mr. Ayo

Bortles has never lost a playoff game

litre_cola

Nor has Johnny Manziel

Brick Meathook

Steelers don’t even care anymore

litre_cola

How raycess are the Stillers message boards right now?

Col. Duke LaCross

Yes.

Dunstan

About 0.8 Bahstons

blaxabbath

That was poor getting out bounds.

Spur
Gratliff

I love that the boo birds are out. There’s just something extra special about losing at home to the fucking Jaguars in the playoffs.

blaxabbath

Not an experience many know..

fleshwound_NPG

It started the mini-dynasty the elway broncos had in 97 and 98

King Hippo

a franchise with 6 Superb Owls that goes to the playoffs every season, and the fans are fickle and entitled enough to fucking boo

Spur

why you gotta make young hippo remember?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“All right Heyward-Bey, just run straight downfield as fast as you can to draw away coverage.”

“But what if the ball comes my way?”

“Well, we’ll just have to hope that it gets stuck in your facemask.”

blaxabbath

How much credit for this JAX team goes to Coughlin?

fleshwound_NPG

All, if they beat New England.

King Hippo

he’s one magical old man

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At the very least the 15% that would cover the early bird discount.

fleshwound_NPG

Once again, The Ben cannot win a playoff game with more than 275 yards passing and 34 attempts

blaxabbath

Fun hit.

King Hippo

Enjoyed The Ben whinging, too

Col. Duke LaCross
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Just let Pittsburgh score and have Boswell fuck up the onside again.

blaxabbath

JAX should onside just to show PIT how its done.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lambo apparently plays to the level of his competition, which is bad news if you’re a co-ed going out drinking tonight.

Spur

that’s game . get fucked Steelers.

King Hippo

I would, under no circumstances, have attempted that FG in Heinz Field

King Hippo

80 points!

fleshwound_NPG

in a game involving blake bortles!

Mr. Ayo

/deletes post

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sure, he’ll miss that against Cleveland…

blaxabbath

Josh Lambo is a Quotables hall of famer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They should fake this.

litre_cola

Commentists, I do not think this is over.

Gratliff

Where there’s a derp, there’s a way.

Mr. Ayo

Bananacakes!

King Hippo

indeed!

fleshwound_NPG

nothing fucks with kickers more than heinz field

Viva La Tabula Raza

That ought to do it though,