Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:

Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.

Injuries:

Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.

We Need To Talk About Blake:

Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.

My Hot Takeaway:

I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.

What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!

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blaxabbath

That was the wobbliest six-yard pass I’ve ever seen.

Jeez, are we turning the corner to, “Is Blake Bortles an elite quarterback?”?

LemonJello

No. Never.

rockingdog

better question
Who is more elite Blake Borltes or Joe Flacco?

bk109

Yes.

...

This post aged well.

King Hippo

WOO!!!!

blaxabbath

Will Haley ever be a H.C. again?

(Oh God….don’t do it ARI!)

fleshwound_NPG

shitty retread coaches are like crack to nfl teams…yes.

blaxabbath

That’s too bad.

fleshwound_NPG

WHY IS BORT THROWING

CBQUE

So Jacksonville is basically running one man routes?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nice Rex impression there, Blake.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bossman Todd gonna get fucked up at Primanti’s tonight WOOOO WOOO

...

I’m still laughing at the fact he made news for his behavior at a place called “Tequila Cowboy.” It’s so perfectly Todd Haley.

CBQUE

Remember this when coaches and experts on NFL Live and NFL Network tell us dumb fans we don’t “get the game.”

King Hippo

somebody’s gonna give that Haley asshole a HC job, too

rockingdog

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fleshwound_NPG

Todd Haley has a QB the size of a house and will NEVER QB SNEAK on 4th and inches.

rockingdog

bahahahaha

nomonkeyfun

And the Ben loves to force himself into holes.

bk109

And a concussion-proof QB at that, so no risk in using him.. Seriously,tho – if Big Ben gets dinged, how does he FAIL a concussion protocol? He gets a quick IQ test and gains double digits?

King Hippo

he says something respectful about women?

bk109

You owe me like a finger of triple sec for that one XD

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“3rd and inches? Power run up the middle? FUCK THAT SHIT! DEEP CROSSER!”

rockingdog

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CBQUE

I hope that Bell shanks Haley after this game is over.

litre_cola

You have Bell, yet you do not use him.

CBQUE

Remember; THE STEELERS FIRED BRUCE ARIANS SO THEY COULD HIRE TODD HALEY.

Petronel

In what universe was that a good call?

King Hippo

Andy Reid’s?

nomonkeyfun

Jesus Christ. I don’t have access to the game. How the fuck is Jax ahead when Bartles and James is (squints at box score) 9/20?!?!?!?!? with 96 yds and no big rushers????? Da Fuq is happening

King Hippo

Essentially 2 defensing scores.

King Hippo

Evil heart status? WARMER!

Mr. Ayo

WTF Haley. No Camaro for you!

Spur

woot woot

fleshwound_NPG

TODD HALEY, STILL A DUMBASS.

blaxabbath

Wheels spin….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How did the officials not jump at the chance to throw the flag there?

Dick E. Phuck

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

Brocky

They weren’t expecting a pass either

blaxabbath

That’s some quality outsmarting yourself, Todd.

King Hippo

when you fuckup 4th and a foot obviously, better double down next time so nobody notices!

King Hippo

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

blaxabbath

Calais Campbell is such an asset. He’s got solid experience, is a physical freak. great locker room guy, and can make plays. Great add by JAX.

litre_cola

Why did Zona let him go?

blaxabbath

He was looking for a big contract and was coming off a couple years where he just wasn’t breaking through. Not playing consistently to his potential kinda had him in BA’s doghouse. Which was a great person to appease since he retired 16 games later.

Brocky

great locker room guy

But not a lunch pail type guy right

LemonJello

“Hey!”
-D. Devito

Dick E. Phuck

“No Reason to Live.”
– James Dungy

Brocky

God damn lol

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go for it, but don’t do stupid shit this time.

Brocky

Uh…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY???????

CBQUE

Dear Todd; Big Ben is 6’5 TRY A FUCKING SNEAK YOU DUMB ASS

tomsellecksmoustache

They’re gonna pass.

litre_cola

He is worried about getting trim later.

Gratliff

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blaxabbath

Too obvious.

King Hippo

here’s the ballgame, 4th and a foot.

CBQUE

Cue Barry Switzer

ThePirateSloth

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CBQUE

That is the Doug Marrone from Syracuse that I remember.

blaxabbath

Playoff experience matters.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep. So does fatigue. Jax D is in big trouble now.

fleshwound_NPG

Especially in the AFC, where it’s Brady/The Ben/Manning every year in the title game.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s it. Nap time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

womp womp

fleshwound_NPG

Game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh for fuck’s sake.

King Hippo

#DarkestTimeline

King Hippo

No call on the clear late hit on Westbrook…

fleshwound_NPG

Bort cannot throw further than 7 yards, and these receivers cannot get properly open.

litre_cola

Here it comes boys.

LemonJello

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Dick E. Phuck

I’m shocked that the Cottage Cheese company couldn’t afford the copyright fees to play “Take on Me” for their commercial.

Gratliff

Who just has $20 lying around these days?

rockingdog

Jags sitting at 76% win probability folks!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man if I could get a 3:1 payout on the Steelers I’d take that in a heartbeat.

King Hippo

why the Jeebus Tittyfuck do they insist on rolling Horny Fourny out there? He’s cooked. Yeldon is a good player.

CBQUE

When healthy Fournette is better but I agree he has to a liability with the injury

CBQUE

No matter the results of this season The Jags have to know that Bortles is wasting this defense.

Spur

Cousins or Elisha would make this team elite.

CBQUE

I was thinking Alex Smith. Eli isn’t going anywhere. Cap hit is too severe

King Hippo

what is Los Gigantes’ hit if they cut him?

CBQUE

Cut or trade it accelerates to $12.4 million. Which is why they should take Saquon Barkely and see what they have in Webb.

fleshwound_NPG

they refuse to let bort throw further than 7 yards

CBQUE

I mean last week’s game film was depressing

King Hippo

KEEP YELDON in the fucking game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh hey, I joined late, did Shazier stand for the anthem?

litre_cola

Wow.

King Hippo

#UppityCripple

ThePirateSloth

Well played

CBQUE

Tomi Lahren ripped him for sitting

bk109

#NotCoolBro Imagine being so badly injured that you can’t even escape Yinzburgh?!

bk109

Dear Nationwide, if we wanted to see Peyton Manning on our TV’s, we’d just dig out his rotting corpse ourselves!

blaxabbath

Bring back those commercial where Manning gave advice about life. Those were good!

rockingdog
fleshwound_NPG

i recognized 0 of those “artists”

CBQUE

Love half these artists at The Grammy’s I’ve never heard of.

litre_cola

Half?

bk109

“Artists”? I accidentally got stuck on MTV Live during the X-mas break, those fuckers can’t sing live at all… jeeebus…

blaxabbath

I’ve heard of Cardy B via a meme only.

Brave New World.

bk109

Who?

CBQUE

A bad female rapper that thinks she’s Lil Kim. Not a fan

theeWeeBabySeamus

The implication being that Lil Kim is a good female rapper?

bk109

If pop(and rap) have taken a similar nosedive in quality as rock? Yeah, she’s way better XD

litre_cola

Didnt she bang some dude who banged some other broad or something?

blaxabbath

I really like the Sonic commercial guys.

tomsellecksmoustache

It looks like we found him guys, the worst person on Earth.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah…the line forms behind me.
But I hate those Sonic turds so maybe I’m improving.

blaxabbath

Damn really? I’d have expected everyone to feel the same way as me

Crazy. And I don’t think Sonic is too bad either.

Romonobyl

That’s a good way to find yourself in an intervention.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I call them “Puffy Goodell and Giant Head Seinfeld”

Mr. Ayo

I approve of this opinion. Those guys are hilarious.

Brocky

The streak…. is over?

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