Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:

Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.

Injuries:

Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.

We Need To Talk About Blake:

Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.

My Hot Takeaway:

I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.

What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!

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Spur

Bort! Bort! He’s our man. If he can’t do it…..it’s ok we all assumed as much.

ThePirateSloth
rockingdog

bahahahaha are you kidding me?
one on one still?

theeWeeBabySeamus

They were in zone. Ben threatening to run pulled the safety off.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Holy shitsnacks, that throw

King Hippo

Needs BORT to the rescue, redux. God help us all.

bk109

You know you’re off the deep end when you end up praying for another Bortles miracle 😀

tomsellecksmoustache

Now, the defense needs to fucking defend.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit Haley…shoulda called the sneak there!!!!!
(hehehehe)

fleshwound_NPG

still single coverage on AB because…why

Spur

hubris

nomonkeyfun

syphillis rotted brain?

Spur

crap.

Redshirt

Why won’t you die?!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sudden Change? SUDDEN CHANGE!

Mr. Ayo

Bananacakes nearing

tomsellecksmoustache

Jesus

litre_cola

He is unfucking believable.

LemonJello

The Ben doing his best to match the turnovers from the previous game vs Jaguras.

King Hippo

oh fucking fuck

ThePirateSloth

Did he say Smoot? We can make Smoot jokes? Fantastic!

Petronel

WOW

blaxabbath

What a fucking catch.

ArmedandHammered

Now’s the time for the QB sneak. –Boss Todd

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, let’s not hear anymore about Yinzburgh favoritism.
Blatantly wrong no call there.

fleshwound_NPG

That’s a 50-yard penalty next week

Spur

and automatic TD

King Hippo

ah man, fat guy dropped his pickerception

fleshwound_NPG

jags rushed the ben legit once today, and it worked

King Hippo

getting pretty good leverage with just 4, really nice gameplan

King Hippo

NO PREVENT BULLDICKERY

bk109

What’s a computer? .. I want some meteor to hit the offices for the ad agency that shat this turd… and the kid actor’s mom to be visited by the Grumblelord with some celebratory tequila and Barry White 😉

King Hippo

turning the volume down on the teevee box worked wonders

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, you’ll have to speak up.

Gratliff

Cranking out that war porn like nobody’s business. We’re totally going into Iran, aren’t we?

LemonJello

North Korea Pt II, coming this summer…

Dick E. Phuck

Starring Josh Duhamel and Mark Wahlberg.

blaxabbath

“I’m giving COngress 15 minutes to declare the war with north korea over or else I’m nuking.”

blaxabbath

Dude — I see all these army shows fighting insurgencies. This next generation is going to think that this is what the police in big cities should look like.

nomonkeyfun

The cops already think that.

Gratliff

It’s what the people in charge think already.

ArmedandHammered

The Iranians seem to be doing a good job of imploding right now, with the riots.

blaxabbath

LET’S ARM ‘EM! WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Brick Meathook

Green Berets got jealous of Navy Seals movies.

nomonkeyfun

How hard could it be to fight Iran, we alsready killed Saddam Husane, and beat their asses twice with a Bush as presideant. Imagine now we have a real man like Trump.

fleshwound_NPG

want the stillers to fuck up one more 4th and inches today so todd haley can be sent to superhell

bk109

I thought Hue Jackson kept his job in Cleveland?

King Hippo

Arizona?

LemonJello

Detroit?

bk109

Detroit works! Whatever keeps Patricia in Foxborough.. What can we do without announcers reminding people that “he’s a rocket scientist,you know” 50 times per game?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Unleashing the Dragon 2: Electric Bortleoo

Dick E. Phuck

Third and inches: A Brett Favre struggle.

blaxabbath

Josh Lambo: Playoff Point Scorer

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Guh, can someone do something so next week’s AFC Championship gets postponed for a week?

King Hippo

somebody get ISIS on teh phone!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve praying for a meteor to hit the Boston area for years.
What else do you want from me??????????

blaxabbath

Seriously. Like, I’ll let you know when I want you calling Boston ‘cold enough’, oh Lord.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just prayers? Needs more thoughts.

blaxabbath

::Shoves entire quarter pounder in his mouth, slams it down with half an extra large diet coke, and fires up Twitter about PRNK…..::

Brocky

And in the coming weeks, a bunch of female fans sitting at that end zone will find that they have been impregnated by that pass

King Hippo

Sad Omar Epps face…

CBQUE

So Todd Haley is gone after today right? I mean The Steelers have seen enough right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Should be after those two 4th down braincramps.

litre_cola

Totally – Marvin Lewis

Spur

make him the next Giants head coach. yes, please.

Brick Meathook

THE IMAGINARY LADDER

ThePirateSloth

#sexcannonapproved

Spur
blaxabbath

Fournette has really lived up the JV hype.

King Hippo

Horny FournyDOWN!!!

Brocky

comment image

Dick E. Phuck

“The ruling on the field has been changed. It is an incomplete pass.”

LemonJello

I was just thinking up a “WHAT IS CATCH?” comment for this score.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Blake Bortles stars in Unleashing the Dragon.

King Hippo

BOOM!

Spur

bort bomb

fleshwound_NPG

BORTCANNON………..?!?!?!?!?!

Mr. Ayo

BORTLES! NEVER A DOUBT!

King Hippo

You can’t stop, you can BARELY HOPE 2 contain…

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