[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:
Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.
Injuries:
Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.
We Need To Talk About Blake:
Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.
My Hot Takeaway:
I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.
What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!
Bort! Bort! He’s our man. If he can’t do it…..it’s ok we all assumed as much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5AgRBwciN4
bahahahaha are you kidding me?
one on one still?
They were in zone. Ben threatening to run pulled the safety off.
Holy shitsnacks, that throw
Needs BORT to the rescue, redux. God help us all.
You know you’re off the deep end when you end up praying for another Bortles miracle 😀
Now, the defense needs to fucking defend.
Dammit Haley…shoulda called the sneak there!!!!!
(hehehehe)
still single coverage on AB because…why
hubris
syphillis rotted brain?
crap.
Why won’t you die?!
Sudden Change? SUDDEN CHANGE!
Bananacakes nearing
Jesus
He is unfucking believable.
The Ben doing his best to match the turnovers from the previous game vs Jaguras.
oh fucking fuck
Did he say Smoot? We can make Smoot jokes? Fantastic!
WOW
What a fucking catch.
Now’s the time for the QB sneak. –Boss Todd
Yeah, let’s not hear anymore about Yinzburgh favoritism.
Blatantly wrong no call there.
That’s a 50-yard penalty next week
and automatic TD
ah man, fat guy dropped his pickerception
jags rushed the ben legit once today, and it worked
getting pretty good leverage with just 4, really nice gameplan
NO PREVENT BULLDICKERY
What’s a computer? .. I want some meteor to hit the offices for the ad agency that shat this turd… and the kid actor’s mom to be visited by the Grumblelord with some celebratory tequila and Barry White 😉
turning the volume down on the teevee box worked wonders
Sorry, you’ll have to speak up.
Cranking out that war porn like nobody’s business. We’re totally going into Iran, aren’t we?
North Korea Pt II, coming this summer…
Starring Josh Duhamel and Mark Wahlberg.
“I’m giving COngress 15 minutes to declare the war with north korea over or else I’m nuking.”
Dude — I see all these army shows fighting insurgencies. This next generation is going to think that this is what the police in big cities should look like.
The cops already think that.
It’s what the people in charge think already.
The Iranians seem to be doing a good job of imploding right now, with the riots.
LET’S ARM ‘EM! WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Green Berets got jealous of Navy Seals movies.
How hard could it be to fight Iran, we alsready killed Saddam Husane, and beat their asses twice with a Bush as presideant. Imagine now we have a real man like Trump.
want the stillers to fuck up one more 4th and inches today so todd haley can be sent to superhell
I thought Hue Jackson kept his job in Cleveland?
Arizona?
Detroit?
Detroit works! Whatever keeps Patricia in Foxborough.. What can we do without announcers reminding people that “he’s a rocket scientist,you know” 50 times per game?!
“There may be a few more surprises in store before this game is done.”
-Billy Banacakes
Unleashing the Dragon 2: Electric Bortleoo
Third and inches: A Brett Favre struggle.
Josh Lambo: Playoff Point Scorer
Guh, can someone do something so next week’s AFC Championship gets postponed for a week?
somebody get ISIS on teh phone!
I’ve praying for a meteor to hit the Boston area for years.
What else do you want from me??????????
Seriously. Like, I’ll let you know when I want you calling Boston ‘cold enough’, oh Lord.
Just prayers? Needs more thoughts.
::Shoves entire quarter pounder in his mouth, slams it down with half an extra large diet coke, and fires up Twitter about PRNK…..::
And in the coming weeks, a bunch of female fans sitting at that end zone will find that they have been impregnated by that pass
Sad Omar Epps face…
So Todd Haley is gone after today right? I mean The Steelers have seen enough right?
Should be after those two 4th down braincramps.
Totally – Marvin Lewis
make him the next Giants head coach. yes, please.
THE IMAGINARY LADDER
#sexcannonapproved
https://youtu.be/AXjm8hGB64E?t=17s
Fournette has really lived up the JV hype.
Horny FournyDOWN!!!
“The ruling on the field has been changed. It is an incomplete pass.”
I was just thinking up a “WHAT IS CATCH?” comment for this score.
YOWSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blake Bortles stars in Unleashing the Dragon.
BOOM!
bort bomb
BORTCANNON………..?!?!?!?!?!
BORTLES! NEVER A DOUBT!
You can’t stop, you can BARELY HOPE 2 contain…