[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:
Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.
Injuries:
Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.
We Need To Talk About Blake:
Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.
My Hot Takeaway:
I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.
What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!
TAWMY
woah nelly
To follow-up an earlier comment (forget who), I hereby decree the Bananacakes threshold crossed.
Don’t ask Jason to hate Murrica.
THESE JAGUARS I CALL THEM Le CHATALIER BECAUSE WHENEVER CONDITIONS CHANGE THEY MAINTAIN EQUILIBRIUM
bahahaha that is great! hell of a game! 42 points!
which one of you suckers said this was gonna be a sucky game?
Sill.
FORBIDDEN WORD
Only I have the power to speak it.
For a reason.
I am on to you Blax.
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I freely admit that I did not expect this, and probably said as much.
They should change this commercial after this game to have him using that towel
I’d like to imagine the NFL higher-ups in the league office watching this game at an evil conference room table, screaming a bunch of obscenities and throwing shit on the floor as a result of this game.
The one who work in the ratings division probably are.
“Why do we allow playoff teams in from these shithole cities!?”
Hey guys, I just figured it out – LemonJello is Silky Gerrard!!
Unleashing the Dragon 3: Electric Bortledee
Man, the racist taeks on Tomlin tomorrow are going to be unbearable
they need to let Haley take over imo godbless
Don’t worry, if he has any dignity – he’d admit guilt (losing to the Bortles twice is a capital offense in PA) and resign in shame to start serving a 10 year sentence as the OC for the Browns 😀
Retread to ARI!
BLAKE BORTLES BETTER RECORD IN JANURY THEN THE RUSSIAN ARMY. BOTH UNDEFEATED VERSE BLITZ
-PFT Commentator
Coach trying to give Bortles five and getting ignored (entering commercial) was pretty entertaining.
DUVAL!
I’m-a chortling about this Bortling.
This game is nuts.
What a coincidence, deez nuts are gamey.
I should probably shower.
Of course Blake wasn’t going to throw the ball too hard there.
Defensive stop next series. please Jaguras?
FUCK YEA
Well.
Fornet is ded
Kinda cool how Marron doesn’t actually talk during games. That’s some quality leadership.
my lord was the beautiful
NEVER A DOUBT! BORTLES!
Bortleortleortletorledown
GAME WINNING FULLBACKDOWN, PFTC CUMS
HOLY SHIT THIS GAME
O Yinz
HonkyDOWN!!!
Hehehehehe
fournette is not even tyring to cut
This is reminiscent of Foles’ 2nd half yesterday.
How many crullers has Chris Ivory hate-eaten in the press box?
All of them.
Barring stupid stuff from Jax, that’s the ballgame.
paddin borts stats, yo
Bleed. That. CLOCK!
Prevent Defenses prevents victories.
Raisinets dont great enough respect.
Keep giving it to Yeldon, he clearly is on his game.
Unless one is Shady, having two working feet is important to play NFL RB.
How can you let Bort do this?
I’m not sure but I feel like TB12 will shred these defenses.
Jaguras 24, P*ts 20
Don’t be absurd – it’s either a Pats blowout, or more realistically
Jags 2, Pats 0 with a safety in overtime 😀
Moar Yeldon, plz
YOUNG YELDON
I’ve got my offseason topic!
YELDON!!!
Put Yeldon back in!!!
Someone was listening.
fournette is semi-dead
Bernie Sanders visits North Korea on 60 Minutes
Horny Fourny can’t cut on that ankle.
“The Verizon – we’re so good we need to constantly spam adverts to attract customers” campaign seems counter-productive
Nah.
INT incoming