Your “Dear God – No!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• The NFL has chosen Gene “Index Card” Steratore to be the Super Bowl referee.
  • So expect at least 25 penalties, so he can get plenty of screen time.
  • And at least one replay involving the legitimacy of a catch.
    • NBC should hire Dez Bryant & Megatron for the afternoon.

• Lane Johnson of the Eagles, he of the post-game dog mask, has turned the idea into a fundraising t-shirt, and has raised more than $55,000 for the Phildelphia school district.
  • In addition, Amazon has sold out of the masks.
    • Which the stadium authority has said people will be able to wear into and around the stadium on Sunday.
      • Because the idea of masked, drunken Eagles fans doesn’t scare anyone, especially police horses.

• By sheer coincidence, Minnesota travel agencies are warning people that being a Vikings fan in Philly will be taking your life into your own hands.
  • “If the Vikings win, yes, I would take off any sort of, like, colors. I know it sounds ridiculous like we’re almost talking about gangs here, but it’s no joke down in Philly. It really isn’t.”

• Todd Haley’s replacement as Pittsburgh’s OC will be QB coach Randy Fichtner.
  • Mike Munchak will stay as offensive line coach.

• And it all started with Bills fans…
  • Because of reasons, Vikings fans have donated over $100,000 to Saints punter Thomas Morstead’s children’s charity, What You Give Will Grow, since Sunday’s game.
    • He will donate that money to Children’s Hospital Minnesota during Super Bowl week.

Finally, your long-read of the day is from Peter King’s word pit, and is about the 35-year friendship between Nick Saban and Bill Belichick.

• It dates back to 1982, when Nick Saban worked for Steve Belichick at Navy.
  • They met when the coach invited the new assistant over for dinner, and Bill was visiting from the Giants.

• It then recounts the times the two of them have gotten together over the years to talk football.
  • Because they both think the same way.
• Really, having read this fawning tripe top-to-bottom, you can choose to interpret their “friendship” any number of ways.
  • Rather than taking the usual “same demons; different cauldron” tack, I’m going coming-of-age movie.
    • Their unrequited love of football, and each other, can’t keep them apart despite the distance of geography and time.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Bruins at Islanders – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • Sabres at Rangers – 7:30PM | NBCSN
  • Penguins at Kings – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
• NBA:
  • 76ers at Celtics – 7:00PM | TNT / TSN2
  • Timberwolves at Rockets – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN2
• NCAA:
  • Men’s basketball:
    • Minnesota at Maryland – 8:30PM | FS1
    • St. Mary’s (Cal.) at Gonzaga – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Southern California at Oregon – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • Women’s basketball:
    • Tennessee at Notre Dame – 7:00PM | ESPN

Seamus has you tomorrow night for teh sexy, and Saturday night while I’m off at an indie wrestling event. I’ll see you Sunday during the games, and we can all commiserate on Monday about the upcoming Patriopocalypse that will be Super Bowl 52. DAMMIT!