Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/New England:
Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.
Injuries:
Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)
Stratergizering:
Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.
Here’s a Problem:
Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.
Old Adage is old:
War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.
Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.
“It’s David vs. Goliath today!”
House of David immediately sues for defamation for being compared to Blake Bortles.
“Don’t compare us to the fackin’ P*ts”
-Goliath’s estate
Does Brady buy his O line the TB12 pajamas or the whole training regiment as a gift?
A gallon of Navajo tears for each man. It cures what ails you
hate drinking is about to ensue
“Go for the hand.”
-Coach Cobra Kai
pick-six or broken collarbone please.
I’ll settle for a good old fashioned hand-stompin’
If ‘Hostiles’ is indeed the finest western since ‘Unforgiven’ I have to assume that Rosamund Pike is stark naked through 3/4 of it.
One could hope.
Her birthday is this Friday…nudge, nudge
I love the fact that Romo has to explain basic passing concepts when discussing Bortles.
“Bortles…pass, incomplete.”
“What is: I heard this for three hours on January 21st, 2018, Alex.”
Did you guys hear about Tom Brady’s hand?
It jacked me off?
Wait… what?
What, did he get goat shit on it, again?
YUUUUUGE pass defence!!!!
Not that I think that should have been called but that glancing blow to Bortles’s facemask would have been 15 yards for the Pats.
Is slow motion even necessary on a bortles pass
It is the default setting
Bortles put everything he had into that pass
I heard a commercial for the Grammys and I did not recognize anyone
Two Things-
1. You’re old.
2. Me too.
Gotta pull that in, Yeldon…
nice long clock killing drives is what the Jags need.
Gentlemen. Ladeez.*
Go, Jags. Frek the Pats.
*Assuming facts not in evidence
Setting up the deep shot. BIGLY
A Perfect Circle? New England would play early 00’s butt rock to pump up the Sully’s
It’s a good thing the Pats D has been garbage for years.
I have gotten through the entire day without wearing pants.
Pajamas don’t count.
Pats D is biting on fake trickery.
I hope they choke on it.
nice bort. don’t panic just dump it off or run
Death by checkdown.
not a 3-and-out…?!
I want Bortles to complete 35 passes just like that one. Float them to death.
to a chorus of NAWT FAYUUUHHH
that’s actual, good QBing!
Just finished work for the day and took a massive dump. Is there a difference in the quality of the two? Absolutely not.
HOW THE FUCK WE DOIN’, FELLOW JAGS FANS!?!?
Thinking I don’t have enough booze for this game.
feelin’ SILKY!
So the over-under on Bortles’ passing yards is like 120, right?
Pick Six to start the game! COME ON
You shut your Pirate-whore mouth!
Altered Carbon was great.
I’ll add it to my Furloughed Watching List.
Good afternoon, everyone. May God finally smite the Patriots and bring us the Salvation only a Bortles can bring.
Can Jalen Ramsey hit Brady, Belichick and McDaniels today?
Not good enough. MOAR LB/WR MISMATCHES DAMMIT
That’ll do, Jaguras, that’ll do.
Yeah! Hit that asshole.
– ballsofsteelandfury
MOAR SACKS FOR THE SACK GOD!
CRUSH THAT HAND!
YASSS
BETTER
maybe awake now?
Damn. Pats went 3 and out.
Off to a bar here in New England. Oh god…..
For fuck’s sake, jaguras they run that pick play ALL THE GODDAMN TIME
FACKIN’ AMENDOLERRRRR
goddamnit, that’s ballgame
I want to see this every down.
surely they will kick?
no, they’re assholes
well, that’s my first prop ded
oh shit
Campbell needs to stomp on that hand.