Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I missed the 1st qtr, but I like what I just came home to.

King Hippo

won 5 bills betting against our shitty wolves too! today gon’ be a good day

theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t even seen that score yet. Good bet tho.
Maybe 5 bills is scaring me a little tho.

Horatio Cornblower

One of those Bills was Richie Incognito, so it’s a mixed blessing at best.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“No flag? He laid hands upon owah receevah! No one denies this!!!”

Spur

Brady’s going to start whining next series

JustStopDude

Playoff pouting Brady is the best….

Smithchez

What? A Patriots receiver wanted a flag and there wasn’t a penalty? Fetch my fainting couch!

LemonJello

Do P*ts receivers just expect the flag on every play now?

tomsellecksmoustache

QUIT ACTING LIKE A PACK OF DAHKIES AND PLAYA!!!

King Hippo

3 and out redux, muthaflippas!!

Spur

Where’s the FLAG!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

Dreamboat has yips?

herodotus450

The Jags have made the playoffs before? All those stories about Mark Brunell are true?

clint greasewood

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BrADY’S HANDS

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m glad I’m not baked or else I’d watch this all day.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, Pacific Rim was fun and all, but do we really need a second one?

Spur

Charlie is NOT going back to that bar!

JustStopDude

Considering that there is a remake coming out of Death Wish, starring Bruce Willis…Hollywood should just die already…

Spur

the refs have awoken with that TD.

Fight Jags! Fight Jags!

King Hippo

Someone wake Ron Paul from his afternoon nap because IT’S HAPPENING ppl!!!

JustStopDude

How tha fack dat ain’t Offensive PI bro?!?!

Once again, the fack’n NFL bias against da Pats!

NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!

Smithchez

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Bortles!

Horatio Cornblower

SURMOUNTABLE LEAD!!!!

Also, is it just me, or did Nance just call them the Jugwires?

herodotus450

Jegwhores?

Spur

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King Hippo

ROMO is excite!!

Dick E. Phuck

Who are these Jagwires that Jim is speaking of?

Old School Zero

OH BORTLES WON’T YOU TOSS ME A MERCEDES TD

THE PATS ARE ALL ASSHOLES, YOU MUST MAKE AMENDS

herodotus450

A Jaguar passing (to) a Marcedes?

Horatio Cornblower

Really surprised that play didn’t breakdown before it got out of the driveway.

litre_cola

Touchdown Fulham Jaguras!

Gatoraids

We all float down here

ThePirateSloth

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Smithchez

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Spanky Datass

BORT!

tomsellecksmoustache

Is Bortles finally for real or simply having a Flacco year?

LemonJello

Flacco year. Definitely.

fleshwound_NPG

BORTDOWN!?!?!?

...

BORTLELOB BORTLEDOWN

The Maestro

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

King Hippo

J-A-G-U-R-A-S!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

neo-darren sproles is the hero we need

King Hippo

Saved this play/player for the title fixture. LOVE IT!

Dick E. Phuck

Holy Shit, this can happen.

Smithchez

“MARVEL as, in a new age of female empowerment in Hollywood, Clint Eastwood casts three non-actors as themselves to lead and Judy Greer and Jenna Fischer get to play their wives!”

fleshwound_NPG

ah, back when ne was semi-tolerable

LemonJello

Is it wrong to hope for a literal “back breaking turnover” by TB12?

Horatio Cornblower

Not if you’re not in Dorchester.

fleshwound_NPG

FG territory already, jags can move the ball

are you watching, lions fans…

King Hippo

this seems SO WEIRD to say, but I like how BORT looks so far. Composed and in control.

King Hippo

correct read every time, good footwork

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And what they gave him before the game was a hash brownie. Bort’s feeling fiiiiiine.

...

BREAK ‘EM, BORTLES

Spur

Do it Jags! Do it for America!

King Hippo

Horny Fourny!

Horatio Cornblower

Coughlin is working on a crossword puzzle in that booth.

Spur

Eli stills calls him asking if he can have the funnies.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ads for TV shows I’ll never watch starring actors I’ve never heard of.

CBS!

LemonJello

Just wait for the inevitable SWAT/SEAL TEAM crossover!

Horatio Cornblower

Nice to see someone say ‘AFC South champions’ without giggling.

...

I do wonder if Watson and Luck had been able to play all season if the Titans and Jags would have even been over .500.

clint greasewood

That’s the kind of arrogance and pretension we’ve all come to expect from Apple commercials.

Spur

what’s a commercial?

Dick E. Phuck
Gratliff

What’s worse here? A Pats’ blowout, or a soul-crushing 3-0 Pats’ win that is equally enraging and boring?

Spur

A Pats’ blowout.

LemonJello

Does Dreamboat come out of it unscathed? Then yes.

litre_cola

I just want to be entertained before I throw my teeveee off the balcony later.

King Hippo

fuck, I at least need a cover…

...

The latter. The Pats have basically won all their Super Bowls by slim margins and seeing them pull off another victory like that would have me frothing mad.