Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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LemonJello

Jeff Triplette going to make a special emergency never-before-seen replacement appearance in the 2nd half?

Gatoraids

Earl Hebner going to ref the 2nd half

Gratliff

Sorry. This is a job for Lil’ Naitch.
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King Hippo

Jaguras get the ball to open 2nd half

clint greasewood

Wonder if McDaniels and Patricia just trying to get this over and get to coaching at there next job.

Dick E. Phuck

I don’t know, I’d rather live in Satan’s asshole than have to work in Indianapolis.

Sharkbait

There’s a difference?

LemonJello

You’d rather live in Foxboro?

Horatio Cornblower

You spelled “last” wrong for McDaniels.

Spur

So many guest appearances from old DFO and KSK members today.

Clipboard Jesus

Patriot hate brings us out.

Dick E. Phuck

That’s a catch.

tomsellecksmoustache

Trust yourself Bort, that was a perfect pass. No need to rush first down.

Gratliff

Super Bowl’s gonna be on fucking Tru TV at this rate.

blaxabbath

TruTV: Your home of March Madness 2/15 and 3/14 first round games!

Gatoraids

Romo having puberty flash backs on that pass

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit

fleshwound_NPG

ULTRABORT EVOLUTION COMPLETE!

blaxabbath

Is Blake Bortles elite?

LemonJello

I’ll settle for competent. That’s all I ask for today.

Spur

Bort Bomb

Mr. Ayo

BORTLES!

Gatoraids

Brady is going to have to adjust his yoni egg at half

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Horatio Cornblower

Where?

Old School Zero

Funny, I was just thinking about making some toast.

makeitsnowondem

Where’s Chad Johnson when you need him?

Oh, right, Canada.

Old School Zero

Just two more TDs this quarter and Jaguars can be up 28-3 at the half!

Horatio Cornblower

Keep it up, asshole; I’ll make room in this locker.

Old School Zero

I call big spoon.

...

SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

Dick E. Phuck

I’m guessing the Artist “Logic” is being nominated for his hit new single “Mind Meld.”

King Hippo

TD with less than 10 seconds in the half, PLEASE

blaxabbath

I don’t know who Cardi B is. Do I need to learn or will be she be forgotten by next year?

Mr. Ayo

Broaden your horizons and learn.

litre_cola

I think she made a sex video

tomsellecksmoustache

So you’re saying we should lean?

blaxabbath

Dude – who the hell is getting a mortgage through an app?

...

The company I got my mortgage through had an app and I actually uploaded a lot of documents with it, but I still had a lot of contact with the loan officer I worked with. So I guess it’s not that strange to use an app…?

blaxabbath

Your experience makes sense. I’d hope people are at least putting more thought into the largest purchase of their lives than they are….whatever you can order on an app — a taxi, I guess.

JustStopDude

Officials clearly ignoring multiple flagrant “roughing the Brady” calls that should have resulted in flags…

...

It’s so great, isn’t it?

blaxabbath

This shutdown is the answer to all our prayers.

blaxabbath

Clearly Brady needs to scream at his teammates harder.

Smithchez

I mean, I’m not exactly dying to see a new tomb raider movie, but Walton Goggins makes everything better.

Duchess

Oh can’t wait for Brady’s tantrum… er “passionate discussion” on the sidelines.

Spur

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tomsellecksmoustache

If drinking more water prevents sunburns, maybe it will prevent looking like a pussy in the pocket, too.

King Hippo

he ducked like FOUR FUCKING TIMES

fleshwound_NPG

and nobody was that close yet

Spur

it’s great.

Spur

Brady looks like a fawn getting chased by wolves.

Dick E. Phuck

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

Unsurprised

I’m going to go for a walk. Luckily, my boobs aren’t quite as dangerously bouncy.

https://gfycat.com/PerkySlushyAndalusianhorse
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King Hippo

I’m sure the boys still get brought to the yard…

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m seriously getting an erection.

Smithchez

SO FUCKING DREAMY!!!!!!!!

...

I’ll never get over how fucking immobile Brady is.

King Hippo

DID YOU SEE HOW SCARED HE WAS??

Gratliff

DED

Horatio Cornblower

Guess Brady was getting back at Burkhead for that cut hand with that pass.

Old School Zero

4th & Dead

fleshwound_NPG

the jags answer the question “what if the ravens were likable?”

Duchess

/Brady over throws WR

No Comment
Or
“The WR wasn’t in the right spot”

King Hippo

Brady returns the favour from practice with murderball

theeWeeBabySeamus

That hurt a little I think.

clint greasewood

Nantz sounded so surprised that the Pats could float a pass down field and not get a flag.

Spur

Brady is getting happy feet.

LemonJello

I’m hoping it’s followed by a broken heart.

blaxabbath

Jags got some swag

blaxabbath

Nice overthrow Brady. Learn that from BLAINE GABBERT?

King Hippo

smelling pickerception…

Smithchez

You know something’s weird when Nance is audibly surprised there wasn’t a bullshit PI flag there

blaxabbath

Just turned it on. So two more scores until NE becomes invincible?

herodotus450

ItIsAGoodDayToDie

clint greasewood

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