Your “What’s Old Is New Again” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The NFL site says it better than I could:
    • “Baltimore Ravens rookie cornerback Marlon Humphrey was arrested earlier this month by University of Alabama police on misdemeanor harassment and theft charges.”
    • It appears to be a ‘disagreement’ over a $15 phone charger, and whether or not Humphrey stole it & some cables from an Uber driver.
  • The [Redacteds] are at least committed to a linebacker.
    • They’ve re-signed Mason Foster to a two-year deal.
  • Vikings & NFL Hall of Famer Chris Doleman had surgery for a brain tumour.
  • Actual good thing: Malcolm Jenkins is giving his two Super Bowl tickets to a guy who spent 30 years in prison for a crack-house murder.
    • The guy, Kempis Songster, only got out because his lengthy sentence was cut short following the Supreme Court ruling two years ago that found automatic life sentences for juveniles to be unconstitutional.
      • Jenkins met him while doing charity work around criminal justice reform, an issue that has helped him become a finalist for the Walter Payton Award.
      • Jenkins says he’s going to be ‘paid back’ because Songster will be helping Jenkins work on legislative issues & provide insight into the justice & prison systems.

Finally, the Falcons have proven that caring about the fan experience makes for a profitable venture.

  • Basic concession prices were 50% lower than in the Georgia Dome. They called it “Fan First Menu Pricing”, and included tax in the price so it’d be a no-coin transaction.
    • $2 menu: Unlimited Coca-Cola (from self-serve machines), a bottle of water, small popcorn, a regular hot dog or a plain pretzel.
    • $3 menu: waffle fries, a slice of pizza, or nachos with cheese.
  • Accessibility improvements include a 65% increase in point-of-sale windows, and 1264 more beer taps than at the Georgia Dome.
BEGONE, YOU MONSTER!
  • The end result was fan spending increased by 16% from the previous year, and merch sales were up 88%.
    • On average, 6000 more fans entered the stadium early, reducing stadium entry times to 5 minutes within 30 minutes of kickoff.

XFL News:

IT’S BACK, BABY!

  • Vince McMahon is taking the anthem protests as a sign the US is ready for another football league.
    • McMahon said players in his league will not be given the forum to take a personal stance while on the playing field.
      • “People don’t want social and political issues coming into play when they are trying to be entertained,” McMahon said. “We want someone who wants to take a knee to do their version of that on their personal time.”
  • According to ESPN, McMahon said he is the sole funding source for the league, which is slated to begin in January 2020.
    • Its first season will have eight teams around the country playing a 10-week schedule.
    • The initial outlay of money is expected to be around $100 million.
  • “The new XFL is an exciting opportunity to reimagine America’s favorite sport,” said McMahon in a statement.
    • Current plans account for a 10-game regular season beginning in late January or early February followed by a postseason consisting of two semifinal games and a championship game.
    • Active rosters will consist of approximately 40 players with winning incentivized.

Please – drink in the ‘press conference’.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Lightning at Flyers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Blackhawks at Red Wings – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Islanders at Vegas – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Wizards at Thunder – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Timberwolves at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Men’s:
      • Michigan at Purdue – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Colorado at Arizona – 8:30PM | FS1
      • Central Florida at Wichita State – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • California at UCLA – 10:30PM | FS1
    • Women’s:
      • Texas at Baylor – 7:00PM | ESPN2

Seamus has you tomorrow for teh sexy. SEE YOU SATURDAY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Wakezilla

In honour of meeting my wife’s lesbian co-worker, who was pretty cute, but has a smoking hot brunette life partner:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t63oWosHA0

Senor Weaselo

When I learned that Gnarls Barkley was a collaboration between Cee Lo and some other guy (which wasn’t until after Cee Lo had his other hit song) my mind was blown.

Yeah, that’s all I got.

WCS

Over of the overlooked gems of Vegas Vacation is Artie: The Strongest Man in the World cameo.

ballsofsteelandfury

Never forget:

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Unsurprised

Funny.

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Unsurprised

Now this bird’s gotta fly!

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Wakezilla

Vince does realize that playing the national anthem is a political gesture and forcing your employees to stand for the anthem is also a political gesture, right?

Oh, he doesn’t care? Nevermind.

The no-convict thing is great because America isn’t about second chances. Why Vince was never given a second or a few million chances.

Gotta love how old people re-write their own story

WCS

Are you suggesting that Baby Boomers, who are born into wealth, don’t quite understand how economics and history work?

EDIT: They do. Fuck over everyone else.

WCS

Also, the Atomic Clock moved to 23:58, so…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qbRHY1l0vc&ab_channel=IronMaiden

WCS

Vegas Vacation gets a bad rep. No, it’s not in the same timezone as the original Vacation or Christmas, but, it’s on a different continent than the remake. The European Vacation is on a different planet, and not in the good sense. There’s some legitimate Griswold here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Vegas Vacation may be my favorite.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Best Beverly D’Angelo ever looked

Wakezilla

It’s my second favorite, just behind Christmas. I’d say Vegas Vacation gets a bad rap because those who watched the original Vacation, became adults when Vegas was released, and nostalgia kicked in and they felt compelled to shit on Vegas Vacation

WCS

Possibly. My parents absolutely loved the first and Christmas, and they routinely quote both. They really enjoyed Vegas, too, dropping a Nick Pappadapapapodolis (they don’t remember the actual name) reference there, climbing the Hoover Dam there. Of course, they’re in their 60s, love Bull and Criminal Minds, so….

OH FUCK AM I ON “BECOME MY DAD” TRAIL”?!!

Senor Weaselo

Padre Weaselo once said that if he ever becomes as out there as his father that we’re allowed to put him out of his misery. I occasionally have to remind him of this pact.

Brick Meathook

I love Vegas Vacation

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think I am coming down with a cold. Which one of you can I scapegoat?

WCS

One of the lawyers. They’re used to being blamed for everything. And they probably deserve it.

Unsurprised

This is fair.

rockingdog

Yay Alec Baldwin!!?
NFL Honors opening remarks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWfhmGYC2iQ

Senor Weaselo

I see the Ice Giants are taking the same approach as two days ago.

rockingdog

Yo… shout out to Malcolm Jenkins for connecting with this Songster guy. Thats cool!

Just got done with my 3rd Computer Design Class. Last week we made some HTML files and linked them together to get a webpage with links. Tonights lecture had us get into the basics of CSS styles. Gotta figure out how to CSS format those HTML files I made last week…. horrrray learning!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are there any prop bets about a player pulling a Eugene Robinson next week?

WCS

Gronk’s at 1-2 odds.

Unsurprised

Holy shit. This is beautiful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fresh sheets didn’t let Aaron Hernandez down either.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks! Now where did my soul go…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Unsurprised

What soul?

Unsurprised

Eh.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I spent 3+ hours with my mother in Sam’s Club today. Holy fuckballz.
I’ve earned meself a good drunkenness. Time to get started.

Gratliff

…How do you shop in a Sam’s Club for 3 hours?

theeWeeBabySeamus

My thoughts exactly.
More or less…..My mom is very slow and talks a lot.

Gratliff

I mean, just logistically, I have trouble imagining it. Everything at Sam’s Club weighs 20-60 pounds. Did you guys bring the oxen?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. I guess I was the ox.
But the delay, in addition to her slowness in movement, was her explaining to me everything she was or was not going to buy.

HOLY FUCK MOM I DON’T FUCKING CARE JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT SO WE CAN GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!! I DON’T NEED THE REASONS WHY!!!!!!!!

Gratliff

“Here, we have 4 boxes of Cap’n Crunch, wrapped together. We need it because it costs as much as only 3.75 boxes of Cap’n Crunch, and that’s just good economics. *sincere nod*”

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. But you’re forgetting the 10 minute soliloquy debate between the Cap’n Crunch and the Froot Loops.

If there had been a value pack of ice picks, I’d have put out both of my eyes, and then pithed myself.

Wakezilla

Were 2 of those hours dedicated to deciding between buying ketchup or katsup?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bridgitte Neilsen finally caught up to him, eh?

Sharkbait

10:30 ice giants game. Sports on the west coast is the best. West coast sports on the east coast sucks.

LemonJello

Welp. That’s exhausted my patience and interest for the sprotsball tonight.

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Later, Taters!

Gratliff

The Tic Tac Toe, it is not good

Unsurprised

Noooooo

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makeitsnowondem

Speaking of upstart leagues, two of the three all-Korean teams (which are, coincidentally or not, considered the three best teams) in the Overwatch League lost tonight.

Sent from Horatio Cornblower’s locker

Gratliff

I always feel like playing Overwatch, but I never feel like dealing with the people that have taken over the competitive side

makeitsnowondem

They’re bad, but I have a lot of fun just playing Mystery Heroes for a couple of hours at a time.

Gratliff

I think the last time I spent any real time in it was in the deathmatch mode trolling people with Doomfist. I miss Lucio trolling, though. Really, most of what I do is just trolling, because I am a bad. Once Lucio ball comes back, I’ll be locked in again, I’m sure.

makeitsnowondem

Lucioball is extremely my shit. I was determined to get into Diamond as soon as I found out about ranked Lucioball, and it ruined my life, but I did it.

Senor Weaselo

Did they use more gun?
/Wait, that’s TF2
//Those were a good 3 months I played TF2!
///I mained Medic because I’m a lousy shot

Gratliff

Before I could afford things, I apparently played several hundred hours of TF2. Demoknight trolling was my absolute shit, but also, it was just very enjoyable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I

makeitsnowondem

I mained Engineer because I’m an even worse shot.

LemonJello

This skills thing would be better if Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano were doing the play-by-play.

Gratliff

I remember liking the skills competition thing when I was young. Is it worse now or is it just age?

LemonJello

It’s worse.

WCS

Timothy Olyphant is in a commercial for Taco Bell.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So how many people here have seen The Animatrix?

ballsofsteelandfury

Was that nominated for an AVN?

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re thinking of the one with the sheep in it.
Go sit in the corner.

Unsurprised

Do Android Sexbots Dream of Electric Sheepfucking?

Unsurprised

That should be Do Welshdroids Dream of Electric Sheep?

SonOfSpam

The Baaanimatrix.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Gratliff

Actually really liked that anthology style, same with Halo Legends.

makeitsnowondem

I’ve seen some of it. That’s a thing, right? It was a bunch of shorts?

Senor Weaselo

This is going to have kickers playing H-O-R-S-E, right?

herodotus450

Instead of uprights it should be a giant moving billboard of trumps face and you have to kick the ball through his mouth to get as many points as communication director’s hes fired.

ballsofsteelandfury

W-H-O-R-E-S

LemonJello

“They’re already paid for, right?”
-W. Sapp

herodotus450

[checks hockey score]
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WCS

Ice Vikings?

herodotus450

Det-Chi. 3-0 after 10 minutes. and it’s not gotten better.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So…apparently Trump tried to fire Mueller in June?

Sharkbait

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you

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rockingdog

Bahahaha!

theeWeeBabySeamus

The cat in this video is high as fuck I think….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs3xXlXSOKk

Redshirt

(sniff) “Whatever. That performance wasn’t emotionally moving at all. Please excuse me for a moment.”

(runs out crying)

Unsurprised

There’s a non-zero chance XFL 2 will be whites-only.

LemonJello

That’d be the grittiest league in all the land!

Lily Lily!

Unsurprised

Fuck the pigs.

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Sharkbait

Good Lord that XFL video is awful

Redshirt

Watching MVP on CBS. Suddenly Vince bringing back the XFL makes perfect sense.

Redshirt

Trump’s attorney when he said he’ll testify to Robert Mueller under oath:
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Unsurprised

He’s going to make Donald Sterling’s deposition look like a goddamn masterpiece of intelligence and wit.

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Unsurprised

She seems nice.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m in awe of “the power”.

‘Dem shorts ain’t bad neither.

Sharkbait

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LemonJello

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Senor Weaselo

The Underpants Gnomes just showed their business plan.
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Unsurprised

It still makes more sense than any tech startup business plan.

litre_cola

How the fuck you doin boys?

LemonJello

Hanging on for the weekend.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have rewatched that series six times. Still cracks me the fuck up.

Redshirt

I’ll give McMahon credit. Its seems like he’s thought this through and is trying to do XFL Deux right. Also, if he can allow for better officiating and maybe a twist (the rosters only have 40 players – maybe it will be 9 on 9) it could work.. The trick is to start slow and establish yourself. They did the opposite and burned the hell out.

On the other hand, if he wanted to throw away $100,000,000, I would be more than glad to take that off his hands.

herodotus450

I’ll give McMahon credit.

Narrator voice: Ima stop you right therr

Senor Weaselo

Think about what the DFO Clubhouse could have with $100 million!
/Not just drugs, booze, and porn, A SHIT-TON of drugs, booze and porn!

Unsurprised
theeWeeBabySeamus

This guy gets it.

Senor Weaselo

Are we not watching “Most Valuable Performer” with all the NFL players doing… something?

LemonJello

“No.”
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Redshirt

Patriots talent: Stupid Referee Tricks.

WCS

Simpsons marathon featuring Mrs. Krabappel!

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RIP Marcia Wallace

Unsurprised

https://gfycat.com/gifs/search/Jennifer's+Body+Megan+Fox+Hot

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Stupid gfycat’s native search hides NSFW results and pretty much does everything to conceal all the porn gifs, but anyway, this is still a good set of search results. https://gfycat.com/gifs/search/HorrorMovieNudes

Unsurprised

One of the HMN gifs is apparently Amy Adams. https://gfycat.com/ZestyLikelyEuropeanpolecat
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LemonJello

So, we’re all just waiting for the Pro Bowl Skills Showdown tonight, right?

/I’ll show myself out
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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO.

Gratliff

Love Malcolm Jenkins. The Super Bowl this year is basically the SJWs of the NFL vs. the Pepes of the NFL. This will end so badly and with so many tears.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah he’s swaying me toward the Iggles. But I’m still leaning meteor.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ooooh, Jennifer’s Body is on in 10 minutes.
Megan Fox AND Amanda Seyfried.

/looks for lube

Redshirt

Fox, yeah. Seyfried, I can’t get past her eyes. Its like they were photoshopped onto her face.

Unsurprised

Inverted.

Redshirt

I’m a Bengals fan. I’m a Republican.

I thought we’ve established I make poor life choices.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….that was funny.

Unsurprised

It’s a cultural failure (I just listened to an old CTH ripping apart Hillbilly Elegy).

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

The original gif/video is YUUUUUUUGE

https://gfycat.com/RequiredDistortedDwarfmongoose
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, good for them and their two dollar menu.
When my ship was in Japan for an extended upkeep, several of my shipmates and I rented a van from Services and headed for Mt. Fuji. The traffic once you got near the mountain was horrible, and there were plenty of roadside vendors selling all kinds of foodstuffs to folks stuck in the traffic jam. One guy bought a hot dog, and found that the normal sized bun contained a hot dog about 1/2″ in diameter and 3″ long. I’ve still got a photo of it somewhere. This is what I am envisioning for two dollars at that stadium.
*insert obligatory joke about Trump’s dick size below*

Viva La Tabula Raza

Does anybody remember anything about the XFL besides that guy’s name?

ballsofsteelandfury

Twas a glorious league where there was no coin flip but instead a scramble for a loose ball, the cheerleaders were encouraged to perform as if they were getting tipped, and the LA Xtreme beat the shit out of the San Francisco team in the Million Dollar Game.

WCS

Tommy Maddox was the league MVP, and turned it into a three-year starting jorb with the Stillers.

Also, the MVP of the championship game was the kicker.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Admittedly, I’m biased here. But maybe Songster could have turned around and re-gifted said tickets to the family of the kid he killed? Hollow gesture, perhaps? Yes, probably.

And obviously I don’t know the particulars of the case, and therefore I’m not saying he necessarily should have spent life behind bars. But he did apparently kill a guy and wasn’t wrongly convicted per se.

Just saying that this sends a bad message IMHO.

But as I said, I am biased so please ignore me.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It will no doubt be reported in right-wing-world that the guy took and scalped the tix so he could buy some more crack.

herodotus450

Plus he’s got all that money from the Songster IPO why doesn’t he just buy his own tickets?

Gratliff

It lines up with what Jenkins has been doing off the field for the past year. It’s a guy who went to jail when he was 15 (FIFTEEN) for killing another gang member in a fight. He reformed, and spent his time in jail getting a college education, creating a program to help reconnect kids and their fathers who’d served time, and helped families of murderers and the families of their victims come together and work towards closure. He did all that with no expectation of being released. It’s basically exactly what people want to happen to people who go to prison, but you wouldn’t know it based on the general reaction to it, which has been your standard revenge bullshit. I mean, if there’s no true chance for redemption for a mistake at 15, why are we even bothering? I’m indirectly involved with juvenile homes at work, and I see the ages and the repeat offenders, and it wrecks me knowing what it likely means for so many of them. I can’t even imagine going in at that age with literally zero chance of ever being free again, and getting my shit together to that point.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Like I said, I’m biased.

Having a sociopathic brother serving double life, who has created and ruined multiple lives I’m now in charge of will do that.

Like I said, I’m not saying the guy deserves to spend the rest of his days behind bars. But gifting him superb owl tix and publicly basking in its glory might be a bit painful for the family of the kid he killed.

Don’t talk to me about revenge bullshit please.

Senor Weaselo

“Stick to sports” reference, drink?

WCS

I think that’s a “chug.”

WCS
Viva La Tabula Raza

Any black guys with Muslim-sounding names will be required to use a nom de guerre instead, like that He Hate Me guy in the first go-round.

Senor Weaselo

But not too much guerre in the nom.