Your Tuesday “There’s No Early Kontent Scheduled So I’m Doing This” Daytime Open Thread

The post-season hangover, both literal and figurative, continues.

This post is not meant to be “good”, per se.  No Pulitzer nominees are in danger, let’s say it that way.  But as we shift to the off-season, we might need to talk about it.

P*ts fans specifically, I know you’re disappointed.  But get over it.  Nobody likes you already, and whining about finally NOT getting the outcome you didn’t deserve to begin with only makes you look like assholes.  Well, bigger assholes than you already are.  Everything is relative.

Just try to remember and appreciate this from last year when Atlanta basically bungled it to you…

And don’t get me started on Atlanta.  Wm. Tecumseh Sherman might have been right.

INORITE?????????????????????

Sorry but….Civil War humour is the bestest humour.

But yes, this is…. Therapy.  For all of us.

So here I am.  I’m your therapist.  Talk to me.

(TheRapist)

Shut up assholes….that’s an old joke.  Benny Hill was doing that shit when I was a kid.  Speaking of Benny Hill…

♫ Gus the gardener is gone now…

And you went with him too…

The fungus here reminds me of…

The fun Gus is having with you. ♫

OH COME ON THAT’S FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!

Meh, screw you guys.

Fine, I guess I’ll just start drinking early today.

OK fine then.  I’ll be passed out soon with any luck anyway.  But you can talk here until Blaxabbath  gets his ass in gear and decides to put up the Superb Owl LII version of Quotables Submissions a little later I guess.  It’s the last one foar the season, so get your funny revved up and make it count you jerks.

Until then, say whatever you want here.  Or I’ll kill ya.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Unsurprised

Philly Special t-shirt: https://phillyspecial.net/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So every time I hear a song by Kasabian I end up saying to myself “huh, this isn’t as bad as I was expecting.” I don’t know why I think I hate Kasabian, but I guess I don’t.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agVpq_XXRmU

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think Lenny knows how I feel about hearing from him.

rockingdog

Afternoon open thread? OK!

Now that football is over, time for NHL action! Here is a nice preview…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTjqy1fsHaM

Sharkbait

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Request: suggestions for the name of the DFO deity that deals with marijuana-related situations.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Josh Gordon

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Trying to think of some way to work “Jah” into this.

Jah’shgordon?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He be a righteous deity.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ganjash Gordon

Sharkbait

This is the one.

Dick E. Phuck

Dankshem

King Hippo

a/s/l??

– Jefferson Beauregard S., Meconium, AL

LemonJello

Herb. (hard H or soft H at your discretion)

ArmedandHammered

Bongjah

ArmedandHammered

With his son the reggae warrior demi-god Spliffartacus who will lead us out of slavery to the evil DEA and head villain Jeff Sessions.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Perhaps he can be a deity along the lines of “He of Many Names”, much like weed itself.

Petronel

Late to the party, but…REEFLOR?

(Also useful for scuba and home-reno situations.)

LemonJello

This comment is worthless without pictures (see above).

King Hippo

ooooohhhhhh, the lady from the commercials!

LemonJello

I find this acceptable.

Wakezilla

She’s fine. I still miss Molly Qerim.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bluto is now coach in Detroit. He was 16 the last time the Lions won a playoff game. The coach who won that game has been out of football for 20 years. The quarterback who won that game now probably has CTE and tried to kill himself three years ago.

The Aristocrats.

Beerguyrob

You forgot to add how they drive away Hall of Fame talent with their management frugality & ineptitude.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Plus, he had a girl’s name! I am not going to be a mommy to you pussies like he was.” – Greg Schiano, introducing himself to the Patriots defenders

King Hippo

He really does look like Bluto. Maybe a bit fatter.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I still follow the happenings of the Opie and Anthony Show despite it not being on air for three and a half years.

So this past weekend, OJ’s current lawyer asked Anthony to take down a Tweet about OJ for reasons. Anthony said no, but was a cock about it, so the lawyer spent the whole weekend tweeting shit to Anthony about how he’s an unstable, racist alcoholic who wishes he was Howard Stern.

I enjoyed. The Pests are turning on their masters.

King Hippo

Wait…so Opie and Anthony are teh real killers?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Their careers are like Nicole and Ron.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know people like to dog on reddit for being a cesspool (and they’re not wrong) but sometimes jokes like this one emerge from the swamp:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/7vn244/gronkowskis_home_robbed_multiple_safes_and/dttjb0b/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=front&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=nfl

Wakezilla

Which joke? There’s a few good ones

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Robbed Gronkowski”

King Hippo

Donks’ site looks ahead at odds to win Superb Owl 53:

https://www.milehighreport.com/2018/2/5/16976208/super-bowl-53-odds-denver-broncos

I like Chefs at 33:1 (with Mahomes and cap space, they dangerous), Jaguras at 28:1, and Bearistocrats! at 100:1.

Unsurprised

Obligatory “Hot Donks Fan” pics. Spoiler for size, not content.

Spoiler

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Video of her showing off the ring: https://gfycat.com/PersonalSerpentineIchneumonfly

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Rex Ryan shan’t kiss Belichick’s rings, but he would gladly give hers a peck.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is that Alex Smith trade really going to happen? Or is there still time for the [*Redacted] s to realize how insanely badly they are getting fleeced and pull out?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Getting ‘fleeced’ and pulling out is what we call a Friday night in North Dakota.”

– Carson Wentz

King Hippo

h/t, George Carlin:

“Why do cowboys fuck sheep by the edge of a cliff?”

A: So the sheep will push baaaaack!

nomonkeyfun

Wow,one set of Native Americans fleecing another. They really are assimilating into white culture.

Game Time Decision

“Pull out?”
-Philip Rivers

King Hippo

spilling your seed displeases the LORD, cockwallet!!

nomonkeyfun

I guess they limit the odds to 100:1, the Tittytruthers are bad, but to have the same odds as Cleveland, a team that has gone 4-44 over their last three seasons. And Hue coming back as HC, Hue “9-39” Jackson, their head coach.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think 1/31 needs to be forever memorialized in the history books as “Hue Jackson Day”.

blaxabbath

Hue Jackson Day II, just so YOU know, will be 20/31.

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Sharkbait

So who else is avoiding work?

LemonJello

As much as I can.

King Hippo

My kid and I are both sick…so, yes.

I went to bed at 7p (my cat was being super cuddly in addition to cold meds doing they thing). Pretty happy I didn’t have to sweat out the endings of both my successful moneyline bets (‘Cuse, West By God Virginia). Cleared just short of $1,000, made up for Superb Owl carnage (FOAR humanity) and then some.

THANKS GAMBLOR, all glory and praise be unto thee!

King Hippo

no guts, no gloree

/at least I split the bet, $220 on Cuse, $330 on WVU (though Cuse won MOAR easily)

//was betting against ‘Ville, really

///just like I’m betting against ND and Butler tonight

King Hippo

I was refreshing the page until I got MLs instead of just point spreads.

/Fuck you, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

Game Time Decision

always. I have a Masters in “looking busy but not doing a damn thing”

King Hippo

Carry a clipboard and furrow your blow slightly?

Game Time Decision

of course. While wearing the white helmet too
/ IT guy, working from home

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I did so little work yesterday that Nate Sudfeld was jealous.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That and my probation officer” – Ryan Leaf

blaxabbath

I had to do a rush of crap when I got in. Now I need to get quotables set up for 1p.

Unsurprised

Yoooooooo

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