Your “Where My Bitches At?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzNRpvP2ZqQ

NFL News:

  • Set your PVRs for Thursday, August 2nd – Ravens-Bears is your 2018 Hall of Fame game
    • I’m guessing so Urlacher & Stabby can get all weepy at the game they love so much.
  • Mike Shula is leaving the Panthers for the Giants to be the offensive coordinator.
    • This has got minds working that the Giants may draft a QB that can be tutored to take over from Eli.
  • Not content to play in Canada, Johnny Manziel is sniffing around teams needing a QB and trying to finagle a tryout.
    • He claims to be receiving treatment for a bipolar disorder.

Night 2/2 of the Westminster Dog Show is tonight. (8:00PM – FS1 {USA} / NatGeo {Canada}.)

Last night’s winners were the

  • Hound: Borzoi
  • Toy: Pug
  • Non-Sporting: Bichons Frise
  • Herding: Border Collie

The order of events tonight are scheduled to be:

  • Sporting
  • Working
  • Terriers

  • Best In Show

Naturally, I’m pulling for the Bernese Mountain Dog, as I have owned or own four in my adult lifetime.

Max & Bruin
Lambeau & Riga

Of course, a Bernese has never won Westminster, and I don’t expect that to change tonight based on the tight-asses who were judging last night. So, once the Berners are discriminated against again eliminated, I will throw my support behind litre_cola & Oxipug and root for Biggie.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics:
    • NBCSN
      • 7:00: Figure Skating: Pairs short-program
      • 10:00: Hockey (Women’s Group B): Sweden vs. Switzerland
    • NBC: 8:00 – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Snowboarding
      • Pairs short; women’s slalom: run 2 medal final; men’s half-pipe medal final
    • CBC: 8:00 – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Snowboarding
      • Pairs short; women’s slalom: run 2 medal final; men’s half-pipe medal final
    • TSN:
      • Pairs short (uninterrupted)
    • Sportsnet:
      • 7:00PM | Men’s curling; Women’s hockey
        • Canada vs. Italy (curling)
        • Sweden vs. Switzerland, then Korea vs. Japan
  • Men’s hockey starts at 7:10AM ET
    • Slovakia vs. “Russia” – Sportsnet
    • Slovenia vs. USA – NBCSN / TSN

Other sports:

  • NHL:
    • no national broadcasts.
      • FUCK YOU, GARY BETTMAN!
  • NBA:
    • Heat at Raptors – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Cavaliers at Thunder – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Spurs at Nuggets – 10:30PM | TNT
  • NCAA:
    • Oklahoma at Texas Tech – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Kansas at Iowa State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Michigan State at Minnesota – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Virginia at Miami – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Thanks to Seamus for covering the Open Thread last night. I spent the three-day weekend enjoying some beers & barbecuing. Chicken on Saturday + Ribs on Sunday = Chicken & Ribs on Monday. THAT’S GOOD EATIN’!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

Talk shit, get hit.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see tonight, just like every night, you all can’t stop talking about bitches.

Mr. Ayo

Your mom is just that alluring.

SonOfSpam

Also, Michael Cohen, Dickbag-in-Chief’s lawyer, just claimed he paid Stormy the Porny $130k out of his personal account because…reasons? Because out of the goodness of his heart. That is tremendous.

WCS

The volumes written about this administration in the decades to come will surpass anything from the Andrew Johnson/Harding/Lyndon Johnson/Nixon/Clinton combined.

SonOfSpam

Dude, seriously. And there will be movies, and plays, and pornos, and whatnot.

Unsurprised

You can’t have negative retrospectives if you start the apocalypse.

SonOfSpam

Just gonna assume the Newfoundland won. Because my Newf mix won’t leave me alone.

Mutts are the real winners. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

Brick Meathook

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Fronkenshteen

Who won?!?!

WCS

The cat.

Mr. Ayo

USA. Again.

SonOfSpam

Shaun White

Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

Who’s a good boy?!?!?

Romonobyl

The crowd is not impressed.

litre_cola

Burn that place to the ground.

Col. Duke LaCross

Such bullshit!

Romonobyl

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!!!!!

litre_cola

Yep you called that one.

Romonobyl

Total bullshit. Fucking touchdown Seahawks.

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

Col. Duke LaCross

This lady is a bigger attention whore than Gene Steratore.

Col. Duke LaCross

Bichons are a pain in the ass.

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

When Dustin Diamond shows up on the visual clue round of pub trivia, it’s time to get the fuck out of there.

litre_cola

Saved by the bell or his porno?

Romonobyl

You could have stopped at “when Dustin Diamond shows up”.

Romonobyl

Border Collie does have a really cute face.

Col. Duke LaCross

LOOKATTHEPUG!

Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

Gravity.
It’s not just a good idea…it’s the law!

Romonobyl

I love how Pupper’s expression changes when the G’s kick in.

Brick Meathook

On our next episode: How to clean dog shit out of an airplane

litre_cola

“I fucking hate those dogs” – Mrs cola

Romonobyl

PUG PUG PUG PUG PUG!!!!!!

litre_cola

My wife cant believe this ridiculous breed is in the running. I had Oxipug before her.

Romonobyl

Seems to be the crowd favorite.

Unsurprised

I love it when they dispose with any pretense to the swimsuits.

h

ttps://pixxxels.org/image/6lkzddbl1/

Romonobyl

I gots no juice here, but I call that postable.

ballsofsteelandfury

Agreed

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Unsurprised

Cool.

Romonobyl

Older female judge = pocket dog.

litre_cola

Pocket dawgs are delicious

ballsofsteelandfury

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litre_cola

I just lasted 2 whistles on that game

litre_cola

That woman looks like a supreme bitch

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn; what porn are you watching NOW?

Col. Duke LaCross

A real battleaxe.

Unsurprised

Obligatory Paige Spiranac gallery post:

`https://pixhost.org/gallery/EPQJB

Romonobyl

I’d sure like to put a hole in that one!!!!

Christ I really reached for it that time.

Unsurprised

Show her your (n-)Wood and have her play with the the shaft and really appreciate the head.

Romonobyl

She’ll only get teed off.

OK I’m done now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Disgusting fat fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m having trouble not laughing at that still.

Unsurprised

YARRRRRRR, MATEY!

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Unsurprised

Nice ass, though.

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Romonobyl

The most unusual part is that her right foot is real. Go figure!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So it’s cool to bust on amputees now?

Unsurprised

Now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not unexpected.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Whomever groomed that Westie needs to be shot in the head.
Just saying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The first one is hilarious.

Unsurprised

Imagine your job being to blur out Kate Upton’s tits so they could post this video online.

Unsurprised

Not content to play in Canada, Johnny Manziel is sniffing around teams needing a QB and trying to finagle a tryout.

Further evidence that the owners the NFL staff and team front offices can all eat shit and die if JFF even gets a fucking tryout before Kaepernick.

SonOfSpam

Boy howdy, this times a billion.

Romonobyl

At least we gave him a snazzy middle name. I got stuck with fucking Richard.

Unsurprised

Fucking Richard is a pretty good one.

Brick Meathook

If Shaun White was a Grumman Hellcat his fuel and oil systems would probably look like this:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

Don’t forget about the big-tittied hydraulics!

Romonobyl

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Time to take a nap, then wake up later and write some mediocre (at best) shit.
Fuck the world. More or less.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1Jt35iYBX4

Romonobyl

Thursday night already?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell man, I dunno. Is it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

No one does a better job than Lana at playing a Florida-born, Latvia-raised, Russian-fluent FSU student with a Florida accent speaking Russian in a terrible Russian accent while claiming to actually be Bulgarian. It’s a very niche skillset, really.

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rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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montythisseemsstrangetome

I don’t judge if you wanna make prostitution legal or illegal but countries WITHOUT DATA? What kind of animals don’t have data?

ballsofsteelandfury

Um, Canada has some ‘splaining to do…

theeWeeBabySeamus

France too, btw.

SonOfSpam

I think people just ain’t payin for hairy pits.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I SHAVED MINE DAMMIT.

SonOfSpam

Too cold to expose balls?

ballsofsteelandfury

I agree with this statement

Romonobyl

So how can selling sex be legal, but not buying it?

ballsofsteelandfury

EXACTLY!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Give it some thought, like consequences and what not….. come back later.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s essentially illegal. They’re just saying they’re going to prosecute the customers, not the prostitutes. It’s a copout. Just make the whole thing illegal and still only prosecute customers. Don’t make a pretense of making it legal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well at least you gave it a small amount of thought before arriving at a conclusion.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is there another one?

Besides making it legal?

Brick Meathook

Shaun White is amazing!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Same number as ACDC Hell……. never mind.

SonOfSpam

Heh, the Jeopardy dork (redundant) is talking about going rim-to-rim at the Grand Canyon.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was at the Grand Canyon a coupla years ago.
Sadly nobody rimmed me. Not even the cool German chick in the room next door.

I woulda let her, but…meh.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, Germans are weird about licking butthole. The women, anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which porn are you watch now?

SonOfSpam

No I was talking about foreign exch…I mean, right, movies.

SonOfSpam

Damn, Shaun White is a badass. Almost as badass as that Giant Schnauzer.

Seriously, that Shaun White kid is going places.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So is that Giant Schnauzer.
Oy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

That was pretty amazing.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, clutch as hell. The Japanese kid was pretty much perfect, and White just went bigger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, he IS Asian.

*Oh no he din’t.

SonOfSpam

I would’ve gone with “He navigated the course without crashing???”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With a small dick? That’s just piling on (which is German).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh