Your “Everything’s Falling Into Place” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The suffering continues for Josh Gordon, as he has been ruled an exclusive rights free agent
    • Meaning that he doesn’t qualify for UFA status until after the 2020 season.
      • Meaning that the missed two years froze his eligibility, and that Cleveland gets to keep him on a lower paycheque.
  • Adam Vinatieri is coming back for one more season.
    • He signed a one-year deal with the Colts.
      • It’ll be his 23rd season.
  • To guilt attract more rookies to attend the draft, the league announced players will be able to expand their list of invitees.
    • Starting this year, they’ll be able to invite their high school coach to attend
  • Alshon Jeffrey’s season-long torn rotator cuff will take at least six months to heal.
    • The timeline is to be ready for Week-1.

I’ve got nothing, so here’s some Bowie.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics:
    • NBCSN | 7:00PM – ladies’ figure skating final (non-medal contenders)
    • NBC | 8:00PM – ladies’ figure skating final; plus short track speedskating finals (men’s 500m and 5000m relay; women’s 1000m).
    • CBC
      • 7:00PM – Women’s ski-cross, short track speedskating finals (men’s 500m and 5000m relay; women’s 1000m).
      • 7:00AM – Men’s hockey semifinal – Canada vs. Germany
    • TSN
      • 8:00PM – ladies’ figure skating final
      • 11:00PM – Men’s hockey semifinal – Czech Rep. vs. OAR
    • Sportsnet | 10:15PM – Men’s curling (bronze medal) – CAN vs SUI

  • NHL:
    • Blue Jackets at Flyers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Avs at Oilers – 9:00PM | Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • Wizards at Cavaliers – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Clippers at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN2
  • NCAA:
    • Connecticut at Cincinnati – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Purdue at Illinois – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Wisconsin at Northwestern – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona at Oregon State – 9:00PM | FS1
    • Gonzaga at San Diego – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • UCLA at Utah – 9:00PM | ESPN

While we were sleeping, the US men beat the Canadian men in curling to go to the Gold medal final. WILL THE SHAME NEVER END?!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nite gents.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Tol’ ya ya shouldna had that burrito.

Col. Duke LaCross

Medvedeva.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No. the US is fine……..

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/would still do her
//don’t have a soul anyway so joke’s on her

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

Spewey!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it wrong that I’m annoyed by the fact that the documentary I’m watching is referring to the 7th planet as “Urahness” instead of “Your Anus”?

And don’t get me started on fucking over Pluto.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

DID YOU NOT HEAR ME EARLIER THAT I HAVE A HOT TEENAGE BLONDE DANCER IN MY HOUSE????? FUCK DUDE, NOW I GOTTA MASTURBATE.

Thanks you asshole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Meanwhile, on WVU’s campus…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Holy shit! The 4th leg skier for Belarus just hit 5 targets with 5 shots. Terrifying!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is having four legs a sign of heavy PED use?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That’s how World War I started.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

*pushes glasses up*it’s really not

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO’ing at Inhuman dookie cannon.

NOW THAT’S COMEDY, DAMMIT.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Say what you will, but he’s got good aim.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Guy needs a life.

*From someone who does the same shit only with conversations with their dog.

Fronkenshteen

What am I watching here? It’s a huge cross country skiing relay race punctuated by target rifle shooting, which seems really fucking hard to after you’ve been cross country skiing. Is it the biathlon? The tee-vee won’t say.

WCS

Yes, biathlon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

We were hanging tough for awhile there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Full Disclosure: the hot teenage blonde dancer girl is the daughter of a family friend. Sweet girl. Sincerely.

And no, even I’m not that big of a monster.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it is certainly a vary fortunate frame in timing that you have already installed your hidden camera surveillance system.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shhhhhh man…be cool.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Same price as before? $20/CD?

theeWeeBabySeamus

You know our arrangement. I send you underage porn, you send me legal weed.

Jeebus.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why hello FBI…yes, that was a joke.
As far as you know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

JOOOOKING! PARODY! HAHAHA!

-Roy Moore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you Toys R Us!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Gratliff

Man, fuck SB nation

blaxabbath

Its a tough gig.

Esp with you jerks all generating content FOR FREE.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Soooooo….

Who has a hot teenage blonde dancer staying with them tonight? Oh just me then?

Sucks for the rest of you I guess.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Stay out of jail!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m on my best behaviour.

Which might mean….send bail money.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

If Arizona basketball got the death penalty I wouldn’t like it….but I’d understand.

Fronkenshteen

Caps give up another lead late in the 3rd.

Aaaaand give up the game winner with :18 to go. I love Washington sports.

Gratliff

Even I didn’t see that one coming. Not even a Bettman point.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nice hat.

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Gratliff

Philly Sports are a combined 13-1 since the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Waiting for that other shoe to drop. Has a baseball team ever lost all their games? Phillies seem like just the kind of team to do it.

Senor Weaselo

”We’ll just see about that.” -2018 Marlins
/Even though they do have some good players left… okay, a good right side of the infield… okay, Justin Bour since they’re trying to trade Castro

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Eye bleach!

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Gratliff

Fek’s Twitter is much less futanari-heavy than I initially feared, but he still sneaks some horrific shit in to my timeline from time to time.

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https://twitter.com/41Strange/status/966842878126448640

rockingdog
rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

the reply from Frank Stanton @Frank66Stanton is fucking hilarious.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I never quite understood why they got rid of the glow puck, especially in The Before Times of 480i resolution. But they should bring something like it back, like how they can track baseball pitches and show the path of a pitch.

Gratliff

Giroux on some Jedi bullshit going 16-3 on faceoffs in that win.

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

Petr Mrazek is really good and Vegas could have had him in this past year’s expansion draft.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Instead they took a 26 year old rookie 4th line center.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Also, that makes one win for Mrazek with Philly; only 4-10 more to go.

Gratliff

To be fair, though, Vegas can’t really complain about this year’s results. Gonna be hilarious when Flower goes away, though.

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

Gratliff

Noted Bag of Shit, Brandon Dubinsky, intentionally goes knee-on-knee on Giroux.

Gratliff

And Flyera immediately score. Fuck Brandon Dubinsky.

Gratliff

Panarin is shockingly fast for a 57 year old

SonOfSpam

YAY WALTON’S DOING THE UCLA GAME ON ESPN!!!

rockingdog
rockingdog

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Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

Walton was doing some generic Pac-12 game a couple of years ago and he actually woke me up mid doze with the stuff he was saying.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found another funny:

[first day on SWAT team]

SWAT #1: The target is inside.
SWAT #2: Let’s break down the door.
ME: I got this… [knocks] “GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!”

Gratliff

I know we like to make fun of the Capitals here for seeking out failure, and they really do deserve it, but we need to devote more time for the horrific, unwatchable plummet that is the New York Rangers’ season since New Year’s Day. This is how a real team tanks:

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Senor Weaselo

Thank goodness I had rehearsal tonight!

rockingdog
rockingdog

yea sports!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Actual-Ginger said fuck that noise.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Looks like my basement (lol j/k one’s a blonde)

Romonobyl

Now she knows how Chewbacca felt.

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Romonobyl

Didn’t look like a thumbnail before…

litre_cola

Trim the leaves, makes the branch look bigger.

Romonobyl

So apparently Diet Coke’s new advertising tagline is “life is short”.
I guess we should thank them for their contribution.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I sneaked out of work a little early to catch most of the US-Canada rebroadcast.

That was some…”interesting” officiating. Both goalies were simply amazing and my god, that game winning shot was a thing of beauty.

On the family front, my sister decided to double down on the insanity because my mother called me, she is on her first fucking vacation since her childhood, to ask me to please call my sister and apologize.

I just told my mother not to worry about it and enjoy her vacation. Part of me almost wants to know how my sister’s brain fucking works and the rational part of me just wants a beer.

SonOfSpam

You forgot the big Anteaters/Gauchos game for control of the Big West (which doesn’t matter at all, one bid league, etc).

Ok, so it’s not big. (Not the first time I’ve said that)

King Hippo

What is the betting angle??

King Hippo

Line is Irvine -2.5. All I know is the Gauchos always fucked NC State’s shit up (under V) whenever we played them as our “stopover” fixture on the way to Hawaii for a holiday tourney.

SonOfSpam

I have no opinion on this game betting-wise. Sorry (or better yet, you’re welcome).

rockingdog
rockingdog

Zot Zot bitches!!!!!!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Heeheehee, is there anything more delightful than watching this second stage of the explosion that is going on in Montreal right now?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hmm.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Mmmm … Nope. Can’t think of anything.

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scotchnaut

Why do girls show off their magnificent bums to guys that they’d never bang in a million years? smgdh…

King Hippo

Purdue is a bunch of worthless arseholes that want Hippo ded

King Hippo

Let’s get this 12-pt lead to 20, and not George Mason/West By God Virginia it up, Boilers…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Jesus Christ. Why are they still fucking over Josh Gordon?

King Hippo

teh childrens ,, obvs

scotchnaut

“Because he’s an easy target?”

-The Ghost of Chris Kyle

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck Chris Kyle.

scotchnaut

I’ma let you go first.

/runs away

King Hippo

I hear he likes it with teeth ,, smgdh

/also better not forget to thank him for his service obvs

scotchnaut

‘Mericans that kill people in unjustified wars are the true heroes. Ppl remember that.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Also people who claim to have sniped looters from on top of the Super Dome.

Man, Chris Kyle was a giant piece of shit and it’s good that he’s dead.

King Hippo

Starting to feel better about my ginormous Purdue -8 tilt bet. If nothing else, them fuckers can get it on the glass. When ILL stops shooting +50%, they’ll get they ass whooped.

King Hippo

When they do the medal count, why aren’t the standings weighted? 3 fer gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze?

scotchnaut

TBH, I think that’s an American construct that rewards individual achievement (I’m Number One!) over team accomplishments.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

You know, Donald Trump has a forty year documented history of being an idiot, but I’m starting to suspect he might also be mentally retarded. That would really explain a lot of things.

scotchnaut

Retarded? No.

Living Within A Bubble Of His Own Making: Yes.

King Hippo

“Yeah, let us not lose sight of the plight of the real retardeds.

– Sam D., Watts, CA

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“That sounds nothing like me. Did you know we sold out every game last year?!”

— Dean Spanos

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He’s almost definitely suffering from dementia.

King Hippo

Also the tallest sufferer of Napoleon Syndrome I’ve ever run into (figuratively)

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny:

the funniest part of trumps plan to arm teachers is he keeps specifically mentioning coaches, who in his mind are the troops of teachers.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

He was heavily influenced by his badminton coach at Wharton.

King Hippo

on FS1, you can watch Gene Keady pick his nose!

scotchnaut

“I can match that old prick booger for booger!”

-Jim Boeheim

King Hippo

SCARY THOUGHT – Imagine if Boeheim coached in an arid climate, say, AZ or UT. Imagine how he’d be digging for gold up to his elbow every single second…

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m really disappointed the Russian Curling ladies haven’t won more games. I guess they’ll just have to settle for being gorgeous…