DFO University – Sex 103 – Threesomes

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

OK class…settle down.

Now, I’m very painfully aware that between TGISF, and some of my other forays across the lines of questionable taste, that most if not all of you view me as the resident pervert of DFO.  Some might even say (and some even have  said) that I am ….  The Pimp Of DFO

And I suppose there probably is some truth to this, if I’m being honest.  So how the hell I let myself get talked into teaching this class, I have no idea.

But I do intend to try to keep this as classy as possible, given the subject matter.  Not to mention the inherent “giggle factor”.

SETTLE DOWN BACK THERE BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY !!!!  I’ll give you detention in a heartbeat, buddy.

And leave Ms. Spears alone.

First The Academics of It

With three people involved, there are only four possible combinations.  Let’s cover them first.

  1. Male, Male, Male (MMM or Gay Trio) – Never had one.  Don’t ever plan to.  We won’t be covering this.
  2. Female, Female, Female (FFF or Lesbian Trio) – Never had one.  I’d need extensive surgery and the price seems a bit high.  But I am willing to watch.
  3. Female, Male, Male (FMM) –  Never had one.  I did come very close once though.  Turns out the other guy chickened out.  Not the girl.  Then things got weird(er).
  4. Female, Female, Male (FFM) – This is what we’re covering today.  This I have had a bit of real life experience with.  Which I guess is why I’m the one doing this.  Sad but true.

But yes, in my youth, I was involved in three distinctly separate FFM Threesome situations.  All three were of varying degrees of emotional involvement.  And we’re going to cover all three from least emotionally complicated to most complicated.  Which just so happens to be in reverse chronological order of how I personally experienced them.  I never have done anything exactly correctly.

Well, other than threesomes.  Turns out I’m actually pretty good at them.

But just like any other sexual relationship, it’s all about paying attention to your partner(s) and giving them what they want.  Threesomes just require a little extra multitasking at times.

When I’m with a girl, I try to pay attention to her reactions.  It’s almost like a mental Rolodex of what she responds to/how she responds to it.  Frankly, the biggest turn on for me is getting her turned on.  And I really do mean that.  My biggest enjoyment is seeing her enjoy herself.  Knowing I’ve given her enjoyment.  Does that make sense?

And even when it’s two girls, the same is true.  One just needs to be more organized with the filing system is all.  Multitasking.

Being able to get two girls off at the same time is a pretty big rush.  It’s an amazing ego boost.  I shit you not.

HOWEVER…

Part of that multitasking, perhaps the most important part, is that there is also a factor of emotions and possibly even jealousy if it’s an ongoing relationship.  Which is very important to remember.  But we’ll get to that.

The Emotions of It

Tier I – The One Night Stand Threesome

This happened to me once.  I briefly, and without detail, told this story in one of the open threads very recently.  I won’t go into any further detail here, fwiw.  Sorry.

But at one time I ended up having two Hooters waitresses unexpectedly accompany me to a baseball game in Baltimore.  Even more unexpectedly, they both accompanied me back to my hotel.  It turned into an interesting night.

Just like any other one night stand however, this type of situation doesn’t require as much of a delicate touch.  What is “expected” becomes clear fairly quickly.  Having a modicum of respect and awareness gets you through this night without too much difficulty.

 

Tier II – The Girlfriend Exploring Her Bisexuality

Having an established relationship with a girl who confides in you that she thinks she might be bisexual is not a bad thing.  But it does require a bit of a delicate touch.  Trust me.

Encouraging her to be open about her sexuality and to explore it, while balancing out her possible jealousy, can be tricky.  She may or may not want you to be directly involved, first of all.  Which can also be tricky for your own emotions.  It’s best to be encouraging, but not pushy.  But also if it makes you feel jealous, you should be honest.  It’s not a situation everyone can navigate.

In my case, the girlfriend in question voiced her feelings to me.  I told her that if that’s who she was, then she should pursue it.  Turns out she had already zeroed in on a target.  Our neighbor at the time.  Who fortunately was very hot.  And also very into it, as it turns out.

I more or less told the girlfriend to do whatever makes her happy, she had my blessing.  As long as she was happy, I was happy.  For a month or so, I got to hear very arousing stories of their times together.  And it did enhance our sex lives together as well, even before this threesome situation ever happened.  Because it aroused us both.  It aroused her to tell it, it aroused me to hear it.

Then, after a month or so, I got pulled into it directly.  The actual threesome action only happened a couple of times in this situation.  Mostly because it turns out that in spite of her being very attractive outwardly, I really ended up disliking the neighbor personally.  No need to go into why.

But my point is that if you find yourself in that situation, be supportive.  Be understanding.  Be a friend.  At the very least, you might get some good stories.  At best, you might get pulled in.  And then have some REALLY good stories.

 

Tier III – The Established Threesome Relationship

When I was still in grad school, I was in a monogamous relationship with a very lovely girl.  One night, very unexpectedly, a friend of hers showed up at our apartment.  She had broken up with her boyfriend and needed a place to stay.  We have the spare bedroom.  Of course, if she needs a place to stay she can stay here, I said.  No worries.

Now I was full into school at the time, so I really wasn’t paying attention for the first few weeks of this situation, quite frankly.  But honestly, I had noticed the new girl, we had sort of hit it off, but then I kinda forgot about it.

But after a few weeks, and again without going into too much detail, it became obvious that the new girl had developed feelings for me.  That whole White Knight Syndrome, I suppose?  I had given her safety, security and asylum when she needed it.  Though at the time I didn’t even realize.  But when it became obvious, I voiced my concerns about it to the girlfriend.  She said she already knew that.  And that she was OK with it if I was.

“What do you mean by that?”  I asked.  And she proceeded to tell me what she meant.

Which led to this becoming an open relationship between the three of us.  I really did like the new girl a lot.  It wasn’t forced.  And the girls obviously liked one another as well.  And for a while, it worked fine.  We had ground rules.

  1. No one touches anyone else but the three of us.
  2. If any of the two of us end up having relations without the third, we’re open and honest about it.  No lying.

But here’s where that jealousy thing comes in…

Eventually, probably after a few months or so, I began to notice that it was rarely the three of us together anymore.  It was me with one or the other of them.  And while I know on the surface that sounds great, and I guess for a while it was an ego boost, it is not sustainable.  It became a situation where one was trying to out do the other with me.  Again, trust me, that is not as good as it sounds.

Then the catfights began.

My point is that threesomes can be fun.  And even very fulfilling as far as an established relationship long term…with the right people.

But for threesome relationships to be sustainable long term, it takes all three parties to be truly open and honest and without jealousy.  Otherwise, it will not work.

I ended up moving out and renting a new place.  By myself.  Just for the peace and quiet.  And telling them both they had 3 months to find a new place to live while I paid the rent (at two places) until the lease ran out.  They both ended up very quickly finding new boyfriends.

Funny how that happens, huh?

Least Favorite FFM Threesome Position?

The Stack – Both girls lying on top of one another while you alternate intercourse with each.  After a while, it gets very tiring trying to reach the girl on top.

Most Favorite FFM Threesome Position?

It’s a tie!!!!!  It’s a tie between….

The Double Blowjob – There’s just something about two girls you care about, and I really do mean you care about both of them…. both staring you in the eyes, as one deepthroats you, and the other sucks your balls.  And then they switch.  They really are trying to make you feel good.  To make you happy.  It’s an amazing feeling.

The Threesome 69 – I don’t really know what it’s called.  That’s my best approximation of nomenclature.  But the girls are in a 69 position with one another.  And trust me, you haven’t lived until you’re banging the top girl doggy style, while the girl on the bottom sucks your balls.

I thought my ass was gonna explode the first time I came that way.  I mean that in a good way, btw.  A VERY good way.

OK then.  I suppose some of you are gonna laugh your asses off at this.

Some of you are gonna think it’s a terrible way to think.  Judge me if you must.  I’m OK with it.

In any case, I assure you that I always have my partner’s/partners’ pleasure, safety and well-being in mind.

Look guys…if you ever do find yourselves in a position to score the threesome, the best advice I have is to be open and honest and care about your multiple partners as best as, and the same as, you would a single partner.  It’s complicated, no doubt.  But if you’re honest and caring, then you have nothing to be ashamed of.  I wouldn’t trade my threesome experiences for anything.  And I know that I dealt with all three types with a level of caring and integrity I can be proud of.

And in the end, that’s all that matters.  It’s about mutual respect.

Well, that and banging two chicks at the same time.  That’s pretty cool too.

Later Taters.

Class Dismissed….

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.

28
Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
13 Comment threads
15 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
13 Comment authors
Don TMoose -The End Is Well NighSonOfSpamSenor WeaseloHoratio Cornblower Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
SonOfSpam

If in 20+ years of marriage, one’s wife has never expressed interest in getting another girl involved for sexytime, should one take that as a hint it ain’t never gonna happen, or should one say “Hey, ya know what would make a great birthday present…”? Asking for a friend (points at penis).

Senor Weaselo

Obligatory:

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

A baseball game in Baltimore is when you when you watch all the grass disintegrate and then get your indictments thrown out en masse like Lou Piniella.

Senor Weaselo

No, that’s a Tampa baseball game. A Baltimore baseball game is when you watch all the grass disintegrate, then kick some dirt over it while swearing at it like Earl Weaver, all while Seven Nation Army plays in the background.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All I know about threesomes is that if your girfriend says she might possibly be into it and then you go make out with a German tourist you saw sunbathing topless on the beach and try to explain that your actions were only in the interest of trying to arrange said threesome, your girlfriend is gonna get really, really mad.

Horatio Cornblower

Nobody told you to start kissing Hitler. That’s all on you.

litre_cola

Buddy of mine and I had a couple sessions MMF with a woman when we worked at a resort hotel. Everything was cool. I distinctly remember taking a break and drinking a beer, smoking a bowl at the end of the bed while he went to town. Best part of this is his little brother dated her for 3 years after….
MFF was a bit overwhelming with 2 women who were NAWT bi. Too much to take care of yourself without help.
RESORT HOTELS IN YOUR 20’S are amazing, they do skew your “dating” life later in life.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I never worked at a resort hotel, but I *did* work at a backpackers lodge (basically, a hostel) in my twenties and yeah, those places are…different than real life.

yeah right

Or to avoid any potential emotional tangles just hire 2 friendly workers at a Nevada legalized brothel and everybody wins!

Horatio Cornblower

“I really ended up disliking the neighbor personally. No need to go into why.”

She had a bigger dick?

LemonJello
LemonJello

She had an undergrad degree from U*NC?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Surprisze butt seks is always acceptable during these; Hulk Hogan sez so.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“You know it, brother!”
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

tWBS gets more pussy than an animal shelter in Miami apparently.

Don T

🏆

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t do it if you even think certain long term relationship partners will be emotionally……. perturbed. *Some people* will say they are cool with it, but are actually not. It can also change afterwards. Then gets brought up in arguments or when *Some people* want to argue. I heard this happened to someone who knows someone that knows someone that I know.

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Very well done!! Obligatory:

comment image