Your Tag Deadline Day Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

Franchise tags:

  • Today at 4:00ET was the deadline for applying a franchise tag to a current player under negotiations.
    • The list:
      • Franchise tagged:
        • Le’Veon Bell (Steelers)
        • Lamarcus Joyner (Rams)
        • Jarvis Landry (Dolphins)
        • Ziggy Ansah (Lions)
        • DeMarcus Lawrence (Cowboys)
      • Transition tagged: ($2 million less)
        • Kyle Fuller (Bears)
          • meaning he can negotiate with other teams, but the Bears get first right of refusal
    • If teams cannot negotiate separate deals for these players by July 16, the franchise tag becomes a one-year contract & counts 100% against the salary cap.
      • None of that “signing bonus” and “deferred salary” crap the Patriots always seem to get away with that can be spread out over multiple years.
      • SB Nation has a basic primer on the topic.
  • Here are the positional values for the franchise tag, based on the NFL’s 2018 salary cap of $177.2 million:
    • Quarterback – $23.189 million
    • Running back – $11.866 million (*Le’Veon Bell gets $14.5 million, as a two-time tagee)
    • Wide Receiver – $15.982 million
    • Tight end – $9.846 million
    • Offensive line – $14.077 million
    • Defensive tackle – $13.939 million
    • Defensive End – $17.143 million
    • Linebacker – $14.961 million
    • Cornerback $14.975 million
    • Safety $11.287 million
    • Kicker/Punter – $4.939 million

Other news:

  • Retiring:
    • Al Riveron announced via Twitter that Ed Hochuli & Jeff Triplette were retiring.
      • Their replacements include Ed’s son Shawn.
      • Hochuli had been in the League since 1990, and Triplette since 1996.
        • A fair amount of sentiment for Ed; a whole lot of “about fucking time!” for Jeff
        • Plus, the classics!

  • Stealing from Crimebeat!
    • The Raiders have released Aldon Smith following reports of domestic violence charges.
      • The warrant lists charges of willful infliction of corporal injury, assault with force likely to produce great bodily injury, false imprisonment and vandalism.
      • He turned himself in this afternoon, and was held on a $30,000 bond
  • PFT has the complete draft order on their site, if you are so inclined.
    • Atlanta currently has the privilege of drafting Mr. Irrelevant at #256

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Red Wings at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Capitals at Ducks – 10:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Hawks at Raptors – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Rockets at Thunder – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Pelicans at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN2
    • Nets at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA: Conference Tournaments
    • Men’s:
      • ACC: Syracuse vs. Wake Forest – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Horizon League: The championship: Cleveland State vs. Wright State – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Northeast: LIU (Brooklyn) at Wagner – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Summit League: The championship: South Dakota vs. South Dakota State – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • West Coast: The championship: Gonzaga vs. BYU – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Women’s:
      • Big East: The championship: DePaul vs. Marquette – 7:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • “Fastlane” is this Sunday; the last PPV before Wrestlemania, so that card should really start taking shape soon.

AVOID THAT SUMMIT LEAGUE ACTION, HIPPO!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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litre_colaMoose -The End Is Well NighBrettFavresColonoscopyBeerguyrobUnsurprised Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s got two thumbs and just led a team of randos to a Pub Trivia win?

/counts thumbs

THIS GUY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Hey beerguy and litre: Ever do the drive to BC from Alberta or vice versa in April? Do you need winter tires for that or is the highway fine by then?

litre_cola

Wife is from salmon Arm. We do it all the time in a aWD Honda cRV. The sketchy part os between golden and revelstoke. Hell, I am doing it in 2 weeks. No worries at all.

Wakezilla

My melt your earth hot taek: Browns should go defense for picks 1 and 4 in round 1* and trade their 4th or 5th round pick for Bennett from the C-Hox. Then sign Bridgewater and Koepernick for QB, sign a pissed off Dez Bryant and then profit.

*I’m kind of surprised most prognosticators aren’t even entertaining the notion that the Browns go defense for both picks. The Browns could become historically measty if they did

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’d spend picks 1 and 4 in the first round on those.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

As of now, I still have to go to work tomorrow. Womp womp…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

I mean, all the T1000 had to do was find out what guys find attractive and morph into it. Instead, it turned into a kind of ugly dude and a haggard housewife

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/Bitching guitar riff for 2 minutes

SEX!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

THERE WILL BE NO ENCORE!

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Still an infinitely better choice for President than the current one.

Wakezilla

Scorpio cared way more about his people than both political parties have combined.

SonOfSpam

Kinda love Hank Scorpio. I mean, even if he was real.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s never making it past the DUI checkpoint.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Warriors vs Nets. Should be an easy W.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

They should rename them the Nyets amirite??

/punches self in groin

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

That is so fucking hot.

King Hippo

I am not prepared to live in a world where Gonzaga might actually be good. Instead of, you know, scrappy. But hey, thanks to the cool nicknamed Blackbirds for making me good money tonight. Only have a little on the Jackrabbits (also cool name) so the Summit trap is no biggie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Somehow I missed this Deadspin article dragging Uproxx until now

https://deadspin.com/reading-product-plugs-from-joshua-tree-helped-me-unders-1822234122

blaxabbath

re: Rep Sonny Bono, below –

When I was a kid we lived down the mountain from Lake Tahoe and the county had a winter program where they took the kids up to heavenly every Sunday in winter to ski all day and then bus us back to the high school for pick up each night. I’m sure my parents just shoved us in it because it was cheap and got rid of us once a week. It was great and I learned to ski by, after one morning lesson, just following along with my older brother and his friends. Basically, my ski style is “And 1 Streetball Mixtape” (I mean, I’m good but i know I’m no The Professor).

Anyways, I found out about Sonny dying because i went off a jump from a ditch and barely missed slamming into two trees. Some dude yelled down from the lift, “Nice one, Sonny Bono!”

That actually may have been my first introduction to politics.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Died too soon? He’s one that should have died earlier, before he got elected.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have never heard anyone say he died too soon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Republicans.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I meant humans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cher didn’t have to pay him alimony any more, so she saved some bucks.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I’ve received four mailers from J.B. Pritzker’s campaign and each once has raised the chances I scrawl “go fuck yourself” over his name on the ballot.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Running a billionaire failson for chief executive. That’s a bold strategy.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m pro-accelerationism.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Honestly it all seems to be accelerating on its own.

Senor Weaselo

“Just not in a Rimac.” -Richard Hammond

litre_cola

HEY ICE COWBOYS FEEL FREE TO SCORE A FUCKING GOAL OR TWO!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A what?

— All of Dallas

SonOfSpam

Brett Hull did that once. Broke the Sabres.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is actually the first time I’ve actually seen the video of the Kony 2012 guy in San Diego.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Hahaha!

Senor Weaselo

Low Commander?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Not enough lightning bolts and calling upon hellfire to smite the Spanos Clan.

Gratliff

Now that I’m off on a tangent about the changes to the HHS funding decisions, someone please explain to me where the entire idea of people waiting til marriage to fuck comes from in the year of our lord 2018? In the entire history of mankind, it’s never been the consensus thing to do. Are people really convinced that this was ever a thing people did? Did they not have parents and grandparents who admitted at some point or another that they were good, decent sinners? This is somehow a more fringe belief to me than fucking Infowars schtick.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You’re overthinking this, dude. It’s just to punish poor people for being poor.

WCS

Puritanism’s legacy.

SonOfSpam

Ok…when we were kids/teens, it was mainly used as “don’t do anything stupid yet” but once we hit a certain age, we understood that no one meant that.

From a religious standpoint, like everything else, it’s about control.

Gratliff

As one of the great philosophers of our time once put it:

they know that is a catalyst, and that’s why religion and government have to control supply and demand of pussy. And they do that by heaping shame upon you should you want to give away more than the ‘federally allocated recommended daily allowance of pussy’. “Oh, she wants to suck more than one dick?! Whore! Shun your natural instinct, whore, or nothing’ll get built.” — It comes down to production, it really does. They have to keep that pussy like a dangling carrot, something that’s hard to get so he keeps running on the treadmill, building more shit, sending out more boxes to the dollar store, pointless shit that no one needs. — That’s why cocaine is illegal: it makes pussy too easy to get.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

They don’t count anal..

SonOfSpam

BYU vs Gonzaga is a pretty good game; post-game celebration sex will not feature birth control.

Gratliff

Conservatives have long criticized the $286 million Title X program, which funds family planning services, mostly for low-income women, because it gives money to Planned Parenthood and other groups that provide abortions, even though there is a prohibition on using those dollars for abortions.

Now, for the first time, the final decision of who gets the funding will be in the hands of one person — Valerie Huber, the acting deputy assistant secretary for population affairs at HHS, a longtime advocate of abstinence.

The system works!

SonOfSpam

Just…fuck everything. Motherfuckers better fucking vote in November.

Senor Weaselo

Gratliff

Carolina with its back against the wall and the season on the line….goes down 5-0 to Minnesota. Was gonna make a Cam Ward AARP joke but the motherfucker’s younger than me despite being in the league for 16 years.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Who’s he? Redshirt Sophomore?

Gratliff

Ready Player One looks like a movie I could really enjoy if I could turn my brains off long enough to revel in nostalgia, but definitely a movie that is going to be complete dogshit on its own merits

SonOfSpam

NBC headline: Stormy Daniels sues Trump, says ‘hush agreement’ invalid because he never signed

Always, ALWAYS sign your NDA with the porn star you fucked.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hard to sign an NDA if you can’t read the NDA.

SonOfSpam

Kinda doubt he can spell NDA.

Gratliff

He never really approved of Dr. Dre

litre_cola

More of a Naughty by Nature fan.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

No doubt. He can’t.

Senor Weaselo

That’s almost impressive.

WCS

Remember when Congress tried to impeach Bill Clinton for getting a BJ?

SonOfSpam

That’s different; she was a fat chick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I would have banged her too.

ballsofsteelandfury

They also DID impeach him. He just didn’t leave the presidency.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

He got impeached for lying under oath.

For a guy that was a fucking lawyer, he deserved to be impeached.

SonOfSpam

Well, that depends on what the definition of “is” is.

Garbage husband and the epitome of a slick-as-hell politician, but holy shit is he a better human being than current White House squatter.

Gratliff

The bar is basically submerged at this point

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The basis of our entire legal system is testifying under oath.

As per Trump, one of the things I appreciate about him is he does not make his shtick palatable for white America. Clinton was very good at hiding his destructive policies.

SonOfSpam

Yes…testifying under oath about consensual sex because the guy tapped to convict the Clintons about Whitewater couldn’t find anything.

Fine, Clinton was…complicated. But to favorably compare Trump to any other President is not something I can get on board with.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*But to favorably compare Trump to any other almost any other person is not something I can get on board with.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The irony is that witness testimony is a lot of shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Trump, making his shtick palatable for a big portion white America is what got him fucking elected.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I didn’t like Bill Clinton until the Lewinsky scandal happened. Then I liked him.

SonOfSpam

Presidents: They’re just like us!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

In fact I remember when it broke, because I was back visiting Washington DC (my hometown) and Congressman Sonny Bono had just died in a skiing accident. And I drove around the U.S. Capitol Building and saw the flag at half-mast. And I thought to myself: “The U.S. flag over the Capitol Building is at half-mast for Sonny Bono. Sonny fucking Bono.” And then the scandal broke and everyone forgot about Sonny Bono.

SonOfSpam

Well, he WAS a Congressman (somehow). But even Congressmen are not immune to the dangerous California Sneaky Wandering Pine.

(Note: I did not look up whether he died in California. Don’t care.)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It was the Sierra Nevadas. Which side of the border doesn’t really matter when you hit a tree at 90mph.

Gratliff

And quite the congressman he was. His lasting legacy is *checks notes* the perpetual extension of the duration of copyrights as a personal favor to Disney to make sure no one can ever utter the words Mickey Mouse without being sent directly to the gutter.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

TBF, that’s mostly the Lanham Act granting perpetual rights on trademarks. The 20-year extension to the Copyright Act was just a way to delay early films becoming public domain.

King Hippo

he’s a smart businessman who’s smart at business ,, ppl forget that

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

oooh you said it; not easy retaining money after six bankruptcies… also you knees by not paying east coast contractors.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Been thinking about this album all day:

Gratliff

This is equal parts horrifying and nauseating

John Travolta will play Fred Durst in a movie directed by the Limp Bizkit frontman https://t.co/C0TdzUEphR pic.twitter.com/ZAXijN8xg9

— Variety (@Variety) March 7, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wow.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Aw, shit. The tweet is wrong. It says Travolta is playing a stalker and Devon Sawa is playing the Durst character.

SonOfSpam

Still has some nice train wreck potential.

Gratliff

So Stan’s getting a stalker? What a fucking weird world we live in

SonOfSpam

That’s just all kinda great.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“Moose” marks the second collaboration between Ambi and Travolta in the last year. Travolta starred with Shania Twain in Ambi’s father/son stock car racing film “Trading Paint,” which is currently in post-production. Durst previously directed the feature films “The Education of Charlie Banks” and “The Longshots.”

Gratliff

This is equal parts horrifying and touching
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Did he kill himself out of shame for being a Twitter atheist?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I like this kid. Quote from 2:17 of the video:

Hogg: “At this point it’s like when your old-ass parents are like ‘i don’t know how to send an imessage’ and you’re just like ‘give me the fucking phone’ and you get it done in one second. Sadly that’s what we have to do with our government, because our parents don’t know how to use a democracy, so we have to.”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I edited that. I was mean. But I kinda meant it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just remember, most people suck, so odds are good that any individual will suck. But it’s not a lock.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think I’m good with the transition tag for Fuller. Means there’s still a chance for him to stay with the Bears and still a chance for me to be right.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K-V_ah6IIs&feature=youtu.be

She went down like a lady…head up.

One of the more fascinating aspects of the Pacific War was how the Japanese Navy considered damage control drills to be “defeatism”, hence they generally did not practice often. On the opposite end, the US Navy pretty much did it non-stop, so even in a situation like the CV-2 Lexington, the vast majority of the crew survived the sinking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Should I re-up my hours to get re-certified for fixed wing?
Should I just start over for rotary ?
(which is what I really want to do, frankly)
((that’s helicopters, you assholes))
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I’d be better than that. Probably.

Or should I just say fuck it, I’m too old for any of that shit and just spend the money on weed and hookers?

Brick Meathook…what say you??????

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Whirley Birds!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

When I want to fly I put on my homemade pilot’s uniform and just walk past security at LAX and go sit in an airplane cockpit. United Airlines is particularly easy to do this with. I just tell the first officer to fly the plane and that’s it. Surprisingly no one has ever questioned me. I think the secret is that on my jacket sleeve I put six stripes (it’s just gold xmas ribbon from Walgreens) and therefore I outrank all other captains by two stripes. Try it sometime

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. Weed and hookers is the best answer. Because otherwise, this…
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But I am sad I’ll never get to fly that A-10. Such a cool fucking vessel.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Maybe we could buy a vintage one. Granted, without the GAU-8 it’s like flying a glorified paper airplane, but it’s better than nothing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

A local “marina” had a vintage attack chopper for sale recently.
It’s not for the unrich like us. I could have taken out a loan, but I’d have been paying it off until my great grandchildren were dead.

If I ever hit the lottery, we’ll talk.

/doesn’t play the lottery

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Then robbing the lottery it is.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think you are the DFOer I am most curious to meet in person.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto. He’s cool as fuck.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Brick, what do you say, SoCal meet up when tWBS is in Venice…which is where I am at this exact moment.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You sonofabitch.

No, I’m not jealous at all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That reminds me, I need to update the email thread.
I talked to the Santa Monica Parks people today.

No dice on the grilling, more or less.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’ll try! Fifth time’s a charm!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll loop you in when I update the email thread in a day or so.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I feel weird “liking” such nice compliments about me but I’ll do it anyway.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Do both. I need a private pilot to fly me down to L.A.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I already have a way to get myself off. I want someone else to get me off for a change.

Senor Weaselo

GET TO DA CHOPPA!

rockingdog
rockingdog

Evening gang!
Found a funny:

[god creating infinity] oh I’ll finish that later…

Gratliff

Twitter is good sometimes
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s a shame Joe Theismann didn’t react with such shock that he fell out of his chair and broke his leg again. Joe Theismann fucking sucks and I hate him, the Washington team, Cousins, Snyder, and the Washington metro area for continuing to perpetrate this fucking farce.

Gratliff

Any time I think back to him calling Sunday Night Football, all I can see is this gif
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So close.

rockingdog
rockingdog

I gonna call it. Nick Foles goes to Arizona and plays for Cardinals!

herodotus450
herodotus450

This Bos-Det game is approaching soccer levels of scoring, and still in the first period.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What a fucking shock. The military is only the largest employer in Maryland. What the fuck did he think was going to happen? Everyone involved in this can eat shit and die.

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ballsofsteelandfury

10 will get you 1 that the N word was involved in that conversation.

herodotus450
herodotus450

There’s a typo in that though, it should say “..high, ranking member…”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I’m going to revert to being a Stillers fan.

Oh wait.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

This is why in person, I never mention I am a veteran.

Jesus Christ so many of us are just pretentious pricks.